Glenda's Secret
by McIzzieFan
Summary: The real reason Glenda walked out on Ronnie and Roxy in 1989. Story about Glenda meeting her daughters again plus major shocks and secrets quickly emerge. Includes more than one shocking return you've got to read to find out... Please review :D
1. Moving For The Sake Of Motion

_1989_

_Glenda stood at her daughters bedroom door and looked down at the sleeping innocent faced fourteen year old and then down to her daughters bulging baby bump. Walking along the corridor she opened the door of her younger daughters room and sighed deeply, her beautiful blonde angels. It would kill her to leave them, but if she tried to take them Archie would kill her she knew that... Glenda had to leave, she had to leave to protect her own secret... Her daughter wasn't the only one who was pregnant, bringing her hands to her own stomach Glenda felt a tear escape from her eyes and roll down her cheek. "It's ok..." she whispered "At least I can give one of my children a normal life". Grabbing her suitcase she crept down the stairs as quietly as she could. Archie hadn't come home, 'probably sleeping with one of his fancy women' Glenda cursed in her mind, so she decided now was the time, time to go, escape the country and leave. The taxi had pulled up outside and she gave the driver her luggage, breathing deeply she prayed she was doing the right thing, looking up at the house one last time, Glenda suddenly realised her actions had not gone unnoticed, there was Ronnie looking out of her bedroom window. "Baby" Glenda mouthed, Ronnie nodded as to say she understood. Glenda couldn't hate herself more than she did right now but Archie loved them girls, he would never hurt them... Would he?_

Present Day

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Roxy asked helping to move Ronnie's stuff back into her flat

"Need to get my independence back Rox, can't be sharing a bed with my baby sister forever can I?" Ronnie laughed, Roxy noticed her sister looked almost carefree for the first time since... Roxy cut the thought off, thinking about Danielle only hurt she couldn't imagine the pain Ronnie had gone through.

"Yeah I suppose I could do without you snoring all night!" Roxy teased

"I do not snore!" Ronnie protested "Anyway I think my sleep will be far better now it won't be interrupted by your farting!"

Roxy pulled a face of mock shock and disgust, before laughing and heaving the last of the Ronnie's boxes into the flat. Ronnie stood outside the door and breathed deeply steadying herself as she noted the faded and almost invisible red graffiti that had once adorned her front door... 'evil cow'.

"You need more photos in here, preferably of me, to liven the place up! God it's like a morgue in here..." Roxy stopped herself, realising morgue talk probably wasn't productive.

"Roxy stop trying to protect me" Ronnie scolded

"What's this doing here" Roxy asked disgusted picking up a photo of Ronnie and Glenda

"It's a photo of mum" Ronnie sighed

"I know that, I just don't get why after twenty years you still give a damn!" Roxy snapped "She walked out and left us Ron"

"Why can you never see things from her point of view Roxy? Dad was a cheating, womanising bully she had to get away" Ronnie defended

"She left us with him Ron, she left us." Roxy spat slamming down the picture

"Come on Rox, I don't want to argue with you. I tell you what i'll go down the shop later and buy the most outrageous frame I can possibly find and stick a photo of you and Amy in" Ronnie smiled

Roxy stuck out her bottom lip before breaking out into a massive smile.

"How about we decorate this place Ron? I'm thinking bright pink walls!" Roxy grinned

"Roxy go away" Ronnie teased cuddling her little sister.

****

"This place is a dump" the teenage girl noted

"Never thought my girls would end up here" Glenda sighed

"I don't understand why we're here" the girl complained once again

"Because Rebecca I want you to meet your sisters" Glenda smiled


	2. Let The Flames Begin

"_Where is she Veronica?!" Archie shouted crashing into Ronnie's bedroom "your mother where is she?" Ronnie just looked at him blankly trying to avoid a confrontation with her father. Archie continued to glare at her until a feeling of horror rushed through him. "Roxanne?!" Archie panicked running into his youngest daughters room, he breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw his little girl looking up at him with big blue eyes. "Good" Archie sighed "the bitch wasn't stupid enough to take my little Roxanne" Ronnie looked at her father willing him to be relieved that she was there as well. "Shame she didn't take you and that thing with her" gesturing towards Ronnie's massive bump._

Ronnie tried to shake the thought, remembering when her mother left was painful. Maybe Roxy was right maybe she shouldn't have a photo of Glenda out. Ronnie sighed deeply before deciding the photo should stay, alongside it Ronnie added a few others; her and Roxy in Ibiza looking young, tanned and stress free, one of Roxy and Amy in the over-the-top pink glitter frame Ronnie had promised and finally she put up a picture of Danielle. A few months a go doing this would have broken Ronnie's heart all over again, but time had started to heal the pain and Ronnie decided she wanted to show off her beautiful little girl. Stacey had been happy to oblige with a photo, one of Danielle at her happiest, Ronnie stroked the picture, the oh so familiar features that Ronnie now couldn't believe she hadn't noticed and placed the frame down alongside the other pictures. Her family.

***

"Big announcements shouldn't be made on an empty stomach" Rebecca smiled squeezing her mothers hand and pulling her towards the cafe.

"Ok" Glenda smiled, not sure she'd be able to stomach food, not when her tummy was fluttering with nerves the way it was right now, Glenda wasn't even sure she'd be able to pick her daughters out of a crowd.

"Can we have two bacon sandwiches and two cups of tea please" Rebecca smiled at Jane

Glenda sat back and looked at her daughter, it always pained her because in the back of her mind she was always wondering what Ronnie and Roxy were like at that age. Bec was different to her beautiful blonde angels, a brunette she shared similar facial features to her older sisters but had always been very quiet in nature not as outspoken as Ronnie and Roxy had been, perhaps it was being brought up alone without her siblings.

"You look pale mum" Rebecca smiled stroking her mothers face

"Sorry i'm just thinking, we don't even have an address for them" Glenda worried, not sure how she'd even be able to find her daughters if she didn't know what they looked like.

"Let me fix that" Rebecca smiled walking back over to the counter "Excuse me do you know either Veronica or Roxanne Mitchell?" she asked Jane

"Well Roxy lives at the Queen Vic and Ronnie lives on George Street, number 89 I think" Jane smiled

"Thanks for that" Rebecca beamed taking the bacon sandwiches and the cups of tea back over to the table "who's first?"

Glenda thought about it but the decision wasn't a hard one.

"Ronnie first" Glenda smiled

"Look I reckon I should stay here, it's going to be overwhelming enough for her without me sitting there" Rebecca explained

"Thank you darling" Glenda smiled, kissing Rebecca's cheek she made her way towards the door.

As she exited she passed, unknowingly, Roxy who was making her way into the cafe. Neither woman recognised each other, they passed by completely unaware.

"Alright Jane, cup of tea please" Roxy smiled

Rebecca gulped down the rest of her sandwich and washed it down with the cup of tea, getting up she decided to explore the rest of Walford, darting towards the door she knocked into Roxy almost sending her flying.

"Oy Madam watch where you're going!" Roxy snapped

"Well there's no need to speak to me like that, you're the one that's in the way!" Rebecca retaliated muttering 'stupid cow' under her breath.

"You wanna say that a bit louder?!" Roxy taunted

"I called you a stupid cow, now can you get out of my way!" Rebecca spat dropping money onto the counter

Jane and Roxy exchanged a look.

"I'll be back in a minute" Roxy hissed to Jane following Rebecca out of the cafe "oy you!"

"Oh I really can't be bothered with this" Rebecca sighed, she was slightly intimidated by this fierce looking woman but she didn't want to let it show.

"No-one talks to Roxy Mitchell like that!" Roxy screeched

"Roxy Mitchell?!" Rebecca gasped, turning away and moving as fast as she possibly could from the woman she had just realised was her sister

"Oh you've clearly heard of me! My reputation is obviously pretty scary! Yeah run along little girl" Roxy groaned, laughing at the scared teenager.

***

Glenda took a deep breath as she rang the doorbell, her whole body shook with fear. The door opened, and Glenda could hardly breathe, the woman standing before her was tall, beautiful and oh so glamorous she looked like Rebecca only with a maturity that only added to her looks.

"Veronica" she stuttered hardly daring to believe that this could be her daughter

"Mum?!" Ronnie gasped

**Thank you for the reviews, they're much appreciated. I've been thinking about this story for a little while and wanted to give Glenda a reason to have walked out all those years ago. **


	3. Revealed

_January 2nd 1990, Glenda sat up in her hospital bed and held onto her newborn daughter. "You're going to have the perfect life princess" Glenda kissed her baby's forehead breathing in her soft smell. The soft Adelaide sun broke through the window, a perfect day to start their perfect life._

Ronnie sat down on the sofa and warily watched her mother hovering around.

"You can sit... If you like" Ronnie offered not quite sure what to say

"Thank you" Glenda replied choosing the armchair opposite to Ronnie.

Ronnie stared at her mother taking in every detail, she had changed, older but still recognisable. Her hair and clothes seemed so much more relaxed than she remembered, but she supposed she had Archie controlling the way she looked back then.

"Tea?" Ronnie offered, her voice cracking with nerves

"Darling, why don't you just shout at me, get it over and done with" Glenda offered

Ronnie was taken aback by her mothers confidence, being away from Archie really had done her good. How could Ronnie shout at her for escaping the monster that was her father.

"I don't want to shout" Ronnie muttered realising she sounded like a small child.

"I can't get over how beautiful you are" Glenda sighed, with a contented smile.

Ronnie beamed back at her, acceptance and appreciation those things that always came so freely from her mother. Things Archie could never quite manage. Ronnie watched as Glenda rose up and headed over towards the row of photos that stood neatly on Ronnie's shelf.

"Roxanne?" Glenda gasped gently touching the photo

"Yep" Ronnie smiled getting up and standing next to her "and thats her daughter- Amy"

"A granddaughter" Glenda beamed "well that means I have two, unless... Did you have a boy or a girl Ronnie?"

Ronnie's face dropped, tension was thick in the air and Glenda could see the change in mood almost immediately.

"I've said something wrong haven't I?" Glenda worried

"You just left me, I was fourteen years old, pregnant and you just left me" Ronnie spat, a single tear escaping, rage building, Glenda had picked upon the one area of Ronnie's life that was still raw and painful.

"Darling i'm sorry but I had to go I..." Glenda started but was cut of by Ronnie before she could explain

"You see this beautiful little girl?" Ronnie growled picking up the picture of Danielle "Well she was mine, my daughter, but she's dead now and i'll never get to hold her in my arms again. You don't understand but the day you left you started a chain of events that led to her death"

Glenda's heart lurched at the sight of her daughter in so much pain, sobs escaped from Ronnie deep and so full of pain. She didn't understand, she didn't know what had happened so Glenda just did what instinct told her to do, pull her baby close and tell her everything was going to be alright.

"I'm sorry" Glenda soothed, holding Ronnie in her arms like when she was child, holding her close.

"Why did you leave me, why?" Ronnie gasped

"Because... Because I was pregnant as well Ronnie, I couldn't let Archie control another of my children" Glenda sobbed, her secret finally escaping. Ronnie looked at her completely in shock.

"You sacrificed my babies life for yours" Ronnie uttered pulling away from her mother.

***

Rebecca had tried calling her mum at least three times and it had gone to voicemail each time. She kept trying to imagine what it was like to have spent so long without a mum but she couldn't, she couldn't imagine not having Glenda's big warm cuddles and girly nights wrapped up in front of the television. She felt sorry for her sisters, sure they had gotten their father but from what Glenda had said about Archie Rebecca was glad she hadn't had him in her life. Rebecca sat down on the wall and decided to wait, she had already looked round the Square and the place was hardly exciting. Checking her mobile again, this time when she looked up she was confronted by the scary woman from the cafe... Her sister.

"You still hanging around?" Roxy asked

"I'm waiting for my mum" Rebecca replied in a timid voice "look i'm sorry about earlier I was out of line, it was my fault I wasn't looking where I was going"

"You're alright kid. That's an interesting accent you've got there, where you from?" Roxy questioned with a smile, sitting down next to her.

"Well i've spent most of my life in Australia, but my mums a Londoner so my accents a weird mix of the two" Rebecca laughed

"You eighteen?" Roxy asked

"Nineteen actually" Rebecca replied not sure why Roxy was asking

"Ah good you're more than old enough for an apology drink then, come on I live in a pub, drinks are on the house" Roxy smiled

"Sure" Rebecca stuttered, she couldn't tell her who she was but that didn't mean she couldn't get to know her sister.

Roxy wasn't sure what it was about this girl that made her want to look after her but since their confrontation Roxy had felt really guilty. Roxy watched as the girl brushed her hair out of her eyes fixing a smile onto her face.

"God you looked like my sister just then" Roxy laughed "that ain't a compliment!"

Rebecca joined in the laughing nervously, if only you knew Roxy, if only you knew.

**Hope you're liking this, it's taking a little while to get into the build up because there's just so much to explain. The more i'm writing the more things are changing from how I initially planned this in my head. Comments are always appreciated and thank you for reading. Will try and update again today :)**


	4. Reliving the Pain

"_Who's that?" four year old Rebecca asked pointing to the much treasured photo of Ronnie and Roxy that Glenda kept next to her bed. "Your sisters darling, remember I told you all about them" Glenda sighed pulling in her little girl for a cuddle. "They live with my daddy?" Rebecca questioned. "Yes baby" Glenda smiled. Rebecca pulled a face of confused wonder and then of deep thought before hopping off the bed and running out of the room. Glenda followed her wondering what her daughter was up to. "What are you doing there little one?" Glenda asked as Rebecca emptied out a bag of sweets onto the kitchen table and began separating her sweets into piles. "This one is for me" Rebecca pointed towards one of the three piles "this is for Ronnie and this is for Roxy, when they come and see us" Glenda felt a stabbing pain, how could she tell her baby that she might never meet her sisters? _

"You stopping round here long?" Roxy asked pushing the vodka and coke towards Rebecca

"Depends really" Rebecca smiled "mums got some things to sort out"

"I never meant to stick around here as long as I have, should be in Ibiza living it up!" Roxy laughed downing her vodka

"What's keeping you here?" Rebecca asked intrigued at the larger than life character in front of her

"Don't think Amy would appreciate me out clubbing all night" Roxy smiled pulling out her mobile phone and proudly showing off a photo of her daughter

"She's gorgeous" Rebecca beamed _'my niece'_ she thought

***

"Ronnie please, talk to me, explain to me" Glenda begged unsure at how to help her daughter. It had been easy when she was a child but now Ronnie was a woman, a woman Glenda didn't even know.

"You want to know the whole sorry tale do you?" Ronnie snapped, rubbing at her mascara smeared eyes

"Tell me everything" Glenda sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her daughter, holding onto her hand, Ronnie gripped on tight, like a child desperate to not let her go.

***

"Male talent round here isn't great" Roxy noted, downing yet another vodka. Rebecca couldn't believe quite how much Roxy was able to consume without even looking slightly inebriated

"He's alright" Rebecca smiled pointing out Jack who was standing at the bar, raising a glass in acknowledgement to Roxy

"No, no, no." Roxy warned with a smile

"History there?" Rebecca noticed

"Very complicated" Roxy replied

"He's cute" Rebecca pointed towards Bradley

"Taken" Roxy noted

"Hmm the best ones always are" Rebecca laughed

***

Hearing that Ronnie had been forced to give her baby up for adoption was no great surprise. Archie had made his feelings on Ronnie's pregnancy from the day they found out, it was also no great surprise to hear that her fragile, gentle and sensitive daughter had been haunted by that decision her entire adult life.

"I couldn't forget, I wanted to desperately I wanted those memories gone but a child is etched on your heart forever. That time I spent with her, the smell, those tiny fingers gripping onto me. When they took her away she cried, a screaming wail a sound so desperate that sometimes i'd wake up in the middle of the night certain I could hear her calling for me"

In a way the next part of the story was no great surprise either, Glenda truely could put nothing past her husband, evil flowed through Archie as freely as blood. Lies slipped out as easily as breathing. Archie was the master manipulator but she thought he had a limit, clearly he didn't.

"It was like he'd won a game. There was no protecting me, no protecting my feelings he just told me simply that she was dead... All I felt was emptiness, complete emptiness, how can you grieve for someone you don't know? I didn't know how, instead I let guilt chip away at me and eat me alive. Every little blonde girl on the street made me physically hurt, everyone that could remind me of my little girl. Sometimes it felt like the pain was choking me...."

Looking again at the photo of the happy young girl, Glenda instantly noted the similarities between Ronnie and Danielle.

"When you're not looking for someone it doesn't matter if they're standing right in front of you, you won't see them. I didn't see Danielle... But I should have noticed I should have noticed her there always trying to be my friend, always checking to see if I was alright. Part of me knew there was something there, I remember looking at her one day and I couldn't understand what it was. The way she looked at me, really looked at me, the way she understood me... Even I don't understand me"

Glenda was starting to see a different woman to the little girl she had left behind. This woman was hard and broken. These defenses were so high, so unpenetrable.

"She came to me and told me she was pregnant and it was almost like watching a version of myself. See Danielle was this sweet happy young girl, she was just like I was and I knew what changed me, having and losing my baby. I thought it would be easier if she had the abortion... I held her hand and I lied to her, I told her it was the right choice, I told her having my child was the biggest mistake of my life. I only made it to one appointment, because once she'd taken that first pill I felt sick and I couldn't watch anymore. I was selfish, that girl needed me, regardless of whether she was my daughter someone needed me and I let them down in the worse possible way."

This wasn't what Glenda had expected to find, this wasn't the person she thought her daughter would become.

"She changed, she was someone else and I should have noticed because it was a mirror, losing a child made her hard and determined just like it did to me. If she'd have told me everything would have been alright, instead she just stood back and let me beat her down time after time. Then dad found out who she was..."

What did she ever see in Archie Mitchell, Glenda desperately thought, how was she so blind to have not seen the animal that he was?

"He told her he'd told me, he told her I didn't want her, he told her that I wanted her to leave. Only my daughter wouldn't leave without a fight... On the day of his wedding, she finally confronted me she told me I was her mother and in my heart I think I knew it was true, straight away I knew but my head took over, my brain told me not to believe because I would get hurt all over again. There was dad rationalizing everything, he told me she was a liar and it was easier to believe him because I was trying to protect me. This little girl begged me to believe her and I threw her out, called her a freak and asked who'd want a daughter like her. I broke her."

Glenda was shocked, the pain and the hurt, everything had gone completely wrong and Archie just stood there and watched.

"I found her locket, the locket I had given her, it had a picture of me inside. I realised, this sick sinking realisation that my heart had been right and I tried to chase her, I tried to find her. I've never wanted anything quite so much in my entire life. I caught up with her and all I needed to utter was 'baby' that was enough that was all it took to make her smile. She loved me so unconditionally that she still wanted me even after everything that I had done. We were lost in each other, it all felt so right, she came towards me she wanted me to hold her and that was all I wanted as well. She didn't see the car, and even when she did she was too in shock to move. I held her in my arms, I held her and I felt her slipping away, I told her how much I loved her, I told her that I regretted giving her up... Despite everything she gave me one final gift, she called me 'mum' then slipped away. I had everything I ever wanted for 17 seconds..."

Ronnie moved over to the counter and poured herself a vodka, that familiar old friend. She looked down at her mother who hadn't moved since Ronnie had finished talking, she had told her everything. Glenda just sat there pale, guilt etched onto her face there weren't words to respond to what Ronnie had told her. Glenda felt her phone vibrating yet again, poor Rebecca, it's had been hours since she'd left her she would have to answer the phone.

"Honey" she smiled, desperate to hide the cracks in her voice

"Mum you'll never guess who i'm with" Rebecca whispered, whilst Roxy was at the bar getting yet another drink for them "Roxy!"

"Roxy? Wait Bec you haven't..." Glenda panicked

"She has no idea who I am, but she's great mum she's so funny" Rebecca beamed

"Oh darling be careful, she won't appreciate you lying to her" Glenda sighed

"Well get your bum over here and tell her!" Rebecca chuckled, overexcited now

"Give me time babe" Glenda finished, hanging up the phone.

Ronnie made her way over to Glenda

"That was her?" Ronnie managed a weak smile

"She managed to befriend your sister somehow, Roxy has no idea..." Glenda worried

"We should go and find them then shouldn't we" Ronnie soothed taking her mothers hand

"Ronnie i'm so sorry" Glenda broke down

"The past is the past mum" Ronnie muttered, grabbing her coat not sure if this was the right thing, not sure she wanted to meet this girl but doing so for her mother.

**Don't know if any of you read the original Chapter Four which I pulled down after about a minute! As soon as I read through it again I realised it simply wasn't good enough and that I completely rushed over one of the most important moments, anyway I apologise and hopefully this is much better though incredibly long so sorry! I'm currently toying with a big plot idea to come later on... Really big! :D Reviews are always appreciated, they really spur a girl on!**


	5. Mum

"_The girls don't want to talk to you, they hate you!" Archie snarled down the phone to Glenda, she was desperate to hear her daughters voices. "Listen to me, all I want from you is those divorce papers signed then that's it I want you out my life completely, if you think i'lll ever let you see those girls again then you are sadly mistaken, biggest mistake I ever made was marrying you!" Archie continued to bark._

Glenda and Ronnie walked over to the Vic in complete silence, neither really knew what to say to each other, Glenda couldn't help but keep staring at her daughter, the glamour and the beauty that radiated from her but also the sadness that consumed her. Glenda racked her brains for a simple topic of conversation just to break the silence but nothing seemed appropriate after what her daughter had told her.

Opening the door to the pub Ronnie stepped inside and scanned the room for her sister- _sisters_- she corrected herself mentally, it wasn't hard to spot them Roxy was being loud and telling a story excitably to the girl who sat next to her. Ronnie stopped and stared taking in every detail of her sister. Ronnie looked around and saw Glenda looked nervous, grabbing her hand and offering a slight smile Glenda instantly felt at ease as her daughter pulled her across the room.

"Glenda...?!" Peggy's voice broke through the idle chitchat of the pub and directed everyones attention towards Ronnie and her mother.

Roxy turned around, her jaw dropping as she saw Ronnie holding the hand of their mother. Older Roxy wouldn't have recognised her straight away, but in the eyes it was there.

"Mum?" Roxy stuttered in complete shock

"See this is the reason I come to the pub, cheap entertainment, the Mitchell's certainly like to put on a show!" Ian grinned to Christian

Christian sighed deeply looking over to Roxy "Shut up Ian"

"Darling" Glenda smiled

"Maybe you girls should take this upstairs" Peggy noted

"Yeah..." Roxy started, getting up and beginning to move but realising she should probably offer an explanation to her new friend "sorry Bec, my auntie Peggy will get you another drink but i've got to go and sort this out"

"I'm sorry Roxy" Rebecca sighed looking over to Glenda, Roxy didn't understand she looked at Ronnie confused and noted that Ronnie was looking over at Rebecca, really staring at her.

"Who are you?" Roxy asked nervously

"She's your sister Roxy" Glenda announced, Roxy stood completely in shock whilst Rebecca dropped her head unable to face Roxy now.

**A really short chapter I know, but the last one was massive and the next one is shaping up to be the same! Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate the support!**


	6. No Forgiveness

_The music was beating loudly and drunken clubbers surrounded them, for Ronnie and Roxy this was bliss... Ibiza nights. They'd downed plenty of shots and danced with plenty of men but now it was time for the short walk back to their apartment. "Do you ever think about her?" Ronnie asked suddenly as she pulled her sister along, the music still beating in the distance "who?" Roxy asked skipping along and trying to get her sister to do the same. "Mum..." Ronnie began, she wasn't sure why she was bringing this up now, too much drink always brought out the emotional side of her. "Nope, she's gone Ron, don't mean anything to me" Roxy laughed running ahead. Ronnie sighed before running after her sister._

"Those boys haven't changed a bit... Well less hair maybe" Glenda smiled holding a photo of Phil and Grant, trying to make conversation to cut through the thick tension that clouded the room. Roxy was sat in the armchair her legs pulled up to her chin, she hadn't said a word. Ronnie sat on the sofa her eyes darting between her mother and Roxy wondering what to say. Rebecca hovered by the door, not sure whether or not to leave, this was awkward enough without her she thought. Glenda moved between the three, picking up photos commenting on the decor anything but talk to her girls.

"Mum this is ridiculous are you going to talk or not?" Ronnie finally interrupted

"I don't know what to say darling" Glenda smiled looking over at Roxy willing her to speak

"Don't look at me" Roxy hissed narrowing her eyes at her mother "what are you doing here? We don't need you"

"Roxy grow up" Ronnie sighed, glaring at her sister

"Grow up! Grow up?!" Roxy growled "what am I supposed to say Ronnie, welcome home mummy nice of you to bring your other family with you, show us what we missed!"

Glenda and Ronnie looked at each other not knowing what to say, but Roxy wasn't finished yet, she stood up and made her way towards Rebecca.

"Nineteen... You said you were nineteen" Roxy questioned, slowly piecing together what had happened when her mother walked away "that means..."

"I was pregnant when I left" Glenda finished

"Dad doesn't know?!" Roxy gasped

"Do you think we'd be standing here if he did!" Glenda cried willing her daughter to understand

"This is ridiculous! I don't want to speak to you!" Roxy shouted making her way towards the door

"Roxy..." Rebecca started trying to prevent Roxy from leaving

"You are nothing to me, you get that! Nothing!" Roxy spat

Ronnie stood up ready to go after Roxy but Glenda stopped her.

"Let me go" Glenda soothed, following Roxy out of the room.

Rebecca stood awkwardly not quite knowing what to do, it took Ronnie a couple of minutes to realise that she was standing there.

"You might as well come and sit down" Ronnie smiled "we could be here a long time..."

***

Roxy stood in her room, holding Amy tight, the one good thing in her life Amy would never let her down. Looking down at her little girl Roxy couldn't understand how a mother could leave their child, this bond was so strong it didn't make sense to Roxy.

"She's a stunner" Glenda smiled standing in the doorway

"I don't want to speak to you" Roxy sighed

"Well you're going to young lady, now sit down and shut up" Glenda scolded

Roxy looked at her surprised, but instinctively did as she was told. Glenda was a little taken aback by Roxy's obedience and stood silently not knowing quite what to say now.

"How could you leave us?" Roxy asked breaking the silence

"I had to... That man beat me down, destroyed my soul and he was destroying you and Veronica as well. I couldn't watch another of my children have the life sucked out of them by that man. He made me feel worthless, flaunting his other women in my face... If I didn't leave he'd grind me down to nothing" Glenda tried to explain

"I get why you left, I understand that. The part I don't understand is why you left us?!" Roxy shouted

"Do you really think I could have taken his daughters away and lived? I tried so hard to keep in contact with you girls but he wouldn't let me!" Glenda stressed pleading with Roxy to understand

"It's easy to blame him, isn't it? But at the end of the day you walked away, and now nearly twenty years later you stroll back into our lives and expect us to pick up where we left off? Ask us to embrace a sister we didn't even know existed? It's not going to happen, I will not let you hurt Ronnie, she's been through enough without you adding to her problems" Roxy cried, her body shaking as she released years of anger and frustration at her mother

***

"Well..." Ronnie smiled awkwardly not knowing what to say "You don't looked fazed by any of this"

"It's a lot easier for me, i've always known I had sisters, you've have always been talked about. You two have to deal with seeing mum and learning about me all at once. I wasn't expecting a happy ever after" Rebecca explained

"Roxy will come round, she's just angry at the moment" Ronnie sighed

"What about our dad... Is he still around?" Rebecca questioned

"He's evil and you're better off without him" Ronnie stated simply, her body shuddering at the mention of him "promise me you won't try and find him, promise me"

"I promise" Rebecca agreed, knowing immediately her mother hadn't been lying about Archie Mitchell

"Listen I reckon you guys should just leave alright, I don't need this" Roxy announced walking back into the living room, Glenda following behind clearly frustrated

"Come on mum, where are you two staying?" Ronnie asked taking her mothers arm

"The B&B" Glenda replied her eyes begging Roxy to forgive her but Roxy unwilling to change her mind

"No you're not, grab your stuff and you can stay with me" Ronnie smiled leading Glenda and Rebecca towards the door "Roxy we will talk later!"

"Whatever Ron" Roxy rolled her eyes, pouring a vodka intent on drinking until the pain went away...

**A longer chapter as promised to make up for the tiny one earlier, hope people are still liking this, any suggestions or comments are very welcome :D**


	7. Bad Muffins and Crappy TV

"_These are a bit dry" Archie commented picking at the freshly baked muffin Glenda had presented him with. "Sorry Arch" Glenda smiled, trying to hide her disappointment. "Where's V?" Archie asked sitting down at the kitchen table whilst Glenda cleared away. "Think she's got some afterschool club" Glenda lied not really sure where her daughter was. "Well as long as she's not with the boy again" Archie spat his face visibly disgusted. Roxy ran into the kitchen, kicking off her shoes and grabbing a muffin from the side. "Careful love you don't want to end up looking chubby like your sister" Archie warned with a sly smile. "Oh Archie that's horrible, don't you dare say anything like that to her" Glenda scolded while Roxy tried to suppress a giggle. "What club is your sister at Rox?" Archie asked, panic suddenly filled Glenda praying her daughter would catch on and carry on the lie. "Running" Roxy answered simply giving a small smile to her mother before walking out. "Good that'll shift a couple of pounds" Archie laughed "Right Glen i'm going out" kissing his wife on the cheek before walking out the house. Wonder which woman it is tonight? Glenda thought chucking the rest of the muffins in the bin. It wasn't long before Ronnie slipped in, trying to be inconspicuous. "Don't worry he's out" Glenda smiled "he thinks you were at running club". Ronnie sighed with relief "thanks mum" before walking over to the sink and getting herself a drink of water. "Where were you V?" Glenda asked stroking her daughters arm. "Just walking" Ronnie smiled, she looked tired and nervous and Glenda knew there was something wrong. "Sit down Ronnie" Glenda smiled, Ronnie doing as she was told, "I know there's something up you've being acting weird for weeks, the lack of appetite, you've been really sick... But you're putting on weight not losing it..." Glenda slowed as an idea began to formulate, looking down at her little girl suddenly it was obvious, suddenly it seemed so clear, she wasn't getting fat, far from it the rest of her body was as slight as ever it was just the rounded tummy, the small bump that sat under her school jumper. Ronnie bowed her head realising her mum knew what was going on. "Oh Ronnie you're not" Glenda sighed watching her daughter begin to cry..._

Rebecca blinked open her eyes, taking a few seconds to realise where she was- sleeping on Ronnie's sofa. Pulling herself up she was slightly shocked to see her older sister standing there watching her.

"Scary" she breathed with a smile

"Sorry" Ronnie smiled "just can't get over the fact I have another sister"

"You're not obligated to me, you don't have to be nice to me just because i'm here" Rebecca explained

"I'm not, trust me if I didn't want to get to know you I wouldn't" Ronnie sat down by Rebecca's feet and took another deeper look at her sister

"Roxy hates me..." Rebecca sighed

"Roxy's used to be the baby, the princess. She's probably feeling threatened" Ronnie laughed

Rebecca smiled at her big sister and felt instantly connected, Ronnie was being so kind so loving. For Ronnie it was all about proving to herself that she didn't have to be the ice queen all the time, she'd learnt a lot with what happened with Danielle, she wouldn't push away another member of her family.

"Cup of tea?" Ronnie offered standing up

"Love one" Rebecca smiled, grabbing the remote and switching on some trashy television

"You don't seriously enjoy this stuff" Ronnie laughed pointing at the screen

"This is quality television sis" Rebecca laughed watching Ronnie shake her head as she walked towards the kettle

***

Peggy held Amy as she fed her her bottle, the poor little mite had been screaming and Roxy was passed out in the living room. Whatever had happened yesterday Roxy wasn't taking it well, Peggy wasn't used to seeing Roxy like this, normally it was Ronnie who would drink herself into an oblivion. Handing Amy over to Phil, Peggy went to go and tackle her niece.

"Roxy!" Peggy shook Roxy until she showed signs of life

"Oh go away Auntie Peg" Roxy groaned

"I won't have any of that Roxanne now will you wake up and sort yourself out, this isn't like you. Amy needs you" Peggy complained

"Oh Amy..." Roxy suddenly remembered her parental responsibilities and panicked for a second

"She's up, fed and dressed and with Phil in the kitchen" Peggy explained wrapping an arm around Roxy

"Thanks" Roxy grunted

"Your upset about your mum darling" Peggy noted, stroking back the hair from Roxy's face

"I don't give a damn about her and the sooner she leaves the better" Roxy spat angrily

"Oh darling you don't mean that. Who was that girl with her?" Peggy questioned

"Oh that's the best part, she's my sister" Roxy laughed

"Well that was a well kept secret" Peggy huffed

"Yeah so well kept even dad doesn't know, she's his Peggy" Roxy sighed

At the mention of Archie Peggy tensed up, that was the difficult thing about having Ronnie and Roxy in her life the fact that it always meant there was a tie to Archie. But they were as good as her own and she couldn't bare the thought of them not being around or not having little Amy in her life.

"Well maybe that's for the best" Peggy muttered

"Hmm" Roxy groaned, before getting up and running to the bathroom. At the sound of her niece throwing up Peggy rolled her eyes. Watching as Phil carried Amy into the room, Peggy's face lit up.

"Pleasant start to the morning" Phil grunted, Amy pulling on his shirt

"She's suffering darling" Peggy smiled stroking Amy's hair

Meanwhile Roxy's phone rang for what must have been the tenth time, going to voicemail once again...

"_Roxy pick up the bloody phone, we need to talk" _Ronnie hissed, slamming her phone down.

**The flashback is massive I know but there was so much to fit in. Hope this is good, keep the comments and suggestions coming. I'm having a bit of trouble at the moment because an idea keeps coming back to me but it would be very difficult to pull off and i'm not sure if its really where my story should go so i'm going to have to think about it. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Old Passions

_There was something about the Mitchell boys, all the girls loved them they were charming, suave and just a little bit dangerous. Archie and Eric were the desire of many but they only had eyes for their girls Glenda and Peggy. Eric was the bully boy, Archie was smooth but together they were unstoppable. "It must be nice being married like Eric and Peg" Glenda mused picking at her dinner, "who wants to be tied down?" Archie laughed almost enjoying the hurt in Glenda's eyes, she was young and beautiful but she lacked that ferocity he so desired in his brothers wife. "No way Archie" he could remember Peggy saying as he pressed her up against a wall, knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her, but she wouldn't she wouldn't hurt Eric. "I really love you Archie" Glenda smiled snapping Archie out of his lustful dreaming, "yeah babes me too" Archie smiled. It was at that moment that Eric burst into the room, "mate! mate! Guess what? I'm gunna be a daddy!" Eric's smile lit up the room and Glenda squealed in delight, both of them oblivious to the disappointment in Archie's eyes, but there was no way Archie would let this get him down he had to stay on top... "Well Eric mate looks like it's a double celebration because my lovely Glenda's just agreed to marry me" Archie smiled smugly, Glenda turned round her mouth agape unable to believe what Archie had just said "Oh Archie!" she squealed wrapping her arms around his neck "we're going to be so happy Arch, so happy"._

Walking across the square, Glenda looked around trying to get a sense of her daughters lives.

"Glen" Peggy sighed walking up to her "why are you back?"

"Sorry Peggy, I get how my presence must be pretty irritating especially as you shacked up with my ex husband!" Glenda grunted

"And what a mistake that was" Peggy groaned

"Were you always after him Peg? Were you one of his other women?" Glenda asked, unable to understand how irritated she was getting

"No! Never" Peggy spat, raging now at the accusations

"What happened to us Peg we used to be friends?" Glenda asked

"I find it very difficult being friends with a woman who could so easily walk out on her children. So Archie cheated on you, Eric would get drunk and he'd hit me but did I ever even think about leaving my kids? No!" Peggy judged

"You were always stronger than me Peggy" Glenda sighed walking away.

Peggy didn't try to stop her just watched her make her way back to Ronnie's flat. She felt bad in a way, she remembered the giggly innocent girl that Archie had introduced her to all those years ago, and she remembered the change the clothes, hair and personality. Peggy felt she should have known better but she fell for Archie's charm just as Glenda had.

***

It wasn't a sight he expected to see, his two ex wives conversing in the middle of the square. This wasn't even why he had come to the square... No he had lost something, something important and he was sure it would turn up here eventually... But he couldn't let it distract him because now he had a bigger problem. Glenda stopped outside the flat and lit up a cigarette, dragging deeply she pulled her coat tightly around her.

"Thought I told you, those things will kill you" Archie smiled, trying to keep himself out of view

Glenda dropped her cigarette, a mixture of fear and shock as Archie grabbed her hand and dragged her away.

"I'll scream Arch, I will" Glenda threatened

"Don't do that, i'm not going to hurt you" Archie smiled stroking Glenda's face "you look great darling"

Glenda felt herself blush and scolded herself for letting him make her feel this way.

"Get out of here Archie, those girls hate you" Glenda snapped

"I made a mistake Glen, but you walked out and left me to deal with the whole situation. I messed up and i'm paying for it big time" Archie sighed

She felt Archie come closer, the power, the passion, she couldn't stop herself from kissing him. It was like being nineteen again, nothing that had happened between them seemed to matter, kissing like schoolchildren.

"You have to be kidding me" Roxy screeched, unable to believe what she had just witnessed.

Glenda pushed Archie away abruptly, she couldn't believe how stupid she had been.

"The two of you leave right this minute" Roxy hissed

"Roxy..." Glenda pleaded

"Leave or I tell him" Roxy stated, glaring at her mother and knowing she had the power

"Tell me what?" Archie asked

"Nothing" Glenda panicked

"Go back to the flat, grab your stuff and tell Ronnie you have to go" Roxy threatened "I mean it, you don't and i'll tell him"

Glenda ran off, unable to stop the tears. To protect her daughter from Archie she would have to walk away once again.

"And you, you will leave because you know that you will never be welcome around here" Roxy told her father

"Fine, i'll walk away" Archie smiled, he would make this look easy because he was playing a long game here "but what's your mum hiding from me princess?"

"I learnt a few things from you dad, I won't lose my bargaining tool" Roxy smiled walking away.

***

She wouldn't let Rebecca down again, she wouldn't deny her daughter the chance to get to know her sisters. Roxy had said that she had to leave but she didn't say a thing about Rebecca. Letting herself into the flat, she heard Ronnie and Rebecca laughing at a movie in the living room and knew she was making the right decision. Picking up her bag she wrote a note.

_Look after her Ron, i'm sorry but i'm letting you down again, please don't forget I love you. Mum xx_

**Sorry for no update yesterday but I was working on some later chapters, regarding my big decision i've decided to go ahead and do it... I've even dropped a very subtle hint in this chapter! Apologies for the severe lack of Ronnie in this chapter but I promise she's got a massive storyline coming up. I really hope people are still reading this, its building up to something big! :D**


	9. The Kindness of Strangers

"_I had another bad dream" five year Rebecca cried crawling into bed with her mum. "What happened sweetie, was it a monster?" Glenda asked stroking her daughters hair. "No" Rebecca sniffed burying her head in her mothers shoulder. "What was it honey, what was your dream about?" Glenda asked, worrying at how shaken her little girl was. "I was all alone..." Rebecca frowned looking up at her mum. "Alone?" Glenda questioned. "There was no-one to look after me, I was lost and all alone" Rebecca cried. "Oh princess that will never happen" Glenda assured. "Really?" Rebecca asked. "I will never leave you" Glenda smiled pulling her daughter close. "Never ever" Rebecca grinned back. "Never ever" Glenda giggled kissing her little girls forehead._

"Mums taking a long time" Ronnie noted digging her hand into the share size bag of crisps that sat between her and Rebecca

"Probably sneaking a crafty fag" Rebecca smiled

"Oh god she's still doing that" Ronnie sighed

"She thinks she hides it really well" Rebecca explained

"Oh I know, she used to say she was 'going to check on the plants' and she'd come back ten minutes later and spray half a can of deodorant on and eat her weight in polos" Ronnie remembered

Their giggling was broken by the faint sound of the door clicking and the sisters looked round expecting to see their mother.

"Maybe she's gone straight to the bedroom?" Rebecca suggested

"Oh I bet Roxy's upset her, I better go and talk to her" Ronnie sighed getting up from the sofa and walking towards the spare room.

"Mum" Ronnie called knocking on the door, no response so Ronnie decided to open up and look inside. There was no sign of her but things looked moved... She couldn't see her mums stuff anywhere but she could see the note on the bed...

_Look after her Ron, i'm sorry but i'm letting you down again, please don't forget I love you. Mum xx_

"Oh god mum" Ronnie breathed sitting down on the bed, it felt like being punched in the stomach

"Mum you can't be grumpy because I have just looked in Ronnie's cupboard and she has choccie biscuits so my suggestion is we have a mega binge!" Rebecca laughed walking into the room, seeing Ronnie sat alone she was confused "where is she?"

Ronnie silently handed over the note and watched as Rebecca's heart broke right in front of her. That look of lost bewilderment that she recognised as her own twenty years ago. But rather than cry Rebecca simply walked out of the room. Ronnie followed and watched as her sister proved herself to be a typical Mitchell, pulling out the vodka and downing a couple of shots.

"That won't help" Ronnie sighed

"Help? I don't need help i'm fine" Rebecca lied

"I know what it's like Bec" Ronnie sympathised remembering her own pain

"You were a kid Ronnie, i'm nineteen. Don't worry I won't stick around, i'll head off tomorrow" Rebecca muttered

"Hey I want you to stay. You're not going anywhere" Ronnie insisted placing a hand on her sisters shoulder instantly feeling Rebecca shaking knowing that she was barely holding it together

"Do you think she planned this all along?" Rebecca asked, her voice cracking

"I don't know" Ronnie admitted

"Why can't she just be a mum? Why is she always looking for something else?" Rebecca began to cry

Ronnie felt awkward at first but eventually decided that it was pointless trying to comfort her from afar. Tentatively at first, Ronnie wrapped her arms around her sister and held her close, Rebecca's sobs getting louder and angrier. Ronnie gripped on tightly, she couldn't believe her mother could do this to them again...

***

Roxy watched from the window of the Vic as her mother scuttered away, she couldn't believe that she hadn't taken Rebecca! This wasn't part of the plan Roxy scowled.

***

"Answer your phone and talk to me! I mean it I won't leave another of these stupid messages... After all i've done for you... Please I just want to talk" Archie slammed down his phone. _It can't fall apart, not now..._

***

Roxy had made her way over to Ronnie's flat and pretended to look surprised when Ronnie informed her of their mothers departure. Rebecca hadn't left the spare room for nearly two hours and it was worrying.

"I don't know how to help her Rox" Ronnie admitted

"It's not a big deal Ronnie, she's an adult, not a little kid like we were" Roxy moaned

"Roxy she's a teenager and she's been dumped in a new place with a sister she barely knows. That's a big deal" Ronnie scolded

"Whatever" Roxy muttered, a twinge of guilt reminding her of what she had done

"I'm going out, I need to clear my head" Rebecca smiled, her red eyes telling her sisters that she had been crying

"Don't go too far, don't want you getting lost" Ronnie smiled, rubbing Rebecca's shoulder

Out in the square it just didn't feel far enough away, Rebecca walked towards the tube station and decided she would go somewhere, anywhere and just forget about everything. Walking around for hours, different parts of London not really seeing or feeling anything, trying not to think about her mum and what had happened, trying to hold on to the thought that Ronnie did want her there and she wasn't just going to be holed up with some random women... What would happen next? Would Glenda come back? She didn't know and it hurt to even think about it. Night approached fast. London was a scary place at night, Rebecca knew that much. The little cafe she had shuffled into was almost empty, the only people in there looked scary and Rebecca wished she'd stayed in Walford, wished she was sitting in her sisters living room rather than this place. There was a girl on the table next to hers, looking deeply into a cup of tea, she looked a similar age and was the only friendly face in the whole place. A group of drunk men made there way into the cafe, they were loud and intimidating and Rebecca felt really unsafe in their presence.

"Excuse me? This might sound a little weird but do you mind if I join you?" Bec asked the girl

"Sure" she smiled looking over at the rowdy guys "safety in numbers"

"Exactly" Bec smiled glad that the girl understood and didn't think she was just another lunatic "I'm Rebecca by the way, well Bec for short"

The girl looked up from her tea and smiled nervously "I'm..." she hesitated as if deep in thought "I'm Amy, sorry"

"You look like you had to think about that" Rebecca noted with a smile, she watched as the girl shifted uncomfortably

"Er..." Amy shook her head, running a hand through her blonde hair

"Sorry i'm being intrusive, it's a problem I have." Rebecca laughed "i'm not having a good day"

"What's up? Always fun to confide in a stranger" Amy laughed

"Ooh so many issues to choose from, problems with my mum basically" Rebecca explained

Amy gave her a sympathetic smile, before she was distracted by her phone ringing, she barely glanced at it before hitting the call reject button.

"Avoiding someone? Always fun to confide in a stranger" Rebecca smiled

"Wouldn't want to burden you" Amy sighed, drinking her tea

**I'm saying nothing... ;) **


	10. Chips and Fake ID's

"_Is it scary?" Roxy asked placing a hand on her big sisters ever expanding stomach. Fourteen year old Ronnie nodded but smiled when she felt the familiar flutter of her baby moving. "Was that?!" Roxy gasped pulling her hand away. Ronnie laughed and reached for Roxy's hand putting it back right where the kicking had been. "That is the coolest thing ever" Roxy smiled. "Don't let dad hear you say that!" Ronnie sighed. It wasn't long before Archie appeared standing in the doorway, "Roxy what have I told you, stay in your room" Archie grumbled, he didn't want Roxy supporting her sister he wanted Ronnie to feel alone and desperate because only then would she realise that disobeying her father was not an option. Roxy quickly departed, flashing a smile back at her sister as she went. "I don't want you corrupting my little girl" Archie spat. "I wasn't, dad she was just..." Ronnie started nervously. "Leave it V, look I want you to go and get your stuff together... We're leaving tomorrow" Archie smirked, almost enjoying how scared she looked. "Roxy's coming with us right? It won't just be you and me will it?" Ronnie's voice cracking with emotion as her father stared back at her blankly. "Veronica this is not a holiday, we are getting rid of that thing and I don't want Roxy being a part of that" Archie snapped walking out. Ronnie felt the kicking once again but it was harder than before more aggressive, maybe she knew what was going to happen Ronnie thought rubbing her hands over her stomach, maybe she knew I was going to give her away and she was fighting it. "i'm sorry" she whispered._

"Your accent..." Rebecca noticed "You're not from round here are you?"

"Neither are you from the sound of yours" Amy smiled

"Do you deflect every question or is it just certain ones?" Rebecca challenged, noticing the way that her new friend would never give a straight answer, she was closed off and a bit defensive

"Sorry" Amy blushed, picking at the bowl of chips the two girls were sharing.

They had been talking for over an hour, just stupid things, occasionally details of their lives would slip in but neither was willing to go into too much detail. The drunk guys had been and gone and the cafe was almost deserted now.

"Hey you girls going to finish up anytime soon? It's getting late you know" the guy behind the counter asked with expectant eyes.

"Sure" Amy answered, pulling out her purse she searched for money to pay for the chips and cups of teas

"Nice fake i.d!" Rebecca laughed pulling the card from Amy's purse

"Fake? How do you know it's fake?" Amy stuttered nervously

"I used to work in a club, can spot these bad boys a mile off" Rebecca grinned

"Is it really obvious?" Amy asked looking at the i.d, it had looked real enough when she bought it but now she was beginning to wonder, she handed over the money and the two girls left the cafe walking along towards the tube station.

"Yeah, see you've got a logo missing there and the writing doesn't match up here" Rebecca pointed out

"Damn" Amy cursed, the look of worry obvious

"Hey it's ok, you look old enough, anyone would let you into a club, plus most clubs won't even notice that's fake" Rebecca assured

"I don't care about clubs, do you think it would work for official stuff, documents? I don't know everyday things?" Amy was panicking more now, she kept looking at the i.d and now that Rebecca had pointed out what was wrong it was painfully obvious

"Erm, probably not... Hey what's wrong?" Rebecca asked

"Don't worry" Amy smiled, realising her face was giving too much away

"Anyway, I better get back my sister will be throwing a fit right about now" Rebecca smiled "but you should text me, I have no friends in London yet it would be a great help" Rebecca quickly wrote her number on a scrap of paper and passed it over

"I will, I want to hear the end of that story you were telling me earlier" Amy grinned, walking away

***

Ronnie paced around the house, looking at her watch she noticed it was past midnight now and worry was growing by the second. Rebecca didn't know her way around Walford and she'd just let her wander off, what if she'd gone further afield? Ronnie knew how upset Rebecca was and she had just let her go! Running her hand through her hair, she quickly jumped when she heard a small knock at the door, opening it she saw Rebecca beaming back.

"Alright sis?" Rebecca grinned walking past Ronnie, dumping her coat and bag down.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ronnie asked, worry and anger building up quickly

"Oh I was out and about in London, then I ended up in a cafe, got chatting to someone and time just kind of flew" Rebecca answered

"Meanwhile i've been sat here panicking" Ronnie complained

"I'm a big girl Ron, I can look after myself!" Rebecca laughed, as Ronnie reached out and gave her sister a light whack to the head before laughing herself

"I need sleep" Ronnie complained "i'm going to need it with you around"

Rebecca smiled knowing she didn't need to worry, she may have lost her mother but she still had Ronnie, and Roxy too if she could ever convince her to like her. Walking towards the bedroom she suddenly heard her phone bleep, looking down at the screen she opened up the message that was waiting for her.

_Hey hope your sister wasn't too annoyed! Had an awesome night, reckon we should hit the clubs next time? Amy xx :)_

**Wow the response to the last part was unexpected and much appreciated! I'm not giving away anything yet but I promise it will all become clear very soon... Will hopefully update again tonight**


	11. Found

_She had walked around the Square what seemed like a hundred times and the same faces kept appearing over and over again, she had only been here a couple of hours but she was impatient she had seen every face but not the face she was looking for... She couldn't have changed that much, she couldn't look so different that she wouldn't know her. Suddenly a cold chill passed though her, it was a feeling like no other and when she turned around there she was, walking past talking into a phone she almost looked up, almost met her gaze... Did she feel it as well?_

Nearly three weeks had passed since Glenda had left and Ronnie and Rebecca had settled into quite a comfortable little routine which did more than enrage Roxy who was feeling increasingly pushed out. It was nice for Ronnie to be having fun again, laughing at Rebecca's stupid jokes made her feel better. Rebecca was making little progress with Roxy, stone-faced whenever they met it was barely more than polite. Rebecca had been living it up as well, her cafe acquaintance Amy was becoming a firm friend- going out clubbing and hanging out it was fun. Rebecca would joke that Amy was a vampire, she would never go out during the day she was always busy, always had an excuse and as for getting her anywhere near Walford well that never going to happen "what is there in Walford?... Nothing" she had smiled when Rebecca had invited her round.

"You going out tonight?" Ronnie asked, drying her hair whilst Rebecca flicked through a magazine

"Hmm, yeah me and Amy are heading to some clubs" Rebecca answered

"You know you could come and spend your hard earned money at my club, I might even throw in a couple of free drinks" Ronnie smiled

"Thanks for the offer Ron but Amy's not really a fan of small places" Rebecca rolled her eyes wishing that they could just hang out at R'n'R's for a night.

"She sounds lovely" Ronnie teased

It didn't take Rebecca long to get ready, catching the tube she met Amy outside their regular meeting spot, the cafe. The owner Hassan knew them by name now and would always ask them about where they were off to that night and if he was feeling particularly generous he'd even 'forget' to charge them for a couple of muffins. The night passed uneventfully, getting drunk, dancing with guys just the usual kind of stuff the only weird moment was when the club photographer came round, Rebecca grabbed Amy for a girly snap but Amy seemed to freak out, ducking out of the way Rebecca smiled for the photo on her own.

"I'm going to head outside and get some air, it's crazy in here tonight" Rebecca explained to Amy, Amy nodded she had been quiet ever since the photographer incident

Making her way to the club entrance, Rebecca stood watching a group of drunk girls, laughing as they failed to walk in a straight line. She was about to go in when she noticed a guy watching her.

"Hi" he smiled, he was cute but there was something a little... Unnerving about him, the way he looked at her made her feel uncomfortable and Rebecca decided to make her excuses and leave.

"Sorry got to get inside, my mates waiting for me" Rebecca smiled moving away

"Hey, that's not very nice" the guy scowled pushing her round the corner

"Look i'm really not interested" Rebecca stuttered feeling nervous now as she felt the pressure of his grip around her wrist

The guy continued to stare at her, really stare at her. His piercing blue eyes glaring as he pushed himself against her. She tried to struggle but he just smacked her round the face. Her cheek stung and she let out a little yelp of pain. Clamping his hand over her mouth, he was pushing harder now, groping at her.

"Get the hell away from her!" Amy screamed

The guy was instantly spooked and ran away, dropping Rebecca to the ground there was a sickening thud as her head hit the pavement

"Bec!" Amy screeched, gathering her friend up into her arms

All the noise had finally alerted a bouncer who came running around the corner

"I'll call an ambulance and the police" he grunted "is she alright?"

Bec opened her eyes, relieved to see her friend

"You're ok aren't you yeah?" Amy willed "i've got you"

It wasn't long before they heard sirens, Amy suddenly looked horrified and looked down at her friend.

"I've got to leave you, i'm sorry but I can't be here when the police get here." Amy explained

"But..." Rebecca groaned

"I'm so sorry, please give me a text let me know you're ok" Amy begged "Will you look after her?" Amy asked the bouncer, who nodded moving Rebecca into his lap watching as the mysterious blonde girl ran away just as the ambulance approached...

***

"Where is she?" Ronnie panicked running into the A&E department "where is my sister- Rebecca Mitchell?"

A nurse smiled and brought her to Rebecca, she was sitting up in bed looking more scared than in pain.

"Ronnie!" she smiled when she saw her sister, Ronnie ran over and wrapped her arms protectively around Rebecca

"Sorry to interrupt but I need a quick word with Rebecca" a police officer smiled walking in

She went over all the details, how the guy had approached her, tried to attack her and finally was scared away.

"Right and have you got details for this girl, your friend. I'd like to have a little chat with her and ask her what she saw" the police officer smiled

"No I don't know how to contact her..." Rebecca lied, Ronnie looking at her confused but didn't say anything until the officer had left

"Why didn't you give him your friends number?" Ronnie asked

"She wouldn't want me to" Rebecca sighed

"I don't know if you should be hanging round with people who are afraid to talk to the police. It usually means they're in deep with something" Ronnie complained, stroking her sisters hair

"Ronnie don't" Rebecca warned

"I'm just worried about you" Ronnie explained

"Can we just go home" Rebecca muttered

"I'll go and talk to the doctor" Ronnie smiled

The doctor wanted Rebecca to stay in overnight so she could keep an eye on her but Rebecca continued to protest until the doctor eventually agreed to discharge her on the condition that if she felt any sickness or dizziness she was to come straight back. Ronnie was concerned but decided not to argue, Rebecca looked uncomfortable and shaky and didn't settle until they were back in the flat. It was about two in the morning when Ronnie realised Rebecca was still up, stifling a yawn Ronnie wandered into the living room to see Rebecca staring blankly into space.

"You ok?" Ronnie asked, sitting next to her

"Yeah... Can't sleep" Rebecca explained

"How about I get you a hot chocolate?" Ronnie offered

"Sure" Rebecca smiled

As her sister walked over to the kettle, Rebecca began to explore the room looking through Ronnie's things, looking at pictures... Little things she had yet to do. She reached the shelf with all the pictures, there was her mother proudly holding Ronnie in her arms, Roxy smiling her arm wrapped around Ronnie Rebecca wished her sister could be like that with her. Then there was a photo-frame pushed to the back, partially covered by a picture of Roxy. Rebecca reached out and grabbed it. Looking closely, her heart skipped a beat.

"Amy..." She whispered confused

"What did you say?" Ronnie asked, walking over with a cup of hot chocolate

"Who is this?" Rebecca asked thrusting the picture towards Ronnie

Rebecca watched as Ronnie's shoulders sank and a look of sadness spread across her face.

"That's my daughter Danielle... She died two months ago"

**Thanks for the reviews, it's great to know that people are enjoying this, all your questions and theories always make me smile! I never planned to do this but when I got the idea it wouldn't go away :D**


	12. Breakdown

**I am too nice to you lot, this being my third update today! When I fail my first year of uni I blame all of you... Talking of all of you, mairze gave me the idea of dedicating this but it wouldn't be fair to just dedicate it to you :P So here we go thank you so much to... mairze, eastendersmaniac, smile-with-me, BeckieeEE, ButterCupxO, Werid-O-Ville, x-xKirstyDx-x, NickyWho, thewattsrule, Phoebethe, spatch90, aty, littlebecky, Thebillnut, ForeverChipmunk and Tuff-Enough for reviewing (really hope I didn't miss anyone!) but also thank you to anyone that added me to their alert and anyone thats reading. Right shall I get on with the story... I think so! I really want this to move along because i've got a lovely chapter coming up in a couple of parts time.**

"_Please dad, please just let me keep her a little longer" Ronnie cried, holding her baby close. "Ronnie it's time!" Archie snapped reaching for the baby that lay nestled in his little girls arms. "Dad I don't want to give her away, I can do this I can be a mum I promise" Ronnie sobbed. Archie shuddered, he hated how she was getting to him, snapping out of it he lifted the baby from Ronnie's arms shaking when he heard the scream leave both mother and daughters mouths simultaneously. "Veronica! You are making a scene and you are upsetting her!" Archie snapped trying to soothe the screaming baby in his arms. Ronnie stopped herself from crying, her whole body shaking as she tried to contain the sobs. "You'll make them give it to her, promise me dad" Ronnie cried, dropping the locket into her fathers hand. It was a moment of weakness for Archie, the baby screaming in his arms, his daughter sat in front of him broken. "Yes, but then we'll forget all about this Veronica" Archie sighed. Carrying the baby outside of the room he looked down at the little girl in his arms "I promise you, i'm doing the right thing. She's fourteen" he whispered not sure who he was convincing the baby or himself... _

"What?" Ronnie asked looking at Rebecca who had turned almost a ghostly shade of white

"Nothing" Rebecca stuttered putting the photo back on the shelf

"Hey? What's wrong?" Ronnie asked, not sure why Rebecca looked so freaked out by Danielle

"It's just sad hearing about your daughter that's all" Rebecca lied taking the hot chocolate from Ronnie's hand and sitting down

"Don't go worrying about me, i'm worried about you" Ronnie smiled sitting down

"I'm fine" Rebecca stressed

"We both know that's not true... What happened, what he tried to do...." Ronnie stuttered, trying to be careful not to upset her

"But he didn't did he. I'm fine" Rebecca snapped walking off towards her room

Ronnie sighed, sipping from her mug she walked back over to the photo of Danielle "would it have been this difficult with you baby?" she whispered "Probably worse" she smiled, stroking the picture

Rebecca sat in her room, her whole body shaking. Her mind was confused, her heart beating way too fast. It was impossible wasn't it? Her thoughts were disrupted by the familiar beep of her phone.

_I'm the worst friend in the world! I'm so sorry! Please tell me you're ok?? Amy xx :)_

Rebecca sighed and left her room once again, she just couldn't settle. On the kitchen counter Rebecca spotted Ronnie's phone, it was awful going through it but she had to check something had to look for something... Opening up Ronnie's saved messages she found what she was looking for an old message from Danielle....

_Of course I can work! Will see you at 6. Danielle xx :)_

Ok so it was hardly conclusive evidence but it was yet another clue that linked 'Danielle' with the mysterious Amy. How could she piece together everything? First she need to reply to Amy's text.

_I'm ok, my head is killing me. What are you running from?? Bec xxx_

_Who says i'm running? Amy xx :)_

_Scarpering the moment the police arrived! Fake i.d! Who are you? Bec xxx_

_I'm your friend... Amy xx :)_

_Then come and visit me. Come to the flat tomorrow. Bec xxx_

_Where abouts in Walford do you live? Amy xx :)_

_89 George Street. Bec xxx_

The steady stream of texts had stopped, Rebecca thought it would, she didn't know what to do now though. It was almost an hour spent staring at her phone before it bleeped a response.

_I can't. Amy xx :)_

Rebecca sighed, leaning back into the sofa she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep but all she kept seeing was the piercing blue eyes of her attacker mixed up images of Amy... Danielle... Whoever she was.

Almost a week passed, Rebecca walked around like a zombie, barely sleeping. Ronnie constantly worried, trying to look after her but noticing how Rebecca could hardly even look her in they eyes. Ronnie had even tried ringing her mums mobile but all she got was the voicemail.

"We could go for a walk" Ronnie suggested

"Can't be bothered" Rebecca sighed, flicking through the channels. Really it was because when she had tried to go outside earlier in the week, desperate to find Amy and talk to her, she had frozen the minute she set foot out of the door. Her whole body had begun to shake and she felt sick. It was stupid she told herself, but she only felt safe wrapped up in the flat. Instead she decided to take the opportunity to gather more information, to ask Ronnie questions.

"When did you find out Danielle had died?" Rebecca asked, trying to act subtle but feeling as if her face was giving away every detail

"Found out? I was there, she died in my arms" Ronnie frowned

It didn't make sense! Rebecca's mind screamed, it couldn't be her it just couldn't.

"Oh..." Rebecca replied not knowing what to ask next

"What's going on? What's with the questions?" Ronnie asked

"There's no way she's still alive?" Rebecca gasped, shocked that she'd let it slip out of her mouth.

Ronnie looked at her mouth agape and eyes wide.

"No! Why... Why would you ask? I identified her body, I watched her coffin go into the ground" Ronnie stuttered utterly shocked at Rebecca's questioning

"Are you sure?" Rebecca pursued

Ronnie lept up, shaking with anger now, what kind of sick game was her sister playing?

"What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?!" Ronnie shouted

"Ronnie i'm sorry! Please don't hate me!" Rebecca begged "Ronnie she's alive, I know she's alive... She's my friend... My friend Amy i'm sure of it!"

Ronnie stood on the spot absolutely horrified, she reached out and slapped Rebecca round the face.

"How dare you!" She spat

**Ouch! **


	13. The Pros and Cons of Breathing

"_Why do you and Ronnie argue so much?" Roxy asked burying her head into her fathers shoulder cuddling up close to him. "Why do YOU and Ronnie argue so much?" Archie challenged back stroking his daughters face. "She's a bit difficult isn't she?" Roxy giggled. "That's an understatement" Archie grinned. "I'm glad we've got you dad" Roxy smiled. "I'll never leave you darling, not like your mother" Archie replied. Ronnie stood in the doorway watching the tender scene, hatred boiling through her. She had to get Roxy away and soon..._

"Ronnie!" Rebecca shouted, banging on her bedroom door "Ronnie please talk to me!"

Silence.

"Ronnie!" Rebecca shouted, getting worried now.

Suddenly the door flew open and an angry and clearly distressed Ronnie flew out of the door.

"Get out!" She hissed pushing Rebecca towards the door

"Ronnie please" Rebecca begged, feeling her heart beating faster

"GET OUT!" Ronnie screaming, flinging open the front door and pushing Rebecca as hard as she could.

It was terrible, Rebecca felt like the world was closing in on her. The noises of outside, the people the sound of cars and the incessant chatter. She couldn't even think about what had happened with Ronnie all she could think of was being outside and how much it scared her. It wasn't even rational but her breathing got faster, she was clearly panicking and Ronnie didn't know what to do, torn between being furious and protecting her sister.

"Bec..." She murmured, looking down at her sister who was holding her head in her hands, shaking and struggling to breathe.

"I can't... I can't..." Rebecca struggled

"What the hell is going on Ron?" Roxy asked running towards them

Ronnie felt the anger start to subside, instead panic filled her and she ran down the steps putting a hand on Rebecca's shoulder. Rebecca flinched at the touch, the piercing blue eyes of her attacker were flashing in her mind.

"Help me get her in Rox" Ronnie worried, the pair helped to lift her up and take her inside. There were a couple of passers by watching, disapproving.

***

Archie watched from a distance, he didn't understand what was going on. He hated being clueless but he couldn't get any closer, couldn't find out what had happened, who the girl was...

***

Rebecca's heart wouldn't stop thumping it was unbelievably fast she thought she was going to die.

"Bec please" Ronnie begged, getting upset now as she watched her sister writhing almost as if she was in pain.

"Ronnie what do we do? What do we do?!" Roxy freaked out

"Breathe! Come on Bec nice and slow come on breathe with me" Ronnie begged

She was gently calming Bec down, stroking away her hair from her face and trying to hold her tight. Roxy stood barely able to watch, not knowing what to do or say. It wasn't long before Rebecca was calm again, lying in Ronnie's arms, Ronnie continued to stroke her hair. Roxy breathed a sigh of relief leaning her own head on Ronnie's shoulder the three sisters sat in complete silence just the sound of their breathing. It was an almost perfect scene if you forgot about everything bad that had happened and all the problems that existed between them. The three girls huddled together on Ronnie's floor, not needing to say anything.

An hour later and Rebecca was sleeping, curled up like a small child blissfully unaware of the worry and concern in the next room that was occuring whilst Ronnie and Roxy poured themselves a shot of vodka.

"What the hell was that Ron?" Roxy asked, downing her shot

"Panic attack I think... I knew she wasn't right after the attack but I forced her outside" Ronnie sighed

"Attack?" Roxy questioned

"She went out to a club with a friend" Ronnie recoiled as she thought about who Rebecca claimed that friend to be "some guy started hassling her, he tried to... He tried to..." Ronnie couldn't say it, the thought made her feel sick

"Oh my god" Roxy gasped

"She won't go outside but I didn't realise it was that bad Rox" Ronnie admitted

"What the hell were you two arguing about?! It looked pretty major" Roxy noticed

"Nothing important..." Ronnie lied, it wasn't the time to tell Roxy

"Don't lie to me Ronnie" Roxy complained looking at how hurt her sister looked

"Forget it Roxy, we just need to be there for our sister, both of us" Ronnie demanded

"I don't know if I can..." Roxy muttered

"It's not her fault Rox, Mum walking out was her decision... Roxy I was supposed to look after her and I let her go out and get attacked and then I throw her out when I know she's completely freaked out going outside" Ronnie cursed herself

"This isn't your fault Ronnie, you don't need this stress" Roxy soothed

***

Roxy didn't hang around much longer, it was all a bit too weird, a bit too much to deal with. She was worried about Ronnie, worried that Ronnie was taking on too much, she was so fragile.

Ronnie padded silently into Rebecca's room, sitting on the corner of the bed she didn't know what to say. It was about five minutes before Rebecca blinked open her eyes, looking at Ronnie, trying to read what she was thinking and feeling.

"Ronnie..." Rebecca croaked, looking up at Ronnie and hoping that everything was going to be ok

"I'm sorry" Ronnie sighed, moving closer to Rebecca now, her anger truely slipping away.

"No I am" Rebecca replied, pulling herself up almost face to face with Ronnie now.

"I just don't get why you said it" Ronnie admitted, a look of hurt on her face

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't believe it" Rebecca insisted

"But you're wrong. You have to be wrong" Ronnie muttered, her head hanging, her eyes screaming with pain

"What if i'm not?" Rebecca challenged

Rebecca picked up her phone and typed up a text

_Amy meet me in the cafe at 7, so we can talk. Bec xxx_

_See you then. Amy xx :)_

The response was almost instant, as if Amy was waiting for her.

"What have you done?" Ronnie asked, puzzled

"She thinks she's meeting me at 7 but instead you'll be there" Rebecca explained

"Bec i'm not going to... I can't" Ronnie insisted

"7 'o'clock... You'll know one way or the other Ron" Rebecca sighed

**Well I guess we'll know one way or the other soon as well... Not long to wait now.**

**Thanks for the reviews, you lot are truely the best!**


	14. Today I Live Again

"_Danielle! Danielle!" Ronnie screamed chasing after her daughter, she had passed the Argee Bargee and now she was heading towards the tube station. Danielle didn't want to turn around she wanted to keep running but there was something different about Ronnie's voice, she wasn't just here for another arguement. Maybe... Danielle turned around and saw a sight she never thought she'd see, Ronnie with the warmest kindest smile and it was directed at her. "Baby..." Ronnie uttered her eyes telling Danielle that she believed her she truely believed her. Danielle breathed the biggest sigh of relief, Ronnie knew and she wanted her, she called her baby... Danielle stepped out, this was it this was the moment she'd been desperate for finally, finally they could be together. It was the look of horror on Ronnie's face that first alerted Danielle, she turned to see herself bathed in headlights, like a star on the stage she was illuminated. She couldn't move, her legs felt like stone, her brain was confused with everything that had happened and it hit her. Her body flew up and all she could hear was Ronnie's sickening scream... This is it, Danielle thought, this is the end..._

Ronnie sat waiting in the cafe, every logical fiber of her being longing her to get up and leave but that flicker of hope keeping her pinned to her seat. Five to Seven, the clock was moving slower than ever it seemed, stirring her tea Ronnie felt her heart beating faster and faster... She wouldn't be angry at Rebecca for being wrong she decided, no it wasn't her fault... They had argued enough about this and it was better just to call it a mistake and forget about it. The creak of the door which she had heard many times in the last half an hour alerted her once again and finally it was time... It was like slow motion, indescribable as hope was rewarded and Danielle walked in, but she didn't see Ronnie straight away, she was looking for Rebecca. Ronnie watched gobsmacked, it was definately her. Ronnie stood to alert Danielle to her presence, her entire body shaking, and their eyes met... Just like the night of the accident when they truely saw each other for the first time the connection was undeniable. It crackled like electricity throughout the room, but after what seemed like a lifetime of staring Danielle finally turned round and darted towards the door. Ronnie quickly followed, chucking a handful of change down on the counter she ran towards that door like her life depended on it... In a way it did.

"Danielle!" she called watching as her daughter walked away, refusing to acknowledge her. Desperation welled up inside Ronnie she had to do something now "you do not get to walk away from me!"

At this Danielle finally faced her mother, a look of surprise and anger shot at Ronnie. "Why? You did it to me enough times!" she screamed turning away once again. She wasn't really angry with Ronnie she was scared and she needed to get away fast.

Ronnie chased her, catching up she grabbed Danielle's arm. It was as if this simple act of touching, the connection between mother and daughter made the rest of the world seem insignificant. Their eyes met once again and Danielle couldn't fight it anymore, it didn't matter that her brain was telling her to run, the potential trouble being reunited with her mother could cause... The pair crashed into each other, a desperate hug, like they were clinging for their lives, breathing each other in nothing would ever matter again.

"Please don't leave me" Ronnie sobbed

Danielle pulled back slightly to look at the woman in front of her, her mother, Ronnie the ice queen had melted away and here stood a nervous looking fourteen year old girl desperate for her baby to love her.

"We have a lot to talk about" Danielle sniffed wiping away a tear from her mothers cheek, Ronnie mirrored the gesture doing the same to Danielle. It was such a simple act but the significance was massive. It put this whole new pressure on them.

Sitting back down in the cafe once again, Hassan tried to work out what was going on between Amy and the older woman, he also hoped there would be no trouble, especially after the older one had chased Amy out. But they seemed calmer when they returned, they were holding hands now and talking intensely. He turned around and busied himself with some washing up.

Ronnie continued to stare at her daughter, taking in every detail just incase this wasn't real just incase she was about to wake up and it had all been a dream. Danielle felt uncomfortable and bowed her head to show this. Ronnie instantly quit her glare and decided to try talking again.

"How..." was all Ronnie could stutter

"I was resuscitated in the ambulance, apparently my leg twitched scared the hell out of the paramedic and they decided to try again. But when I got to the hospital I was unlucky enough to be admitted at almost the exact same time as another girl, there were people everywhere that night, there'd been a coach crash and the hospital was full of people and their loved ones. In the chaos somehow our details got mixed up, she was dead Danielle Jones and I was in a coma but with someone else's name..." Danielle began to explain

"Ok... but that doesn't explain how me and your dad id'd your body, it was you I know it was you" Ronnie challenged

"That night after Phil kicked Archie out of the pub Archie decided he needed to go to the hospital and see my body, don't ask me his motivation, in some sick way I think part of him cares... He asked to see his granddaughter who had died and they took him to see 'Danielle Jones' when they pulled back the sheet he realised that something had happened, a mix up. He checked out round the hospital and after some asking around he found me, alive and under someone else's name. He paid off a couple of porters, got them to move me into a van he had waiting and got the details of the morgue 'Danielle Jones' was sent to. More money was exchanged, the guys in the morgue were paid hefty amounts to put comatose me on the slab, remember how they wouldn't let you past the glass? Then they swapped us back over once you and dad had left. The body sealed in the coffin the one that was buried is her." Danielle explained further

"This doesn't even make sense, it's like some kind of horror movie" Ronnie whispered, every rational bone in her body screamed that his was dream, these kind of things didn't really happen.

"Archie had a lot of connections, people that will do things for him at the drop of a hat and it didn't take long to employ a nurse and get suitable medical equipment into his house in Weymouth. God knows how I survived but I did. Archie continued to play his part in the Square to make sure no one connected him with what was happening. When I woke up nearly a month later I had Archie by my side and I wasn't strong enough to fight it, I let him look after me because i needed to survive. It took another month or so before I had the strength to start putting my plan into action, I watched him, worked out how to get the amount of money I needed and eventually made my escape. I've been living around London ever since, hostels. B&B's wherever, being in London I was close enough to you but I couldn't get closer. I still can't Ronnie because he's looking for me and he'll be expecting me to go to you." Danielle started to cry the thought of never being able to get her life back always being on the run

"Baby, everything will be ok" Ronnie soothed, stroking the hair from her daughters face

"I've never felt so alone, so lost and then I met Rebecca and I finally had a friend someone who I could share things with... I don't understand how she got in contact with you though, is she living with you? I thought she was living with her sister?..." Danielle questioned puzzled at the connection between her mother and her mysterious friend

"Rebecca is my sister" Ronnie smiled "when my mum left all those years ago she was pregnant, i've only recently found out about her but she's been living with me, the night she met you here she'd taken off because mum left, leaving a note only to say that I would look after her and she was pretty upset. Afterwards with the attack and everything she became really reclusive, I still can't get her to leave the house but she was always texting her mysterious friend Amy" Ronnie explained

Danielle blushed hearing her alias spoken out loud.

"Well she then spotted the photo I had of you in my flat and she put the pieces together, when she told me you were alive I didn't believe her that's why she set up this meeting so that I could see that you really were ok" Ronnie smiled

Danielle blushed further as she heard that Ronnie had a photo of her, that and going to identify her body and the way Rebecca had talked about her sister being on the 'edge of a breakdown' it began to occur to Danielle that Ronnie really did care and it took her by surprise.

"Come home with me" Ronnie smiled

"How can I?" Danielle asked puzzled as to how they would explain her sudden reappearance

"It'll mean you having to stay inside until we get this all sorted but if you're with me I know you're safe" Ronnie explained

"Ok" Danielle found herself agreeing, to be perfectly honest Danielle would have agreed with anything Ronnie said right at the minute, everything about Ronnie sounded so perfect,

It didn't take long to gather Danielle's stuff from the B&B she was staying at, dressing Danielle in an oversized hoody they made their way back to Walford, Danielle's hood always up and her face always down. Ronnie held her hand all the way. It wasn't a long walk from the tube station to Ronnie's flat but it felt like an obstacle course, the cover of darkness helped and it didn't take long before they reached the door.

"Alright Ronnie?" Roxy's voice cut through the night silence

Ronnie shoved the door in the lock and turned it quickly, shoving Danielle inside she turned around quickly to face her sister

"Hey" Ronnie breathed nervously

"That Rebecca?" Roxy asked

"Yeah" Ronnie lied, glad she had the convenient cover of a younger sister

"Oh well nice of her to run inside and not say hello" Roxy moaned

"Well you've hardly been nice to her Rox, I better go check she's ok" Ronnie smiled desperate to get rid of Roxy

"Well i'm glad I came over to check on you, wasted journey hey?" Roxy whined walking away

Ronnie finally made her way through the front door to see her daughter leaning against the wall stifling a giggle, the cheeky smile on her face made Ronnie's heart swell with pride. Walking into the living room, Rebecca turned around to see two people that looked like they'd won the lottery.

"Hey!" Rebecca grinned standing up, Danielle ran over and wrapped her arms around her, Ronnie watched realizing how much their friendship had meant to them.

"I can't believe you tricked me" Danielle teased

"Oh right and you've always been completely honest with me... Amy" Rebecca joked back

"Well technically that wasn't a lie, its my birth name" Danielle smiled

"I won't have any technicalities in this household, i'm your aunt you need to respect me" Rebecca grinned

"What even though i'm older than you?" Danielle quizzed

"Age doesn't usurp my position of authority" Rebecca teased

"Alright you two!" Ronnie interrupted

"Sorry I should leave you two alone, let you talk, but i'm going to need to sleep on the sofa so you guys better go" Rebecca began

"I'm not kicking you out of your room Bec" Danielle sighed "I'll take the sofa"

"No you won't i'll sleep on the sofa, Bec you're in your room and Dani will take my bed" Ronnie finished finalizing everything

"Night then" Rebecca smiled, giving her friend another hug and kissing her sisters cheek she was so glad that they were happy

"You want to sleep straight away?" Ronnie questioned

"I'd rather talk..." Danielle smiled

**This chapter has been in my head for soooo long and it's been written for days just bursting to get out, only problem with having a chapter that long is I keep adding to it which will explain why it's so incredibly long! I know some of its a little hard to believe but I tell you it's a really big struggle to bring back someone from the dead! Hope you're still enjoying this. **


	15. Thoughts Before Me

"Come on lets get you changed and comfortable first" Ronnie smiled

"I don't think I have anything clean" Danielle admitted slightly embarrassed

Ronnie smiled, walked into her room and came back with her softest, girliest pajamas.

"Will these do?" Ronnie asked

"Thanks" Danielle smiled

"Use my room to get changed" Ronnie offered

Ronnie hated how difficult conversation was. Running her hand through her hair she tried to push the intense feeling of tiredness away. Ten minutes passed and Ronnie decided to go and check on Danielle, knocking tentatively on the door she gently pushed the door open when she received no response. Ronnie couldn't help but smile when she saw her beautiful little girl sleeping curled up on the bed.

"I knew you were exhausted" Ronnie whispered, pulling the duvet over Danielle, tucking her in felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Ronnie made her way over to the door but then stopped. She couldn't bare to be even a room away from her daughter, creeping over to the bed she laid down next to Danielle. All she could do was watch Danielle sleep.

An hour passed and Danielle awoke, she couldn't believe she had fallen asleep she had wanted to talk to Ronnie. Turning over she saw Ronnie fast asleep next to her and smiled. Now it was Danielle's turn to watch Ronnie sleep.

It wasn't till around two in the morning that both girls found themselves awake, an awkward smile passed between them. Ronnie pulled herself up leaning against the headboard as Danielle snuggled into her mother, she didn't care if she was crossing the boundaries of their new relationship she just wanted to be close to Ronnie.

"Tell me about when you found out you were pregnant..." Danielle started, wanting to gather as much information as she could

"At first I thought I had a bug..." Ronnie started

_Ronnie couldn't believe she'd been sick again, she wiped her mouth and leaned her head back against the toilet wall. Her forehead felt clammy, maybe she really was ill... Letting her head fall slightly her eyes were drawn to the basket on the floor that contained sanitary towels and a thought suddenly occured to her... When was the last time she'd had a period?_

"Well I was really worrying now, I decided to head out and get myself a pregnancy test. I was very determined they wouldn't know it was for me though..."

_Ronnie clutched the note she'd written in her neatest most adult handwriting and decided to play the innocent little girl. Walking up to the counter she smiled at the shop assistant. "Excuse me, my mum sent me to get her one of these. Do you know what it is?" Ronnie asked trying to look as naive as possible. "Er... Oh yes dear hang on" the assistant scurried away returning with the box which she quickly placed into a paper bag "now don't you go looking i'm sure your mum would want to keep this a secret" the assistant smiled. Ronnie assured her that she wouldn't look and handed over the money. As soon as she was out of the shop she ran to the nearest shopping centre. Quickly locating the public toilets she locked herself in the cubicle and looked at the instructions._

"So there I was taking a pregnancy test... I was in that cubicle for over an hour" Ronnie giggled slightly

"They only take ten minutes" Danielle laughed

"I was too scared to look" Ronnie admitted

_Ronnie reached over to the pregnancy test, finally she had the courage to the look at the result. There it was... Positive... Ronnie dropped the little white stick on the floor and turned round promptly throwing up in the toilet. "Oh I am in so much trouble" she muttered._

"I came home, locked myself in my room, lifted up my jumper and tried to see if I could see a difference. Nothing no bump or anything. It wasn't long though..."

_Jumpers worked quite well, nothing tight, nothing revealing. "Alright piggy piggy" Roxy laughed. "What?" Ronnie panicked, had Roxy noticed something? "Dad reckons you're getting fat" Roxy teased. "Shut up Rox" Ronnie growled walking away. Locking the door to her room once again she lifted up her jumper and saw this time she had quite a bump... Then all of a sudden she felt the weirdest sensation, she almost jumped out of her skin as she felt the fluttering sensation in her stomach._

"It was the first time I felt you, it was like nothing i'd ever felt before. You know it didn't even matter that I was terrified because you were real, you were mine..."

_Glenda kept looking at her daughter, she was crying and Glenda didn't know whether to shout or comfort her. "Mum..." Ronnie sobbed. "Baby it's going to be ok" Glenda promised, Archie would shout enough for both of them, she decided she would be the one to support her daughter._

"Well you can just imagine how my dad reacted..."

_Ronnie laid in bed, her hands holding on to her stomach. She loved the time just after she'd woken up in the morning where she'd lay warm and comfortable, just her and her baby. She flinched as she heard the raised voices downstairs, feeling sick she knew what they were arguing about. The thundering sound of footsteps that approached her room terrified her. Archie crashed through the door and strode over to her, ripping back the duvet he saw for the first time his daughters bump. "You stupid little girl!" he spat walking right back out. Ronnie looked up to see Archie leave and Roxy take his place in the doorway "bloody hell Ron.."_

"What about my father, my biological father... What did he say?" Danielle croaked nervously

Ronnie looked down at her slightly in shock at the mention of Joel but proceeded anyway

"Well actually I told him before mum and dad..."

"_It had the most amazing ending I have ever seen in a film, I mean you'd of hated it Ron but it was just perfect" Joel laughed. Ronnie sat perched on the end of his bed she'd barely said a word since she'd arrived but Joel had talked enough for the both of them. "Oh sorry Ron i'm going on and on, but I haven't seen you in weeks we have so much catching up to do" he smiled, his goofy smile that perfectly complimented the smiling brown eyes. Ronnie still didn't speak. "Ron what's up? You're not going to break up with me are you?" Joel panicked sitting down next to Ronnie he pulled her hand into his. "No" Ronnie sighed "Joel i'm pregnant" she rushed the words out her mouth and watched as his face turned an unbelievable shade of white. "Have you told your parents?" Joel gulped. "I think you'd know if i'd told my dad" Ronnie tried to smile, desperate to lighten the mood. "Oh he's going to kill me Ron" Joel panicked. "Joel! Can you stop thinking about my bloody dad for one minute!" Ronnie snapped. "I'm going to be a dad" Joel whispered, his eyes widening. "Do you want me to leave?" Ronnie asked nervously. Joel continued to stare at Ronnie, watching as she started to get up, he pulled her back down and turned to face her, taking her face in his hands he kissed her with an intense passion. "I love you Ronnie... We're going to have a baby" he smiled, Ronnie could see he was petrified but he was trying to hard and she felt so safe._

"Wow, that was unexpected" Danielle admitted, expecting to have heard a tale of a boy running as far as he could

"I'm not saying we'd have been perfect, or that we'd have worked but we wanted to Danni, we really wanted to..."

"_No! No way are you keeping this baby! Veronica you are fourteen years old there is no way in hell I will let you ruin your life and this kids life! It's all sorted, the adoptions all ready to go through" Archie shouted_

"I remember holding you in my arms..." Ronnie smiled

_Ronnie's arms didn't feel big enough to hold this little baby but she clutched on tightly, tracing a finger along every detail of her little Amy. "I love you so much, i'm sorry, so sorry that they're going to make me give you away. But your new mummy and daddy will love you very much and one day I will find you baby girl. They won't be able to keep us apart then. Because I love you, more than anything in the world" _

"And I do, I love you more than anything else in this entire world" Ronnie promised

"We can't just forget everything that happened between us before..." Danielle began

"I know" Ronnie sighed, holding Danielle even closer "I should have known who you were, I knew there was something weird about you... I just couldn't place it"

"I should have told you" Danielle admitted

"We've wasted so much time... Lets not waste anymore" Ronnie whispered, yawning as her eyelids felt heavier and heavier. It wasn't long before the pair of them were fast asleep.

Danielle's bag lay on the floor, her mobile hanging out and the screen alight as it silently buzzed away _Incoming Call- Grandad..._

**I am so unbelievably glad you liked the reveal and the explanation as to how Danielle could possibly be alive, as I said before it was unbelievably difficult but it's worth it to have lovely R&D moments! You may notice the usual flashback beginning is missing from this chapter, I decided it wasn't necessary as there is so much flashback throughout the chapter. I didn't want to just have Ronnie talk about everything and thought it worked better showing you what happened. **


	16. Not What It Seems

"_Do you reckon it's a boy or a girl?" Joel asked lying back on the bed, his hand nestled on top of Ronnie's bump. "Does it matter?" Ronnie asked, the disappointment and hurt in her voice apparent. "You don't have to give her away Ronnie" Joel sighed. "Oh so it's a 'her' now?" Ronnie smiled. "I reckon so" Joel grinned. If things could stay like this they'd be perfect Ronnie thought, but looking at her watch she was reminded that they weren't..."I've got to go, if dad finds out i'm here he'll go mental" Joel scowled, rubbing at his black eye "Yeah I know all about your dad going mental"_

Ronnie blinked awake, thoughts of last night rushing back to her, thoughts of Joel rushing back to her... She turned round expecting to see Danielle laying next to her but she wasn't there... An empty space... Ronnie panicked sitting up she worried about whether she'd just had the most vivid dream of her life but the sound of giggling from the living room instantly eased her mind. Walking into the room she stood at the doorway watching Danielle and Rebecca curled up on the sofa, sharing a duvet watching what looked like a programme meant for four year olds.

"Hey" Ronnie smiled, acknowledging the pair

Danielle looked up and smiled at Ronnie, the smile that made Ronnie's heart feel like it would leap out of her chest.

"Hey sleepyhead! You're missing In The Night Garden" Rebecca laughed

"What's an In The Night Garden?" Ronnie asked slightly confused

Danielle pointed towards the TV and smiled.

"Oh and here was me thinking i'd missed out on the CBeebies stage" Ronnie laughed kissing the top of Danielle's head and moving over to the kettle "Drink, you two?"

"Love one" Rebecca called

"Yes please" Danielle blushed, still feeling slightly awkward

"See now if you ask me that is definately rude!" Rebecca noted

"It's not supposed to be rude it's meant for little kids" Danielle smiled nudging Rebecca

Ronnie looked over at the playful scene, it made her feel so completely content like nothing could ever be this good again.

"You two are going to go insane in this flat" Ronnie sighed handing over the two steaming mugs of tea

"Well there Ronnie you are wrong, armed with my handy tv guide I have a complete day planned" Rebecca grinned

"Ok correction, Danielle you are going to go insane in this flat, especially cooped up with Miss couch potato all day"

"I'll be fine, stop worrying" Danielle assured

Ronnie smiled, but she noticed how much cooler Danielle was being today. Maybe she had rushed things last night, too desperate to forge a relationship with her daughter. After an awkward silence, Ronnie made a swift exit, making an excuse about having to work. Once the girls heard the front door shut, Rebecca pressed the mute button on the remote.

"Alright spill, whats with the awkwardness" Rebecca asked

"I was watching that" Danielle complained

Rebecca ignored her, continuing to glare at her in a knowing way.

"There's a lot of bad history between me and Ronnie, last night was so perfect but it feels like we're papering over the cracks" Danielle explained

"Maybe you need to say to tell Ronnie that" Rebecca smiled

"I don't want to push her away, i've only just got her back" Danielle sighed

"She'll never let you go, surely you can see that" Rebecca assured "So what's the plan regarding the whole 'you being dead' situation?"

"Granddad can't be far behind... He must know i'd end up here eventually" Danielle explained

"What's he like? Really..." Rebecca asked, everytime she'd tried to get information out of Ronnie she'd turned to stone and refused to talk about him. It was a curiosity that wouldn't go away, no matter how bad everyone said he was.

"He's done a lot of bad things but he does care... In his own weird way" Danielle started

Rebecca could hardly believe how calm Danielle was when talking about Archie. Danielle noticed the look of surprise on Rebecca's face quickly shut up.

"I'm just going to the loo" Danielle smiled, walking away

Danielle walked into Ronnie's room and picked up her bag, looking at her phone she noticed all the missed calls. Hitting the redial button she waited patiently.

"Granddad..." She started

***

Rebecca creeped along silently, listening outside the door.

"_Granddad please... I promise i'll get her to come around you just need to give me time... Granddad!"_

Rebecca gulped, and moved away quickly. What was going on? Danielle was supposed to be on the run from Archie yet there she was chatting to him on the phone...

**Ok don't kill me, you have to remember that Archie is a very manipulative guy and he's been with Danielle for over a month being the only person she's had looking after her, so she's not quite what she seems... This doesn't mean there won't be R&D cuteness! You're just going to have to trust me :D**


	17. I Will Run To You And From You

"Hey you" Roxy smiled walking into the Ronnie's office "feeling talkative today?"

"Sorry Rox, just having a bit of difficult time at the moment" Ronnie smiled

"Rebecca" Roxy groaned

"Will you just stop it Rox! This jealousy or whatever it is, you're not twelve years old" Ronnie complained

Roxy stood pouting, annoyed that Ronnie had told her off.

"Have you considered that us all getting along would be loads better?" Ronnie smiled, trying to avoid an arguement with Roxy

"Well how about I pop over later? I'll bring chocolate and we'll have sister time" Roxy sighed

"No" Ronnie panicked, damn it, she hated causing problems but Roxy couldn't come round with Danielle there. "Sorry Rox, another night though"

"Oh whatever Ron" Roxy hissed, turning round and walking right out of the office.

Roxy will understand, Ronnie assured herself. Getting on with her work, desperate to get home.

***

"Get lost did you?" Rebecca challenged watching Danielle come out of Ronnie's room.

"Drop it Bec" Danielle warned

"Tell me what's going on" Rebecca begged grabbing onto Danielle's hand.

"Just let me sort it! Alright?!" Danielle snapped pulling her hand away

Rebecca stood, shocked and slightly angry. Danielle knew she had to lighten the mood.

"Oh come on Bec you promised me a hardcore day of bad tv" Danielle giggled

Rebecca tried not to laugh, trying to keep her stern face but the minute Danielle pulled a stupid face Rebecca was in fits of laughter.

***

"You alright Ronnie?" Max asked watching a puzzled looking Ronnie in the Minute Mart

"What do teenage girls eat?" Ronnie asked with a bemused smile

"They are regular human beings like the rest of us Ron, i'd say she'll have whatever you're having" Max laughed

"Oh I just want to make things special for her first proper meal..." Ronnie trailed

"She's been with you for weeks Ronnie, are you saying you've yet to feed her?" Max asked

Ronnie suddenly realised she'd been talking about Danielle and quickly tried to cover her tracks.

"Oh yeah, yeah I meant like... Oh I don't know what I meant" Ronnie laughed nervously

"Are you coping alright Ron... I mean it hasn't been that long since... Well, you know what I mean" Max smiled

"I'm fine Max, if anything i'm happier than i've been in a long time" Ronnie admitted

"That's great, you look good when you smile" Max winked walking out of the shop

"Careful Branning!" She laughed, grabbing onto as much junk food as she could manage

***

Danielle was running around the living room with the remote, Rebecca chasing after her the two of them laughing and shrieking. Rebecca jumped onto Danielle's back.

"Oh get off me!" Danielle laughed

Ronnie walked in the room, stopping when she saw the mess that had collected all around her flat. The two girls paused, Rebecca still on Danielle's back the laughter suddenly stopped and they waited for Ronnie's response.

"Chuck it here" Ronnie laughed, running off with the remote climbing on the sofa.

"Oh great, gang up on me why don't you" Rebecca squealed wrestling Ronnie to the ground, whilst Danielle burst out laughing at the sight.

***

"_Danielle I don't like leaving messages you know this! Look I need you to ring me! You have to get rid of that girl and fast. We'll be a family Dani but you need to do as I say... Granddad misses you Dani..." _

***

"...So anyway I was stood there doing this big presentation and i'm not exactly confident and it was in front of my whole class. So I turn around to point to things on the board and everyone's laughing at me. My teacher pulls me aside and explains that I appear to have split my trousers and everyone can see my knickers! I went bright red and ran out of the room in tears!" Danielle laughed, telling a story from her childhood.

The three girls were sat on the sofa, tucking into the pizza they'd ordered and sharing stories. Ronnie was enjoying getting to know all the stupid little details about her daughter.

"Ha loser" Rebecca giggled

"Meany" Ronnie scolded

"Oh yes. Well I feel like an early night, night you two" Rebecca smiled, winking at Ronnie.

Ronnie was grateful her sister was giving her the space to get to know Danielle. It was as if Rebecca knew when she should be around and when she shouldn't, it made this whole process so much easier.

"You ok?" Ronnie asked Danielle

Danielle was feeling guilty, she was pretty sure Rebecca hadn't said anything to Ronnie but she knew the reaction wouldn't be good if she found out she had been talking to Archie.

"I'm fine" Danielle assured

"There are a lot of things we need to speak about Danielle... A lot has happened between us..." Ronnie started nervously

"What like the abortion? The not believing me when I said I was your daughter? The kicking me out, asking who'd want a daughter like me? Or just in general saying that having your baby was the biggest mistake of your life?" Danielle spilled everything out, she hadn't intended to but once she'd started she couldn't stop

Danielle looked at Ronnie's horrified face and walked out of the room. Ronnie couldn't even move... Danielle sat on Ronnie's bed thinking about everything that had happened.

"_She's opening her eyes Mr Mitchell" the nurse smiled. "Hello Danielle" Archie smiled, touching Danielle's face. Danielle recoiled in horror, what was happening? The last thing she remembered was... The car! Danielle could feel how bruised and battered she felt. Looking at Archie she desperately searched her brain, trying to work out what was going on. "I know this must be very strange for you but everything is going to be alright, i'm looking after you Danielle" Archie promised. "Mum.." Danielle croaked, looking around desperately. "I'm sorry Danielle, she thinks you're dead... They all think you're dead. But I'm going to make everything ok, we're going to be a family Danielle" Archie stroked her face. "Dead..." Danielle gasped. "I saved you Danielle... Granddad saved you" Archie smiled._


	18. Save You

'_There are a million things I want to say to you, but you're gone so i'm going to write them down instead. I can't believe now that the beautiful little girl who was always there was mine all along. You will never know how much I loved you and how the person that I became that cold, hard person that you grew to hate wasn't really me... I would have been everything you wanted, because I wanted you so much. I am so proud of who you became, strong, independent and beautiful with the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met. Danielle, my daughter, my everything.' Ronnie looked down at the words, they were pointless now, her baby had gone. She'd been dead for over a week now... She was faintly aware of a song playing on the radio 'Where were my senses? I left them all behind. Why did I turn away, away. I wish I could save you, I wish I could say to you, i'm not going nowhere. I wish I could say to you... It's going to be alright.' Would every song remind her of Danielle? Would she be haunted forever? Why didn't she get her chance to be a mum..._

"Dani" Ronnie almost whispered pushing open the bedroom door, only to see her little girl sobbing sitting on the floor. Her heart leapt and she moved over to Danielle wrapping her arms around her. "I'm sorry, I am so so sorry"

Danielle leaned her head against Ronnie.

"I am so messed up and I don't know how things will ever be normal again" Danielle cried, gripping tightly onto Ronnie's hand.

"I did this, me. But i'll make it better" Ronnie promised, soothing Danielle. "Baby we were made to be together, we are two halves of a whole, that's why nothing has made sense while we were apart. I've let you down so badly and i'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

"I don't know who you are Ronnie! You were so cold and hard before and now you've made this radical change" Danielle explained

"You want me to be a bitch?" Ronnie asked

"I want you to be you" Danielle pleaded

"This is me. Underneath all the hurt and the pain, this is me. I like being stupid and laughing and most of all I like being your mum" Ronnie cried

Danielle put her hand to Ronnie's face, just looking at her. Part of her had always expected to be rejected, that's why it had taken her so long to tell Ronnie the truth... It almost didn't make sense that Ronnie would want her as much as she wanted Ronnie. Was it that easy? Could they just be mother and daughter? _What about Granddad? _Danielle quickly remembered him all alone in Weymouth... She had run off and left him but he was just a lonely old man who had made mistakes. What about what he had asked? _"Get rid of the girl..." _She hadn't told Archie who Rebecca was. Everything seemed so confusing.

"You are so perfect" Ronnie whispered

"I'm nothing... I'm insignificant... But you're so glamourous, so special. How can I be your daughter?" Danielle wondered aloud

"You are beautiful and kind and so much more than I could ever be." Ronnie smiled, standing up she walked away from Danielle, walking over to the rocking chair that sat in the corner of Ronnie's room. Danielle hadn't noticed it before, but as Ronnie picked him up Danielle gasped and recognised him straight away.

"Digby!" Danielle grinned running over

"He's missed you" Ronnie smiled

"How did you...?" Danielle trailed holding him close

"Your dad gave him to me... At the funeral" Ronnie sighed now wanting to freak Danielle out

"My dad" Danielle frowned "he's ok isn't he?"

"He was a bit of a mess when I last saw him" Ronnie admitted "Dan he'd just lost his little girl, and he had a messed up birth mother on his doorstep just to complicate things further"

Ronnie sat down on the rocking chair, pulling Danielle down. Danielle's legs over hers, holding her like a small child Danielle rested her head on Ronnie's shoulder.

"The abortion..." Ronnie started, it was the most difficult topic but it was one they had to face otherwise it was going to eat away at them.

"Why didn't you come with me? I'm not angry anymore, I just want to know" Danielle asked

"It was killing me, I know it's selfish but watching someone else lose their baby was too much." Ronnie admitted

"See if i'd have known why, if i'd have known that you cared... I wanted to tell you so much" Danielle sighed

"I keep imaging how that would have gone, I can't even think how i'd have reacted... The wedding, everything was so messed up but if it had just been you and me." Ronnie mused

"You still wouldn't have believed me" Danielle smiled

"I thought my baby was dead" Ronnie shuddered

"Do you remember when the doctor thought you were my mum?" Danielle asked

"You didn't even try to correct her" Ronnie laughed

"I liked the sound of it" Danielle admitted

"When I thought you were... When I thought i'd lost you, that was all I could think about were the three times I was your mum, when you were born, right there in that clinic and when you 'died'." Ronnie remembered

"I figured if that was the end then I wanted you to know how much I loved you" Danielle smiled nervously

"Whenever you're ready to call me that... You might not ever be ready but i'm just saying if you did ever feel like calling me that then it would be ok you know." Ronnie stuttered

"Ok... Mum" Danielle grinned

"One more time" Ronnie laughed

"I love you... Mum" Danielle beamed

"I love you too baby" Ronnie snuggled into Danielle's shoulder

**I wasn't intending to update again tonight and it's pretty much just fluff but it's R&D fluff so I figured you'd enjoy it! **


	19. Protect Me From What I Want

_Archie stood over the crib as baby Veronica slept soundly. "Hello my darling, i'm your daddy" he smiled touching her tiny pink fist. He watched pride washing over him. "You'll always be a daddies girl won't you baby? You and me are unbreakable" Archie insisted. "Yeah until she gets her first boyfriend" Glenda laughed wrapping her arms around Archie and resting her head on Archie's back. Archie stood looking forward, the thought terrified him... The day he lost control..._

"Things didn't go quite to plan last night then" Rebecca asked Ronnie the next morning

"Well not at first... But we talked a lot of things over and it ended pretty well. Well apart from my back killing me sleeping in that rocking chair all night" Ronnie smiled

"Aww i'm glad, about everything working out not about your bad back" Rebecca laughed. "When are you going to start telling people about Danielle? Surely the police have to know"

"I don't know, I want us to be strong enough to face everything first. I don't know what to do about dad either, Danielle must be terrified of him coming back to get her" Ronnie mused

Rebecca thought to herself, if only you knew, how could she tell Ronnie that Danielle was still talking to Archie? It would break Ronnie's heart she hated the man... But Ronnie deserved to know didn't she?

"Ronnie... Maybe Danielle doesn't hate Archie, maybe she isn't scared of him, maybe she likes him" Rebecca muttered, not really sure if she should be bringing this up

"Why? What are you on about Bec. That man manipulated her, nearly killed her, kidnapped her and kept her from her family" Ronnie gasped astonished

"It's just... I heard her talking to him on the phone" Rebecca admitted

"You must have heard wrong" Ronnie insisted

Rebecca nodded her head not wanting to start an arguement when there was a knock on the door.

"Will you get that" Ronnie asked, turning away

"Er... Sure" Rebecca answered walking towards the door.

Roxy stood on the other side determined not be pushed away this time, determined that she was going to be part of this sisterly bliss. When Rebecca saw her she smiled, then racked her brain with reasons to get rid of her.

"Ronnie's not in" Rebecca smiled, going to close the door.

"Wait! God Bec, try to get rid of me fast enough?! Maybe i'm here to see you" Roxy sighed trying to step in the door but finding that Rebecca was blocking her.

"Bec who is it?" Ronnie asked walking towards the door

"You said she was... Oh great, you're lying now to get rid of me! This is great, well I hope that you two are very happy together because I quite frankly have had enough!" Roxy moaned

"I think it's time to tell her" Danielle sighed from inside the flat, she could barely be seen but Roxy's eyes almost popped out of her head.

Letting her by, Roxy wandered in heading straight towards Danielle. When she saw who it was she couldn't believe it.

"No way..." Roxy gasped reaching out to touch Danielle, almost as if she was trying to prove that she was real. "How?!"

"I'll explain" Danielle smiled, taking Roxy's hand and leading her to the living room. Leaving Ronnie and Rebecca stood awkwardly together.

"She would tell me if she was in contact with Dad" Ronnie insisted

"She's been through a lot Ron, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to trust her..." Rebecca started, instantly regretting her words when she the look of anger on Ronnie's face.

"And maybe you should look for somewhere else to live" Ronnie hissed walking away

The day progressed slowly, the tension between Ronnie and Rebecca didn't go unnoticed. It took a while but eventually Roxy managed to get Rebecca on her own.

"Right spill what's going on?" Roxy asked

"Can I come and stay with you?" Rebecca questioned

Roxy was taken aback, not quite knowing what to say.

"Ronnie doesn't want me here, I upset her because I warned her about Danielle" Rebecca explained

"Warned her? What about?" Roxy asked

"Danielle's been in contact with Archie, I think he's using Danielle to get to Ronnie" Rebecca continued

"And this didn't go down well with our sister" Roxy noted

"She won't believe me" Rebecca sighed

"Come on, grab your stuff and we'll head over to mine... Will you be alright, going outside and everything?" Roxy asked remembering what had happened the last time

"Hold my hand?" Rebecca asked with a nervous laugh

"Promise" Roxy assured

Ronnie watched as Rebecca packed up her belongings into a small holdall, she wanted to scream 'don't go' but that would mean distrusting her daughter and she wasn't prepared to do that. She wasn't prepared to lose her little girl now she'd got her back.

"Have you considered the possibility, that maybe just maybe she's telling the truth? You know what our dad is like and you know he knows the best way to get to you" Roxy whispered to Ronnie but Ronnie simply blanked her turning away.

Opening the door, Rebecca felt the familiar quickening of her heart, the dangers of outside screaming at her. She wanted to turn around and go back inside but then she felt the warm reassuring hand of Roxy grasping on tight.

"What's going on?" Danielle asked, watching Rebecca and Roxy leave

"If you had something to tell me... You would wouldn't you" Ronnie asked

"Of course mum" Danielle smiled, kissing Ronnie's cheek. Ronnie smiled not knowing the texts that had just passed between Danielle and Archie...

_Granddad I didn't have to do a thing! She's left! This means you can come now doesn't it? Danielle xx :)_

_Good, tomorrow i'll come and we'll convince your mother together. Granddad x_

_This is fantastic! I can't wait till we can all be together. I'm so sorry I ran away from you but I had to be with mum. But I can have both of you can't I? Danielle xx :)_

_Of course you can sweetheart. Your mother just has to understand doesn't she... I miss you darling. Granddad x_

_I miss you too. Tomorrow! Danielle xx :)_


	20. Closing In

"_I panicked darling" Archie promised, soothing Danielle. "I know I messed up but I had tangled myself up in a web of lies and I didn't know how to get out of it." Archie bowed his head, feigning a look of immense shame. "I came to sit with your body and apologise for everything but then I found out you were alive, my little granddaughter" He reached out to take Danielle's hand and to both of their surprises she didn't recoil. "I haven't told Veronica yet because if we do this right we can all be a family, but I need your help Danielle. Can you imagine it? Peggy and me, you and Ronnie, Roxy and Amy... We're going to be happy darling"_

Rebecca looked around the living room of the Vic and remembered the last time she had been there, when Roxy had found out who she was. But now it was different, Roxy wasn't angry with her if anything Roxy was actually being nice. Roxy had kept hold of her hand all across the Square, she kept on talking and smiling knowing that being outside was completely freaking Rebecca out. Those blue eyes of the attacker seemed to flash in her brain with every noise and every movement. It only settled when they were safely inside. Roxy smiled at Peggy as she pulled Rebecca inside, Peggy didn't even ask. It was best to stay out of things with those girls.

Phil walked into the living room, Amy in his arms. He gave Roxy a quizzical look when he spotted Rebecca and her holdall but Roxy shook her head to indicate that this was not the time to explain.

"She was crying" Phil grunted

"Don't pretend you don't love a cuddle" Roxy teased her cousin, despite the tough guy act Phil was a big softy underneath.

"I think she needs changing" Phil wrinkled his nose in disgust handing Amy over to Roxy

"Oh typical man, it's fine when she's being cute but the minute there's a dirty nappy involved they run a mile" Roxy laughed

Roxy looked over at Rebecca who wasn't joining in the laughter, she was just sat looking incredibly worried.

"Bec, you ok?" Roxy asked

"Ronnie hates me" Rebecca sighed

"Oh babe it's going to be fine, look i'll change Miss Stinkypants then you and me will talk ok?" Roxy promised leaving Rebecca sat thinking about how angry Ronnie was.

Maybe she had overreacted to everything with Danielle? Or maybe she was wrong, maybe Danielle was as innocent as Ronnie thought... But she couldn't shake this feeling that Danielle was being manipulated, some of things she had said over the past few weeks hadn't seemed real... More like they had been programmed into her... It was a ridiculous thought but Danielle was so fragile could it be possible that Archie was using her to get back into Ronnie and Roxy's life? Why else would he have kept her being alive secret until just the right moment? Giving Ronnie time to calm down, to get over that initial anger...

"I'm backkkk" Roxy announced with a big smile trying to ease Rebecca and make her feel welcome

"What's with the being nice to me?" Rebecca asked cautiously

"I've been a cow lately I know" Roxy sighed "but I grew up without a mum, that's not easy"

"I grew up without my sisters, that wasn't easy either." Rebecca clasped hold of Roxy's hand

"Well once we sort all this stuff out with Ronnie then we'll make a real go of it." Roxy promised "are you really worried about Danielle?"

"Yes, I don't know exactly what it is but hearing her talk to Archie really freaked me out" Rebecca admitted

"And it's not..." Roxy proceeded cautiously now "... Perhaps that you're a bit jealous... I know Ronnie's been acting all maternal with you and now Danielle's around your kind of pushed out?"

Rebecca ripped her hand away and looked at Roxy astonished

"Thanks Roxy! No it's not jealousy, i'm glad Ronnie has Danielle back but not if Danielle and Archie are going to destroy her all over again!" Rebecca snapped

"I'm sorry babe I just had to check ok?" Roxy assured

"Whatever" Rebecca grunted.

***

Ronnie walked around the flat, she had let Rebecca down again... Glenda had asked Ronnie to look after her and first the attack and now this.

"You'll be around tomorrow, yeah?" Danielle asked, bounding into the room a big smile on her face, interrupting Ronnie's thoughts of her sister.

"Erm... I think i'll have to go into work, check some orders why?" Ronnie asked

"Oh, I just didn't want to be on my own" Danielle looked slightly concerned

"I can stay if you want..." Ronnie started

"That'd be great" Danielle beamed, typing out a text

_Yep she'll be here! So excited now! Danielle xx :) _

"Who's that to?" Ronnie asked

"Oh, er Rebecca just telling her I miss her" Danielle lied

"I'll make everything alright again, I think we just need a bit of space. It gives you and me plenty of time together" Ronnie assured

"Good" Danielle smiled, cuddling up closer to Ronnie. Guilt was rushing through her body, but Ronnie would forgive her when she realised that Archie was good. _I'm giving her her dad back_ she reminded herself.

***

Archie sat back in the room of his hotel and laughed at the text he'd just received. Stupid girl was leading the lion to the lamb... Veronica had caused him so much pain and distress but that was all about to change. It would be done perfectly, Veronica would be gone and it would like Danielle had flipped and killed her mother. The scene in the pub at the wedding would prove the case perfectly, Ronnie's rejection of Danielle was her motive now all he needed to do was carry out his evil plan. With Veronica out of the way, he thought, Roxy would need support and he would be there. Once Roxy had forgiven him Peggy was just a short step away from finally getting his family back. This was perfect... No-one could stop him now.

**Oh my! Poor Danielle she really has been manipulated, but in her defense she really does believe she's doing the right thing. A nice bit of Roxy and Rebecca bonding in there though just to lighten the mood :D **


	21. Love Will Tear Us Apart

"_Your uniforms ironed, packed lunch is in the fridge and the money for that trip is on the side" Ronnie informed Roxy. Since Glenda had left and Ronnie had given up Amy for adoption she had poured all her energies into mothering Roxy. Archie wasn't around enough and even if he was Ronnie doubted he would trouble himself with such menial tasks. Being a sister and being a mother, the lines had become so blurred. See Ronnie was meant to be a mother, she knew this, she thought about it every night when she was crying herself to sleep thinking of Amy. Roxy would have to do for now, she had decided until the day she got her little girl back. Then everything would be perfect. _

It was early... Really early but sleeping on the sofa wasn't exactly comfy and Rebecca was so distracted by everything that had happened with Ronnie. Getting up and walking round Rebecca headed over to the window and looked out at the deserted Square. Deserted apart from a man walking across it, he looked oddly familiar but Rebecca couldn't place it... A sickening thud of her heart and turn of her stomach made her run over to the drawers, hunting through desperately she found what she was looking for, a photo. The man... Standing with Roxy... Archie... And he was heading towards Ronnie's...

***

Danielle stood waiting by the door, Ronnie wasn't up yet. She felt her entire body shake with apprehension and fear. Finally she heard it, the light knock she had been expecting. Pulling the door open she let Archie in, embracing him in a warm hug.

"Hello sweetheart" Archie smiled

"What the hell is going on?" Ronnie gasped staring at the scene before her.

***

What was she to do? Roxy was fast asleep, she had heard Amy screaming last night for hours, it wouldn't be fair to wake Roxy up now. No this was something she would have to do alone. Taking a deep breath Rebecca pulled on some clothes. She would have to check it out. Running down to the door she paused and took a deep breath.

"I can't do this" she whispered.

***

"Mum, Granddad just wants to talk" Danielle smiled, holding onto her grandfather almost scared that he might leave if Ronnie rejected him. She wanted her family to be together so desperately.

"Rebecca was right... You've let this monster into my house!" Ronnie gasped, the hurt and pain in her eyes was obvious. She looked at Danielle like she didn't recognise her, it broke Danielle's heart but she knew her mother just needed to understand.

"Come on V, lets just talk" Archie smiled, looking over to Ronnie. There was a look in his eyes that Ronnie recognised, he wasn't to be trusted she knew that much.

"No! Get out, just get out!" Ronnie screamed, her body shaking with anger. She had to get rid of Archie and make Danielle understand that this man was evil!

"That's not going to happen V" Archie sighed, locking the door.

***

_Come on!_ Rebecca willed herself, stepping outside that familiar dizzy feeling came over her and this time there was no-one there to help her. Trying to move forward and overcome this fear Rebecca told herself that if she didn't move then something really bad might happen. It was the motivation of protecting Ronnie that stopped her from turning round and running away. She must have looked distressed because she was being approached...

"You alright?" Max Branning asked, he recognised the girl as Ronnie's sister but this was the first time he's seen her in weeks, she looked odd, worried and scared.

"Take my hand and tell me everything is going to be alright" Rebecca demanded putting out her hand. She realised how ridiculous it sounded but she remembered that when Roxy had done it everything had felt so much calmer

Max looked at her like she was insane, it was a fair assumption to be fair but she had to, she had to get to Ronnie.

"Max! Please just do it! Ronnie could be in danger" Rebecca insisted

Max wasn't sure what was going on but he could see that she was deadly serious. Grabbing hold of her hand he smiled and led her across to Ronnie's promising that everything would be ok.

***

"What are you doing?" Danielle panicked, grabbing hold of her grandfathers hand. She looked at him, her innocent child like eyes filled with wonder and fear. She wanted him to tell her everything was going to be alright. She wanted Ronnie to listen and know that Archie had good intentions...

"What needs to be done Danielle" Archie spat, breaking free from Danielle's grasp and pushing Ronnie into the kitchen.

"Granddad?" Danielle whimpered, everything she had been led to believe, everything that Archie had said was being ripped away. Was he really still a monster... Had she just made the biggest mistake of her life?

***

"Right so you're saying Archie's there?" Max asked, trying to get an idea of exactly what was going on, he didn't want this strange girl gripping onto him for nothing.

"Well I reckon that's where he's heading" Rebecca nodded, trying to keep calm telling herself that everything would be alright she just needed to get to Ronnie.

"Oh that's nice Max! She's barely older than your daughters!" Tanya yelled, walking across the square. Spotting her husband with another girl drove her insane, as much as she tried to deny her feelings for Max, jealousy always gave her away.

"Tan! It's not what it looks like!" Max defended, realising how bad it looked to Tan. With everything that had happened with Stacey he certainly had form for going after teenage girls and now with Ronnie's little sister holding his hand...

"He's right it's not! But seriously Max we have to get going!" Rebecca insisted, she could see a marital about to break out and it was seriously wasting time.

"Look I know we're not together and you can do what you like Max but this isn't good for Lauren and Abi" Tanya complained, _it's not good for me either _she thought, her eyes unable to move from Max's hand grasped around Rebecca's.

"Oh god! Look nothing is going on with me and your husband..." Rebecca started

"Ex-husband!" Tanya insisted

"Whatever! I just need his help with something!" Rebecca moaned

"Oh right and you need to hold his hand to do this?" Tanya raised an eyebrow, she didn't believe a word though she could admit this scene hardly looked conventional.

"Yeah you didn't quite explain that one" Max asked, puzzled himself.

"Ok seriously guys, later we can come back and do this whole conversation but right now can we just go and make sure my sisters ok?!" Rebecca shouted getting well and truely annoyed

"Whatever" Tanya huffed walking away, who knew what was going on?! She just didn't care anymore!

"You owe me big time" Max complained, dragging Rebecca off towards Ronnie's, the quicker he got this over and done with the better.

***

"I wanted this to be so much classier, I wanted to talk things through before we ended this Veronica" Archie smiled, pacing up and down he watched as Ronnie squirmed with utter repulsion.

"Ended this?" Ronnie asked, her heart skipped a beat, she could feel the nerves growing inside her. She looked to Danielle but she was just as scared as she was. The maternal instinct kicked in, Ronnie wanted to protect Danielle.

"Well you didn't think I was here for tea and cakes did you?" Archie growled, reaching for a knife

"No!" Danielle screamed, Archie quickly reacted hitting Danielle with such a force that she fell to the ground, out cold. Ronnie jumped and tried to move over to her daughter, desperate to hold her, desperate to tell her everything was going to be ok.

"That was easy wasn't it Veronica?" Archie laughed, pointing the knife at her. The blade reflected Ronnie's face, her normally strong demeanor was weakening and Archie was loving every second of it.

"It doesn't have to end like this" Ronnie begged, she would say whatever she had to say to save her little girl and save herself. It couldn't end now not when it had only just begun.

"I'm sorry darling but it does" Archie beamed, running the knife blade down Ronnie's cheek, not breaking the skin just teasing. He was close enough, close enough to feel Ronnie's heart drumming at an alarming speed. It was like he was feeding off of her fear, it was electric.

***

"Damn it's locked from the inside" Rebecca complained when her key wouldn't work "break it down!" she insisted, knowing that something wasn't right.

"I'm not going to break it down! She might be sat there perfectly fine eating her breakfast!" Max laughed, surely this girl wasn't serious, maybe this was all one big joke!

"Ok seriously, you break it down and she's fine then I pay for a new door. You don't break it down and she's not fine then she's dead ok?" Rebecca glared, she meant it as well. She wasn't sure why but she could feel that something just wasn't right.

"Oh whatever" Max groaned, kicking down the door with a couple of hefty slams.

***

"What the hell is that?" Archie panicked, hearing the wood of the door split. He was distracted for a second, bringing the knife down to his side. He watched as Ronnie started to move away towards Danielle, desperately trying to wake her up.

Rebecca ran in, Archie stared at her. The girl that had been staying with Ronnie! Danielle had said that she'd gone but here she was standing before him. Her eyes almost daring him...

"Who is she?!" He yelled running towards her, the anger and frustration had built to such a level that he needed to get back his power, he needed to react.

"She's your daughter!" Danielle called, wearily waking up in Ronnie's arms. She had caused this and she needed to stop it.

But it was too late... Archie had plunged the knife into Rebecca's stomach. The horror in both their eyes. The shock that Rebecca felt, the pain and the look of confusion and then understanding on Archie's face. The look of shock on Max's face as he registered first the supposedly dead Danielle in Ronnie's arms and then the blood that was already pouring from Rebecca, collecting in a neat puddle on the floor.

"Hi Dad..." Rebecca croaked falling to the ground, there was nothing but black.

**I was planning on saving that update for tomorrow but I got excited and had to post it. I'm sorry.... I know that's a horrible cliffhanger you'll just have to wait and see and see what happens next! Will Rebecca be ok? Can Ronnie forgive Danielle? What's going to happen now that people know Danielle's alive? What's going to happen to Archie? It would really help if I knew the answer to these questions wouldn't it! Oh the joys of writing it as I go along... All I can say regarding Danielle is that i'm a massive R&D fan so I highly doubt they'll be apart for too long!**

I'm absolutely gobsmacked by all the reviews, it really has taken me by surprise that people are actually reading this and enjoying it. Thank you so much for your support. 


	22. We Sleep Forever

_Just black. An empty corridor and noises... Voices, that felt so far away. Pulling both ways but which was stronger? _

The regular beeping of the machines in the hospital were strangely comforting. Almost a distraction from the thoughts that just wouldn't go away. Ronnie and Roxy sat either side of Rebecca's bedside neither saying a word, both just willing their sister to wake up.

"Where's Danielle?" Roxy finally spoke. She hadn't been at the hospital as long as Ronnie had and she had only been able to pick up bits and pieces of what had happened.

"Still talking to the police I think, there's a lot to go over." Ronnie sighed, rubbing at her face she tried to stifle a yawn.

"Do you want to go home Ron? I can stay here, i'll call you when she wakes up" Roxy smiled.

"_If_ she wakes up" Ronnie stressed, grabbing hold of Rebecca's hand, Roxy mirrored the action on the other side.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Roxy asked nervously, she didn't want to push Ronnie but she needed to know what was going on.

Ronnie looked up, slightly startled by the question as if she had to really think about it, as if what had happened had happened years ago not hours.

_The knife clanged to the floor. Archie stared in shock at the girl in front of him, his heart racing he could suddenly see what had been irritating him each time he had seen her, she had seemed so familiar and that was because the girl was an image of his own mother... He couldn't dwell for too long because within seconds Max had moved over and tackled him to the floor._

"_You are scum" Max hissed, pinning him down._

_Ronnie quickly left Danielle's side and ran to her sister, the blood was pumping out fast and Rebecca was barely conscious. _

"_Dan quickly call an ambulance, get some towels we need to stop the bleeding!" Ronnie panicked_

"_You want to explain what's going on Ron?" Max growled, still holding Archie down, not that he needed to Archie wasn't even struggling. _

"_Not now Max!" Ronnie snapped, desperately trying to keep Rebecca awake. _

_Danielle quickly returned with towels, helping her mother to apply pressure they barely looked at each other._

"_The ambulance is on its way" Danielle spoke emotionlessly, still in a state of shock._

_The room fell silent yet again as Ronnie simply nodded a response. It was a deadly silence that reassured no-one. Finally it was broken, but by the one person no-one wanted to hear from._

"_Is is true... Veronica? Is it true?" Archie croaked, weak and pathetic._

"_Yes" Ronnie spoke, softly. Not getting angry... No he wasn't worth that now, he meant nothing to her._

"_I didn't know... I didn't know who she was" Archie whimpered_

_A shiver rushed through Ronnie's body, those words were so similar to ones she had spoken about Danielle. She hated having anything in common with her father._

"_You were going to hurt one of your daughters, why does it matter which one it was?!" Max shouted, slamming Archie down._

"_I only wanted to hurt the one that deserved it" Archie spat, utter contempt in his voice, staring at Ronnie._

_The rest rushed by, the paramedics came, the police came. Rebecca was brought out on a stretcher to an audience that had gathered outside at the sound of the sirens. A collective gasp was let out when Danielle was spotted. People asking each other was that really the girl? The one that had died?... _

***

"Max was it definately her?" Ian asked in the Vic, people were gathering round Max desperate for answers. Sure Walford had seen some peculiar things but this really was odd.

"Yep" Max grunted, downing the rest of his pint. He didn't want to be hassled by everyone, he couldn't be bothered and he was pretty sure Ronnie wouldn't appreciate him gossiping.

"Well I for one would like to be reimbursed on that fiver I put in for those flowers we collected for" Ian grumbled, Jane simply rolling her eyes at her husbands complete inability to think about anyone but himself.

Peggy emerged from out the back and suddenly all eyes were on her.

"You alright darling?" Max smiled

"He's a monster. But then we all knew that didn't we" Peggy sighed "Ronnie called, there's been no change in Rebecca's condition."

"She lost a lot of blood" Max shivered "can I get another pint Peggy?"

"On the house, you were a hero today Max" Peggy smiled.

"Come on Peggy, why don't you tell us what's going on with Danielle?" Ian piped up

"I have no idea" Peggy sighed, hating that she was out of the loop with her family. She hated that everyone was talking about them and she hated that Archie was proving himself to be even more evil that she ever could have thought.

***

"Why don't you go and check what's going on with Danielle?" Roxy smiled

"I'd rather not" Ronnie muttered

"Ronnie you can't seriously blame Danielle for what happened!" Roxy gasped, her sister was on shutdown once again. Cold, unfeeling and closed off.

"She brought him into my house Rox. I thought she cared about me..." Ronnie trailed off, clearly hurt by what had happened.

"Hey Ronnie, listen to me" Roxy insisted "she is your daughter, and she has had the worst time, first with you being a cow then with dad manipulating her, everyone thinking she was dead and dad manipulating her yet again! I'm not surprised her heads messed up, you and me have been taken in by him enough times, how can you blame Danielle for that?"

It was the wake-up call Ronnie needed, and was luckily just in time because minutes later Danielle arrived nervously pushing up the door. She was shocked by the tubes that surrounded Bec, she hated how pale and small she looked. She had let down her friend, the person that had essentially brought her back to life.

"Ronnie..." She started, fear lacing her voice

"What happened to mum?" Ronnie smiled gently, letting Danielle know that everything was ok.

"You still want me as a daughter?" Danielle asked, her eyes widening shocked by just how much Ronnie must love her.

"I love you stupid" Ronnie smiled, wrapping her arms tightly around Danielle, letting her know she was safe and wanted and that none of this was her fault. Roxy beamed at the two of them, glad that her sister had found her happiness. The almost perfect scene was only ruined by a sudden rushing beeping noise on one of the machines, Roxy panicked and hit the call button, it wasn't long before the doctors came rushing in.

"I'm afraid i'll have to ask you to wait outside" a nurse addressed the three terrified blonde women who stood expectantly, wanting information.

Standing outside the room they didn't quite know what to say to each other. Ronnie held onto Danielle's hand tightly. Roxy brushed her hair from out of her eyes, pacing the corridor.

"We should call mum" Roxy sighed

"She wouldn't care" Ronnie grunted angrily, still annoyed by her mothers desertion

"Yes she would... She left because of me Ron, she left because I made her" Roxy admitted.


	23. Nothing Can Divide Us

_She was finally home, Roxy finally could hold her little Amy in her arms. No more machines no more doctors just her and her daughter in this perfect bliss. Roxy wasn't sure if she'd ever seen anything quite so perfect, her tiny fingers and tiny toes and gorgeous eyes Roxy was truely in love. Never before had she ever wanted to protect someone and love someone as much as this perfect little baby she held in her arms. Can you imagine what it would be like to have that baby taken away? The thought echoed through her mind, she couldn't imagine it, she couldn't imagine spending these perfect moments with her child and then having that child ripped away only to spend next twenty years wondering what if? She had never truely been able to understand where Ronnie was coming from, she had never been able to truely imagine that pain. It made her see Ronnie differently, it was true what people say becoming a parent changes everything._

"Roxy what do you mean you made her?" Ronnie felt her stomach lurch as she saw the look of utter shame on Roxy's face. She had thought that it was far too simple for Glenda to just walk away when she had been so desperate to get her girls back.

"I told her if she didn't leave i'd tell Dad who Rebecca was" Roxy muttered, her cheeks flushed red as she realised how childish and stupid she sounded.

"Roxy! How could you!" Ronnie shouted, Danielle grabbing hold of her arm as if to say _calm down_ people were staring at the little scene that was developing in the corridor. "Rebecca could die and she would die believing mum dumped her on me and left her!"

"I know Ronnie, ok. I get that, I was selfish." Roxy admitted, Ronnie continued to stare at her sister completely outraged. Walking away she left Roxy standing looking like a lost little girl and Danielle was left awkward, not knowing whether to follow her mother or not. Eventually deciding to stay by her aunts side, grabbing hold of Roxy's hand the two of them sat down.

It was the first time Roxy had really noticed her niece, the perfect image of a younger Ronnie she reminded Roxy of who her sister had once been. Roxy found Danielle's presence comforting and reassuring. Danielle leaned into Roxy, resting her head on her shoulder. It was instinct, like part of her knew that when Roxy made mistakes she needed someone to tell her it was ok, Roxy appreciated the simple gesture.

"Sure you know what you're getting yourself into with this family?" Roxy asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You don't know how long i've been dying to be part of this" Danielle admitted with a small smile.

"What is it about Ronnie? I mean you have fantastic adopted parents who've raised you. I can't forgive the woman who walked out and left me, how can you?" Roxy asked.

"Something Ronnie said... Me and her we're like two halves of a whole. My whole life i've felt so incomplete and its not that I didn't have the best home life I could have asked for. I am forever grateful to my adoptive parents but being with Ronnie just feels right. I hate myself for it sometimes. I wish I had the courage and the strength to make her work for my love but the smallest gesture from her and I feel like i'm floating. You get it really Roxy, don't you? I mean you're the only other person that really knows her, you see her the way I do not the way the rest of the world does." Danielle explained

"I've just always felt like I lost her, all those years ago she stopped being my sister and started being my protector, my mother. I was this replacement for you and I played it for all it was worth. I let her fall apart, I watched her breakdown and I knew that I could get away with anything because I was all she had. Having Amy, it made me realise just how hard it must have been for her, i'm hardly responsible, fourteen year old Ronnie was probably more responsible than I am yet I was the one that got to be a mother not her." Roxy released all these thoughts and feelings going deeper than she had ever gone before.

"I couldn't tell her who I was when I first arrived because I didn't expect what I got. I though I would get some regular woman, who'd moved on, couple more kids, a husband, run down and well, normal. Instead I stumble upon..." Danielle began

"The Ice Queen" Roxy finished

"Someone that beautiful and sophisticated, its pretty intimidating for a insecure teenager who's been living a sheltered life in little old Telford. I kept thinking If I could just be her friend..." Danielle sighed

"Except Ronnie doesn't do friends, no-one gets past those walls" Roxy smiled

"I nearly got through. I was so close and I could almost see myself telling her" Danielle remembered, her heart thudding ever so slightly at the thought of the abortion.

"But as soon as she sees someone get through the first barrier the alarm bells ring and she goes into lockdown." Roxy nodded, knowing exactly how Danielle felt. "Babe, I have never seen Ronnie as happy as she is with you. You need to have faith that she loves you, maybe if we keep trying then one day we'll see a different Ronnie Mitchell but a lots happened to her, more than most people will ever have to go through."

"She's different with Rebecca, have you noticed that?" Danielle mused

"Yeah... I've been pretty jealous of it really. It's pretty hard not to like Bec though isn't it?" Roxy smiled

"I've never met anyone like that before. She's not scared of Ronnie, she just goes up to her and gives as good back. She's always smiling, always joking." Danielle giggled, wishing Rebecca was here right now, she'd be mocking them for having this sentimental moment.

Their joking was interrupted by the doctor approaching, his face gave nothing away and both Roxy and Danielle felt themselves begin to panic.

"Are you relations of Rebecca?" The doctor asked

"I'm her sister and this is her niece" Roxy smiled trying to stay positive

"She's stable but we're worried about her, these next 24 hours are critical" the doctor explained solemn faced

"Can we go and sit with her?" Roxy asked, choking up feeling Danielle's hand in hers giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Sure" the doctor smiled walking away.

Back in the room it wasn't long before Ronnie reappeared, rearranging themselves back into the position they shared in the rocking chair just nights before Ronnie and Danielle held onto each other Danielle slowly drifting in and out of sleep. Roxy sat opposite, falling asleep in her chair, she briefly caught Ronnie's eye desperately willing Ronnie to talk to her.

"I phoned mum" Ronnie explained.

Roxy nodded silently before closing her eyes once again and letting sleep take over. It was Ronnie sat wide awake, staring intently at her sister. Noticing the minute when Rebecca's eyes began to flutter open, adjusting themselves to the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Ronnie..." Rebecca croaked, gently, the words barely made a sound.


	24. The Leaving Song

"_What do you think of London?" Glenda asked Rebecca with an eager smile. "Cold, smelly?" Rebecca answered looking distinctly unimpressed. "Well we're going, they're in Walford Bec, Walford!" Glenda grinned. "Ronnie and Roxy?" Rebecca asked, her interest suddenly sparked. "Yep! You get to meet your sisters baby, this is going to be great all of us finally together" Glenda felt like her heart would explode with happiness._

The doctor had asked the three women to wait outside whilst he checked on Rebecca. The nurse shot them a warning look as if to say _no shouting this time! _But there was no way they were going to argue, they were too happy. Ronnie stood behind Danielle, resting her chin on Danielle's shoulder, her arms tightly wrapped around her daughter. This perfect picture would have looked normal to most people, but to the person approaching it was more than a little confusing...

"Girls" Glenda dashed over, concern etched on her face.

"She's woken up mum, the doctors checking on her now" Roxy assured, rubbing her mums arm and action that suprised everybody.

"Ronnie is this...?" Glenda looked at Danielle inquisitively, the granddaughter Ronnie had told her was dead was standing right in front of her.

"Yes." Ronnie beamed "Danielle meet your grandmother."

Danielle smiled nervously but didn't leave Ronnie's arms, the security and warmth was so reassuring.

"But you said..." Glenda looked slightly appalled, had her daughter lied to her? The deep conversation they had shared, Ronnie graphically describing her daughters death was it all a way to torture Glenda?

"Mum I didn't know... It was dad" Ronnie began to explain, but she could see straight away that Glenda understood the minute Archie was mentioned even the implausible could become plausible.

"And this" Glenda motioned towards Rebecca's room "this was his doing as well"

Ronnie nodded silently, seeing how crushed her mother looked. Bit by bit everything she had ever loved about Archie MItchell was being stripped away leaving nothing but a colossal mistake.

"She's doing a lot better" the doctor appeared with a warm smile "how about only one of you goes in at a time though?"

Glenda stepped forward, getting a nod of approval from Ronnie and Roxy she walked into her daughters hospital room shocked by the pale creature that laid before her. She barely resembled the girl that Glenda had left behind.

"Rebecca..." Glenda started, touching her hand to Rebecca's cool skin.

"Where's Ronnie?" Rebecca croaked

"She's outside darling, but its me mum" Glenda smiled, slightly hurt that her daughter was calling for her sister and not her.

Rebecca closed her eyes, she didn't want to speak to Glenda. Glenda pulled up a chair and began to stroke her arm, desperate to rekindle the connection that had always been so strong between them.

"I'm so sorry my darling, everything is going to be ok. I made a mistake bringing you here but i'm going to make it better sweetheart, we're going to go home and everythings going to go back to normal" Glenda promised, the sooner she got Rebecca away the better.

***

Danielle was in the toilet, leaving Ronnie and Roxy sat alone, well not for long they were interrupted by a very loud and very drunk visitor.

"They said you was here..." Stacey slurred walking towards them "well is it true ice queen, is she alive?!"

"Stacey calm down" Ronnie desperately tried to settle the young girl, seeing that the nurse from before was forcing yet another annoyed glare in their direction.

"Did you know all this time? When I was being nice to you, were you tears... false!" Stacey spat, she was clearly distressed.

"No Stace I didn't, I wouldn't have let you go through that." Ronnie assured

"Look! It's a ghost!" Stacey laughed as Danielle approached nervously "alright Dan?"

"Stacey what are you doing here?" Danielle asked, rushing over to her friend who was being almost held down by her mother.

"Well I hear a little rumour around the square that the bestest friend I have been mourning for isn't really dead and I thought i'd come and check it out" Stacey laughed again, but the pain was clear and obvious to everyone.

"Stacey i'm sorry" Danielle began to cry, holding onto Stacey's shaking hand "come on lets get you home"

Danielle looked up at Ronnie who sighed. "Do you want some help?" Ronnie asked.

"No its fine mum, i'll call Charlie to come and pick us up." Danielle smiled

"Heres the key to the flat, i'll speak to you later" Ronnie quickly embraced her daughter, the awkward smile that passed between them every time either showed an ounce of affection was obvious but didn't matter.

***

Charlie drove out towards Walford General, feeling nervous about seeing Danielle. This sweet little girl that he had let into his home, she had always reminded him of Little Mo sweet, caring but deep down strong and resilient, he'd mourned her and now she would be standing in front of him. Would he know what to say? And now with Stacey, drunk again he felt completely lost. Pulling up outside the hospital, it didn't take long to notice Stacey, her arms wrapped around Danielle, it was if nothing had ever happened.

"In the back Stace, please don't be sick" Charlie begged helping Stacey in. Turning round he faced Danielle, who looked at him clearly nervous. "Oh darling" Charlie sighed, wrapping his arms around Danielle. It took Danielle by surprise but it felt nice, the security the Slaters had always given her, the love, the home and family.

Arriving back at the Slaters, Danielle and Charlie pulled Stacey into the house and Danielle made the familiar trip up the stairs dragging Stacey behind her. Getting her ready for bed, Stacey couldn't stop smiling. Danielle wiped Stacey's make up off. The two girls rested their foreheads against each other, their bond had instantly returned. Stacey was too drunk and too happy to have Danielle back to get angry at her.

"Go to sleep" Danielle commanded

"Love you ghost girl" Stacey slurred, burying herself under her covers.

Danielle slipped downstairs to the kitchen where Charlie waited with a mug of steaming tea for her.

"We don't have any of those biscuits you love, we stopped buying them after..." Charlie stopped himself, he felt himself getting upset.

"Charlie i'm sorry, no-one knew..." Danielle couldn't even find a way to explain

"Your dad Danielle, he's shattered" Charlie sighed remembering the empty man he'd seen in Telford "does he know yet?"

"I spoke to him earlier but it was hardly a conversation, he didn't seem to believe it" Danielle, felt her heart lurch as she talked about her father. She had let the police officer phone him up and explain, then she had come on the line...

"_Danni?" Andy gasped_

"_Dad" Danielle began, she couldn't continue though his sobs filled the line._

"_It's really you Danni, it's really you" he spluttered in between sobs_

"Maybe you should go and see him" Charlie suggested "I think he needs to see you"

"I know... It's just" Danielle couldn't stop thinking about Ronnie, losing her.

"Danielle if i'd looked inside that locket, if i'd have known, if i'd just stood up and said something at that damn reception. I've had that guilt and i've carried it, but I faced your father. Now you need to do the same. Just because he's not your biological father doesn't make him any less of a father, Zoe isn't my daughter but I love her as much as any of the others because being a parent is a choice. Ronnie's still going to be here, but right now you need to concentrate on your dad" Charlie smiled, he rubbed Danielle's hand.

"You're right. I'm going to go back to Telford" Danielle smiled.

**So both Rebecca and Danielle are leaving?? Guess you'll have to wait and see. :D Major thanks for all the reviews, the support is amazing and overwhelming.**


	25. Hey Girls, You Got A New Life

_Glenda sat feeling broken, lost and alone. She had thought she was doing the right thing leaving Rebecca with Ronnie but now she wasn't so sure. How could she guarantee that Ronnie would look after her, she had no idea about the woman her eldest daughter had become yet she had trusted her with her most precious thing... Her Rebecca. Thoughts of Archie flashed through her head, that kiss, that stupid kiss that ruined everything. How could she still be attracted to a man so evil he would destroy the life of anyone he came into contact with? It didn't make sense. Part of her wanted to go straight back to Walford, march up to Ronnie's, grab Rebecca and run. Because before, when it was just the two of them everything was simple and Archie Mitchell was but a distant memory._

"No" Rebecca insisted, she was feeling weak but she was still aware of what she wanted and going back to live with her mother definitely wasn't it.

"I won't argue darling, bringing you here was a mistake. Leaving you here was an even bigger one" Glenda sighed

She wasn't aware that Ronnie and Roxy had heard every word, standing at the door they looked first to Glenda and then to their sister. Glenda turned around noticing her elder daughters looking at her disappointed and hurt.

"She's only refusing because she believes I abandoned her, you need to tell her the truth Roxy" Glenda demanded

"Fine. Babe she left because I made her, I threatened to tell dad who you were if she didn't go." Roxy confessed "But that was before I knew you, before I loved you. If you want to stay with me and Ronnie then don't let my mistake stop you." Roxy continued

Rebecca took in all the information, it helped her to understand why her mother had left but it didn't change the way she felt.

"When I get out of here i'm going back to Ronnie's, if she'll have me" Rebecca smiled in Ronnie's direction and Ronnie gave a playful nod.

"No" Glenda insisted

"I am an adult mum and I can live where I want. I'm not saying I don't want you in my life, but I feel settled here and happy and I don't want to leave." Rebecca was firmer and more insistent.

"Ronnie hasn't got the space for you love, not in that tiny flat, not now she has Danielle as well" Glenda smiled, feeling like she would finally be victorious.

"Well thats why me and Roxy have got somewhere else, i've been thinking about it for a little while. Roxy's sick of being at the Vic and I want somewhere stable for my daughter. Our new place will be more than big enough for Bec" Ronnie beamed, excitedly sharing her plans.

"I guess I don't get a say then..." Glenda finally backed down, defeated.

***

Danielle let herself into Ronnie's flat, it was late and she wasn't quite prepared for the state the flat was still in. A new door had been fitted, the police had seen to that and been nice enough to drop off the new keys to Ronnie, the same keys Danielle now gripped tightly in her hand. Most of the blood had been cleaned up too, but what was left made her stomach turn. Painful reminders of the mistake she had made and the life it nearly cost, she knew right then that going back to Telford, at least for now was the right decision, she just had to try and get Ronnie to understand...

***

Ronnie and Roxy had been so excited on the way home, the entire taxi journey had been spent on plans for curtains, furniture and decorations. Their little family unit, safe and secure.

"Auntie Peg will go mental when she finds out" Roxy giggled, feeling like she was twelve years old again.

"Oh let her, its about time you got yourself a bit of independence Roxanne" Ronnie smiled

"How are we going to afford this Ron?" Roxy worried slightly, she knew she was dampening their spirits but she had to be realistic.

"Send Amy out to work?" Ronnie joked "Oh I don't know Rox we'll figure it out!"

It was so unlike Ronnie to throw caution to the wind, but Roxy could see how happy she looked. Happier than... Well ever. It would be good for Amy too living with her aunts and her cousin. Paying for the taxi, Ronnie walked Roxy back to the Vic, embracing her sister before saying goodbye. Now she was just excited to get back and tell Danielle her plans. Rushing across the Square, Ronnie finally arrived at her flat tapping on the door she waited a few minutes before Danielle answered. Flashing a massive smile at her daughter she quickly rushed in, pulling Danielle into a massive embrace.

"Have you been drinking?" Danielle asked with a coy smile, she hadn't seen Ronnie this excitable before.

"Nope, i'm high on life baby girl. I've got something to tell you" Ronnie grinned

"Oh, well I have something to tell you as well" Danielle admitted

"You go first" Ronnie continued to smile, filling up a glass with water from the tap she took a massive gulp before turning to face her nervous looking daughter.

"What's up?" Ronnie asked

"I've booked my train tickets, i'm going back to Telford" Danielle spoke in a tiny voice

"No" Ronnie gasped

"Not forever, just for a little while. Just so I can get my head straight, please understand mum that this is what I need." Danielle pleaded

"I've only just got you back Dan, I feel like i'm losing you all over again" Ronnie squeaked in a small childish voice that sounded nothing like her own.

"I promise that I love you, and I promise that i'm coming back." Danielle assured, placing the palm of her hand on Ronnie's cheek. The two stood still in the dark flat, connected by a single hand...

**I know you guys are going to be angry with the decision to let Danielle go back to Telford, but after everything thats happened she really does need to get her head sorted. She won't be gone for long though in fact i've just written her return in a future chapter! As for the house, i've been looking on the map of Walford on the website and there is a house available... I think. Ah who cares this is my story and I say there's a house available! It's going to be fun having all those Mitchell girls under one roof. As always thanks for the reviews, suggestions are always appreciated, tell me what you like what you don't like who you want to see more of less of etc.**


	26. The Letter

_A man shouted at them in Spanish, Ronnie could understand a few words and pretty much got the gist that he was very, very angry... What was that word? It sounded a bit like whores... Ahem... Trying to pull Roxy away she desperately tried to hold in a laugh as Roxy refused to give up the argument. "Yeah well I tell you something your bar is rubbish and I wouldn't drink in here even if I was desperate!" Roxy yelled. Ronnie gave Roxy a look that suggested she be quiet and Roxy instantly responded by closing her mouth and taking Ronnie's hand. "How do we get ourselves in these messes Ron?" Roxy asked with a small giggle. "Well they usually start with you drinking a little too much..." Ronnie raised an eyebrow before joining in with laughter. She felt down and felt the reassuring presence of her locket, she wouldn't think about what was inside it was just enough to know it was there. "Mitchell sisters, truely the highlight of Ibiza wouldn't you agree?" Roxy grinned. "Oh yes and we even provide our own fireworks" Ronnie replied._

Ronnie looked at her sister and burst out laughing, Roxy stood slightly confused wondering why all of a sudden Ronnie was in hysterics.

"What's so funny Ron?" Roxy asked, raising an eyebrow in slight suspicion.

"You have paint on your nose" Ronnie smiled, the two women stood in their new living room decorating it ready for when Rebecca came home and when Danielle finally returned. A couple of weeks had passed and though at first Ronnie had gone straight back into zombie mode without Danielle, Danielle's constant phone-calls had reassured Ronnie and made her feel like smiling again. Like Roxy had said, it was better to focus on giving Danielle a home to come back to rather than mope around.

Roxy leaned over with the paintbrush wiping some on Ronnie's nose, Ronnie stood mouth agape pretending to look shocked.

"Ronnie... You've got paint on your nose" Roxy flashed a wicked grin and it wasn't long before paint was being sprayed around the room.

"This is hardly productive" Glenda noted standing in the doorway of the front room with Amy in her arms, she was staying just until Rebecca got out of hospital and things were still a little frosty with all three of her daughters. Luckily Amy provided a happy go between.

"No but its fun!" Roxy smiled, chasing after Ronnie with the brush.

Glenda sighed before taking Amy safely into Roxy's room which had already been decorated thanks to Christian. It was surprising just how many people had offered to come and help them fix up the house, it was beginning to feel like home.

"I got this for Danielle's roo..." Stacey stopped in mid sentence when she stumbled across the scene in the living room, the ice queen herself covered in paint laughing so much she had to sit on the floor. Stacey gave a quick smile, knowing that her mate would be alright here... Thats if she ever got herself back from Telford, leaving Andy was proving to be a difficult task he'd barely been able to let his baby girl out of his sights for more than five minutes.

"Hey Stace, fancy doing some painting?" Roxy giggled

"Yeah no thanks, i'll take these into Dan's room shall I?" Stacey rolled her eyes, feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket she was very happy to see it was Danielle phoning her.

"Y'alright Dan? Yeah i'm at yours right now... Ronnie? Oh she's a little tied up right now! Oh Dan you should see the state of those two.... There's more paint on them than on the walls!" Stacey laughed

Danielle felt a pang of jealousy, she was stuck in Telford whilst everyone else had fun without her.

"Is that Danielle?" Ronnie asked excitedly snatching the phone from Stacey. Ignoring Stacey's protests. "Hey baby, oh I miss you so much"

The sound of Ronnie's voice was reassuring, it made Danielle feel safe and wanted. They talked for the next five minutes, cramming in as much information as they could. "Love you mum" Danielle bid farewell. Unaware that Andy was stood watching her.

"Thought you were phoning Stacey?" Andy asked, he always got like this whenever he heard Danielle talking to Ronnie, this jealousy escaped from him and it was hard to contain it.

"She was at Ronnie's, Ronnie grabbed the phone" Danielle explained, a tone of annoyance obvious.

"You'd think she'd give you a little space" Andy muttered walking away. Danielle didn't respond, she'd had this argument a thousand times with Andy and she couldn't be bothered to have it again.

***

"It actually looks good" Roxy pointed out, sat on the floor looking at the freshly decorated room.

Ronnie was sat cross-legged next to her, a steaming mug of tea in her hands. She nodded and smiled, leaning slightly on a paint covered Roxy.

"This is going to work out isn't it Rox?" Ronnie asked, looking at Roxy with hopeful eyes.

"This is going to be perfect" Roxy assured.

"You girls calmed down?" Glenda asked, sitting down next to them

"Oh yes" Roxy smiled

"I went to the pub earlier, had a drink with Peggy. It was kind of nice, we put the past behind us, talked through a lot of things" Glenda said, a content smile on her face.

"Thats good, you two used to be pretty close didn't you" Ronnie spoke, sipping her tea.

"Yeah, she's still the same old Peggy. I'll miss her when I go" Glenda sighed.

"You don't have to go mum" Roxy spoke up.

"Oh darling, I do. This isn't my life, I can't be here..." Glenda admitted, Ronnie and Roxy understood acknowledging this with a small nod. "Peggy gave me some mail to give to you" Glenda suddenly remembered digging through her handbag searching for the pile of letters. Most of them were for Roxy but there was a handwritten envelope addressed to Ronnie. Ronnie took one look at it and shoved it into her pocket, this letter was for later, when she was alone.

"Love letter Ron?" Roxy teased, sorting through the pile of bills and bank statements.

"Business stuff, far too boring for now, don't want it bringing down my good mood" Ronnie lied with a false smile.

"How about a glass of wine girls?" Glenda offered.

***

"We could watch a movie? Or maybe just some TV? I could order takeaway or I could cook? Maybe we should just talk? Or we could go out somewhere?" Andy was listing all these things but none of it registered with Danielle, she knew they had to talk properly, talk about what they had been avoiding the whole time she had been here.

"Dad... Can we talk about Ronnie?" Danielle interrupted

"That's your life Dan..." Andy cut her off, just the name made him angry.

"You're both parts of my life, the two most important parts of my life." Danielle insisted

"I just don't understand it Danielle, she's not exactly motherly... Have you thought maybe you're forcing yourself on someone that doesn't want you?" Andy confessed the worrying thoughts that had haunted him.

"She's broken... That's why she appears so cold but she's my mum, my flesh and blood and whatever you want to believe I know she loves me." Danielle, glared at her father desperate for him to understand.

"I don't know if I can do this" Andy admitted

"Please don't ask me to choose between the two of you" Danielle begged.

***

Ronnie finally settled in her room, it was the smallest of the three but she was the only one that wouldn't be sharing a room so it seemed fair. Curling up in her bed she pulled on one of Danielle's hoodies that she had left behind, letting herself breathe in the reassuring scent of her baby girl. Feeling for the letter she pulled it out and traced the letters on the envelope. Opening it up she scanned the letter feeling her heart beat faster and faster.

"_... I want to see you..."_

**Sorry its only been one update today, its been a little crazy here, lots to do and not enough time to do it! There is a slight chance I won't update tomorrow because I really should have my head in a book and be doing revision, but if i'll probably take a break and write up some more, just saying though I make no promises. Thanks for the reviews :D**


	27. Jaded Hearts Heal With Time

"_I'm not going to school!" Ronnie insisted with a look of utter defiance directed at Archie. "Oh yes you are young lady" Archie growled. "But everyone knows!" Ronnie protested pointing to her protruding stomach. "It's your own fault Veronica I have absolutely no sympathy for you, if you think i'm going to let you destroy your education as well as your life you're very wrong!" Archie insisted. "They all keep teasing me and calling me Miss Bump" Ronnie sobbed, she hated the way those girls kept looking at her. "You have no-one to blame but yourself Veronica." Archie spat as he turned and walked away._

Ronnie was nervous, she had been for days- jumpy and irritable, Roxy and Glenda were having a hard time ignoring it but both just put it down to Danielle not being around. Finally Rebecca was coming home, _Ronnie should be over the moon _Roxy thought but instead she'd barely acknowledged the event. The house was looking good though, all the decorating was finally finished and the house was looking distinctly Mitchell.

"Well we're going to the hospital to get Bec. Are you coming Ronnie?" Roxy asked, snapping Ronnie out a trance.

"Huh? Oh... Er, no i'm not. I'll be here when she gets home" Ronnie smiled, she felt awful not going to the hospital especially when she had yet to talk to Rebecca and apologise but she needed to take advantage of having an empty house.

"See you later darling" Glenda gave a slight wave before walking out to the awaiting taxi with Roxy.

The second the taxi was safely out of sight Ronnie picked up her mobile phone and dialled the number she had called more than once this past week.

"...It's me... Today ok?... Yeah it's called R'n'R's... Yes I know original!... 5 ok?... See you then..." Ronnie quickly ended the conversation, it was as brief and abrupt as each phone-call this week had been.

Not quite knowing what to do with herself now she decide to make sure that the house was tidy. Stepping into the room that was soon to Rebecca and Danielle's she felt herself smile with such ferocity it almost hurt her cheeks. The distinct split that separated the two halves of the room made Ronnie giggle, the mature, girl and comfortable side her daughter would inhabit and the wacky, bright and fun side of her sister. Danielle's bed was currently being occupied by Glenda but Ronnie would have it looking perfectly for when Danielle finally returned, with Digby sat welcoming her to her new home. The thought suddenly reminded Ronnie she had bought a gift for Rebecca, Ronnie ran off into her own room and grabbed the carrier bag from under her bed. She placed on Rebecca's bed a stuffed toy from the silly kids programme Rebecca watched, it would put a massive smile on Rebecca's face she was sure. The sound of the door clicking made her realise almost an hour had passed, she turned into the hallway to welcome Rebecca.

"This place is nice!" Rebecca beamed with a content smile.

"Hello you" Ronnie grinned pulling her sister into a light hug.

"Right I need to check out my room" Rebecca demanded, pulling away feeling slightly awkward around her sister. Walking away she headed in the direction of her new bedroom.

"Give me a minute with her" Ronnie insisted.

They walked in the room and Rebecca suddenly became aware that her mum and Roxy hadn't followed, she squirmed realising she had been cornered.

"Sit down" Ronnie requested with a small smile.

Rebecca did what she was told but didn't say a word, she wanted to make this difficult for Ronnie, make her work for it.

"I am so sorry, I really let you down" Ronnie started "I still haven't apologised for not believing you when you told me Danielle was alive, never mind not believing you when you warned me about dad..." Ronnie sighed

"Yeah well it would be nice if you could give me the benefit of the doubt just once." Rebecca tutted

"I get it alright, I can trust you, you're always there. You saved my life" Ronnie groveled

"Igglepiggle?" Rebecca laughed picking up the soft toy on her bed

"Thought you liked him" Ronnie smiled

"I love him" Rebecca grinned wrapping her arms around her big sister, cringing slightly when Ronnie squeezed a little two tight on her incredibly sore wound.

"Sorry" Ronnie yelped

"It's ok" Rebecca assured.

Ronnie quickly glanced at her watch and looked slightly panicked.

"I've got to go! I'll see you later ok" Ronnie rushed, kissing her sisters cheek and running for the door. Rebecca looked a little confused, shrugged her shoulders and cuddled her new blue...er... creature tightly.

***

"Jack what are you doing here?" Ronnie gasped as she ran into the club

"Setting up for tonight what do you think?" Jack shrugged continuing to fiddle around with the sound system.

"No you can't" Ronnie panicked "i'll do it, can you just go"

"Ronnie the sound systems broken, I need to fix it or this party tonight won't have music" Jack groaned ignoring Ronnie and whatever strange mood she was in.

"I'll do it! Jack just go it's important" Ronnie rushed feeling her face blush red

"Oh whatever Ronnie but you can explain to them why their parties a total wash out" Jack grumbled, stomping past Ronnie and out of the club. Ronnie breathed a sigh of relief, running over to a mirror she quickly checked her hair and make-up looked alright before deciding to take a quick look at the sound system. Bending over she started messing around in the tangle of wires.

"I'd recognise that bum anywhere" a man laughed

Ronnie jumped at the sound, bashing her head against the wall knocking herself backwards.

"Woah, woah are you ok?" the man panicked picking Ronnie up in his arms. "Bloody hell Ron... You look amazing"

"What even with a bump on my head Joel?" She laughed lightly, cringing at the pain.

Joel laughed, his gorgeous brown eyes staring deeply into Ronnie's baby blues... They both suddenly became aware that Joel was still holding onto Ronnie.

"What were you trying to do?" Joel asked pointing to the sound system

"It's not working" Ronnie explained

"Let me take a look" Joel smiled reaching down, as he worked he kept on starting back at Ronnie "so our daughter Ron..."

"Danielle" Ronnie smiled

"She's really alive" Joel whispered, hardly letting himself believe it.

"Certainly is" Ronnie beamed, that feeling of pride and warmth filling her.

"Wow..." Joel gasped, turning back to the sound system "you got a CD I can try?"

"There's a pile over there" Ronnie explained

Joel got up and looked through the CD's looking for the perfect one... Placing it in the CD player he let the first few bars play before Ronnie recognised what it was.

"Hear you were pretty impressive at the reunion dancing to this" Joel laughed, Ronnie remembered dancing with Christian to this song, the song that had made everyone look at her differently. "Fancy a dance? We had to stand and watch when it was playing at the disco all those years ago didn't we Miss Bump?"

Ronnie looked shyly at Joel for about a minute before she let herself be flung around the room, dancing and laughing like they'd never been apart.

**So here it is, I updated. Revisions driving me up the wall so this was a nice escape, luckily I only have one exam so I can get back to a couple of updates a day after tomorrow. As always I hope you're enjoying this, thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading :D**


	28. Bound By Love

"_Lee wants me to go down the park later for a kickabout, want to come and watch?" Joel asked. "I can't think of anything worse, you go. I might just head home and watch a video with Roxy" Ronnie assured, knowing how Joel worried about leaving her, scared she'd find someone else someone better. "Are you sure babe, I mean I could tell Lee we're busy if you want?" Joel asked. "I think you'd break his heart" Ronnie only half joked, she hadn't failed to notice the strange attachment Joel's best friend had to him. "We're men! Men don't get broken hearted!" Joel laughed kissing Ronnie's neck. It was all so easy being kids..._

Moving round the room in time to the music, their bodies swooned and swerved perfectly together. Their eyes locked and both felt the unmistakable pull but neither was willing to give in, instead they carried on dancing. In was insanity, feeling so comfortable and relaxed with a person that you hadn't seen for twenty years but the connection was instant.

"I'm married" Joel smiled, offering the piece of information as he felt himself grow more and more attracted to his ex. It was almost a warning to himself, speaking the words to remind him, to prevent him from doing what his heart was begging him to do.

"And i'm not interested" Ronnie laughed, Joel tipping her forward before continuing to dance around the room. She had expected him to be married, she remembered that time she'd gone to the house and she's seen the little... It still hurt though and brushing it off was far easier than confronting it.

"No?" Joel questioned, slightly surprised. The way Ronnie was looking at him, was he crazy, was he reading things that just weren't there? Was he the only one feeling the magnetic pull that threatened to drag him where there was no turning back?

"You're my daughters father... Maybe we should be concentrating on her" Ronnie suggested, the touch of his hands on her hips driving her crazy. Concentrate on Danielle, she thought to herself but that didn't make things better. Being with Joel just reminded her of everything she could have had... A family that was just out of reach.

"I'm slightly worried i'm falling for you Ronnie Mitchell, talking to you on the phone, being with you now even for five minutes it's driving me insane" Joel admitted, he felt his cheeks flush red he realised how stupid it had sounded he'd been in the club for no time at all and already he was fawning over his ex. He couldn't help it though she was stunning.

"Nostalgia Joel, thats all it is" Ronnie insisted, smiling slightly. Looking at him, taking in every detail, older more defined but still Joel. Gorgeous, tall and with a smile that could melt even the iciest of hearts...

Pulling her closer, the dancing had become more of a gentle sway. Her blue eyes gazing into his brown. They looked a little lost, like they had become teenagers all over again, as if there was nothing on the outside, no responsibilities just two people in the whole wide world and they were dancing in this very room.

"See sometimes I wonder if maybe I met the love of my life at fifteen and things just got in the way" Joel pondered, he hated himself for saying that but when he was with Ronnie he lost his mind.

"I'm sure your wife would love to hear you say that" Ronnie breathed, they were dangerously close now. Her heart had skipped a beat at his admission, maybe he was always the one? Dare she think it?

The music stopped and all that could be heard was the sound of their breathing, in sync, rhythmic breaths. Ronnie worried he could hear her heart beating, she was sure it was loud enough for the whole of Walford to hear.

"I'm not interested" Ronnie muttered leaning in, what was she doing? She couldn't stop herself, it was as if she'd stepped away from her body and was watching herself do this.

"I'm married" Joel murmured pulling her close. He thought saying it again would make him come to his senses or at least make her pull away but they were in too deep now, they'd crossed the line.

Their lips collided in a frenzied passion. Lust, love, whatever it was it sure felt good.

Danielle hadn't planned on coming back but after yet another argument with Andy she had conceded that everything was just a little too raw to discuss properly at the moment. She had promised him she would be back soon, give him chance to miss her, give him chance to think things over objectively. Feeling her heart beat faster, she couldn't wait to see her mum. She'd bumped into Jack who'd informed her that Ronnie was here, she just wanted to surprise her. Rushing down the stairs she stopped and watched her mother and the man she hadn't seen before locking lips. Danielle flushed red with embarrassment, especially when Ronnie noticed she was standing there. Raising her eyebrow and letting out a stifled giggle Danielle gave a slight wave. Ronnie pulled away like she'd been shocked with electricity.

"Sorry! I'll be in the office mum" Danielle giggled rushing into the office, it was weird seeing Ronnie like that, it was even weirder that the guy was staring at her... Maybe Ronnie hadn't told him she had a daughter?

Joel immediately spun round at the word 'mum' only to see Danielle... His daughter. He looked into her eyes... his eyes, she had his eyes. His brain could barely process everything that had happened and he struggled to find words.

"Thats..." Joel gasped

"Oh my god how am I going to explain this??" Ronnie panicked, how could she let herself give in to temptation like that? Now she would have to face Danielle and explain who he was... Everything was so much more complicated with a child involved even if that 'child' was an almost twenty year old adult.

"Ronnie thats her isn't it? Thats my daughter" Joel repeated, completely in shock. He needed Ronnie to say it, to confirm it.

"Yes! Oh Joel this is so messed up, can you just leave me to explain things to her?" Ronnie asked getting worked up, she needed him to leave so she could think straight.

"But I want to talk to her" Joel sighed, he couldn't leave now. His little girl was just a door away and Ronnie was asking him to leave? He just wanted to run in there and hold her in his arms.

"Not today ok?" Ronnie smiled, taking his hand, desperate to appease him she didn't want to scare him away.

Joel looked down to see his finger stroking the back of Ronnie's hand. His heart began to race again and he felt that familiar pull towards Ronnie.

"This can't happen" Ronnie hissed pulling away, rushing towards the office. Joel stood looking hurt before slowly moving towards the exit. He needed air, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Oh mum I am so sorry!" Danielle laughed "Who's the hotty?"

"Er... Dan listen what you saw in there was a mistake, a big mistake" Ronnie insisted, what was she going to say? How could she explain why she was kissing him?

"Mum i'm a big girl you're allowed to have boyfriends" Danielle teased, she was amused at how worked up Ronnie was getting, she knew Ronnie wanted to protect her and look after her but she needed to be happy to.

"Danni, he's... he's your dad" Ronnie admitted, the words escaped and Ronnie couldn't put them back in. All she could do was look at her little girl and pray she wouldn't be upset.

Danielle took a step back, suddenly realising what Ronnie had said and what Ronnie had done. Her mind flashed an image of the man looking at her intently, as she ran into the office, that man that was her father that man that had her eyes...

**Danielle's back! :D **


	29. The Promise

_Joel couldn't believe it when he picked up the pile of mail that day, bills... They were normal but then there was this letter and the handwriting was... No it couldn't be, it was his mind playing tricks on him. Slowly opening it up he gasped when he saw he suspicions confirmed..._

_Dear Joel, I got your address from Lee. I'm sorry to write like this, out of the blue, but there's so much I need to say. So much you deserve to know. I hate writing this in a letter, it seems to impersonal and uncaring and you know how much I cared about you, you were my everything at one point in my life. I would have told you this if you'd have come to the reunion... I guess you had your reasons. I don't know if you ever thought about our baby, you know I called her Amy and you know I gave her up for adoption but beyond that I don't know if you ever imagined what she looked like or whether she's happy, I used to think about her everyday. Joel I recently found out our little girl died, I don't know much about what happened only what my dad has told me. I just thought you deserved to know. I'm sorry I know that doesn't make things clear and it doesn't make things better but you had a right to know what happened. I'm sorry Joel, I wish things had been different, I wish we'd raised our little girl... Do you ever think about that? All my love Ronnie._

Danielle sat down, she was pale and quiet and Ronnie was starting to worry. What could she say? It was a big shock for Danielle, she'd never really asked many questions about Joel and all of a sudden there he was. Ronnie started to pace the room, all she really wanted to do was to forget all this Joel stuff and hug her daughter, she'd missed her so much. Danielle looked like she was deep in thought and Ronnie didn't want to interrupt so she just let her think, waiting for her to say something.

"What was he doing here... Apart from kissing you of course" Danielle asked, she hadn't meant that last bit to sound quite so catty and she looked away not wanting to face Ronnie.

"Dan it was a one off, a mistake! He's here for you, he's here because he wants to get to know you" Ronnie insisted

"I thought you wrote to him... Told him I was dead?" Danielle asked remembering the letter that Ronnie had sent to Joel shortly after the reunion that he hadn't turned up to. The letter Joel had replied to but that Danielle had stolen, not realising what it was. Archie had burned Joel's reply and she was never to know what he had said.

"Well he sent another letter, he needed answers he said he needed to see me and talk about you. I phoned him and I explained what had happened, explained that you were alive and he wanted to meet you" Ronnie smiled

"But I wasn't supposed to have been here today, surely he was just here for you?" Danielle questioned, the way she saw it Joel was using Danielle as an excuse to get close to Ronnie and that was out of order.

"It wasn't as simple as putting the pair of you in a room and everything being alright. We needed to talk, think about how to handle this, think about how to tell you. Danielle if I thought he was going to hurt you in anyway I wouldn't have let him anywhere near Walford but he's not the enemy" Ronnie sighed, she wasn't sure why she was so desperate for Danielle to want her biological father but right now all she could think about was convincing Danielle to give him a chance.

"Is he married?" Danielle asked, raising an eyebrow

"Yes" Ronnie admitted shamefaced

"Kids?" Danielle probed further, wanting to know all the details of this man.

"I don't know Dan" Ronnie said, an edge of frustration peaking in her voice.

"Mum... If I meet with him, if I talk to him then you need to promise me something" Danielle muttered

"Anything baby, anything at all" Ronnie promised

"Nothing can happen between you two, because if it does then it's all going to go wrong and he'll end up leaving. I can't get emotionally involved only for him to reject me, i've had enough rejection for a lifetime..." Danielle barely whispered the last part but that didn't stop Ronnie from hearing it, thoughts of the night of the wedding flashed through her mind, throwing her daughter out on the street, the hurt and pain that she had suffered. Ronnie felt guilty and slightly sick and reached out to her daughter looking for forgiveness. Danielle hesitated at first but remembered just how much she had missed her mum. Letting herself fall into Ronnie's waiting arms, Danielle knew she was where she needed to be... Home.

Joel stood outside R'n'R waiting, slightly hidden. He needed another glance, they had to come out soon he decided and almost immediately after that he saw them, the flashes of blonde, Ronnie with her arm wrapped tightly round Danielle. They looked so happy and Joel longed to be a part of it, to be part of their family unit. He was staggered by how much Danielle looked like Ronnie but he could see himself in her too, it was the most amazing feeling. He'd spent years thinking about his daughter, he'd even thought about trying to find her but then he'd got the letter from Ronnie explaining that their daughter had died. Finding out she was alive felt like a sick fairy-tale, he couldn't imagine how Ronnie had felt. She'd been through it twice. He kept watching, walking behind slow enough so that he wasn't noticeable, just making sure they got home safely.

Glenda was clattering around in the kitchen, it was her last night and she wanted to make sure everything was perfect but she was already pretty sure she'd made too much food. Looking up at the sound of the door opening she couldn't believe it when Ronnie walked in with Danielle.

"Hey look who I found" Ronnie beamed with pride

"Hello darling!" Glenda squealed, pulling Danielle in for a rib crushing hug. There was no time for awkwardness because Glenda was in full Grandma mode. "Oh this is perfect, i've made far too much food and now there's someone else to eat it!"

Danielle laughed at the bright and cheery woman that raced around the kitchen, she reminded her of Roxy always loud and friendly. Taking in the rest of the house Danielle couldn't believe how great it was.

"Oh love i'll have to move my stuff out your room, you won't be able to properly appreciate it with your old grandmas rubbish all over your bed" Glenda chuckled

"No i'm not kicking you out of it, i'll bunk in with mum... If that's ok?" Danielle looked up at Ronnie expectantly

"As long as you can put up with my snoring" Ronnie laughed

"See I told you, you snored!" Roxy mocked, walking in the room with Amy in her arms "Danielle!" Roxy raced over and gave Danielle a half hug before offloading Amy onto her knowing how much Danielle would have missed her cousin.

"What's all the fuss?" Rebecca asked following Roxy in. Spotting Danielle she stepped back slightly, tension obvious.

"I told you those two sharing a room might not be the best idea" Roxy muttered to Ronnie, Ronnie responded by digging her elbow into Roxy's side.

"Hey" Rebecca started with a weak smile

"Hi" Danielle flushed red, not knowing what to say or how to make things better. It had been her fault that Rebecca had been thrown out the flat and her fault that Archie been let into the flat. She was almost grateful that she couldn't move into her new room just yet.

"Food is served!" Glenda interrupted, the girls all moved slowly over to the table not quite sure who would sit where... Rebecca made it easy though pulling Danielle over to sit next to her. The girls exchanged a warm smile.

_Maybe everything will be alright after all_ Ronnie thought taking her place on the other side of Danielle.


	30. Hold On Tight

_There was a dangerous, reckless edge to her daughter, Glenda had noticed this about the usually quiet Rebecca. Sure she was always cracking jokes but there was something almost unstable about her at times... Rebecca was only a teenager and it worried Glenda how obsessive her daughter could be about things, stupid things. She would have to keep an eye on her, Glenda noted. Rebecca didn't do things by halves, everything was full on. The first time she'd gotten drunk she'd ended up in hospital, fourteen years old and she was getting her stomach pumped... That addictive personality, never knowing when to stop... _

Rebecca couldn't believe how much pain she was in, she had barely been able to sleep what with the pain and the nightmares that haunted her. Creeping off to the bathroom she was trying not to wake her mother, grabbing her painkillers she shook a load into her hand and knocked them back, anything to stop the pain. It wasn't long before a calming feeling of sleepiness fell over her, barely making it back to her bed she was immediately fast asleep.

***

"Ok you being awake is keeping me awake, what's wrong?" Ronnie asked, Danielle had tossed and turned all night.

"I had a bad time in Telford... Don't know if now is the time to let Joel in when i'm so messed up about dad" Danielle admitted

"What happened in Telford, I thought Andy would be on cloud nine with you around?" Ronnie asked, noticing how upset Danielle looked. Reaching out and stroking Danielle's face, Ronnie noticed how Danielle immediately looked calmer. It felt special having that effect on her.

"He's angry about some things..." Danielle didn't want to say _it's because of you _but she didn't need to, Ronnie knew straight away that Andy was upset about her.

"He doesn't want you here" Ronnie sighed

"He doesn't want me here, he doesn't want me to have anything to do with you whatsoever... He thinks that i'm forcing you into being a mother" Danielle felt awkward, knowing that deep down part of her was voicing these fears not just relaying Andy's words.

"You don't believe that do you?" Ronnie asked, she was intrigued she had gone along just assuming Danielle knew how she felt but judging by the look on Danielle's face she wasn't quite so sure now.

"Well..." Danielle was nervous, but those doubts were there, they were always there.

"Danielle you are the single most important person in my life, no-one else even comes close. I love you, everything about you. Every time I see you my heart skips a beat because I can't believe that you're really my daughter, that I could be that lucky. Force me into being a mother? I am a mother! Probably not a good one but i'm trying my hardest here" Ronnie smiled

Danielle moved across the bed to get closer to Ronnie, cuddling up to her mother and breathing a sigh of relief. "You're a brilliant mum" Danielle smiled finally letting herself fall asleep safely in Ronnie's arms.

***

"My taxi will be here in five minutes and Bec's still fast asleep! Oh Danni darling will you go and wake her up for me?" Glenda asked, panicking as she tried to gather up all her belongings.

Danielle went into the bedroom where Rebecca looked pretty out of it, she started by softly shaking her but getting no response she resorted to shouting. It took a least two minutes before Rebecca even began to stir.

"You look rough" Danielle laughed

"Oh thanks" Rebecca groaned, turning over she just wanted to sleep again but Danielle continued to try and drag her out of bed.

"Glenda's leaving soon, come on and say goodbye!" Danielle groaned, tugging on Rebecca's arm.

Glenda was starting to get teary, cuddling Amy she breathed in her gorgeous baby smell and felt such a desire to stay around and be with her girls.

"You don't have to go mum" Ronnie smiled, trying not to cry.

"Oh darling I do, but it won't be forever you are not going to keep me away from this one for long" Glenda laughed tearfully handing Amy back to Roxy. "Or my other gorgeous granddaughter" she pointed out as Danielle walked in the room shortly followed by Rebecca who was currently resembling a zombie. Glenda gave Danielle a kiss and a big hug before turning to Rebecca.

"Bye mum" Rebecca sighed, cuddling up close and trying not to get upset.

"There's still my offer for you to come with me" Glenda whispered with a smile.

"I'll remember that next time Ronnie won't let me have the remote" Rebecca laughed.

The honk of the taxi's horn made Glenda burst out into tears. "Oh my girls" she sobbed pulling each of them in close again. They all walked outside and bid farewell to Glenda who waved until her taxi had driven off into the distance.

"Bec..." Ronnie laughed, noticing Rebecca was quite freely wandering around the front of the house

"Huh?" Rebecca looked up slightly confused

"You're outside... You're not freaking out" Ronnie pointed out with a big smile. Roxy and Danielle were beaming at her.

"So I am" Rebecca laughed, she looked down at her hand... No one was holding it she was doing this all by herself "oh this is so cool!" She was skipping around, enjoying the feeling of being free

"Yeah you're still wearing pajamas in public babe" Roxy laughed turning to head back into the house.

Rebecca didn't care though, running inside she headed straight for the bathroom and reached for her painkillers... They made her feel like superman, they made her feel free and she couldn't lose this feeling now...

***

"He'll be here at twelve ok?" Ronnie asked Danielle, squeezing her hand to reassure her. Danielle had asked to speak to Joel despite her worries about Andy she knew she needed to meet her biological father and Joel had been more than happy to come over. Danielle felt the butterflies in her stomach, they made her feel sick but there was excitement in there as well.

Ronnie watched her daughter, watching her every move in awe. She couldn't always believe that she was real, that maybe it was all one big dream. When the doorbell rang she noticed how Danielle shivered, she was scared and Ronnie knew that Joel would have to take things slowly. Neither Ronnie or Danielle had chance to answer the door because Roxy had sprinted to greet him.

"Alright J" Roxy grinned pulling him in for a hug.

"Bloody hell Rox, all grown up!" Joel laughed, he couldn't believe that this was the same girl that had annoyed the hell out of him and Ronnie always trying to hang around with them, never letting them be alone.... In fact it was only down to the fact that Roxy was at a roller-skating birthday party for her friend that Danielle was conceived at all!

Ronnie stood in the corridor watching Joel walk towards her, they exchanged a nervous, embarrassed smile. Ronnie pulled him aside and whispered to him "take things slow with her ok?"

Joel entered the living room and Danielle stood to greet him, she looked terrified as she saw this man standing before her looking at her like she was something special, looking at her like she was the greatest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life. Ronnie smiled wishing she could capture this moment on camera, the loving awe that Joel was directing at his little girl and Danielle staring back not knowing what to say but instead searching him, searching everything about him finally putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Finally Danielle knew who she was.

"I wanted to bring you something" Joel finally broke the silence, pulling a box out of his pocket. "I figured I was a little too late for toys and dolls so I went for something a little classier... It belonged to my mother" Joel smiled pulling out a necklace with a gorgeous stone set in it.

"It's beautiful" Danielle smiled, her eyes giving Joel permission to proceed and fasten it around her neck. Moving her hair out of the way to fasten the clasp, Joel was overwhelmed with the feeling of love that flooded out of him. He hoped it wasn't too obvious, he didn't want to suffocate Danielle so soon, like Ronnie had said _take things slow._

Danielle sat down and indicated for Joel to do the same, it had been so much easier with Ronnie because she felt like she already knew her. They'd been through so much together and the desire to be together was so strong that they had just slotted perfectly into a routine that Joel was jealous of.

"Do you have any other kids?" Danielle asked timidly, she wondered whether she had any siblings.

"A step-daughter but thats it, there's only you" Joel smiled.

Ronnie hated how she felt relieved at this, she hated that she was attracted to Joel and she hated the way he kept sneaking glances at her. She had made a promise to Danielle, a promise she fully intended to keep. It took over an hour before the conversation began properly flowing but once it did Ronnie could see Danielle was at ease, telling stories about teenage Ronnie seemed to be the easiest topic, Ronnie didn't mind being laughed at if it got Danielle and Joel talking.

"Seriously your mum actually slapped this girl full on round the face in the middle of assembly, you should have seen the look on the teachers faces, no-one said anything there was just this deathly silence and all of a sudden you hear from the front of the hall 'go Ron!' and there's Roxy sat cheering her on" Joel laughed remembering all the trouble the Mitchell girls had caused at school.

Ronnie had stood on the sidelines all this time, keeping her distance and letting them talk but Danielle flashed a quick look at Ronnie that indicated that she wanted her mother to join them. Curling up on the sofa with Danielle, Joel began telling another story... To an outsider this was just a typical little family scene.

**Can you believe this is chapter 30 already?! Well you'll be glad (or not glad...) to hear that there is still plenty to come, lots of stories that are building up. Remember your ideas and suggestions are always welcome, thanks for the reviews :D**


	31. Out Of Luck

"_She's back at school" Lee noticed, nudging Joel. "Doesn't look like she's coming over" Joel sighed, watching Ronnie slip past with her head down. Roxy followed her, eyeing up anyone who might say anything to Ronnie. Joel stood up but Roxy shot him a glance that told him to sit right back down. It had been a couple of weeks since the baby had been born and Ronnie hadn't spoken to him at all. "I reckon you're dumped mate" Lee pointed out._

There's something about sleeping with someone standing over you, it's almost as if your brain alerts you. Danielle blinked awake to find Rebecca grinning at her, she shuffled backwards trying to regain her composure but feared she just looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"What the hell?!" Danielle gasped

"I was just about to wake you up" Rebecca explained, with a huge grin she started to pull Danielle up.

"Bec it's six in the morning!" Danielle complained pulling away.

"We're going shopping today, we need to get ready!" Rebecca smiled

"Shopping? Bec I know you went outside but shopping... The crowds and everything maybe its just a little too much" Danielle suggested

"Danni I want to go!" Rebecca demanded

"Ok seriously none of the shops will be open till nine so let me go back to sleep and we'll go later ok?" Danielle moaned, slipping back down into bed.

"Danielle we will be stood outside those shops before they even open at nine! I will give you an hour to sleep but then you're up so we can get ready" Rebecca conceded, leaving the bedroom. Danielle rubbed at her face with her hand and groaned, what the hell was up with her at the moment?

***

Roxy woke up and noticed that her alarm clock hadn't gone off... And by alarm clock she meant Amy. Looking over at the crib she noticed her daughter wasn't sleeping, in fact she wasn't there at all! Getting up Roxy headed towards the living room and breathed a sigh of relief to see Amy sat content in Rebecca's arms.

"Oh and here was me thinking she'd run off" Roxy groaned, shuffling over to the fresh pot of coffee that was was sitting on the kitchen counter.

"I heard her like stirring so I thought as I was up i'd look after her" Rebecca mumbled, not moving her eyes from the TV screen.

"Right... Thanks" Roxy narrowed her eyes at Rebecca, shrugged and sipped at her coffee. "Why are you up so early?"

"Me and Danielle are going shopping, need to go early. I've got a doctors appointment later" Rebecca explained

"Ooh going to see the fit doctor!" Roxy giggled

"No going to a different doctor... Want to see someone else" Rebecca muttered

Roxy didn't bother questioning her further, it was pointless. When Danielle stumbled in an hour later Roxy shot her a questioning look but Danielle simply shrugged and rolled her eyes.

***

"Where's Danielle?" Ronnie asked, rushing into the living room fastening an earring into place.

"Gone out" Roxy answered, her head buried in a magazine.

"Out? What do you mean out?" Ronnie rushed.

"Out Ron, as in outside! Her and Bec have gone shopping" Roxy groaned, why was everyone so difficult in this family?

"But she can't! Joel's coming over to see her!" Ronnie complained

"Well i'm sure if you'd told her that she'd have hung around but she's not a mind reader Ron" Roxy sighed "me and Amy are off out"

"You can't! Don't leave me!" Ronnie gasped

"Ronnie phone him and tell him Dan's not here and he has no reason to come over" Roxy grabbed her bag and carried Amy off towards the door, opening the front door she laughed when she saw Joel standing there all poised to knock.

"Ron! Visitor!" Roxy announced before leaving. Ronnie ran to the door to see Joel standing there.

"Oh god Joel I was about to phone you, I didn't realise it but Danielle's gone out" Ronnie explained

"Oh... Well we can still talk can't we?" Joel smiled walking into the house straight past Ronnie. Ronnie sighed before following him into the living room.

They sat on the sofa drinking coffee and wasting time with pointless small talk. It wasn't long before Joel's hand had found its way into Ronnie's. Squeezing her fingers he looked up at her.

"What happened all those years ago? Why did you cut me off?" Joel asked, he was stroking her hand now.

"Joel stop it! I promised Danielle nothing would happen between us!" Ronnie snapped

"Fine but I want an answer Ronnie, you had the baby and that was it. You stopped all contact, you didn't even look at me!" Joel shouted "Why Ronnie?! Why?!"

"Because I was no longer the girl you fell in love with!" Ronnie shouted back "Because I was cold and hard. I am not who you think I am Joel. I'm damaged goods!"

"Rubbish Ron! You're a brilliant mum and an amazing person, these are all just excuses!" Joel was getting frustrated now, furious and frustrated.

"You want to know what kind of person I am Joel? I'm the woman that paid Danielle to steal my mail, i'm the woman that turned on her when she couldn't do what I asked! I'm the woman that called the police on her and got her arrested. I screamed at her, shouted her and I helped her to get an abortion, when she came to me desperate to have me tell her to keep her baby all I could say was that abortion was the best option! She killed her baby because of me Joel and it didn't stop there because when she needed me the most I walked away and left her, I told her to stay away from my family and when she told me who she was I didn't believe her. I threw her out, called her a freak and asked who'd want a daughter like her. That's who I am Joel!" Ronnie yelled, releasing all her pain

Joel stood, completely gobsmacked. He moved closer to Ronnie and held her face in his hands.

"You are not a bad person" Joel assured, kissing her gently.

"This can't happen" Ronnie insisted.

"Danielle never has to know" Joel sighed, kissing Ronnie again and this time she didn't pull away, she didn't stop.

***

Danielle walked back from the tube station, she'd left Rebecca to go to her doctors appointment and travelled back on her own. She held shopping bags in her hands, she hadn't meant to spend so much money but Bec was just so enthusiastic she couldn't help going along with it. Standing outside the house she was sure the car that stood in front belonged to Joel, unlocking the door she walked in the house. It was eerily quiet but the line of clothes that lay scattered on the floor told her everything... Like a row of crumbs leading to Ronnie's bedroom door, Danielle knocked loudly.

"Who is it?" Ronnie panicked, springing apart from Joel.

Danielle pushed the door slightly, the sight before her confirming what she thought. Her mother with a sheet wrapped around her. Red faced and ashamed, Danielle looked at her intently.

"You promised" Danielle uttered turning away...

**Sorry this updates so late but i've been writing the chapter that comes after this which I plan on posting either later tonight or early tomorrow.**


	32. It's Going To Be Hard, When I'm Gone

_There once was a princess who lived locked up in her castle with her evil father, one day she met her prince he was handsome and charming and the two fell in love. Within time the princess fell pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl but the evil father ripped the child from the princesses arms and gave the child to a poor childless couple. The princess spent years dreaming of the day she would hold her baby again and finally, one day, the princess found her baby. But the baby, now a young woman fell into a deep sleep and the princess believed she had lost her daughter once again... Finally when the princess thought all hope had been lost her daughter was magically woken up and finally they were together and they lived happily ever after..._

On paper it was the perfect fairy tale, but the problem with fairy tales is that the story wouldn't just end there, because there's so much more after happily ever after. Cinderella got her prince but what's to say that a year down the line Cinderella didn't walk in a catch the prince in bed with her best friend? Jack and the Beanstalk, well he was a thief essentially wasn't he? He kept running up that beanstalk and stealing the giants possessions, well what if Jack's greed made him carry on stealing? Jack ends up rotting in prison... Happy ending?

The problem Danielle had was that she had kidded herself into believing everything was ok. She remembered what she had thought, about her and Ronnie just papering over the cracks, see when you do that all it takes is one rip in the paper and the cracks are exposed once again.

If you raise someone up so unbelievably high, then really there is only one direction they can go in from there and Ronnie was falling right in front of Danielle's eyes. Falling so fast she couldn't stop it, she couldn't be the one to save her.

The pain of betrayal is hard to take, Ronnie had promised her that nothing would happen with Joel but it was hardly any time at all before she had jumped into bed with him. It wasn't even as if Ronnie could say she was drunk, that it was a mistake, that she didn't mean to because it was the middle of the day and she had been perfectly aware of what she had been doing.

"_Are you leaving your wife? Is Ronnie the one?" Danielle spat, knowing full well what the answer would be._

"_No" Joel admitted shamefaced._

"_So then what? You two have an affair? Then when it all falls apart and it ends can you still see me? Can I still be a part of your life? No! You can't because it will be too hard and this is exactly what I knew would happen" Danielle felt like she was breaking._

_Joel looked at her realising that what she was saying was right. Danielle was a part of Ronnie and Ronnie a part of Danielle. That initial wave of excitement over being a father was being cut short and in the cold light of day he realised he couldn't be a part of Danielle's life, not when Ronnie still had this effect over him. He couldn't chuck away his marriage._

"_Danielle i'm sorry" Joel whimpered, he looked weak and pathetic._

"_Don't apologise, you mean nothing to me. You were just a sperm donor, lets keep it that way" Danielle was determined to sound strong but deep down all her fears were being realised. As Joel walked away Danielle felt her heart begin to break._

Ronnie had told her time after time that Danielle was the most important thing in her life, but now Danielle was starting to wonder. The idea of a daughter, the ghost of 'Amy' that was what Ronnie wanted. If Amy and Danielle were separate it would be the former that Ronnie would be clinging to. Ronnie never wanted Danielle, not even as a friend, yet add D.N.A into the equation and all of a sudden Danielle is everything Ronnie ever wanted... It didn't make sense.

If you don't fix the cracks they get bigger and eventually everything comes tumbling down around you. Danielle had put on this front of being just like Ronnie, stone cold and strong... A rock. But that wasn't her, she was weak and pathetic, she guessed she'd inherited that from her father.

Locked in her room, she leaned against the door to stop Ronnie making any attempt to come in. Ronnie instead slumped against the other side, their heads leaning against the wood mirroring each other. Danielle's head felt like it would explode, this was the final push over the edge that she had been nearing ever closer to since the day she was born.

Being told she was adopted, that stupid desire to find her biological mother meant she had spent her entire life messed up and rejected. When she looked at her parents she couldn't see herself, that was the most painful thing. Then she had lost her adopted mother, the woman that had raised her, the woman that had loved her. Danielle was eighteen years old and she had lost her guiding light, the cracks were getting bigger and in some desperate attempt to mend her broken heart she had tried to find Ronnie. But Ronnie had carried on breaking her, made her doubt herself and doubt whether the person she was would ever be good enough. Danielle had felt her mind start to slip and it had got worse when Archie had found out who she was, the shock of believing that Ronnie would pay to get rid of her. It culminated in Danielle wanting to take Amy and escape from it all. She wanted Ronnie to notice her, really notice her.

But Ronnie had caught her, caught her and rejected her and all of a sudden it was over. Because who'd want a daughter like her? Certainly not Ronnie. Ronnie didn't want anyone like Danielle in her life. So Danielle was walking away, desperate to leave the pain behind but the cracks were so big now she felt like she'd break in two. Suddenly Ronnie had called her back, Ronnie wanted her daughter and there was hope, so much hope....

When she saw the car coming she didn't move. She had told herself she was in shock but deep down she knew why... _You're not good enough to be Ronnie Mitchell's daughter_ she thought. Suddenly it was easier to not move, it was easier to die just out of Ronnie's reach because then there was always that thought of _what if_ rather than the disappointment of having a daughter like Danielle Jones.

By the time she had woken up she felt so completely detached. This endless pulling and hatred of herself, of everything, desperate to stop feeling like this. Desperate to feel better because this hurt too much, it just hurt too much. She was the most fragile she had ever been and all it took was a few kind words from Archie and she was his faithful servant. The voice that told her he was evil had been silenced, her free thought and spirit had been broken and she was nothing but an empty shell.

Even when she had found a friend in Rebecca she had been betrayed. Rebecca had lied to Danielle, left her open and exposed to her biggest weakness like putting a bottle of vodka in front of an alcoholic and saying its ok... Ronnie to Danielle was booze to an alcoholic, drugs to a junkie... What an addict so desires but what will ultimately prove to be their downfall.

It's an aching agony to stand away from your drug and see that its doing you no good. To see that you're destroying yourself, slowly chipping away at everything and anything that was good about you. It wasn't the biggest betrayal in the world but it signified something else altogether. It had shaken her up so much that all of a sudden these shattered fragments of who Danielle was were beginning to fall back into place.

"Danielle?" Ronnie croaked from the other side of the door, bringing Danielle back to reality.

"How can you build a home on weak foundations? It'll just fall down" Danielle sighed. She stood up and walked over to her bed, she began to put her belongings into a bag. Ronnie walked in and stood silently watching for a minute before she walked over and pulled the bag out of Danielle's hand.

"No!" Ronnie insisted, grabbing onto Danielle's wrists.

"I'm sorry Ronnie, I can't do this anymore" Danielle sighed, pulling away and carried on packing.

"Baby i'll fix this i'll make it better, I promise!" Ronnie begged trying to wrap her arms around Danielle knowing that affection from Ronnie always made Danielle weak.

"NO!" Danielle spun round and pushed Ronnie away, she grabbed her bag and walked out of the room, out of the house leaving Ronnie to collapse in a sobbing heap on the floor.


	33. Miserable At Best

_Why hurt yourself for a stranger? Ronnie asked herself this very question as she sat at her desk, agonizing over whether or not she should go with Danielle to the second appointment at the abortion clinic. What was it about that girl? Was it just that she reminded her of herself? Danielle was so clingy, it scared Ronnie, she didn't do friends, she didn't do caring about people. Her mind flashed back to the two of them sat in the clinic and she remembered the innocence slowly being stripped away from Danielle as what she was about to do became reality. How could Ronnie tell this girl to keep her baby? That was selfish, it was what Ronnie wanted not what Danielle necessarily wanted. What was she even doing in Walford? Ronnie had wondered this and had even voiced her concerns to Danielle when she'd come for the job interview, what she didn't understand was why Danielle was so upset when she told her this... What she really didn't understand was why she cared enough to follow her out into the street. She had to cut ties with this girl, she was a painful reminder of everything Ronnie had lost, there was no way Ronnie could go to that abortion clinic._

Something had happened... Roxy didn't know what, but something was different. Stepping into the house it was almost as if the atmosphere had completely changed. Pulling Amy's pram inside, even Amy didn't make a noise. There was just this eery silence that unnerved Roxy. Checking first the living room and then the kitchen there was no-one around, Ronnie's room stood empty and the only door left to push was the one that led to Rebecca and Danielle's room.

Ronnie sat on the bedroom floor, the same heap as when Danielle had left, but almost an hour later, the tears had dried up and all she could do was gaze blankly with a glassy stare. Digby was in Ronnie's arms, in the rush Danielle had forgotten to take him. Roxy stood looking confused, it was like they had travelled back to a few months ago because the sight before her looked just as grieving Ronnie had looked.

"Ron..." Roxy started, moving forward, nervously placing her hand on Ronnie's shoulder.

"How can you build a home on weak foundations? It'll just fall down..." Ronnie uttered, remembering Danielle's words. Danielle had spoken so calmly and clearly and she had walked away.

"Ronnie what's going?" Roxy asked, sitting down next to Ronnie and grabbing hold of her hand.

"I've lost her Rox, i've lost my baby again" Ronnie sobbed, gripping onto her sister she sobbed into Roxy's chest. Roxy didn't know what to say, she didn't know what had happened so she simply sat comforting Ronnie.

***

Danielle sat in the Slater's living room, Stacey was watching Danielle watch the TV, looking at how eerily calm Danielle looked. It was particularly strange seeing as a short while ago Danielle had turned up on Stacey's doorstep asking _"is my bed still free?" _Stacey had tried asking what was wrong but Danielle had seemed unwilling to talk. She knew it had something to do with Ronnie and the desire to go and talk to that frosty cow and ask her what she had done to Danielle was growing stronger by the minute.

"Do I have two heads or something Stace?" Danielle asked "because you keep on staring at me and i'm starting to wonder..."

Stacey smiled but her face immediately turned to a look of concern. "What has she done now Dan?"

"Nothing... Not really. I just realised that things aren't quite so perfect as I thought they were" Danielle admitted, her smile was faltering and Stacey knew that deep down Danielle was struggling.

"Well you obviously still want to try with her...? I mean you're here and not on a train to Telford" Stacey questioned, maybe it wasn't all Ronnie's fault. Stacey had been perfectly aware of the illusion that Danielle had built up about Ronnie and the perfect life they would have... If Ronnie had shattered that surely she was only being human.

"I don't want to go back to Telford because I don't want to have my dad say 'I told you so'. She's everything he said she was" Danielle sighed, cuddling up to a pillow and turning her gaze back to the television.

"Dan whatever happened between you and Ronnie... It's just normal mother/daughter stuff the amount of times i've rowed with my mum" Stacey smiled.

"When bad things happened and I argued with my mum, my proper mum, my adopted mum, everything was ok. Because even though we were arguing there was that safety net of knowing that her love for me was unconditional and knowing that whatever happened she would be there. There was such a strong basis to our love that it didn't matter if we fought because it was shatterproof. I don't feel like that with Ronnie... I feel like if we row, or I pass judgements on her actions then she can quite easily push me away" Danielle let all these thoughts and feelings flood out and Stacey was quite taken back. Everything between Ronnie and Danielle had seemed so perfect on the surface.

***

"Babe I saw her go into the Slater's a little while ago... She hasn't gone far" Roxy smiled, lifting Ronnie's head up.

"Why didn't you tell me this straight away!" Ronnie shouted, getting up she wiped her face and grabbed a pair of trainers before heading to the door.

"Ronnie! Ronnie give her some space!!" Roxy screamed after her, but her cries fell on death ears because Ronnie was straight out the door.

***

It was a thundering bang that interrupted Stacey and Danielle's conversation. It almost sounded as if the door would come flying off its hinges. Stacey peaked through the curtain, not that she needed too she already knew who it would be.

"It's Ronnie..." Stacey started

"Ignore her" Danielle insisted, barely reacting to the sound of Ronnie punching the door.

Stacey stood awkwardly, not knowing quite what to say or do. It wasn't long before Ronnie was shouting through the letterbox.

"Baby! Come on Danielle let me talk to you! Danielle you can't just cut me off like this, i'm your mother!" Ronnie shouted until she felt herself get hoarse. Even Stacey was beginning to feel sorry for her.

Danielle sat still though, not flinching, not hearing a word. Instead she turned the television up louder and encouraged Stacey to sit down, Stacey continued to stand by the window though. Eventually the banging and shouting stopped but Stacey could see Ronnie was still outside, sitting on the doorstep.

"She's still out there Dan" Stacey pointed out

"She'll have a long wait..." Danielle dismissed, completely zoning out. It was almost like a game, this time Ronnie was the one chasing, Ronnie was the one left defeated, Ronnie was the one thrown out on the street.


	34. My Big Mistake

_Since the day she was born Amy had been the cause of much drama. Her premature birth, Sean not being allowed in to see the baby. Christian was going to be her surrogate father for all of five minutes before Sean and Roxy were reunited but it wasn't long before the world fell apart. Jack was revealed as being her father, Sean had kidnapped her before she'd been returned to Roxy by Stacey. Then it wasn't long before Roxy and Sean had gone to the lake and Sean had tried to kill them... Only for them to be saved by Ronnie and Jack. Sean had disappeared off into the night and Jack had tried to be a dad. There was the drama of almost being kidnapped by Danielle and the drama of her christening which had been possibly the biggest farce the vicar had ever seen. Oh yes Amy Christina Margaret Mitchell was only just at the beginning of a drama filled life..._

Ronnie rested her head on the Slaters front door, she'd been there at least an hour and was getting used to the stares from people that walked past. No-one had dared ask Ronnie what was wrong. Charlie pulled up outside his house in the cab, hesitating before getting out. Stacey had already called him and warned him about what was waiting outside. Finally turning off the engine Charlie sighed before stepping outside the cab and walking towards where Ronnie sat.

"Ronnie..." Charlie started, he wasn't sure what to say.

"Can you ask my daughter to talk to me? Just five minutes Charlie please" Ronnie begged, to Charlie Ronnie looked like a scared little girl.

"I'll do my best love" Charlie promised, stepping past Ronnie and letting himself into the house. He walked into the living room to see Stacey sat looking concerned but Danielle barely looked fazed. "Will you give me a minute with Danielle love?" Charlie asked Stacey, Stacey nodded and ran off into the kitchen.

Charlie sat down and turned off the TV. Danielle looked at him sightly shocked but didn't say anything, she had far too much respect for Charlie to argue with him.

"Darling will you give Ronnie five minutes? Whatever she's done it can't be that bad" Charlie gave a warm smile of encouragement.

"I don't want to Charlie, not right now. Will you please ask her to go?" Danielle begged.

Charlie sighed but accepted Danielle's decision. Now was the hard part, convincing Ronnie to leave. Charlie was a parent, he knew how hard it was and he knew what it was like to let your child down.

"Ronnie, Danielle doesn't want to talk right now" Charlie placed a caring hand on Ronnie's shoulder.

"But I need to" Ronnie whimpered.

"Why don't you give her a bit of space and i'll try and talk her round. This won't be forever Ronnie that little girl loves you" Charlie assured, Ronnie finally nodded accepting defeat. She stood up and shakily made her way back across the Square.

***

"So Ronnie and Danielle are having a major argument?" Rebecca asked Roxy, Roxy was pacing around looking concerned.

"Yeah... Oh i'm going to have to find her Bec, keep an eye on Amy yeah?" Roxy panicked, heading towards the door.

"Oh you don't want to take Amy with you...?" Rebecca asked but it was too late Roxy had already flew out the door.

Rebecca worried, she needed a little something to take the edge off... Watching her niece play on the floor she told herself that Roxy wouldn't be away for too long and Amy was quiet... Knocking back some of the pills she'd gotten herself prescribed that afternoon, she'd swallowed them down with a massive gulp of water.

***

"Ron!" Roxy called searching around for her sister, it wasn't long before she found her on Arthur's bench in the middle of the square. "There you are!"

"She doesn't even want to talk to me" Ronnie muttered, bowing her head. Roxy hated seeing her sister like this.

"She'll come round" Roxy assured.

***

Rebecca felt that calming dizziness come over her, she was becoming more and more tired and felt herself falling. The bottle of pills hadn't been properly fastened and as Rebecca felt asleep the bottle rolled off her lap and onto the floor spilling the contents. Amy was laying on her play-mat on the floor but all of a sudden there was a new toy to play with as she reached out and grabbed hold of one of the pills...

***

"Why don't you go home, i'll do an emergency run to the shop for chocolate and we'll have a night in. Then when you're feeling better tomorrow you can try talking to her again, or I can? She might listen to me" Roxy smiled

"Yeah that might be good" Ronnie nodded, stepping up to walk back to the house.

"Ok well i've got to see Christian about something as well so i'll be about fifteen minutes" Roxy smiled walking off.

Ronnie sighted and made her way back, opening the door she walked into the living room, at first she smiled at the sight of Rebecca asleep on the sofa but it wasn't long before Ronnie noticed the little tablets that littered the floor. She ran over and began to shake Rebecca who groaned and opened her eyes indicating she was ok. Then Ronnie looked down and saw Amy, the pills were in reach and Ronnie had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach what if she'd reached out and put one in her mouth? What if she'd swallowed one?

"Bec! Bec wake up! I need to know how many pills you had left and how long you've been asleep! Bec I need to know if Amy could have taken one!" Ronnie shouted, shaking Rebecca. There was no response however, Rebecca groaned and turned over, ignoring all the fuss. Ronnie flapped with frustration and picked Amy up, checking her mouth to see if there was any evidence that Amy had swallowed something.

"Ok baby we're going to get you to the hospital so they can check you out" Ronnie worried, leaning her head against Amy's she rushed out the door. Jack was then walking past so Ronnie rushed over and explained what was happening, racing over to Jack's car they drove to the hospital with Ronnie phoning Roxy on the way. There was no answer so she left message.

"Roxy I don't want you to worry but you need to get down the hospital as quick as you can ok? I don't know for certain but i'm worried she's swallowed something. Jack's taking us to the hospital. Keep calm darling i'm looking after her" Ronnie rushed holding Amy tight as Jack looked on his face etched with panic.


	35. Downfall Of Us All

_It was shortly after the stabbing, Roxy had made her way into Rebecca's hospital room and she had sat by her sisters bedside. She had looked at her, looked at how soft and innocent she looked and she realised that the bond was finally there. "I'm glad you're my sister" Roxy smiled, stroking Rebecca's hair. "Sisters stick together, you, me and Ronnie... The Mitchell sisters."_

"She hasn't ingested anything, she's a very lucky little girl. What i'm more concerned about is how she was exposed to heavy duty painkillers in the first place?" the doctor looked at Ronnie and Jack, narrowing her eyes. These two didn't look like the kind of parents to be messing around with drugs or to be irresponsible enough to leave a baby around them.

"My sister was looking after her, I think they had some kind of reaction with the sleeping pills she's taking and she fell asleep. I don't know what happened she must have dropped the bottle..." Ronnie was searching for an explanation but she couldn't explain the state Rebecca was in.

"Be a little more choosy about your babysitters in future Mrs Branning" the doctor scolded, Ronnie blushed as she realised that the doctor had assumed her and Jack were married, she probably assumed Amy was her baby as well.

"Oh my god Ron tell me she's alright?" Roxy gasped, she had tears rolling down her cheeks and Christian was right behind her.

"She's fine, she didn't swallow anything" Ronnie assured.

"No thanks to your bloody sister Rox!" Jack snapped, protective stroking his little girls arm who was now fast asleep completely unaware of the drama that surrounded her.

"Ok who are the parents here? I'm getting confused" the doctor noted raising an eyebrow.

"I'm her mum" Roxy smiled picking up her daughter and holding her close.

"I'm her dad" Jack confirmed

"I'm her sister, not the sister that dropped the pills though I should add" Ronnie sighed

"I'm mums gay best friend" Christian winked. Ronnie and Roxy couldn't help but laugh as the doctor shook her head and turned to walk out the room.

"You'll have some forms to fill in but otherwise she's fine to go." The doctor finished leaving .

"Ronnie what the hell happened?" Roxy asked, she was only now beginning to calm down, her heart had started to race the minute she got the message.

"I tell you what happened! You left our baby with your junkie sister, she passed out and Amy nearly got a hold of her drugs. If Ronnie hadn't gotten home when she did Amy really could have taken something!" Jack snapped, he knew shouting at Roxy wasn't helping but he had just been so scared that he might lose Amy. Both Ronnie and Roxy looked in shock hearing that word 'junkie' surely not... But as things began to click into place, the mood swings, the sleeping and being up and down all the time. Was it possible their sister had a proble,?

"Come on lets get off home" Ronnie insisted, everyone was getting too angry.

***

Rebecca rolled over on the sofa, a soft groan but she couldn't open her eyes yet. Part of her brain was screaming at her to wake up but the drugs were dulling it, softening the voice so that it was little more than a soft whisper.

Roxy stormed in the house, she ran over to the sink and filled a glass with water. She walked over to Rebecca and proceeded to dump the water over Rebecca's head. Rebecca shot up, suddenly wide awake and stared at Roxy in confusion and amazement.

"Get out! Get out of this house and don't come back!" Roxy screeched, she was furious her cheeks were burning red with rage and her eyes showed she was deadly serious.

"Rox... What..." Rebecca muttered, she could barely register what was happening just that Roxy was furious.

"You could have killed my little girl you stupid irresponsible little cow!" Roxy screamed "I trusted you with her... I trusted you" Roxy had broken down in tears now, the emotion of the past hour or so had built up to such an extreme level. Ronnie rushed in, having heard all the commotion and wrapped her arms around Roxy. She glared at Rebecca, kicking herself for not noticing before, pale and thin, dark circles round her eyes... Roxy suddenly ripped herself from Ronnie's arms and made her way into Rebecca's room, she searched drawers and under the bed until she found what she was looking for. Bottles of painkillers, sleeping tablets, bottles of things Roxy had never even heard of, a stash of drugs. Ronnie watched astounded, she didn't know what to say.

"Get out of our house" Roxy repeated, holding the evidence in her hand.

"Ronnie..." Rebecca begged, looking for support but finding nothing.

"Roxy's right, you need to leave" Ronnie confirmed, it broke her heart but she was just so upset about what could have happened to Amy.

Shoving a few things in a bag, Rebecca tried to subtly reach for some of the pills but Roxy was quick to snatch them away walking off into the bathroom. It wasn't long before a flush could be heard and Rebecca knew they were all gone.

"I didn't mean to..." Rebecca promised, looking into Ronnie's eyes as she made her way towards the door. Stepping outside Rebecca didn't have a clue what she would do next and decided to walk, clear her head. Reaching the park, she sat on the swing, desperately trying to think straight.

"You ok?" A voice asked, Rebecca looked up and saw a woman staring back at her, she vaguely recognised her but they hadn't met. "You're Ronnie Mitchell's little sister right?"

"Yeah... Who are you?" Rebecca asked

"Janine Butcher. You look upset" Janine smiled, she was looking at this girl and she was sure she could see the signs of a problem, Janine recognised them because once upon a time that had been here. Rock bottom.

"I'm homeless" Rebecca admitted, she felt sad saying those words but she knew she deserved it.

"Well I have a spare room... I'm sure we could arrange a little pick me up as well" Janine winked, flashing and evil smile.

"What do you mean?" Rebecca was wary

"I have contacts... I'm guessing your little problem is why the Addams family sent you packing?" Janine almost looked comforting but all she was really doing was seizing an opportunity. It was only a week before she would be going to visit Archie in prison and she was guessing he would be very happy with her latest development... The downfall of the Mitchell sisters would begin with the weakest.


	36. Back To Me

_Ronnie sat alone her finger poised over the call button to ring Rebecca's number but something was holding her back. She had hated making her leave but there was no way Roxy would have let her stay, Ronnie knew they just needed a bit of time to calm down. The thing with the painkillers was worrying but in Ronnie's head she had convinced herself that this would be the wake up call Rebecca needed. It wasn't that bad, she'd stop now... It was such a naive way of thinking but with everything that was happening with Danielle Ronnie couldn't think straight. _

She didn't know why she was here. She wasn't sure what it would achieve but she had wanted to know so badly whether Amy was ok. Ronnie had looked surprised when she had opened the door to see her daughter standing in front of her. It had been easy at first because Danielle didn't have to speak to Ronnie, she occupied herself with Amy and Roxy. But it wasn't long before the effects of an incredibly long day of excitement had caught up on Amy and she was fast asleep in no time, Roxy had carried her off to her cot leaving mother and daughter sat alone. Ronnie didn't dare say anything but Danielle simply interpreted it as not wanting to say something and so the silence continued, neither knowing how to break down the wall that stood between them.

"I made a mistake..." Ronnie eventually started, she knew it was pointless but she had to try and stop this. She was trying to read every emotion on Danielle's face but it was like she'd shut down completely cold and hard. Danielle didn't realise it but she truely was her mothers daughter.

"Its not just that... There's a lot of things wrong here Ronnie" Danielle sighed. Hearing Danielle call her Ronnie instead of mum broke Ronnie's heart, it was actual physical pain.

"Tell me what I can do to fix it and i'll fix it" Ronnie promised, her eyes longed for Danielle to open up to her. This wasn't unnoticed by Danielle, Ronnie's eyes always told the truth about how she was feeling. It was a weird sensation for Danielle to be fighting the desire to just be held in Ronnie's arms but she knew she was doing the right thing.

"There's no simple answer" Danielle was struggling to explain herself and Ronnie was getting frustrated. It would be so easy for Danielle just to ignore everything and forget that she'd been hurt over what had happened with Joel but that wasn't going to make things better.

"I can't go back in time Dan, I can't not give you away but you came looking for me, you wanted me" Ronnie insisted, there was so much hurt in their past but none of it could be changed, they were open wounds that had been infected by betrayal and now it was harder than ever to heal them.

"Look where that got me! Ronnie you don't even like me!" Danielle snapped, her fists were clenched and anger was bubbling away.

"Don't like you? Danielle I love you" Ronnie promised, she didn't understand how Danielle could possibly think this. The past few weeks had been perfect.

"I just happen to be your daughter Ronnie, it's biology. You choose your friends but you can't choose your family." Danielle mused

"I can though Dan, I don't have to have you in my life at all. I have no legal tie to you. Instead I choose you Danielle, I choose to have you in my life because I love you" Ronnie was edging ever closer to Danielle.

"But Joel..." Danielle started, she knew her basis for arguing with Ronnie was weak but it was symbolic of so much more.

"...Was a mistake. I am not perfect Danielle" Ronnie felt like she was shattering an illusion, she just wasn't sure which one of them had built it in the first place.

"I want to take things slowly this time..." Danielle began, granted this wasn't perfect but she'd started on the difficult road to reconciliation.

"Ok." Ronnie smiled, baby steps were still steps.

Danielle flushed red "...if I hug you it doesn't mean everything is better... I just need..." Danielle was stuttering now, she didn't know how to explain that even though she was furious with Ronnie and though she really did want to build up everything from the beginning slowly and securely, she still longed for that contact. Luckily for Danielle Ronnie knew exactly what she meant, holding Danielle in her arms was the most natural thing in the world it was that desperate desire for affection that despite everything still burned strong.

"Why is this so hard?" Danielle asked, her voice sounded like a little girl. She had everything she wanted but it still wasn't right.

"We just need to work at it. If its what we both want then we'll get there in the end" Ronnie sighed, stroking Danielle's hair. She hoped this wasn't too much, she was just taking chances here. It wasn't long until both had fallen asleep.

***

Opening her eyes, Ronnie was suddenly aware of how much discomfort she was in. Realising she'd fallen asleep on the sofa, Ronnie began to stretch, the first thing she noticed was that Danielle had gone. Looking around the room Ronnie quickly spotted a note that Danielle had left _Speak soon x. _With a deep sigh Ronnie made her way into the kitchen, spotting the open box of Crunchy Nut on the counter, _well at least she had breakfast first, _Ronnie thought. That natural mothering instinct kicking in before sitting down and pouring herself a bowl. Breakfast alone just wasn't the same and she ate silently thinking of how different things had been just a week ago.

"_There's no milk!" Danielle complained looking at the empty bottle that stood on the table. "Yeah sorry about that" Rebecca giggled eating her own cereal. "Whatever, i'll have toast" Danielle sighed. "Yeah no bread either babe" Roxy grinned, biting into a piece of toast. "We really need to go shopping" Ronnie smiled, eating the last yogurt. "I am so going to the cafe" Danielle rolled her eyes and made her way towards the door._


	37. Risky Business

"_Happy Birthday Ronnie!" Roxy screeched running in Ronnie's room and jumping on her bed. "Sixteen! Think of all the things you can do!.. Well you've already done all of them but at least now they're legal" Roxy grinned. "Are you two getting ready for school?" Archie asked standing in the doorway. "Aren't you going to wish Ronnie happy birthday?" Roxy asked looking at her father expectantly. "Yeah... Happy Birthday V, there's a card on the kitchen table." Archie grunted, there was no emotion, no love. _

Rebecca ran a hand through her hair, it felt greasy and horrible but she didn't have the energy to go and shower. She was beginning to feel a bit jittery it had been a few hours since... She just needed something to keep her calm, keep her focused. Looking up as the door to the flat opened she watched as Janine strolled in, Rebecca looked at her expectantly but Janine kept her waiting for a couple of minutes before chucking a bag of pills at her.

"That should keep you going for a little while" Janine smirked, she loved the power she had at the moment and she couldn't wait to talk to Archie about it.

"I'll find you the money, I just need to get myself straight" Rebecca promised, she didn't know why Janine was being so good to her but any rational part of her brain that would have told her to run away was being dulled by the drugs.

"I know you will. Don't worry about it" Janine smiled walking off to her room and locating her visiting order for Archie.

***

"It's so quiet" Roxy moaned, Amy was fast asleep and Ronnie was curled up on the sofa lost in her own little world.

"Well that would have something to do with losing two teenagers in the space of a few days" Ronnie muttered.

Roxy simply rolled her eyes and picked up a magazine. She refused to talk about letting Rebecca come home, Ronnie was getting worried as she wasn't answering her phone and she didn't have a clue where her sister had gone.

"It's Danielle's birthday soon..." Ronnie sighed, their first birthday together and they were barely even talking.

"Well you need to do something incredible Ron, this is your chance to show her how much you love her." Roxy had suddenly perked up, ideas whizzing around in her mind at what they could do for Danielle.

"Any ideas?" Ronnie asked pulling herself up and looking over at Roxy

"Actually..." Roxy started a massive smile spreading across her face.

***

"You look rough" Janine smiled.

"Thanks for that, if the only reason you're here is to insult me then you might as well have not bothered" Archie growled but he finished with a smile, seeing someone even if it was Janine was a small comfort that broke up the endless monotony of his days behind bars.

"Oh and who else are you going to send your visiting orders to?" Janine smirked, she couldn't wait to tell Archie all about what had been happening.

"You look like you've been up to something..." Archie noticed, raising an eyebrow.

"How much money is the downfall of each sister worth?" Janine asked, licking her lips like she was savoring the moment.

"I only want you to sort out Veronica" Archie complained, even though Roxy had rejected him she had always been his little girl and he didn't want anything to happen to her.

"Well hurting the people around her is the best way to destroy her Archie, surely you know that" Janine insisted, she needed Archie onside, she needed to know that what she was doing was worth it and would get the financial reward she so longed for.

"Danielle?" Archie asked, losing his granddaughter was no great loss. A willing sacrifice for the cause.

"Eventually... But she's too heavily protected. Your other daughter has a little problem Archie, a problem i'm going to exploit" Janine almost giggled, it was such a simple plan but it would work so well. Like dominoes she was going to push the first and the rest would fall.

"Problem?" Archie asked, thinking about his 'other daughter' pained him. He couldn't believe he didn't know, that Glenda had gotten such an important piece of information past him. The look on her face as he sank the knife into her stomach, it was never supposed to be like that.

"A little dependance issue." Janine explained.

"Right and how does this affect Ronnie?" Archie asked, destroying Rebecca was of no use if it didn't hurt Ronnie.

"Because Ronnie and Roxy have thrown her out, something to do with Amy. Anyway Ronnie's been calling her ever since because as you well know Ronnie does this weird maternal thing and she cares a lot about Rebecca. Your wife entrusted her precious little girl to Ronnie, she feels responsible. so when Rebecca falls Ronnie will as well" Janine answered, it was such a developed plan one that was so perfect.

"How do you know so much about those girls?" Archie asked

"Well your youngest daughter is currently living in my flat with me! The third Mitchell i've had in there it's almost a halfway house for the rejects of your family." Janine laughed

"Do what you will Janine" Archie nodded, he trusted Janine to do a good job.

***

Danielle was sat in the Slater's front room, watching tv again it was never as much fun as when she watched it with her family. Rebecca commenting on things and making jokes about the programme, Roxy perving over any hot guy that came on screen and Ronnie sitting back smiling at all the comments. She suddenly heard the letterbox flap and she looked confused momentarily, it was too late for post. She walked over to find an envelope addressed to her, opening it up a pink card sat inside the envelope.

_Miss Danielle Jones, you are cordially invited to a fun filled day of celebration beginning at 10.00 am on the 26th June 2009 and ending well into 27th!! Be there girly, this will be one birthday you will never forget..._

Danielle smiled, it was Roxy's handwriting but she knew Ronnie would be involved. She hadn't even thought about her birthday, she certainly hadn't planned on how she would spend it but she was guessing that whatever Ronnie and Roxy had planned would be pretty special, holding the invitation close she turned it over and noticed another note this time in Ronnie's handwriting.

_Our first birthday together baby x_

**I know there was no R&D in this chapter but the birthday chapter is going to be cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Thank you so much for all the reviews, they help to shape the story and know what you like and don't like. :D**


	38. The Party Song, Part One

"_Ok angel are you going to open it?" Andy asked as Danielle stared inquisitively at the tiny box in front of her. "Don't rush her Andy" Lizzie insisted. Danielle thought she'd already been given all her presents, reaching for the box, as Andy began to explain. "You're old enough for this now, you remember how mummy and daddy told you that you were adopted?" Danielle nodded, she understood. "Well this is something your birth mummy wanted you to have" Lizzie explained, giving Danielle a small nod to tell her that it was ok to open the box, it wouldn't hurt her feelings. Danielle looked inside to find a locket and opened up to find a girl staring back at her. "Is that her?" Danielle asked. "Yes darling" Andy confirmed. Danielle ran her finger across the picture... "pretty" was all she uttered before fastening it round her neck and bounding out the room to play a game with Gareth._

"Are you sure about this?" Ronnie asked looking around the freshly decorated room, Roxy's plan was a little 'out there' and Ronnie didn't have a good enough knowledge of her daughters sense of humour to know whether or not they were going to be able to pull this off.

"Oh this is truely the best birthday that girl will have ever had" Roxy promised, holding onto Ronnie's hand. She knew how nervous Ronnie was and she just wanted her to relax and enjoy it.

A knock at the door made both girls jump at once, excitement, apprehension so many emotions. Roxy made a dart for the door, she was going to make this as easy on Ronnie as possible by breaking the ice in any way she could.

"Happy birthday darling!" Roxy screeched pulling Danielle into a clenching hug, Danielle couldn't help but smile despite how nervous she was feeling.

"Happy birthday baby" Ronnie smiled next to her, their embrace was warm but not without awkwardness. Ronnie prayed that awkwardness would fade away throughout the course of the day.

"Ok Danni, twenty birthday parties was a little bit difficult to pull off so we've settled on three..." Roxy began to explain.

"Three?" Danielle gasped, she was taken back already at the effort they'd gone to.

"Oh yes, I did mention this was going to be a birthday you'd never forget didn't I?" Roxy grinned, Ronnie was hanging back but Danielle could see she was just as excited.

"But you can't go in the living room yet ok, so we'll take you to present central! I'll give you me and Amy's present later I think you've got enough to deal with for now..." Roxy explained taking Danielle through to her bedroom.

The sight took Danielle's breath away, twenty balloons tied to twenty different boxes with a card in front of each one. Danielle looked up to Ronnie who was smiling nervously.

"This is all for me?" Danielle asked, barely daring herself to believe it.

"I don't know anyone else with twenty birthdays to catch up on" Ronnie beamed, watching as Danielle walked round completely amazed.

"Right you two do one to five and i'm going to shut this door because there's top secret stuff going on, you've only got half and hour!" Roxy instructed, rushing off.

"Should I be worried?" Danielle laughed

"Just remember... This first party, her idea!" Ronnie warned. She took Danielle's hand and led it to the first box, reaching for the card Danielle smiled at the massive number one on the front.

_To my darling daughter, happy first birthday, love Mummy xxx_

"They must have given you a really weird look in the card shop" Danielle laughed despite the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

"Well its not every day someone buys twenty birthday cards" Ronnie admitted, getting upset herself.

Danielle moved through the first five boxes, beautiful jewellery, soft toys, silly things that meant so much. Danielle couldn't believe it, smiling as she opened every box occasionally looking up at Ronnie.

***

"Why exactly are we doing this?" Bianca asked as her and Ricky led Morgan, Tiffany and Liam over the road.

"We're doing Ronnie and Roxy a favour" Ricky explained with a sigh

"Who says I wanna do them a favour!" Bianca complained

"We get peace from the kids for a couple of hours" Ricky smiled

"Well I suppose if we're helping out a neighbour..." Bianca conceded, as Ricky rolled his eyes.

***

"How is that?" Jane asked, laying out trays of food looking to Roxy for approval.

"Perfect and thanks for bringing Bobby" Roxy smiled looking over at Bobby who sat looking rather excited in the corner, Billy was playing with William and Janet as Ben walked around with Amy. A knock on the door sent Roxy rushing over as she welcomed Bianca's clan, shortly followed by Max with Abi and Oscar. Back in the living room she assembled all the kids.

"Right I need you all to be really quiet until its time for Danielle to come in ok?" Roxy asked

There was a general 'yes' that was whispered from all the kids, Max walked over looking slightly bemused.

"So explain to me again exactly what you're doing?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Danielle's birthday extravaganza is all about making up for the lost years, this is her 5th Birthday party!" Roxy laughed, she knew it sounded crazy but she was hoping Danielle would appreciate the silliness.

"She's going to love it" Max assured, looking round it was clear the amount of effort that had gone in, balloons, the tables decorated, each kid given a party hat and a collection of party games.

"Right we're ready for you" Roxy called into the bedroom, Danielle stood up and looked even more nervous than before. She'd heard a lot of weird noises coming from the living room and she really didn't have a clue what was waiting for her. Ronnie took her hand once again, Danielle not minding just enjoying the support, and made her way along the hallway. Pushing open the door she couldn't quite believe it when all the kids popped out and screamed 'surprise!' Danielle burst out laughing, not quite believing what she was seeing. Looking over at Ronnie she cracked the biggest smile she could manage, Ronnie grinned back with a giggle.

The party progressed, it was the most fun she'd had in ages. Dancing around with Amy, playing games it was fun to feel like a child again, worry free and just having fun.

"Do you not have any friends?" Tiffany asked looking up at Danielle "because its ok, we'll all be your friends"

Danielle didn't quite know what to say, she started laughing again before joining Tiffany in a game. The two hours passed quickly and before she knew it almost everyone had gone, the kids all equipped with a party bag and cake.

"I can't believe that" Danielle smiled, it had been so perfect and so completely random that it could have only come from the mind of Roxy.

"I'm exhausted" Roxy sighed flopping down in a chair "she's still going strong" Roxy laughed pointing out Ronnie who was still dancing with Janet.

"She's having fun" Danielle beamed, it was so nice to Ronnie carefree and relaxed.

"Well I have to say I can't quite believe we had a Mitchell party that didn't break out into a fight" Billy laughed, holding onto a sleeping William.

"Well it nearly all got heated when Bobby and Tiffany both went for that last sandwich" Roxy teased. "Party number two soon Danni!"

"I think i'm going to collapse by the time I get to number three" Danielle admitted.

"I better get these three back so I can't start setting up for number three" Billy smiled

"Thanks for doing that Bill" Roxy said standing up and helping Billy get all of Amy, Janet and William's things together. Ben grabbed hold of Amy whilst Billy got William and Janet ready to go. "Our next party isn't really Amy's scene" Roxy explained to Danielle.

"Ah its no problem and i've got Phil, Peggy, Ben and Jay to help" Billy admitted, the sound of everyone pulling together for her party made Danielle feel so completely loved she could have started crying right there and then.

"Right you, boxes six through to fifteen before we go out!" Roxy instructed, she had a tight schedule for today. Kissing goodbye to her daughter she bid farewell to Billy, Ben and the kids.

More cards and more little presents, silly things that Danielle had mentioned and Ronnie had remembered, each present made her smile even more. Reaching box fifteen she pulled out a pair of... Roller skates?

"Erm..." Danielle started, not quite knowing what to say.

"Guess where we're going!" Roxy laughed.

The three women, glided round the roller-skating rink... Well glided and stumbled! It was such a laugh pulling each other round. After skating for an hour they made their way to a booth where a cake was brought over and all the fellow skaters joined in singing 'happy birthday' another special moment and lots of photos were taken. Danielle couldn't help wishing Rebecca was here, it didn't seem like family without her but she carried on enjoying herself.

Arriving home Danielle still couldn't believe the day she was having. Going in the bedroom once again, she noticed how Roxy had left her and Ronnie alone. Sixteen had contained more jewellery, reaching for box seventeen she peeled back the wrapping paper and looked inside... A key? Danielle looked puzzled and reached for the envelope underneath pulling out a photo of a new car.

"That would be yours" Ronnie explained, she knew it was extravagant but she wanted everything to be so special.

"But... But... I can't drive" Danielle gasped, she could barely get over the shock. Ronnie simply nodded towards box eighteen, Danielle unwrapped it to find she had vouchers for driving lessons, Ronnie really had thought of everything.

"This is too much" Danielle stuttered, she was shaking now.

"No its not" Ronnie insisted, indicating for her to move onto box nineteen. Slowly unwrapping the box, Danielle pulled out a beautiful blue dress, with silver high heels. It was breathtaking.

"For tonight" Ronnie explained "If you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" Danielle squealed stroking the soft material. Box twenty sat waiting, how could anything top what she had received so far?... It seemed impossible. Pulling out the tiny box she opened it to find a locket, it looked far more expensive than her old one exquisitely beautiful, Ronnie pulled a second one from her jacket pocket that matched.

"I thought it was about time we got new ones" Ronnie smiled, clicking her own open to reveal a picture of baby Danielle next to a current picture of her. Danielle did the same to find both the faces of fourteen year old Ronnie and how her beautiful mother looked now. Tears welled up in both of their eyes as they fastened each others lockets on. Taking Danielle's head in her hands Ronnie looked directly into Danielle's eyes.

"You are my everything" she insisted and Danielle believed her...

**Long chapter I know but there was a lot to squeeze in and we still haven't got to birthday party number three! Hope you're enjoying it, thanks for all the reviews.**


	39. The Party Song, Part Two

_Telling Paul she was pregnant wasn't an option. Telling Stacey she was pregnant wasn't an option either. If this was a normal situation then sharing this information with the father of her child and her best friend wouldn't have been so difficult but it wasn't a normal situation and Danielle could tell now what Paul's reaction would be. As for Stacey she just didn't want to burden her considering everything that had happened with Jean recently. In Danielle's mind there was no-one... Except maybe... No she couldn't, could she?_

Ronnie held Danielle's hand tightly as they made their way over to R'n'R. _Let her have today, _Danielle thought. But it was as much for her as it was to Ronnie. She knew Ronnie loved her now, they just had to get to know each other, properly this time. Danielle looked down at the gorgeous new handbag she'd been given from Roxy and Amy and felt the warmth building up inside. Stepping down the stairs, slowly so she didn't fall, she felt herself grip on tighter to Ronnie. They looked at each other, sharing a warm smile and the cheers began as Danielle entered the room. Scanning the room she saw all her friends from the market, Stacey beamed at her. There was everyone she knew in Walford all clapping for her, Roxy and the rest of the Mitchells standing proudly and finally, and possibly the most shocking was the sight of her father stood awkwardly smiling at his little girl. Danielle looked at Ronnie, barely believing that Andy would come but Ronnie simply nodded and smiled kissing her daughters cheek and letting her run off into Andy's waiting arms.

Ronnie made her way over to her sister, who rubbed her back comfortingly. Pouring a drink the sisters watched as Danielle walked around in complete awe, introducing her father to her life in Walford. Andy looked over to Ronnie and smiled warmly, he was so grateful that Ronnie had invited him and looking at how happy Danielle was he started to believe that maybe she wasn't a bad as he would have liked to believe.

"Come on Ronnie, we've already proven we know how to work the dance-floor, lets show these lot a thing of two!" Christian winked, pulling Ronnie out for a dance. Roxy smiled gratefully, Ronnie deserved to have a good time.

"She looks happy" Peggy smiled, rubbing Roxy's hand. Roxy nodded in response, she was guessing that building a relationship was going to be difficult for Ronnie and Danielle but they were taking big steps in the right direction.

"Dad this is my auntie Roxy" Danielle announced, Andy shook Roxy's hand warmly though it was painful looking at these people. She so resembled them, her blonde hair and facial features made her fit right in and Andy, though he knew it was selfish, didn't want Danielle to fit in.

"Oh Mr. Jones you don't mind if I steal my best mate for a dance do you?" Stacey giggled, Andy nodded and smiled and Danielle went off to join Stacey.

"Drink mate?" Phil grunted to Andy, Andy smiled but deep down this man made him quite nervous... Surely Danielle wasn't related to him as well?

***

"I wanna go to the party!" Rebecca slurred, she'd had a few too many drinks on top of the cocktail of pills she'd consumed earlier, it was a miracle she was still standing.

"You should go" Janine encouraged, a gleeful look on her face as she imagined all the trouble Rebecca could cause at the party.

"I think I might" Rebecca laughed rubbing at her face, she was starting not to look like herself, she was someone else altogether.

***

"Yeah I don't think so" Roxy groaned, snatching the bottle of beer out of Jay's hand before he'd even had a chance to take a swig.

"Oy!" Jay complained but he knew it was pointless arguing with Roxy, she was determined that this night would be the perfect success and underage drinking was not a part of that.

"What would Billy say?" Roxy snapped

"Good on ya mate I reckon, but he don't get a say 'cos he's stuck at home babysitting" Jay moaned. Almost like Danielle, Jay was on the outside of this family, they'd let him in but it was difficult fitting in with the Mitchell's, he wished he had the safety of Billy here.

"Yeah not a chance" Roxy smiled, sending him off. Spotting Andy on his own at the bar she decided to go and talk to him. "You alright?"

Andy nodded but his eyes were fixed on Ronnie and Danielle over in the corner on the other side of the club, Ronnie was stood behind Danielle her arms wrapped around her neck, she had said something that Danielle was laughing at. They looked happy.

"Is this why you invited me here? To show how happy they are?" Andy complained, he hated getting upset, especially to this stranger.

"No of course not. We invited you here because you deserve to be a part of Danielle's special day, she worships you, you must know that." Roxy insisted "That girl is lucky enough to have two families and if we work together it's going to make it a lot easier for her."

"You're right, I know that" Andy sighed

"Why don't you go and ask your daughter to dance?" Roxy suggested, rubbing Andy's shoulder. She watched as he nervously made his way over to Danielle and watched as Danielle beamed back at him dragging him round the dancefloor. Ronnie came over to Roxy and smiled as if to say she approved.

"I'm just going to get some air" Ronnie explained, walking off towards the clubs entrance. She noticed a small crowd and one of her bouncers looking rather annoyed.

"Miss Mitchell will you explain to these boys that they're not welcome" the bouncer announced looking to Ronnie. The bouncer didn't know what it was about his boss that sent people running but he had a feeling they'd respond to her.

"Private party boys, we'll be open tomorrow to the public" Ronnie explained, running her hand through her hair. She looked at the group in front of her recognising one of them...

"Oh come on Ronnie it's me! Paul!" Paul thought he was doing his best flirting face but he just looked drunk and pathetic. "She's always fancied me" he laughed to his mates who slapped his back and encouraged him to make a move on her.

"Not going to happen" Ronnie insisted turning the boys away. "Definately not going to happen" she whispered to Paul looking him up and down, he was pathetic.

"Aww not welcome to the party are we lads?! Don't worry I reckon I won't be allowed in either" Rebecca giggled, Ronnie watched her sister in awe mouth agape at the sight in front of her. It was a complete change to the girl that she had welcomed into her life over a month ago, she looked beaten and ill. Where had she been staying? What was she doing here?

"Maybe you should come with us?" Paul suggested to Rebecca, reaching out for her hand which she gladly took.

"No-way Bec!" Ronnie shouted pulling her sister back. She couldn't let her sister get involved with this creep, especially not the condition she was in.

"What is going on?" Danielle asked, she had stepped outside to see what had happened to Ronnie and she couldn't believe it when she saw Paul standing there with Rebecca it made her feel sick.

"We're going to take Bec home" Ronnie insisted. Danielle stepped out and pulled on Rebecca's arm hoping that she would be able to convince her. Rebecca looked her as if she didn't even know who she was, their bond had seemingly disappeared masked by a substance that had so much control over her it was as if she was bound and shackled.

"Oh Danni, didn't realise it was you! You're not jealous are you?" Paul smirked, winking to his mates. He looked Danielle up and down, making her feel uncomfortable with his gaze.

"I'd just rather you stayed away from my family" Danielle spat, the sight of him made her want to punch him.

"Family?" Paul questioned, he looked confused and looked to Rebecca for an answer.

"Yeah babe but don't worry... Same brand, different model! I can assure you i'm much better" Rebecca slurred, winking at Paul.

"Couldn't be any worse!" Paul laughed, his mates were practically in fits and Danielle backed away flushing red with embarrassment. This was it, Ronnie was fuming she grabbed Paul by his shirt and getting really close to his face began her threats.

"Speak about my daughter like that again and I promise you won't walk again, little man!" Ronnie snarled.

"Daughter? You lot are messed up!" Paul yelled trying to regain his composure, how could Danni be her daughter? Though looking at the two of them, the shape of their face, the same blonde hair that fell in the exact same way. It didn't matter though, it was beside the point he straightened out his shirt and grabbed Rebecca's arm. "If we're going to have a good time lets get going" he hissed.

"No!" Ronnie insisted pulling Rebecca back, all the pulling made Rebecca drop her handbag, she looked in horror as a bottle of pills smashed on the floor. Crawling on her hands and knees she was trying to pick up every single one. Ronnie and Danielle stood watching, horrified. "I think you should leave" Ronnie muttered, she didn't need to tell the boys twice. This wasn't something they wanted to deal with.

"Not causing trouble are we Bec?" Janine smirked, picking her 'friend' off the ground. Rebecca wrapped her arm around Janine. "Shall we get you home?" Rebecca nodded leaning her head into Janine's shoulder.

"She's staying with you?" Ronnie gasped astonished, reaching for Danielle's hand, she needed to regain some control over the situation. Why Janine? Had they ever even talked?

"Someone's got to look after her" Janine raised a judgmental eyebrow and pulled Rebecca back to the flat. Ronnie watched as Rebecca lurched and swayed the whole way.

Ronnie turned to Danielle who hadn't said a word, she looked embarrassed and upset and Ronnie's heart lurched. Ronnie stroked Danielle's hair but Danielle pulled away. Flinching like she'd gotten an electric shock.

"It's ruined, it's all ruined!" Danielle cried running back into the club.

**Can you believe this has gotten over 200 reviews?! I'm gobsmacked and so, so grateful. Thank you so much :D**


	40. Past Praying For

There was an unforgiving darkness that was overshadowing everything, confusion and desperation. Pain that just wouldn't go away and there wasn't even a reason to disguise the mess that she had become anymore. Instead it was exposed for the whole world to see. She had pulled away from Janine and Janine hadn't tried to stop her, why prevent her self destruction when it played directly into her game. This left Rebecca sat alone in the middle of the Square, she could see the light on upstairs in the Vic as Billy moved around. She could still hear music coming from the club, Danielle's party was still going on. There was a twinge of jealousy there, Danielle had two families who both loved her and cared about her, if this was Danielle then somebody would have saved her by now. Somebody would have noticed.

Rebecca stood up, she'd straightened up a bit by now and walked almost confidently in the direction of Ronnie and Roxy's place, her key still fit the lock and it wasn't long before she was inside. She didn't bother with lights, the moonlight provided all she needed to guide her towards her sisters' stash of alcohol. Pouring it into a glass, most went on the counter, her hand was hardly steady. Downing the entire glass Rebecca blinked a look of disgust and comfort.

She headed to the living room, to the row of photos that gave the impression to anyone on the outside that they were the perfect family. What lies! Rebecca thought angrily, Glenda was the woman who had abandoned all three of her daughters at different stages of their lives yet Ronnie displayed that photo of her like it was something to be proud of. Ronnie and Roxy together, smiling! Well that was a massive joke, wasn't Amy's father supposed to be the love of Ronnie's life? Sharing a bloke like he was a toy... Her sisters were a joke. The picture of Danielle, well that particular adventure made Rebecca laugh out loud, Ronnie was a stupid fourteen year old who had gotten herself pregnant and then she spent her whole life mourning for what? A weak little mouse who hadn't even dared to tell Ronnie who she was for seven months! Then even when she had she'd been taken away once again by the master manipulator that was Archie Mitchell.

With parents like Archie and Glenda it was remarkable that Ronnie, Roxy and herself were still standing. They were hardly shining examples of parenthood? _They should get us on one of those chat shows_ Rebecca thought, laughing bitterly. Her eyes fell on the final picture, Ronnie, Roxy, Amy, Danielle and herself all looking like the perfect little family. Rebecca reached out and touched the picture of herself, she barely even recognised it. With one sweep of her arm she knocked all the pictures of the shelf, sending them flying they crashed one by one to the ground, shattering the frames and with them those idyllic dreams.

Rebecca walked over to the mirror that hung on the wall and stared deeply at her reflection, it hadn't taken long for the drugs to take a toll on her appearance, that combined with weird periods of either intense sleep or freakish insomnia. Her diet was... Well non-existent she couldn't remember when she last ate, or even when she last felt hungry. This feeling of emptiness was so much more than hunger. She hated the way she looked, she hated the dark circles that encompassed her eyes. Reaching out with a balled up fist she shattered the glass in the mirror, breaking her broken reflection into tiny fragments.

_Why am I here?_ She asked herself, crashing down into the comfort of the sofa she felt so tired she could have fallen asleep right there, instead she just tried to settle the endless abundance of whizzing thoughts. Things would rush through that made perfect sense but she couldn't seem to pin them down, they were always out of her grasp. _You know what makes you feel better... _That little voice just kept on calling to her. Heaving herself up, her body felt like stone, she made her way over to her handbag and pulled out a couple of the pills that she'd been able to rescue from the floor washing them down with vodka straight from the bottle. _You know why you're here. _That little voice was speaking to her again, reminding her of the conversation she'd had with Janine before she'd walked away.

"_What are you doing here?" Rebecca had asked, it was if Janine was her guardian angel, sent to protect her at exactly the right minute._

"_Figured you might be in trouble, and if you weren't then I just wanted to see you having a good time for once" Janine comforted, acting the part of a friend was coming all too easy to her, she was too good at this game._

"_Thank you, you've been great you know!" Rebecca slurred, looking up gratefully to Janine._

"_I know... But about me being great, i'm going to need some money from you and soon" her tone had changed, she was still smiling but Janine sounded insistent._

"_I don't know..." Rebecca began, where would she get money from?_

"_Look we can forget about everything so far, i'll call that a friendly favour but if I don't get money off you soon then i'm going to have to cut you off. I don't want to do it, you know I don't i'm your friend" Janine smiled._

"_I'll get it yeah?" Rebecca promised, she stumbled out of Janine's arms and began to wander off "later ok?" _

Snapping herself back into reality, she went to the safe that was hidden in one of the cupboards and tapped in the code. _I need this_. Rebecca assured herself pulling out a wad of notes. She stood back up, this time getting intense head rush, the effect of the pills and vodka was getting a bit much, she was feeling dizzy and sick and she tried to move but her feet would let her. Stumbling, she took a tumble, there was a sickening smash as she fell through the glass coffee table...


	41. Everythings Just Wonderful

"_Right I mean it I want everyone smiling and looking pretty ok?!" Roxy moaned trying to gather her sister and her niece in the living room. "Oh Roxy do we have to? I really should be going down the club" Ronnie sighed, smoothing down her top. "Right! The quicker you lot sit down, shut up and let me take this picture the better ok?" Roxy snapped, she felt herself getting more and more frustrated. "You're actually turning into Auntie Peggy, you do know that?" Ronnie laughed, Danielle and Rebecca tried to stifle their own giggles as Roxy glared at them. "Right, Rebecca you're there, Danielle you sit next to her, Ronnie next to Danielle and grab hold of Amy till i'm ready to come and sit down" Roxy instructed, setting up the camera, clicking the button that set off the timer Roxy ran over to the sofa taking her position next to Ronnie who put Amy into Roxy's lap. Forcing smiles the girls were trapped in this happy family photo..._

Ronnie raced down the stairs and into the club, looking around she searched for Danielle. She could see Andy looking concerned and Roxy rushed over. The entire party was trying to look as if they hadn't noticed what was going on but the way they were all looking over and staring gave it away. There were a few catty comments regarding a Mitchell party always ending in tears but Peggy's glares shut them up.

"She's in the office, Ronnie what the hell is happening?" Roxy whispered, she was trying to keep everything quiet but the guests could clearly see something was wrong.

"What have you done to her!" Andy accused angrily, seeing his daughter running down the stairs in tears on what should have been such a special and happy day broke his heart.

"Nothing! Now let me go and talk to her" Ronnie spat in a hushed voice, walking off towards the office.

"You think i'm going to let you anywhere near her!" Andy growled, he felt himself getting tenser and tenser.

"She is my daughter and it is me she will want to talk to" Ronnie hissed back at him, she wasn't perfectly sure she believed what she was saying but she couldn't lose Danielle. Opening the door to the office she closed it behind it, clicking the lock on just incase. Danielle was huddled in Ronnie's office chair looking upset.

"You didn't pay any attention to any of that rubbish out there did you?" Ronnie soothed in a comforting voice. She made her way over to Danielle but held back from getting too close, she didn't want to smother Danielle, she would would simply respond to what Danielle wanted.

"It's not just that... Did you see her?" Danielle asked, she couldn't believe the mess she'd just seen out there. Even when her and Stacey used to go out and have a few too many drinks they were never that bad. Why was Ronnie in here talking to her when Rebecca needed her help? Had Ronnie just given up on her?

Ronnie instantly looked uncomfortable, she didn't want to confront or even think about what was happening with her sister. She'd spent the time since Rebecca had left convincing herself that making her leave was the best thing, that she'd come to her senses and stop. It was ridiculous though, Ronnie had seen addiction, she knew the hold it took on people just like Phil when he'd been at his worst.

"The way she talked to you tonight Dan I don't even want to think about her" Ronnie sighed, playing with a pen pot on the desk.

"How can you be like that! Ronnie she needs us more than ever, if that was me would you just turn your back and ignore it!" Danielle snapped, she was annoyed at Ronnie's attitude.

"I can't deal with it ok? I can't watch her destroy herself!" Ronnie admitted, she looked really defeated and Danielle felt sorry for her.

"We need to do something" Danielle insisted, taking hold of Ronnie's hand.

"I know. But lets go and enjoy your party ok? This is your special day" Ronnie smiled, stroking her daughters face she was forgetting the boundaries Danielle had set, instead just responding to basic instinct.

"Come on then" Danielle nodded, not letting go of Ronnie's hand they showed a unified presence to the party when they made their way back in. Danielle scanned the room looking for Andy but couldn't see him anywhere. Danielle was about to feel defeated all over again but then finally located him, having a beer with Charlie and laughing about something, Andy turned round and saw Danielle looking a lot happier which eased his mind allowing him to go back to his conversation with Charlie. He could understand why his daughter loved the Slater's.

"Right time for cake!" Roxy yelled "Just a few words before we bring it out though! I just want to say that having my niece back in my life has been pretty amazing and i've literally never seen Ronnie this happy in fact I reckon it's the first time most people have seen my sister smile!!" Ronnie raised an eyebrow at this before laughing. "Anyway I want you all to sing really loud because this girl deserves it, I don't know many people who have managed the difficult feat of coming back from the dead!" Roxy laughed, she was clearly a bit tipsy but everyone seemed to enjoy her speech Roxy was beaming at Danielle as Phil carried out the massive cake complete with twenty candles.

Everyone joined in a rousing chorus of 'happy birthday' and Danielle blew out the candles, only this year her wish had already come true, she guessed she'd have to think of something else...

***

"Rox how much did you drink?" Ronnie asked, practically guiding her sister home.

"Ronnie it's my first night without Amy in ages! A girls got to enjoy herself" Roxy giggled, kissing Ronnie's cheek. "Today was amazing wasn't it Ron?"

"Yeah it was, thanks to you" Ronnie admitted, Roxy's amazing plan had worked, Danielle had really enjoyed herself and apart from the incident with Rebecca everything had gone off without a glitch. Reaching the house Ronnie was surprised to find the front door ajar. "I thought you locked this Rox?" She asked, confused.

"I did" Roxy nodded looking solemn.

Ronnie pushed open the door and walked along the hallway before reaching the front room, her eyes wide her mouth agape nothing could prepare her for the sight in the living room. She ran over to the remains of the table and gently rolled Rebecca over, gagging slightly at the sight of the blood that covered her, feeling for a pulse Ronnie was instantly relieved but there was so much blood. Ronnie turned round to see Roxy a ghastly shade of white and with a facial expression that matched her own.

"Roxy call an ambulance!" Ronnie panicked, her own hands were now covered with blood... Looking round she spotted the rolled up wad of notes that laid next to Rebecca and let out a deep sigh.

**I realllllly should be writing an essay right now, but seeing as I already had most of this written I thought i'd finish it and post it. There may or may not be another update today, all depends on whether I finish this essay (or if this essay finishes me :s). As always thank you for the comments and reviews, I know these last couple of chapters have been a little dark so I hope you're still enjoying this. :D**


	42. Remember To Feel Real

The sun was beating down, hardly a typical feature of an English summer but Roxy was happy to go with it. She approached the large building, it was right what they said, these places were like a holiday camp! She walked inside and approached the reception, a stern looking woman glared at her like she'd done something wrong before she'd even started. Roxy hated people like that, _judgmental cow_, she thought bitterly flashing a false smile.

"I'm visiting Rebecca Mitchell" Roxy explained, watching as the woman looked her up and down before consulting a pile of papers on the desk.

"You would be?" The woman asked, looking completely disinterested.

"Roxanne Mitchell, i'm her sister" Roxy answered, she was getting slightly frustrated now, she was filled with anticipation she just wanted to see Bec but she had to wait for this woman.

"Right and if we can just check your handbag to make sure you have no offending substances on your person" the woman announced, Roxy handed over her handbag watching as the woman snouted through it.

"I checked her in to this place, i'm hardly going to be bringing her in drugs am I?!" Roxy complained, grabbing back her handbag the moment the woman had finished with it.

"You'd be surprised the amount of family members who believe they're doing the 'right' thing." The woman tutted calling over another woman, this time a lot friendlier to take Roxy through to Rebecca. The smaller woman made harmless small talk as she took Roxy through a communal room filled with people Roxy thought were quite frankly terrifying and out into the gardens.

"Visitor Rebecca" the small woman smiled.

"Alright darling" Roxy was trying to sound as upbeat as possible but she didn't really know what to expect, it had been three weeks since that night...

_The sound of sirens filled the Square and suddenly every net curtain was twitching as people looked out. Andy was staying at the Slaters, Charlie had insisted, sleeping on the sofa he had quickly made his way over to the window and it wasn't long before Danielle was by his side._

"_What's going on?" Danielle wondered, peaking under her fathers arm to see where the sirens were coming from._

"_Ambulance..." Andy started, looking down he quickly registered the look of horror on Danielle's face. "Danni what's wrong?"_

"_Oh my... Mum!" Danielle gasped, Andy recoiling slightly at that word, Danielle quickly rushed over to the front door grabbing her coat and shoes and running full pelt across the Square._

_Ronnie stood outside the front of the house, breathing in the cool night air she was simply staring forward not quite knowing what to do. She was covered in blood, looking like something from a horror movie. She could see the blonde racing towards her but it took her a minute to register that it was Danielle screaming at her._

_Danielle didn't understand what was happening, Ronnie was covered in blood but the paramedics were walking straight past her! _

"_Mum!" Danielle screeched, grabbing Ronnie's face looking into her mothers eyes. "What's going o...." she wasn't even able to finish the sentence before the paramedics brought Rebecca out on the stretcher. Danielle stared in amazement, Roxy trailing behind slowly looking just as shocked as Ronnie._

"You look rough" Roxy joked, taking a seat next to Rebecca. She looked her up and down, the tiny little cuts all over her face still obvious, a larger cut on her forehead was still covered with a bandage and she looked really weak but that was the withdrawal.

"Thanks, I feel it" Rebecca croaked, she did feel rough, withdrawal was harder than anything she'd ever gone through before- throwing up, cold sweats, boiling heat, unable to keep still as her body shook desperate for what it craved.

"This place is nice though" Roxy smiled, looking out at the green lawns. She reckoned half the people here were too sick to appreciate the beauty though, Rebecca could have been sat in a dumpster for all the joy her face was giving out.

"Want to walk?" Rebecca asked, pulling her body up. Roxy followed her, noticing the slight limp that Rebecca was walking with.

"Your leg..." Roxy pointed out, it looked almost painful to walk on. Rebecca pulled up the leg on her tracksuit bottoms revealing a massive gash that cut up the front of her shin.

"Associated problems with falling though a glass coffee table" Rebecca almost forced out a smile, taking it slow they walked around the grounds of the rehabilitation centre.

"_A few stitches, we've removed all the fragments of glass... What we're more worried about is the amount of drugs in your sisters system. You could say that table saved her life because if she'd have carried on the way she was going she would have almost certainly overdosed" the doctor explained to Ronnie who sat rubbing her hands, the blood had dried underneath her fingernails._

"_So she's ok?" Ronnie asked, almost impatiently. She'd barely said a word since they'd got to the hospital._

"_Are you aware your sister has drug dependance issues?" the doctor asked, he didn't understand this woman's reaction, she didn't look surprised._

"_Yes" Ronnie answered simply and plainly, without emotion staring blankly back at the doctor._

"_She needs help Ms. Mitchell. If she doesn't agree to willingly check herself into a rehabilitation facility then it will be my recommendation that she is put there forcibly" the doctor continued to explain, but it was like talking to a brick wall._

"_Right well if she's ok then i'm going home" Ronnie announced, sighing deeply she started to walk away from the doctor, Roxy watched her amazed running after her and pulling her back._

"_Ron? What's going on?" Roxy asked, astonished_

"_She's ok Rox... You kicked her out, you said you didn't want her in your life, why act concerned now?" Ronnie asked, again that simple and plain tone that didn't show one ounce of emotion._

"_Ronnie this is serious ok" Roxy insisted, she couldn't understand what was happening here._

"_Roxy she was there tonight to steal from us. That was after she shouted abuse at my daughter which was only a short while after she almost killed your daughter." Ronnie explained, her eyes flickered a hint of emotion trying to creep though but Ronnie forced it back in._

"_She has a problem Ronnie! How can you turn your back on her?" Roxy asked, her mouth agape, she couldn't believe she was being the rational one here!_

"_Because I can..." Ronnie sighed and walked away. Roxy didn't see as Ronnie got inside the elevator and broke down, sliding down the side she was crouched on the floor, tears streaming down her face._

"How much longer do they reckon you'll be in here?" Roxy asked, reaching out she touched her hand to Rebecca's arm. The simple act of kindness acting as a bond between the sisters.

"Don't think i'm ready yet" Rebecca admitted. "Roxy i'm sorry..." she started, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Forget it ok? What happened, all of that, it wasn't you. Alright?" Roxy insisted wrapping an arm around her little sister. "I love you kid. We're going to get through this."

**Well my essay still isn't finished but I though I deserved a break! Ha ha. I know these last few chapters have been pretty focused on Rebecca. I can promise the R&D bonding is coming soon. :D **


	43. We Are Always Searching

_Ronnie was twenty-one years old, this should be the age that she was living it up and being wild and free but there were so many things holding her back. She was sat up on rocky secluded part of a beach in Ibiza, in her right hand she was gripping onto her locket watching the waves crash as she allowed herself to daydream. In her daydream there was a seven year old girl running around on that beach, her little girl, her blonde hair trailing in the wind as skipped up and down the sand. Ronnie closed her eyes wanting the vision to be as powerful as she could muster... The little girl was running up to her... She could hear footsteps on the sand, that reassuring padding sound as she got closer. "Mummy! Mummy!" She called and Ronnie reached out to grab her waiting hand but it was never close enough. Ronnie shook her head losing with it that perfect vision as she plunged herself back into the painful reality where all she had was a single picture in a locket..._

Ronnie sat in the office with earphones in, she was listening to Rebecca's iPod, she'd left it behind when she first left and Ronnie hadn't been able to give it back to her yet. Ronnie scrolled through, putting it onto shuffle she flicked through the songs... Loud noise, Ronnie almost shuddered, she wasn't really a big music fan and this just sounded like a lot of noise. _I'm turning into an old woman! _Ronnie cursed. She wasn't exactly sure what she was doing, it was almost like she was searching for answers in anything but the person herself. Settling on a song that was far less aggressive than the rest, Ronnie started her work tapping her foot subconsciously at the beat.

Danielle stood watching, it was almost a peculiar sight but it made her giggle slightly. Ronnie was completely unaware that there was anyone else in the room and Danielle savored the moment to just look at her mother. Danielle hadn't really talked to Ronnie since her birthday, not when she'd showed that flash of emotion when she had thought it was Ronnie that was hurt. She felt almost embarrassed by it now, so she'd kept her distance, instead talking to Roxy about what was going on. It was always so much easier with Roxy because there was no expectation, they could just enjoy being with each other and letting themselves grow gradually from a firm friendship into a loving aunt and niece relationship. It was something that Danielle appreciated and wished she could have with Ronnie but instead they just seemed to bounce between two extremes of immense love and awkward anger.

"_She will love you through all the lies" _Ronnie couldn't work out who'd she picked out the lyric for: Danielle or Rebecca? It applied to both she guessed... Pausing the song, Ronnie became suddenly aware that she was not alone in the room, she looked over to the door and saw Danielle standing there. She took Ronnie's breath away every time she saw her and this time was no exception. Turning her look of shock to a warm smile she welcomed her awkward looking daughter into the office. Danielle walked over, pulling a chair to the other side of the desk so that she directly facing Ronnie.

"Bec's?" Danielle asked picking up the silver iPod.

"Yeah she left it behind" Ronnie sighed, rubbing at her face she hadn't slept properly in ages.

"Maybe you could take it to her when you go and see her?" It was more of an instruction than a question, Danielle's eyes searched Ronnie's for any form of response but the shield was up.

"Well I won't be doing that. You're welcome to take it if you're going to see her" Ronnie dismissed, turning back to her paperwork desperate not to keep eye contact with Danielle because she had a way of seeing through her if she looked hard enough.

"She's hurt everyone but that isn't stopping me and Roxy being there for her. We still can't get hold of Grandma" Danielle was trying to control the emotion in her voice, she was painfully aware of the fact that she didn't feel comfortable enough with Ronnie to just release and shout at her and tell her she was being stubborn and stupid.

"There's only one person I want to concentrate on right now" Ronnie insisted looking up at Danielle and smiling, why did Danielle have to be so caring? She wished her daughter could just be selfish and work on their relationship.

"Don't do that" Danielle muttered slightly annoyed

"Do what?" Ronnie asked, her voice full of surprise as she wracked her brain searching for an answer.

"Work me. Like you know what my weaknesses are and you just play them" Danielle complained

"So I can't show affection to you because it will make you love me too much?" Ronnie tried to stop herself laughing at Danielle's insistence. She had a determined look on her face, looking like a small child, it simply made Ronnie love her even more. As if that was even possible.

"I hate feeling so out of control" Danielle admitted.

"You feel out of control? How do you think this is for me, i'm the Ice Queen remember? I've found the one person that can pull on my heart and control my emotions. This link..." Ronnie reached out and put her hand on Danielle's heart "... Scares me more than anything, but it also makes me happier than I ever thought possible"

Danielle was trying to stop her heart from racing, she knew Ronnie could feel it beating and she let out a nervous laugh. The perfect moment was only interrupted by Jack barging into the office.

"Oh... Sorry Ron. We've got a problem though, Dawn's called in sick; Summer's ill. Want me to call a temp?" Jack asked, he blushed slightly but also felt slightly annoyed as he watched Ronnie give herself so freely to Danielle and love her in a way she had never loved him.

"It's going to be pretty quiet... I reckon me and Danielle could handle it" Ronnie looked over at Danielle expectantly.

"Me?" Danielle gasped, Ronnie was seriously asking her to work behind the bar?

"Of course you, got to get a handle on the family business sooner or later. It'll be yours one day" Ronnie beamed.

"Half yours..." Jack interrupted

"Well I think she's got a long wait before Amy's going to want her share" Ronnie sighed. "So feel like helping me out?" She addressed the question once again to Danielle.

"Sure" Danielle smiled. Though she was aware that her response was loaded with so much... Ronnie wanted Danielle to take over the club one day... The thought hadn't even occurred to her. There were times when she wished she could go back to being little old Danielle Jones from Telford. Acknowledging her Mitchell blood put so much expectation on her. But watching Ronnie's face she knew she could never turn back now and if she admitted it to herself she wouldn't want to either...


	44. She Will Love You

_Rebecca sat watching the clock, it was past midnight and Glenda still wasn't home. She looked out the curtain watching the street outside, desperate for any sign of a car. She was just thirteen years old and she was sat home alone, as her eyes scanned the room for a distraction they fell to the picture that stood on the bookcase, haunting her and warning her the picture of her two sisters. Walking over to it she looked at them, her eldest sister... Ronnie... She looked just like her, a brunette version of the little girl in the picture. The little girls who's mummy had gone out and never come back. Racing back over to the window she searched and prayed that the next car would be Glenda's, that she would be home any minute now..._

Danielle raced around. Serving drinks and smiling at customers was coming more naturally than she ever could have imagined. It had started off a little shaky though... Spilling a drink over that customer earlier hadn't been her best move, Ronnie had watched, smiling but never for one moment doubting her. The space behind the bar was small and at first they'd looked awkward whenever they accidently brushed past each other but the busier it got the less time there was to be aware of such things.

"Another gorgeous barmaid hey Ronnie? You do treat us boys!" One of the regular lads laughed winking at Danielle.

"Yeah well you better watch yourself with this one, she's my daughter" Ronnie grinned passing over the round of drinks they'd ordered.

"Bloody good genes" the lads gasped, laughing amongst themselves and taking their drinks. Danielle stood watching Ronnie, wishing she could handle blokes like that, so confidently. She didn't have long to dwell on anything though, despite Ronnie's prediction the bar would quiet it was in fact heaving with people and the girls were rushed off their feet.

When the night did eventually calm down and the last of the drinkers walked out the door, Danielle could barely stand. She crashed down on one of the chairs and watched as Ronnie cleaned up things behind the bar.

"Nearly done here, help me take this to the safe and then i'll walk you home" Ronnie smiled, watching as Danielle trudged over towards her. "Look at you all sleepy" Ronnie teased, brushing a hand across her daughters cheek.

Entering the office, Ronnie placed the takings in the safe and locked up. Walking over to the desk Danielle watched as Ronnie slipped the iPod into her pocket before locking the office door as they closed up the club. The walk home was eerily silent, just the sound of the two women's footsteps as they walked towards the Slater's. Danielle couldn't keep her eyes off Ronnie constantly playing with the iPod in her pocket, it was subtle, unconscious even but it was there. Even though Ronnie was standing right next to her, it felt like she was a million miles away. Stopping when they finally arrived outside the front door, Ronnie turned to leave but Danielle stopped her. Reaching up and placing a tender kiss on her mothers cheek, Danielle turned and whispered in Ronnie's ear.

"Go and see her."

Danielle made her way inside the house and Ronnie simply stood outside, bathed slightly in the light that leaked from the Slater's hallway she placed her hand to her cheek and smiled. _I'm getting my baby back, everything is going to be ok. _Ronnie promised herself, walking back to hers, remembering Danielle's words she knew what she had to do.

***

"_I always defended her, in my head I was always justifying what she did but I guess there was a part of me deep down that thought maybe i'd be next... Maybe she'd abandon me too." Rebecca began to explain to the councillor that sat next to her, nodding and listening but not saying a word. "I can't blame my mum for what I did though."_

"_Perhaps you're always so scared that you'll get pushed away that you draw attention to yourself to ensure that someone is always noticing you" the councillor suggested._

"_Thanks" Rebecca spat, standing up and walking towards the door. "I don't know why I bother with this, it's not like you're any help!"_

Rebecca kept replaying those words over and over again, wondering if there was any truth in what the councillor had said. Was she really that pathetic? It was far easier to just believe she had an obsessive personality. Rubbing at one of the little glass cuts on her arm with her finger she was lost in a daze.

"Don't do that you'll make it bleed" the voice behind her sighed. That voice that was so familiar, that voice that made her blink open her eyes and spin round. "Thought you might like this..." Ronnie pulled the iPod from her pocket and passed it over to Rebecca who smiled at Ronnie not quite sure what to say.

"Thanks" was all she could manage, twirling the earphones around her finger watching as Ronnie moved awkwardly not quite knowing what to do with herself. "Sit here?" Rebecca offered patting the seat next to her.

"How are you?" Ronnie asked, it sounded like a stupid question the minute it came out of her mouth, sittting down Ronnie felt herself relax slightly.

"Bit better, three weeks clean" Rebecca nodded quietly, she felt so nervous in Ronnie's presence she started picking at the cut on her arm again. It wasn't long before another hand was on top of hers stopping her, the hand that squeezed her own and reassured her.

"You're doing well" Ronnie smiled, taking her hand back she watched Rebecca squirm uncomfortably.

"Sorry isn't going to be enough... But sorry. What I was about to do..." Rebecca stuttered quietly, all the time watching Ronnie's reaction looking for a sign that she was getting angry.

"Steal from us?" Ronnie finished the sentence for her, it wasn't so much anger that tinged her voice, rather disbelief that Rebecca could have done that to them.

"I was desperate..." Rebecca uttered, it was the only excuse she had and even that sounded pathetic

"We need to forget it. I can't promise I can forgive you just yet but I need to get things back to normal. I want my little sister back, drug free." Ronnie instructed, running her fingers through her hair she watched in amusement as Rebecca was doing the same. "Explain something to me though..."

"What?" Rebecca asked, Ronnie looked genuinely puzzled as she looked to Rebecca for an answer.

"Janine?" Ronnie almost spat that word, it was disgusting to her, that woman was vile and she couldn't quite understand how Rebecca had gotten mixed up with her.

"She offered me a place to live and she bought me pills..." Rebecca explained, watching as Ronnie's brain started to gather information and formulate an idea.

"There's more to this..." Ronnie concluded "I'm going to guess it involves dad"


	45. Losing Control

_Siblings fight, it's natural. Spending that much time with another person was bound to drive you up the wall and Ronnie was well and truely driven. Roxy wasn't the type to give up though and once she'd found that weakness, that spot that drove Ronnie mad she would keep working it until Ronnie snapped. Roxy always regretted her actions the minute it happened though... When all of a sudden rational thought went out the window and Ronnie would become that person she so despised. That angry, dark person that Ronnie barely recognised but could never contain. _

Janine sighed as she heard the knock on the door, getting up from the sofa she pulled on the handle, the door revealing Ronnie Mitchell standing smiling at her. She looked oddly calm, relaxed and Janine felt at ease, smiling back at Ronnie, Janine wondered what she was here for.

"Hey Janine, can I come in? I just want to talk about Bec, you've been such a great friend to her" Ronnie beamed walking past Janine, the pair hovering by the kitchen table Ronnie continued to smile.

"It was no trouble" Janine nodded, Ronnie was so easy to work! Janine felt completely relieved that Ronnie was being so nice. Ronnie placed a friendly hand on Janine's back... Only it didn't feel friendly, as the hand crept up her back and towards the back of her head Janine began to shake knowing that Ronnie wasn't here for a friendly chat...

Ronnie grasped hold of the back of Janine's head, with one swift movement she slammed Janine's head against the table. Enjoying the way that Janine was squirming and fighting, Ronnie felt the immense power she had.

"Been visiting my dad have we?" Ronnie spat, her face close to Janine's which was still squished against the kitchen table.

"No" Janine insisted, she didn't want to land Archie in it, she didn't want him to lose his faith in her.

"Janine I am not an idiot and no-one, especially not you, will ever get the upper hand on me! You think you can mess with my family? Well try Janine, I dare you! Because you will find yourself wishing you never met me" Ronnie hissed, increasing the pressure on Janine's head.

"Get off me!" Janine screamed, wriggling around even more but still unable to move from Ronnie's grip.

Ronnie finally released her grip, Janine sprung upwards staggering backwards. Ronnie flexed her hands, her joints aching slightly from the intense pressure she'd put on Janine's head. Ronnie smiled and began to walk away, before she left she turned round and looked at Janine one last time.

"Try me Janine..." Ronnie laughed.

***

Danielle walked around the Square, she watched as she saw Ronnie emerge from Janine's flat and made her way over to her.

"Ronnie!" Danielle called, giving her a warm smile.

"Not now babe ok" Ronnie rushed, walking away barely making eye contact with Danielle. Ronnie didn't want Danielle to look at her and see the woman she had just been with Janine. Ronnie was scared that Danielle would see that hard and aggressive side and be scared of what she found, in Ronnie's mind she was protecting Danielle.

Danielle stood, confused she took a deep breath and watched as Ronnie rushed off talking into her mobile phone... _Probably to Bec! _She thought bitterly, she tried to force away the feeling of jealousy, it seemed so ridiculous but it existed and Ronnie walking past her had hurt.

***

"Tell me you've brought me something cool" Rebecca smiled hopefully as Ronnie walked in.

"Hmm... Chocolate do?" Ronnie grinned, knowing that it would make her sister very happy indeed. Ronnie past over the chocolate bar and sat down watching as Rebecca snapped off a piece and offered it back to her.

"So what are you doing here, other than bringing me confectionary?" Rebecca asked, breaking the chocolate up into neat piles of chunks.

"Group session for families of patients" Ronnie explained, she looked at Rebecca for a reaction not knowing how she would feel about Ronnie attending the session.

"You don't have to go to those" Rebecca rushed, she was worried that Ronnie was doing what she thought she should do rather than what she wanted.

"I do... I need to know how to help you when you eventually come home" Ronnie smiled

"Home?" Rebecca questioned, where even was that anymore?

"You're moving back in with me and Roxy, you know that right?" Ronnie asked. It had seemed like the natural choice and though Roxy was apprehensive, especially with Amy, they had decided it was for the best.

"I don't expect you to let me move back in with you, I burnt that bridge" Rebecca sighed, she knew Ronnie was acting out of this sense of responsibility she felt towards her and that wasn't what she wanted.

"Bridge is still standing, its up to you whether you use it" Ronnie smiled, getting up as someone announced that the family group was about start.

***

Danielle sat alone in her and Stacey's shared room, she wasn't sure where Stacey was and she didn't really mind her not being there because the dull quiet was almost a relief. Danielle's brain hadn't stopped going into overdrive since Ronnie had walked past her earlier on, it was part of Danielle's insecure nature to constantly doubt everything. Reaching down and touching her locket, she was reminded of everything Ronnie had said about being there for her and she tried to rationalize with herself that everything was ok. Looking at her phone for what felt like the hundredth time she sighed when she saw that no-one had tried to call. Chucking her phone across the room, it was typical that this was the point it decided to ring.

"_I've had a rubbish day... Seeing you would make it better though, fancy coming round?" _Ronnie asked nervously.

"I'll be over in a minute" Danielle replied.

She felt the obvious relief that came with Ronnie calling and sprinted round the room getting herself ready. _Remember Dan, play it cool. _She told herself. Looking in the mirror she examined her face, she touched her cheek and felt almost distant. It was the sudden noise that came from no-where that stopped the staring match between her and the girl in the mirror. She was sure she could hear him again, but as always she could never find him...


	46. Hey Jealousy

"_I worry about her Andy, you need to keep a close eye on her when i'm gone." Lizzie croaked, her voice was little more than a whisper now she couldn't manage anymore volume. "Our little Danielle? She's a ray of sunshine love she'll be just fine, she just needs her mum to pull though" Andy insisted, stroking his wife's hand. "We both know that isn't going to happen and we both know she's going to have a hard time dealing with my death" Lizzie sighed, she hated it when Andy went into denial, it made dying so much harder. "You can't let her get sad again" Lizzie insisted. The worst thing about dying was the fact that you were leaving the ones you loved behind, people who still needed you. It was far more frustrating than not being able to do the things you still wanted to do. She loved Andy, he was her everything. But he was naive and that scared Lizzie because he didn't always see past the surface the way that she did._

Ronnie realised she was pushing things slightly by phoning Danielle, initiating a visit was risky but Danielle seemed happy to oblige. When everything seemed confusing Ronnie just needed to hang on to that person that made everything become so clear. The group meeting for families had unsettled Ronnie slightly, there was a lot of emotion and openness in that room and she needed someone to talk to about it. She picked up the pamphlet on the table and read the front, _How you can help them, and how you can help you. _It was all getting a little too deep. Ronnie had thought that they'd just be talking about their loved ones but the group leader had wanted to delve into the lives of each family and this automatically but Ronnie on high alert. The knock on the door, snapped Ronnie back to reality and she welcomed in Danielle who hung back slightly something that Ronnie was starting to become used to.

Danielle watched as Ronnie smiled and moved around as if there was nothing wrong, but earlier when she'd rushed off so quickly... Why didn't Ronnie understand that it had hurt her?

"You booked those driving lessons yet?" Ronnie asked stirring the cups of tea she'd started to make.

"Not yet" Danielle admitted, to be honest she hadn't even thought about them or her car. They were such lavish gifts and they unsettled Danielle slightly. Danielle turned away to try and avoid further questioning and her gaze instead fixed on the pamphlet. "Everything alright with you two?"

"Yeah loads better, I was just scared I think about losing her and it just seemed easier to push her away. She needs me though, me and Roxy... You as well though baby, she'd love to see you... People make mistakes, I just want to help her and be there for her..." Ronnie was going on and on and after a while Danielle just zoned out, that bitterness and jealousy was back. In Danielle's mind it was all making perfect sense, she had pushed Ronnie away and now Ronnie had replaced her. _Stupid, stupid me! _Danielle raged in her mind.

"I've got to go" Danielle announced suddenly cutting Ronnie dead, she walked straight out the door and ran off home leaving Ronnie stood looking completely bemused. Ronnie replayed the last few sentences in her mind but nothing would have caused that reaction. Shaking her head Ronnie decided not to follow her, she was treading so carefully with Danielle and chasing after her when she was upset was only going to aggravate her further.

The Slaters was empty, it was a small relief as Danielle got inside and locked the door behind her. She made her way to the sofa and sat down, this time it was her reflection in the television screen that caught her eyes... Danielle's phone was ringing, Ronnie's number flashed up on the screen and so Danielle hit reject determined to keep her distance for good this time... _What are you looking at? _Danielle thought angrily as her reflection sat watching, silently judging. _You don't understand_! she insisted angrily before snapping herself out of this peculiar situation and deciding that going to lay down was a far better option. _What is wrong with me? _Danielle asked herself taking one final glance in the mirror before she laid down and closed her eyes.

***

"Never get complicated cutey" Ronnie told Amy who laid in her arms, she was making small grunting sounds that made Ronnie giggle.

Roxy watched the little scene with a warm smile but she was worried about how up and down everything still was with Danielle. Roxy had been so sure the 'birthday extravaganza' would have finally gotten them back to that place they seemed to be in at the very start. When they were just so relieved to have each other that nothing else mattered. It was only now things were becoming complicated and Roxy couldn't figure out a way to make everything better. There was the added complication of Bec, Ronnie used her as a distraction and she would focus her energies on her. Maybe this is what had upset Danielle, Ronnie had said that she was talking about Bec just before Danielle had taken off... It made sense, Danielle was feeling pushed out and Ronnie couldn't see it. Roxy sighed, she didn't know what to do, explaining her theory to Ronnie might cause Ronnie to cut off Rebecca and Roxy knew her sister needed all the support she could get. But then allowing Ronnie to keep on occupying herself with Bec meant that Danielle was going to continue to feel isolated... It was a no win situation and it was driving Roxy insane! Life was so much simpler for Roxy when she had no worries and no cares in the world. Growing older had brought with it a responsibility that Roxy just didn't feel ready for. She let out a deep sigh that was completely unnoticed by Ronnie who was far too occupied in Amy's gaze. _I'll talk to Danielle._ Roxy decided, she would get everything sorted and then everyone could be happy.

***

Hours had passed, Stacey had returned home but seeing Danielle asleep she had decided to leave her there. She looked so peaceful it was pointless waking her. Day turned into night and finally Danielle began to stir.

Danielle woke up gently at first. Emerging from sleep naturally she was caught between the dream world and reality. She could hear him again, just breathing this time...


	47. Darkness

"_So what's a regular mother daughter activity then?" Ronnie asked with a smile, looking at her daughter as they both sat awkwardly together, it was a few days after Danielle had come back from the dead and things were still strange, Rebecca was in the spare room giving Ronnie and Danielle a chance to bond. "We could watch a movie" Danielle suggested nervously. "Sure your pick" Ronnie nodded and Danielle made her way over to the pile of DVD's that sat next to the television. As she sorted through Ronnie's collection she saw something out of the corner of her eye... "Did you see that?" Danielle asked, as fear crept into her voice. "See what?" Ronnie asked raising an eyebrow, looking around to see what had taken Danielle by surprise. "Oh nothing... Will this do?" Danielle asked holding up one of the DVD cases._

"Why don't you spend the day with Danielle? I'm sure Stacey wouldn't mind her taking some time off the stall" Roxy suggested, she saw Ronnie look at her knowing that Roxy's question was loaded with something else. Roxy hated how she always saw through her.

"Because Danielle doesn't want to spend the day with me Rox, every time I try and get close she pulls away." Ronnie answered still unsure as to why Roxy looked so concerned.

"Aren't you worried about her?" Roxy asked, she could see Ronnie's point of view but Ronnie wasn't the kind of person to give up so easily.

"She's fine Rox, she's just dealing with being angry at me but she knows i'm here. I'm waiting for her Rox, i'm waiting for her to come to me because if I keep forcing myself on her then she's going to walk away and i'll lose her forever" Ronnie sighed, brushing her hand through her hair before grabbing a piece of toast.

"Do you think maybe she's a bit jealous?" Roxy suggested, she didn't want to cause an argument but she wanted Ronnie to see what was in front of her.

"Jealous? Of what?" Ronnie asked looking confused.

"You spending your time with Rebecca, with Amy, with me. With anyone that isn't her?" Roxy suggested, Ronnie was supposed to be so perceptive why wasn't she seeing this?

"Don't be stupid Rox, I was the one that wanted to be one hundred percent focused on Danielle and she didn't want that. She pushed me to go and talk to Rebecca and I ended up spending my night with you and Amy last night because she ran off and left me! What am I supposed to do Roxy?" Ronnie asked, she was getting stressed now because she wondered whether what Roxy was saying was true, surely she hadn't missed that?

"Alright Ron i'm just saying you should keep an eye on her" Roxy sighed.

"Roxy just leave it alright! Do you not think we should be more concerned about Janine and whether or not she's been talking to dad?" Ronnie asked trying to change the subject.

"Why do we care? You've sorted her out Ron, she ain't going to come round here anymore" Roxy moaned, she hated how stubborn Ronnie could be sometimes.

"Oh right and you feel safe knowing dad has someone on the outside do you?" Ronnie raised an eyebrow and pointed Amy "you're not worried about her?"

"Oh Ronnie don't tell me how to look after my daughter when you clearly don't have a clue about yours!" Roxy snapped, grabbing Amy she headed outside needing to get away.

***

"I can't say i'm surprised, your plan didn't exactly seem well thought out" Archie moaned looking across at Janine who was sporting a large bruise on the side of her face courtesy of Ronnie.

"It's hardly my fault if your daughter is stupid enough to fall though a table is it?" Janine whined, hating Archie doubting her.

"Janine I thought you were smarter, I thought you could hold a plan together a little better but you've proven your self to be quite the lightweight" Archie chuckled now enjoying the rise he was getting out of Janine.

"Archie this is far from over! There are cracks there, lots of cracks and I just need to work on them. In fact you could say this is working out perfectly, i've deflected attention from Danielle, she's an open target" Janine smiled, seeing that smile reflected in Archie's face as he nodded with approval.

***

"Is Danielle in?" Roxy asked Stacey, standing on the Slater's doorstep with Amy in her arms, she was planning on getting things sorted today.

"Yeah but she's just lying in bed, she's in a really weird mood" Stacey complained, no matter how much she'd tried to get through to Danielle she just hadn't been listening and Stacey had given up feeling completely useless. "Has your sister been upsetting her again?"

"Oh Stace just leave it alright, she doesn't need you giving Ronnie a hard time" Roxy complained walking past Stacey and making her way up the stairs, knocking slightly Roxy pushed the door open poking Amy's head round the corner to make Danielle smile before she came in herself.

"So Amy's been complaining all morning that she misses you so I thought i'd come and pay a visit" Roxy smiled, passing her daughter over to her nieces waiting arms.

"Amy can't talk" Danielle laughed, cuddling her cousin close.

"My baby is incredibly talented I hope you realise" Roxy teased, kicking off her shoes and joining Danielle on the bed.

"Oh yes." Danielle observed as Amy blew a large spit bubble that made Roxy and Danielle burst out laughing.

"What happened with your mum yesterday?" Roxy asked, narrowing her eyes at Danielle trying to work out exactly what was going on with her.

"Just didn't feel like being there" Danielle muttered quietly, concentrating on Amy.

"She's just being distant because she thinks that's what you want you know" Roxy insisted, she was annoyed at Ronnie but she was still defending her, desperate for Danielle to understand.

"I don't know what I want" Danielle confessed.

"You can't be angry with her if its you that's pulling away. She wants to be your mum more than anything" Roxy insisted.

"He won't leave me alone" Danielle groaned, passing Amy back to Roxy and placing her head in her hands.

"Who Danni? Dad isn't bothering you again is he?" Roxy asked, it was so completely bizarre one minute they were talking about Ronnie and the next Danielle looked completely blank apart from a ripping pain that seemed to be haunting her.

"No! No... You don't understand you just don't understand" Danielle shook her head

"Danni make me understand!" Roxy panicked, not knowing what to do. Reaching for her phone she typed out a quick message. _Ron, Slaters now! I need your help x _

Roxy didn't let Danielle see her send the message, she was worried that it would unsettle Danielle even more than she was at the moment.

Ronnie looked at her phone vibrate and opened the message, gathering her things she almost sprinted over to the Slaters.

**I'm sorry it's all so confusing at the moment, I just felt that I had started to hint that everything wasn't alright with Danielle a while ago and then I pushed it to the side in the same way that Danielle did. Everything does become clear (or even more confusing...) in a short while I promise. Am I the only one that's feeling sorry for Ronnie in my story? Lol. Thanks for the reviews, a lot of the ones i've got recently have been incredibly helpful in helping me build an idea of where i'm going with this :D**


	48. The Sadness Will Never End

_Danielle had always felt a bit awkward whenever Stacey had left her alone with Jean. It wasn't that Jean wasn't a nice person, it was just that you never knew what she was going to do next, she was unpredictable and that scared Danielle. The day she'd been left to keep an eye on Jean, the day she'd put the heater in the room, the day that Ronnie had phoned her asking her to work... Danielle knew she should stay with Jean but the moment she insisted she go, Danielle sprinted upwards desperate just to spend anytime with Ronnie that she could. Jean didn't mind being left alone, Danielle was a sweet little girl but there was something about her that made Jean feel nervous and she couldn't quite put her finger on it._

Ronnie knocked on the door feeling apprehensive, there must be something wrong for Roxy to send her that text. Impatiently waiting, she was tempted to just throw open the front door and run in but before she could the door slightly creaked open and Jean popped her head around.

"Hello" Jean smiled, there were certain people she felt a bit nervous around and Ronnie was one of those. Something about that look of confidence and steely determination.

"Can I come in and speak to Danielle, Roxy's with her right?" Ronnie rushed, stepping forward slightly giving the impression that even if Jean said no she'd simply burst past which of course made Jean feel even more uncomfortable.

"Sure thing" Jean smiled, keeping her happy face on and opening the door "everything alright Ronnie?" She asked trying to figure out situation because right now she was feeling confused.

Ronnie didn't even bother with an answer she simply rushed up the stairs taking them two at a time to get to Danielle. Jean stood and watched for a minute before moving into the living room to watch the snooker.

Roxy had put Amy down on Stacey's bed and she was blissfully playing with her feet whilst Roxy held on tight to Danielle. The minute the door creaked open Roxy looked up to see her sister looking worried, Roxy felt instant relief _Ronnie will know what to do_ she thought.

"Danielle..." Ronnie started moving forward, she could finally see Danielle's pain, it was highlighted and oh so obvious. This was more than just an argument or disagreement Danielle looked as if she was fast losing grip on everything around her.

"Did you make her come?" Danielle asked Roxy, moving out of her arms and looking upset and appalled that Roxy would do that to her.

"She's your mum" Roxy gave a gentle smile and took hold of Danielle's hand but Danielle quickly ripped it back.

"I don't want her here" Danielle whispered, her eyes wide she looked like a lost little girl and that broke Ronnie's heart.

"Baby, come on i'm here yeah and we can talk about whatever you want to talk about" Ronnie promised, moving so close she was practically by Roxy's side now and she made an attempt to reach out and touch Danielle.

"Go away" Danielle growled, sounding like someone else all together it was a fierce anger that shocked both Ronnie and Roxy.

"Tell me what i've done wrong Danielle, I keep trying but its never good enough!" Ronnie cried, she was feeling desperate now and she couldn't control this situation, couldn't control Danielle. That link that went from one heart to the other didn't just carry the love and adoration it was also a direct feed to their pain and unhappiness and it was coming so fast from Danielle, filling Ronnie up to the point where she thought she might just explode.

"Get out! Get out!" Danielle raged, she was standing up now, screaming in Ronnie's face. Ronnie sat taking it all but refusing to move even an inch.

"You need to talk to me!" Ronnie shouted grabbing hold of Danielle's arm, Danielle recoiled like she'd been given an electric shock.

"Leave me alone!!" Danielle screamed, bashing her clenched fists against Ronnie, Ronnie simply stood and took every hit. Her eyes begging and pleading for Danielle to just talk to her. Roxy couldn't take anymore, she barged in between the pair and held Danielle back.

"Ron will you just take Amy downstairs! I'll sort this!" Roxy demanded, she was worried for Amy who had stopped playing and instead was listening to all of the loud noise looking scared and distressed. Ronnie hesitated for a second but then walked over to the bed and gathered Amy up into her arms before leaving the room. She turned around one last time before she left and watched as Danielle collapsed into Roxy's arms and she wished that it was her arms Danielle wanted wrapped around her and protecting her.

Ronnie made her way down the staircase, soothing Amy as she walked. She spotted Jean at the door of the living room looking around nervously, the minutes she saw that Ronnie had seen her she darted back in the room. Ronnie sighed and pushed the door to the front room. Jean indicated for her to sit down and the pair sat in an odd, awkward silence watching the snooker.

"It's not easy being a mum" Jean smiled, trying to comfort the distressed looking woman that was sat next to her. "Sometimes Stacey won't even speak to me, she'll just walk on past and that will be it."

Ronnie nodded silently, she wasn't really paying attention but she appreciated the effort. Amy wriggled in her arms, still distressed by all the shouting she had heard.

"Danielle's suffering... Keep an eye on her Ronnie" Jean warned.

"How do you mean?" Ronnie questioned, she was paying attention now, now she was hanging off Jean's every word.

"I've seen that look before Ronnie" Jean nodded "that place they sent me to, to get better. There were people just like that..."

"Danielle's not crazy" Ronnie insisted, realising her present company she suddenly figured she should probably use a more politically correct term "Sorry... She doesn't have mental health problems Jean she's just upset with me."

"It was there before that Ronnie." Jean smiled nervously before getting up to walk away "I must be getting on, i'll burn my fish fingers."

Ronnie sat not quite sure how to move from the Slater's sofa, she was pretty sure her legs were shaking far too much to be able to support her so she sat still and tried to make Jean's words disappear.


	49. The Sky Is Falling

_5 FEB 09- Woke up a few times in the night. My mind was in circles, as today's the day! However bad it sounds, a tiny part of me thinks that if it ends up bringing me and Ronnie close together - well, it won't all be in vain. OK. Got to go now. By the time I write another word everything will be different. Better? Hope so. Who knows. Not sure of anything any more. 09.35_

Roxy was scared, she didn't know what to do in situations like this because normally she'd call upon Ronnie to help. But Ronnie was only going to make things worse because Danielle was just so upset. It was frustrating and Roxy just wanted to tell Danielle everything was going to be ok but she couldn't promise that. Instead settling for stroking her hair the way that Ronnie always did, Roxy held on tight to Danielle listening to her sobbing.

Ronnie sat quietly, Amy too laid peacefully in her aunt's arms. Jean hadn't returned, the smell of burning that came wafting from the kitchen indicated that she was a little tied up but Ronnie appreciated being alone, it gave her time to think about everything that had happened recently. There were a lot of questions that Ronnie kept asking herself, mostly how she had managed to completely miss the fact that Danielle needed her more than ever. Ronnie had just been so focused on getting Danielle to like her... Her phone was vibrating and Ronnie had the strongest desire to just turn it off and forget all about it. But the number was Rebecca's rehab facility, sighing Ronnie pressed 'answer'.

"What?... Hospital?... I'm on my way" Ronnie rushed as she tried to take in what was being said to her. She was torn, such a big part of her was telling her to stay and wait for Danielle to calm down but Rebecca was in hospital and that was worrying as well. _Danielle doesn't want to talk to you right now, you need to give her time to calm down. _Ronnie rationalized. "Jean?" Ronnie called, watching as Jean emerged from the kitchen with what could only have been burnt fish finger dust on her face. "Erm do you think you can keep an eye on Amy, just until Roxy comes back down?" Ronnie asked, gathering her bag as Jean joyfully took hold of the little girl she had once believed to be her granddaughter.

"Where are you going Ronnie?" Jean asked, wondering what all the rushing and fussing was all about today.

"Rebecca needs me" Ronnie replied rushing out the door.

"Shall we watch TV Amy?" Jean smiled settling down on the sofa with the little girl.

Roxy upstairs was still racking her brains searching for something to say, searching for an answer to make Danielle feel better. What had she been talking about _he won't leave me alone? _It had been such a strange thing to say and it was worrying Roxy more than anything.

"Danni... Who won't leave you alone? You know earlier you were talking about a man..." Roxy started tenderly trying to broach the subject.

"I say I want him to leave me alone but I don't... Not really..." Danielle whimpered gently, nuzzling into Roxy's arms wishing that they were Ronnie's. Why had she shouted at her? She couldn't control herself anymore and it was starting to hurt her.

"Dan you need to tell me who you're talking about" Roxy insisted, could this person be trying to hurt her? What did he want and more than anything she wanted to know... Was it Archie?

"I can never find him Roxy, i've lost him" Danielle began to cry, Roxy was even more confused... This truely was too much Danielle needed Ronnie that much was obvious.

"Darling why don't we go find Ronnie, you want to talk to her don't you?" Roxy prayed the answer would be yes, she loved Danielle but it wasn't her place to deal with all of this.

"Ok" Danielle nodded but she was still in this weird trance and Roxy wasn't sure if Danielle even knew what she was agreeing to. Walking down the stairs together, Danielle leaned heavily on Roxy for support. They walked in the living room to see Jean and Amy sat together watching 'Bargain Hunt' there was no sign of Ronnie.

"Jean where's Ronnie?" Roxy asked, holding onto Danielle's hand.

"Gone out" Jean replied simply not taking her eyes from the television screen.

"Out?" Roxy asked, shocked and surprised she could only imagine that Ronnie had just popped out for some fresh air.

"Gone to see that other sister of yours... What's her name...?" Jean was searching her brain for a name that she couldn't find.

"... Rebecca" Danielle answered for her, her face crumpling as she realised Ronnie had walked away once again. Releasing Roxy's hand, Danielle pulled on her coat and ran as fast as she could out the door.

"Oh god... You'll look after Amy won't you Jean?" Roxy asked rushing to pull on her own coat.

"Oh yes" Jean smiled, oblivious to the mayhem that was happening around her.

***

"How many times are you planning on visiting hospital this year?" Ronnie asked with a small smile looking at her sister laid up in a hospital bed once again.

"This time it's not my fault" Rebecca laughed. The cut on her leg had become badly infected and the pain had gradually gotten worse. Not being able to take any medication to stop the pain had finally resulted in a very dramatic (and very exciting, Bec thought) faint.

"I'm just glad you're ok" Ronnie insisted, she was trying to hide the fact that she was upset and she thought she was doing a good job of it, but sadly for her Rebecca could see in Ronnie's eyes that there was something wrong.

"Come on spill, you're not that upset about my disgusting leg" Rebecca smiled.

"It's Danielle... She was so angry, she completely lost it" Ronnie sighed, remembering the look of pain and rage on Danielle's face.

"You just need to talk to her Ron, you shouldn't be here for starters" Rebecca scolded.

"The way they talked to me on the phone it sounded like you were dying! How was I to know it was just a manky leg" Ronnie teased

"Well you can go now i'm fine." Rebecca insisted, she wasn't planning on telling Ronnie just how much pain she was in.

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow though ok" Ronnie promised, kissing her sisters forehead she made her way out of the ward. When she was finally outside the hospital she turned her phone on and was shocked to see a whole load of missed messages from Roxy. Not even bothering to listen to them, Ronnie simply called Roxy, desperate to know what was happening.

"_Are you thick Ron?!_" Roxy didn't even say hello she just launched into a tirade of abuse _"How could you just leave? Come on Ronnie your daughter needed you and you just walked away!"_

"Roxy! Roxy will you listen to me! The centre called me to tell me that Rebecca was taken into hospital! What was I supposed to do?" Ronnie defended herself, but she realised how bad it must have looked to Danielle.

"_Oh god Ron is she ok?_" Roxy panicked

"She's going to be fine, she's got an infection and she fainted but how was I to know it wasn't serious Rox?" Ronnie sighed. "What's happening with Danielle, is she ok?"

"_Thats why i've been trying to call you Ron she's just gone off and..."_ Roxy trailed off not sure if she should tell Ronnie about what Danielle had been talking about.

"What Roxy? What!?" Ronnie asked desperately, her face showing

"_Ronnie she ain't acting right she keeps talking about someone that she's lost... But she can hear them Ron... I don't know... I don't know what to do Ronnie, please just tell me what to do"_ Roxy begged, tears streaming down her face and she walked round the Square once again desperately searching for Danielle

"Calm down, try and find her. I'm on my way, i'll sort this I promise" Ronnie insisted, hailing down the nearest taxi.

"Wait Ronnie... I know where she is... I've just seen her go into our house... What should I do?" Roxy panicked watching as Danielle made her way inside.

"Just leave her ok, i'll be there in no time at all I promise." Ronnie rushed, desperate to go home, desperate to make everything better.

**Starting extract shamelessly stolen from Danielle's diary... But there's a reason for everything ;) Thanks for the reviews as usual :D**


	50. We Are Lost

Ronnie pushed open the door, slowly because really, deep down she didn't want to confront what was on the other side. The room was dark, moonlight was all that lit up the tiny figure that sat in the corner. Ronnie approached, gently and careful not to alert attention to herself and saw that the figure was rocking her arms back and forth slowly as if she was cradling a baby.

"Danielle?" Ronnie whispered, her eyes transfixed on the slow rocking motion, the hands that were so carefully wrapped around the imaginary figure. It would have almost been beautiful if it wasn't quite so scary.

"Shush, you're going to wake him" Danielle insisted in a hushed voice, her eyes didn't move from the empty space between her arms. Soothing and gentle, Danielle brought her 'baby' closer to her chest. Ronnie knelt down in front of her and watched both fascinated and terrified.

"Wake who Danielle?" Ronnie asked, trying to catch Danielle's gaze but it was locked on the 'baby'.

"My baby... My son" Danielle insisted running a finger down where a cheek would be. "He kept crying for me but I couldn't find him... He's safe now though."

Ronnie stepped back slightly, her heart was racing as she watched this scene. How could she talk to Danielle? Rationalize with her? Explain to her that her 'baby' had died when she'd had the abortion... What was happening to her little girl? Ronnie felt sick as she gripped onto Danielle's arms desperate to bring her back to reality.

"He likes his grandma" Danielle smiled, this time she did look up and meet Ronnie's gaze but she was staring right through her. "Hey shush little one, we don't want you crying no, no... _A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain, __softly blows over lullaby bay..." _Danielle began to sing, a soft gentle voice that broke Ronnie's heart. She was this tiny little girl lost in the most painful of situations, her daughter, breaking down and losing control.

"Danni, honey come on now I need you to listen to me" Ronnie insisted, she placed her hand on Danielle's chin and lifted it up so that their eyes met yet again. "There is no one there, Danielle, no baby." Ronnie realised she sounded harsh but she needed to break through this fortress that Danielle was building around herself.

"You're a liar" Danielle glared at Ronnie. "You! You are just jealous because I have my baby and yours was taken away! Well I won't let you take him away from me I won't!" Danielle sounded almost hysterical now.

Ronnie's hands gripped tighter onto Danielle's arms as she tried to prise them apart, unlocking them from around the 'baby'. Danielle was fighting back with every ounce of strength she could manage. Her fingernails dragged down Ronnie's arms and making Ronnie wince in pain.

"NO!" Danielle screamed, her eyes wild she looked at Ronnie with utter contempt. She pulled her 'baby' close to her chest, supporting his head as she began to move away from Ronnie.

Ronnie couldn't let Danielle leave, she just couldn't. Grabbing Danielle around the waist she pulled her back. Danielle's sobs and screams even louder than before as she desperately tried to pull away. "You won't take my baby! I won't let you!" she hissed, collapsing in Ronnie's arms, sobs that came from the pit of her stomach that made Ronnie ache with each and every one.

_"It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries awa_y" Ronnie began to sing, it was all she could think to do "_it isn't far to Hushabye Mountain_." Soothing her little girl in her arms, Ronnie continued to sing, trying to keep Danielle as calm as she could manage. Danielle's sobs dulled slowly but eventually they were nothing but a rasping gasp that emerged every few minutes. Danielle became so calm so peaceful that eventually she was fast asleep in her mothers arms leaving Ronnie to reflect...

_Pregnant... Finding out she was pregnant sent her whole world crashing down. She was fourteen years old and she had lost the respect of her entire family, even Roxy didn't look at her with that same awe and respect that she always had done. Ronnie was a whole new person the second that baby had been taken from her arms._

_Runaway... Getting away from Archie, starting a new life in a new country. Ronnie always felt like she was a fraud. This happy face, was a lie. These people, these 'friends' were all false. They didn't know her real life, what had happened to her, what she had given away._

_Return... Back in London it was as if she couldn't hide anymore, it didn't help that her little girl would be turning eighteen, that made the desire stronger, because she there was a chance that maybe just maybe her Amy wanted her too._

_Death... In Weymouth, as she poured her heart out to her father. Desperate for him to understand her pain, he only added to that pain by ending every hope and dream she'd hung onto. Her baby was dead, her baby was gone, her baby had died in the arms of a stranger and she would never get her back._

_Jack... Supposed to be her saviour, supposed to love her and protect her but all he ever did was hurt her. Christmas was going to be their second chance and then her whole world fell apart. The two people in your life you believe you can truely rely on, your sister and the man you love... Together... It was hard enough being around Amy when she was just a constant reminder of everything that Ronnie had lost but now she had to factor in the fact that she was Jack's baby._

_Abortion... The girl that had come to her was an employee, a slightly stalker-ish, over-friendly employee. But Ronnie could see herself in that young girl. Now she tried to search her brain and ask herself whether she ever thought... She could be just like my daughter... Probably not, Ronnie was completely oblivious as she gave out advice to the scared young thing "having that baby was the biggest mistake of my life" she should have seen how crushed that poor girl looked, she knew Danielle was strange, she knew Danielle had that peculiar effect on her WHY didn't she see who she was! She called up and she rejected Danielle and with it she set them back, Danielle was more scared than ever to tell her who she was._

_Revelation... Finding Danielle with Amy the natural conclusion was that Danielle had lost her mind... That thought in particular was painful now as she rocked her sleeping daughter... Ronnie didn't understand what Danielle was saying. "Granddad told you!" Who was her granddad? What was she talking about? "That you're my mother!" she screamed, that girl had truely lost it! My daughters dead, Ronnie remembered rationalizing, but as the scared young girl begged her part of Ronnie was daring to dream, part of Ronnie could see her nose, the shape of her lips. No! It was just a fantasy, a sick fantasy and when her father told her it wasn't true it was far easier to believe him_

_Death... Her daughters second death was far more painful than the first, Ronnie always thought that it was the dying in a strangers arms that upset her the most but dying in her own arms was more soul destroying because at least before there was nothing she could have done, now there was a whole bunch of what-ifs?_

_Resurrection... Can you imagine sitting in a cafe and watching the person you loved the most, a person who had died right in front of your eyes, casually stroll in? Can you imagine being so desperate to get her back that you didn't bother to confront the whole mess of emotions inside you. Can you imagine bringing her into your life and acting as if everything was ok when inside you knew it just didn't feel right. Can you imagine loving somebody so completely and being so devoted to a person that you just can't be around them because you know deep down you're destroying them?_

Ronnie felt tears stream from her eyes, she was breaking down properly for the first time since... Since the day her baby had been taken away... Twenty years of emotion flooding out, her whole body shook with pain and agony. Here was her baby, sat in her arms, her baby completely destroyed and why? Because of her. Ronnie pulled at Danielle's arm, trying to hold it close to her and to feel the warmth of her child but instead what she did was expose her daughters pale, thin arms which were covered in criss-crossing cuts. Gasping Ronnie's traced a finger along a deep incision that ran up Danielle's arm, watching as she grunted in her sleep at the slight discomfort the pressure caused.

So many bad things had happened to Ronnie but Danielle had suffered as well. A broken little girl coping with being given up for adoption, given to the best parents in the world but still not changing the fact that someone hadn't wanted her in the first place. That locket, perhaps it was the biggest mistake because it constantly dragged her back to thoughts of what if... She would look at that picture that was almost a mirror of her own reflection and constantly be wondering is she thinking about me? Danielle had grew older, a teenager but she was awkward and uncomfortable and it had turned into a deep sadness that she had tried to hide from everyone.

Danielle had come so close to losing it after what had happened with Joel... Somehow she had found her last remaining ounce of strength to pull herself back but things had been descending for months. The abortion had been haunting her, her baby had been haunting her... He would cry desperate for his mummy and Danielle could never find him. She ignored these thoughts though, she knew nobody would understand.

She had found that she needed Ronnie, desperately needed her more than anyone else in the whole wide world but every time they even got close Danielle would panic and pull away. She was scared that once Ronnie really knew her she'd see the mess that she was and she would want her anymore. Danielle was flooded with guilt over everything that had happened, hurting Ronnie, letting Archie back into their lives and how that had been responsible for Rebecca's own downfall.

Mirrors, they're everywhere. Reflective surfaces that constantly show you who you are. Danielle couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to look in a mirror without the image haunting her, calling her, goading her and threatening to reach out and destroy her. She had seen all the warnings early on, she knew something wasn't right and she ignored the signs because she didn't want Ronnie to find out what her 'baby' really was, it was too late now Ronnie had seen it all. Confronted by a breakdown seismic in scale.

"We're a mess baby... I thought we'd fix each other but we're just too broken..." Ronnie sobbed.


	51. Slow Dance

"_I have this dream, this dream again and again where i'm running up this stairs, up, up and just ahead of me there are these tiny little feet, child's feet and I keep trying to reach out and grab them but I can't and sometimes I think i'll just catch a glimpse of her face or sometimes i'll be on the street and i'll see a young girl or a teenager and i'll think that's her! that's my Amy. I even followed one once how crazy does that make me? Because i'll probably never see her again..."_

Ronnie held on tight to Danielle, still sat in the middle of the room with the lights turned off. Ronnie hadn't slept, she'd just sat watching and thinking. There was so much to think of, so much to take in... It was beginning to get light outside and Ronnie watched as Danielle blinked open her eyes, there was a moment of calm before Danielle panicked and moved away from Ronnie. The two women were both sat on the floor still but with a huge distance between them. Ronnie wanted to smile but she couldn't manage it, instead she just stared trying to figure out the expression on Danielle's face. It was a mixture of confusion and fear, Ronnie decided... Was she aware of what had happened last night? Ronnie couldn't read her at all, she just looked lost.

"Baby..." Ronnie started, she couldn't finish the sentence she didn't know what to say.

"What am I doing here?" Danielle asked, she had a horrible feeling she already knew but she didn't want to bring it up...

"I think... I think we should go to the doctors... I think we should talk to someone" Ronnie began calmly, she needed help with what was happening she couldn't deal with it alone.

"I don't want... I don't need a doctor!" Danielle shouted, she was tense and angry and Ronnie was looking at her with such concern.

"Baby please, you need to talk to someone" Ronnie pushed, she was so scared of losing Danielle that she just wanted to make everything better.

"No!" Danielle snapped, standing up she was backing away rapidly. She was glaring at Ronnie now, why was she doing this? Why was she hurting her like this?

"Can you hear him still?" Ronnie asked, remembering what Danielle had told Roxy.

"Who? I can't hear anyone! I'm not crazy" Danielle insisted, her movement was all of the place. She was shaking and rubbing at her face.

"I didn't say you were. I'm asking if you can hear him?" Ronnie demanded, she needed to know. It reminded her of the times when she thought she'd heard footsteps, little girls footsteps... It was grief and it was loss and it was haunting Danielle the same way it had her.

"_...These tiny little feet, child's feet and I keep trying to reach out and grab them but I can't..."_

"No. Sometimes I think it's a dream and sometimes it just feels so real" Danielle sighed

"I get it ok. I understand." Ronnie insisted trying to hold onto Danielle's hands but Danielle refused to respond, refused to wrap her fingers round Ronnie's.

"You don't! You'll never understand! You think I need help!" Danielle cried breaking away completely.

"I think we both need to talk to someone Danielle! I think this has gone too far!" Ronnie cried back, she just needed Danielle to understand.

"I am fine! I am normal!" Danielle insisted glaring at Ronnie.

Ronnie rushed over to Danielle, she had a furious determination about her which scared Danielle. Ronnie pulled up one of Danielle's sleeves and grabbed onto her arm.

"This isn't normal... This is someone hurting" Ronnie whispered, her eyes gazing into Danielle's.

"It was an accident." Danielle muttered pulling her arm away.

Ronnie looked astonished but pulled up her own sleeve to show Danielle where she had dug her fingernails into her the day before.

"This is an accident Danielle!" Ronnie shouted

Danielle was shocked but remembered how she'd tried to fight Ronnie, there was dried blood under her fingernails where she'd scratched Ronnie.

"I did that?" Danielle asked, not wanting to believe she'd caused her mother pain.

"You were angry, it doesn't matter. What matters is getting you help and making everything better" Ronnie sighed.

"I'm sorry" Danielle whimpered as she began to break down.

Ronnie moved over and wrapped her arms around her baby girl, this time Danielle didn't pull away. It was a moment of clarity when she realised that there was only one thing she wanted- her mother and she had her. Everything else didn't matter but she knew she had to talk to someone like Ronnie had asked her to, she had to do that one thing that her mother had asked.

"I need you" Danielle sobbed, gripping on so tightly but Ronnie didn't mind. It was everything she wanted, but it also scared her. "I'll talk to someone I promise... But i'm not crazy"

Ronnie could see the insistence and determination in Danielle's eyes and knew she needed to reassure her.

"I know. I never thought you were, I think you're just hurting and its all getting too much." Ronnie nodded stroking her daughters face. "Why don't you go and sleep baby, your beds still all made up."

Danielle nodded and made her way to the bedroom leaving Ronnie to sigh and sit down. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she looked over as the front door creaked open and watched as Roxy and Amy creeped in. Roxy flashed her a sympathetic smile before sitting down, Ronnie took Amy from her sisters arms and held the little girl close.

"I stayed at Auntie Peg's last night, thought you needed the space." Roxy explained, rubbing Ronnie's arm. "Where's Danielle?"

"Sleeping in her room. Oh Roxy it was awful" Ronnie began to cry, Roxy wasn't quite sure what to do other than continue to comfort Ronnie by stroking her arm.

"Everything is going to be alright Ron. We'll put this family back together, I promise" Roxy assured. She hated seeing Ronnie so raw and exposed, this wasn't the way Ronnie operated. Danielle had stripped away that shield and now Ronnie was getting attacked with no protection.

**Sorry for the lack of updates this weekend! I needed a bit of a break. The speech at the beginning, if anyone is interested, is taken from Ronnie and Archie's conversation in Weymouth... It took me ages to work out where i'd heard it, had to search through lots of clips! I wanted to draw that parallel between Ronnie's dreams and Danielle's hallucinations. Thanks for the reviews :D**


	52. The Way We Talk

_Ronnie didn't have friends. Roxy had friends and most of them put on the pretense of liking Ronnie because the two of them had always been a package deal but there was no-one Ronnie could call her own. It hadn't always been that way, there had been a group of girls Ronnie had hung about with but the pregnancy had alienated half of them, mothers not wanting their daughters to associate with the pregnant girl. The other half had slipped away when Ronnie had come back to school a completely different person. There had been a teacher... Mrs Shaw who had been watching Veronica Mitchell, felt sorry for her and was scared at the path of self-destruction the young girl was taking. Catching her sneaking out of school for what must have been the third time that week Mrs Shaw sat Ronnie down in an empty classroom and tried to find a way in. "Veronica... If you want to talk..." Mrs Shaw began, the young girl in front of her was exactly that a girl. But she'd been pregnant and given away a child and that was a lot to deal with. "I don't want to talk, just let me go back to class" Ronnie grunted, unwilling to let anyone in. "You weren't heading to class when I caught you Veronica, you were heading off school premises" Mrs Shaw sighed. "Why does it matter? I'm a screw up, i've messed up my life and there's no point in pretending otherwise" Ronnie muttered. "Maybe I could organise for someone to talk to you Veronica" Mrs Shaw smiled, dropping down to her knees so that she was at Ronnie's level who was sat down at a desk. "I don't want to talk." Ronnie insisted, walking straight out the room._

"You two are a psychiatrists wet dream" Roxy smiled, trying to lighten the situation but noticing the look of concern on Ronnie's face. Roxy knew that Ronnie would do anything she could to avoid talking to someone about what had happened in her life all the bad things that had brought her to this moment. Roxy could see that Ronnie was so serious about trying to make everything with Danielle better.

"Not sure I like the idea of someone getting inside my head but I think it's the only way i'm going to get Danielle to talk to someone" Ronnie sighed, the thought of spilling out her deep dark secrets, pains and emotions absolutely repulsed her. Ronnie was a private person, kept herself to herself.

"It might do you good Ron, you've been keeping things bottled up for so long" Roxy smiled gently. "Look this probably isn't a good time but Rebecca called me last night, she's out of hospital and her councillor is saying he thinks she's going to be ready to home soon."

"How's her leg?" Ronnie asked, ignoring that last part about her sister coming home, she couldn't quite deal with it just yet.

"Better she said, I think she's in a lot of pain though. It's difficult readjusting to not being able to just make pain go away with a pill" Roxy explained, she'd noticed how Ronnie had sidestepped the issue of Rebecca coming home but decided to let it pass.

"I'm going to check on Danielle" Ronnie smiled moving away towards the bedroom, passing Amy back to Roxy. Roxy just sat back and looked at her daughter, grateful for the uncomplicated bundle of joy that she was.

Ronnie crept into the room and looked at Danielle curled up, breathing gently looking so peaceful. Slipping into bed next to her, Ronnie just wanted to have her daughter close.

***

Roxy had left the house shortly after Ronnie had gone in to check on Danielle, Roxy knew they wouldn't emerge for the rest of the day. Getting Amy's things and her pram Roxy set off to visit Rebecca. She needed to talk to someone and Rebecca was slowly getting back to being the level-headed confident she used to be before every bad had got in the way. It was strange taking Amy, Roxy had been so determined that her sister would never get anywhere near her daughter again after what had happened. But she had decided it was a very different thing being there alongside her, she might not trust her to be alone with Amy but if Rebecca was to move back home Roxy had to make things somewhat normal.

Rebecca's face instantly lit up when she saw her sister and niece approach. Roxy had sounded distracted the night before and she guessed it had something to do with the fact that Roxy was sleeping at the Vic rather than the house. She didn't want to pry though, Rebecca felt strangely detached from her family and she needed to rebuild her relationship with both her sisters and her nieces.

"Hey you" Rebecca grinned, she couldn't get up to hug Roxy because she was sat with her leg elevated on a foot stool.

"Hows the manky leg kid?" Roxy teased, kissing her sisters cheek and sitting down next to her.

"A lot less manky actually" Rebecca informed, looking at Amy she smiled but was immediately hit with a wave of guilt as she thought about the danger she'd but the oblivious little girl in.

"So they're recommending you come home soon?" Roxy asked, trying to read Rebecca's face. Was that fear or excitement? Roxy wasn't quite sure.

"I'm not sure about it..." Rebecca trailed off, it was definitely fear that look.

"You've been amazing" Roxy assured "but you're probably right about being unsure about home..."

"What's happening now?" Rebecca asked, she hadn't meant to pry but the perfect opportunity had arose and she couldn't pass up on it.

"The whole Ronnie and Danielle time-bomb has exploded yet again" Roxy sighed, it was so frustrating for someone on the outside. Even as Ronnie's sister Roxy could never understand the complexity of emotions that festered between Ronnie and Danielle or the pain that both of them had experienced for the past twenty years.

"I'm guessing now isn't a good time for me to be getting in the mix" Rebecca smiled lightly, trying to work out where she would go and what she would do now.

"Oh no way, you're coming home. I need support, protection and normality" Roxy insisted

"Oh right and you're going to get that from your recovering drug addict little sister" Rebecca laughed, it was a sad time in the Mitchell family when her and Roxy were considered normal.

"I'm not quite sure how I ended up being the only member of this family who doesn't have a councillor" Roxy looked slightly bemused, she was supposed to be the wild and wacky one but she'd always been so protected nothing could get to her.

"Wow... Are those two ok? Ronnie looked pretty distracted the other day when she came to see me" Rebecca noted

"I think they will be, Danielle lost it a bit... She's jealous of you and Ronnie's relationship" Roxy admitted, she regretted it instantly as Rebecca looked a bit lost.

"Well I need to keep my distance then." Rebecca decided, she didn't want to be the cause of anymore pain in this family.

"No you don't. Danielle is so confused and upset at the moment that she's just searching for reasons to fall out with Ronnie." Roxy sighed, she felt like she was being disloyal to Danielle but she couldn't let Rebecca feel guilty for Danielle's insecurities.

"So home..." Rebecca smiled, the thought of being back with her family both exciting and terrifying her.

***

"I'm going to get you something nice to eat from the shop, i'll be five minutes baby" Ronnie promised kissing Danielle's forehead. Danielle nodded silently watching as Ronnie left the room and then minutes later the house. It wasn't long before there was a knock, Danielle ignored it but it wouldn't go away. So getting up Danielle made her way over to the front door and slowly opened it.

"Hi Danielle" Janine smiled.


	53. Stand In The Spotlight

_That night in the club, that night that Paul was there, that night that she'd found out Stacey had told him about the abortion. She was so angry, she'd been angry for months but this was the moment where she'd prove she wasn't just a push over. Danielle had been watching Ronnie all night, she couldn't help it, whenever she was around she felt that undeniable pull and she would sit hoping and praying that Ronnie would feel it too. "It's not me you want, anything I do or say isn't going to make you feel any better... She's standing over there!" Stacey had taunted, she was sick and tired of Danielle's moping, sick and tired of always being the one to blame or always being the one to pick up the pieces. "Leave Ronnie out of this" Danielle warned, she could feel anger bubbling up inside her. "You can't sit on this forever Dan! Everytime you try and plug the leak it springs out somewhere else!" Stacey snapped, why couldn't Danielle see she was hurting herself more by keeping this a secret? "You don't know what you're talking about!" Danielle cried, trying to contain the pain inside was getting harder and harder. "Go on then show me, show me i'm wrong! Tell Ronnie! Go on Dan set yourself free!" Stacey was taunting her again and Danielle was struggling. "I didn't think so" Stacey was almost mocking her now, knowing that Danielle wasn't strong enough to end this cruel cycle "Where are you going?" Danielle panicked as Stacey went to move "To put both of us out of our misery!" Stacey called, this was it! She was going to march up Ronnie and give Danielle no choice but to tell her the truth, Danielle would be upset with her at first but this had to end! "I don't think so" Danielle growled pulling Stacey back, she remembered what Ronnie had said to her 'get a backbone!' well this would prove to her and to Stacey that she wasn't to be messed with. Pulling Stacey to a dark corner towards the toilets "What are you doing?" Stacey yelped, she couldn't believe the force of Danielle's grip "get off me" she squirmed trying to break free. "I decide where, I decide when and I decide how! You understand me!" Danielle yelled, slamming Stacey into the bathroom wall "If you ever go near her again I will rip your head off!" Danielle warned, she couldn't believe what was coming from her mouth but it felt so good! It felt like she finally had control of the situation that the power was in her hands..._

"What are you doing here?" Danielle asked, narrowing her eyes at Janine not realising just how much she looked like Ronnie in that very second. It was almost unnerving for Janine, a glimpse of strength that Janine hadn't realised Danielle possessed.

"Well... I never said sorry for running you over" Janine smiled, she was trying to find a way in but Danielle was making her tiny frame as big as possible to block the entrance.

"I never said sorry for letting you believe I was dead... I guess we're even Janine" Danielle gave a false smile and went to close the door. Janine was quick to stick her foot out and prevent the door from closing.

"Hey come on Danielle aren't you going to offer me a cup of tea?" Janine gave a sickly sweet smile that did nothing but repulse Danielle, she was so transparent it was ridiculous.

"No" Danielle grunted this time slamming the door leaving Janine stood looking astonished, why was this so hard?!

"Danielle! Come on this is just rude!" Janine shouted through the letterbox, Danielle stood looking slightly confused before letting Janine into the house. Whatever Janine was up to it was better to have an idea of it rather than just let her walk way.

"How's Bec?" Janine asked, that false smile plastered on her face once again. Danielle's eyes were drawn to the large bruise on Janine's face.

"Better now she's away from you" Danielle spat, she couldn't help but let the anger spill out. She'd never liked Janine, from the moment she'd laid eyes on her... Perhaps it was a forewarning that she would be the one to almost end her life.

"Oh come on Danielle, thing really don't need to be like this, really." Janine insisted, she was starting to think befriending Danielle was going to be a lot more difficult than she'd first thought. She looked completely wrecked yet she was still standing strong, facing her down and not budging an inch.

"I don't like you, my mother doesn't like you in fact Janine I think you'd find it difficult to find a person round here that can even bare to spend more a few minutes in your company." Danielle delivered this little speech with a huge smile on her face, she wasn't sure where this confidence was coming from but she loved it.

"That's not nice. You know Danielle, you should watch yourself because as much as you try to pretend it isn't true even you know deep down that Ronnie is incapable of loving anyone but herself. That whole family is selfish, you looked like you realised that last night when I saw you running over here..." Janine raised an eyebrow as she noticed her words penetrating Danielle's front.

"Last night was nothing..." Danielle muttered turning away from Janine.

"What was it I heard Roxy saying to Peggy last night... 'Danielle's losing it' or something along those lines... Yeah your 'family' are a caring bunch" Janine laughed.

Danielle could feel anger bubbling up, it wasn't just what Janine was saying it was everything that had happened recently, all the hurt and all the pain and it was time for it to be released. It almost seemed impossible this slight little thing overpowering Janine but Janine was pinned to the wall unable to move.

"Don't think you're going to get to me Janine. 'Losing it'? That makes me dangerous right? You want to see how dangerous I can be Janine? You thought my mum had sorted you out with that little thing?" Danielle touched Janine's bruised face, purposely pushing at the worst area to watch Janine squirm with pain.

"Get off me!" Janine growled, trying to scare Danielle whilst trying to disguise her own fear.

"There are better ways to earn money than to work for my grandfather Janine. Don't think your plan is subtle because we can all see through it. Quit now and we'll go back to just thinking of you as a insignificant little annoyance rather than as a threat. Mitchell's are quite good at sorting out threats Janine remember that." Danielle threatened, releasing Janine and watching her scurry off shamefaced.

***

Patrick watched as Ronnie stood in the store, she looked lost but he didn't want to say anything. She'd been still for about five minutes, holding a packet of biscuits in her hand looking into space. Finally it was becoming a bit too much and Patrick just needed to do something.

"We have a special offer on the other ones" he smiled breaking Ronnie from her trance.

"Oh... Right... Erm yes" Ronnie stuttered, a little lost and unable to properly process words.

"You ok?" Patrick asked, slightly hesitantly not knowing the reaction he would get from Ronnie, she had never been the talkative type.

"I'm ok thanks." Ronnie deflected, she smiled to be polite but gave little else away.

"Must be nice having that girl of yours around, she got a smile to light up a whole room" Patrick grinned, remembering how relieved he had felt that day he'd found out Danielle was alive. There were few people around here with a truely good heart and that girl was definitely one of them.

"The best" Ronnie gushed placing her items down on the counter. "How do you know if you're doing a good job... Being a parent?"

Patrick was slightly taken back, he certainly hadn't expected Ronnie to ask him for advice and he wasn't even sure he was in a good enough position to be offering it.

"Even when they're angry at you, even when you think everything is going wrong... You walk in that room and there's a glint in their eyes that tells you that they feel safe and loved in your presence, that's when you know" Patrick smiled, he'd been absent for a lot of Paul and Anthony's lives and it had taken a long time for them to look at him that way. Watching Ronnie's face he tried to decide whether he'd said the right thing or not.

"Thank you" Ronnie rushed, pulling her shopping bags away she dashed out the door. Part of her was rushing to get away, the other part was just rushing to get back to Danielle to search her eyes for reassurance.

***

Danielle looked up at the door to see Ronnie bustling through with some shopping bags from the Minute Mart. As always Ronnie took her breath away and she smiled at her mother.

Ronnie looked at Danielle, she saw that glint in Danielle's eyes as she entered the room and her heart lept.

"You look happier" Ronnie noticed, running her hand down Danielle's cheek.

"I've had a very productive 15 minutes" Danielle smiled "i've made an appointment at the doctors so I can get a referral... You're right I do need to talk to someone, my heads all over the place at the moment. I also sorted out a little problem..."

"Problem?" Ronnie asked looking concerned.

"Don't worry about it... Mum. Everything is going to be alright" Danielle nodded, this time she was the one wrapping her arms around Ronnie. Changes... Janine had thought she could manipulate Danielle when she was weak but all she'd really done is help Danielle to see things a lot clearer. There were still so many problems, so many issues but once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

**I'm really sorry about how infrequent updates have been, i'm having a crappy week and just haven't been on the internet or even writing a lot. I'm a little lost at the moment with my writing so I apologise if you feel the standard is slipping. The actual conversation in the flashback is taken from the episode on the 9th March where Danielle flips at Stacey. Thanks for the reviews :D**


	54. Keep It Simple

_They placed the tiny baby in Ronnie's arms, there was nothing that Archie could do to stop that. The nurse warned that it wouldn't be long before they came to get the little girl. "Are you sure about this darling?" The nurse asked, it wasn't her place to be saying this but she saw something in the teenager that was bothering her, it was a complete and utter devotion to the creature that laid in her arms. The nurse had seen a handful of teenage mums and most of them just looked overwhelmed but this one, she wanted to be a mother, she was a mother anyone could see that. Ronnie nodded, remembering everything her dad had said to her about how she would only let down the little girl, how she would be better with a proper family. It was only because she was so completely in love with her baby that she could even consider giving her away, she knew that was a strange thought but it was true. Loving someone that much, it was selfless, it was about making them happy even if it broke you in two. Ronnie let her mind tune into the sound of the radio, that Cher song for what must have been the hundredth time, that DJ had a weird obsession with it Ronnie laughed. In that split second she almost forgot what was happening but she was plunged back to reality incredibly quickly when her little girl grabbed onto her finger, gripping on with all the strength she could muster in her tiny hand. Ronnie didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as she loved her baby in that moment. The most gorgeous thing that ever existed, Ronnie just didn't want her to let go..._

Ronnie wanted to just enjoy this moment, she wanted to just sit back and relax with her little girl in her arms but nothing was ever that simple. Ronnie stroked absentmindedly at Danielle's hair trying to find a way to bring up all her concerns without pushing Danielle away again. She wondered what Danielle was thinking, they were locked in this silent bubble just listening to the reassuring sound of each other breathing. Both looked concerned and tense, staring straight ahead.

Ronnie let her arm drop, running her finger along Danielle's arm she watched as her daughter flinched.

"You want to talk about this?" Ronnie asked, leaping onto an opportunity desperately hoping that Danielle would open up to her. She was needed answers, she needed to understand.

"It's nothing. Please stop worrying about it" Danielle insisted pulling herself away, she couldn't bare for Ronnie to look at her with that pitying stare. She didn't want Ronnie to look at her like she was broken. She just wanted to forget those dark days, forget the way that she'd let everything build up and ignore the way that pain and anger had almost consumed her.

"I just want to know baby, nothing will stop me loving you." Ronnie coaxed gently, she wanted Danielle to feel completely comfortable talking to her, she knew that was a lot ask but Ronnie wanted to make things better and the only way she could do that was through Danielle opening up to her. Ronnie looked in Danielle's eyes and watched as Danielle dropped her shoulders, defeated she began to talk.

"It really was an accident... At first... We'd been arguing and I wasn't looking where I was going and I caught my arm on the door, the sharp bit on the corner scraping my skin, cutting me open. I just sat there watching as a line of crimson emerged but it wasn't pain I was feeling... It was relief." Danielle began to explain, she was shaking as she bared her soul to her mother letting her in on every single detail. It had been such a bizarre discovery, physical pain dulling mental pain.

"So you did it again?" Ronnie asked, trying to steady the quivering little girl next to her with reassuring hands placed calmly on her shoulders.

"It was like hitting the mute button on the voices in my head, the sound of the baby crying just out of reach, the sound of Archie when he told me all the hateful things that used to torment me, the sound of... The sound of you asking who'd want a daughter like me" Danielle admitted that last bit with hesitation, she didn't want to blame Ronnie for what had happened but she couldn't keep containing the way she felt.

"I am so sorry" Ronnie gasped, feeling sick at the mention of the hurt she had caused Danielle. She held Danielle even closer, she wanted her to feel safe and secure.

"Lets not talk about this anymore... It feels like forever since we've just done stupid mother and daughter stuff" Danielle begged, she knew Ronnie was trying to help and she knew that getting it out in the open was helping but really it was something as simple as just being able to enjoy being there with her mum that made everything so much easier.

"Crappy tv?" Ronnie suggested, putting a smile instantly on Danielle's face. Progress would be made slowly Ronnie knew that, Danielle had begun to open up, she wouldn't push her any further tonight.

"You find something, i'm just popping to the loo" Danielle grinned, her smile only faltering slightly when she pulled herself from Ronnie's grasp, it had felt so warm and safe in her mothers arms. There was no feeling like it.

Ronnie let herself settle into the softness of the sofa and she felt like she was finally breathing, her ears pricked up as she heard the front door bang.

"No arguing... No tears... Am I in the right house?" Roxy smiled as she walked in to find Ronnie looking almost relaxed, flicking through some tv channels.

Ronnie turned around and narrowed her eyes at her sister complete with disapproving smile. Roxy looked confused until she watched Danielle walk in behind her, Roxy hadn't expected Danielle to still be here. Clearly things were going better than expected.

"We thought we'd give it a rest... Just for tonight" Danielle teased, flopping down on the sofa next to Ronnie.

Roxy tried to catch Ronnie's eyes and give her a concerned look but Ronnie seemed determined to enjoy the moment she was sharing with her daughter. Roxy couldn't let it go though.

"Ronnie can you come and help me with something a sec?" Roxy asked, her voice demanding that Ronnie come and speak with her. The tone wasn't unnoticed by Ronnie and Danielle.

"Later Rox" Ronnie groaned, not wanting to get into anything right now.

"No Ron now" Roxy snapped causing Ronnie to roll her eyes and get up moving towards Roxy who pulled her out into the corridor.

"What!" Ronnie hissed, resenting Roxy for pulling her away and bringing her back into the reality where things weren't alright.

"Ronnie you can't just close your eyes and pretend she's fine. You saw her the other day, she was an absolute mess!" Roxy warned, she hated bursting her sisters bubble, more than anything she wanted her to be happy but she needed to face up to the reality that Danielle had been though a lot and it was taking its toll on her.

"I get it ok! I'm not stupid, I can see my daughters hurting but I can't keep on lecturing her. She's getting help, she's going to talk to someone I will make sure of that but right now I just want to make her feel normal and make her feel loved!" Ronnie snapped, she knew Roxy was worried about the two of them but she wanted to feel in control, she wanted to be the one to save Danielle as selfish as that sounded.

"Bec's coming home tomorrow. Make sure Danielle's ready for that because I don't want Bec coming home thinking no one wants her here" Roxy grunted turning away.

Ronnie made her way back to the living room, fixing a smile on her face to put Danielle at ease. Arranging themselves back into a comfortable position, Danielle took a deep breath before turning her head to face Ronnie.

"I want to move back. This is going to sound childish but... I need someone to look after me" Danielle admitted in a tiny voice, her hand gripping onto Ronnie's her fingers hanging onto Ronnie's reminding Ronnie of when she'd held that tiny little baby in the hospital twenty years before.

"We'll get your stuff tomorrow" Ronnie smiled, completely forgetting what Roxy had told her just minutes before.


	55. Tangled Up

"_London? Why London Danni?" Andy shook his head in disbelief, it had seemed so sudden his little girl packing her bags and preparing to leave. "Opportunities dad, got to spread my wings a little" Danielle gave a small smile, she hated lying to him. Part of her desperately wanted to tell him the truth, tell him that she was going to London to find Veronica Mitchell the girl in the locket... Her mum. "You're happy though aren't you Danni? You have your job, everyone in that office loves you Danielle. What about your friends? They'll miss you too much Danielle... Oh don't go" Andy begged, Danielle looked so distant he just wanted to reach out and keep her as close as possible. Since Lizzie had died Danielle had held him together, lifted him up when he was at his lowest, looked after him and kept him running. Without her he didn't know what he would do. "Dad come on London's not that far away, and i'll come back and visit all the time. I love you!" Danielle grinned trying to put her father at ease. "Is it because of your mum Danni?" Andy asked his expression one of deep concern, he knew his daughter had been in so much pain since Lizzie had died, maybe she'd spent so much time looking after him he'd missed how much she needed someone to look after her. "No dad." Danielle insisted... Not the mum you're thinking of anyway, she thought._

It was getting late, neither Danielle or Ronnie were paying any attention to what was on television. They were both too lost in their own thoughts to worry about that... As much as they had tried to have a 'normal' night, it hadn't happened. Too many worries, too many unanswered questions.

"Where do you think we'll be ten years time?" Danielle asked, speaking her thoughts aloud but immediately blushing realising how soppy she sounded, she was breaking the silence that had stood between them for almost an hour now and Ronnie was slightly taken aback by the question. It didn't take long for her to come up with an answer though.

"Well you'll probably be all loved up with some gorgeous hunk and will only come and see your lonely spinster mother on weekends and even then it will just be a pity visit" Ronnie teased, loving the fact that Danielle was talking about the future, and more importantly a future which had the two of them in it.

"Hmm yes, well it will depend on how busy I am, maybe we make it every other weekend?" Danielle laughed "I will of course be very busy with my hunk!' Danielle knew she could never be so busy with a man to ignore her mother though, she couldn't imagine ever being separated from Ronnie again.

"Oh yes, well if you can clear a space in your schedule then your dear old mother would love to see you" Ronnie smiled, cuddling her daughter even closer. She suddenly noticed that Danielle was starting to cry which took her by surprise.

"Hey... Baby come on, what's up?" Ronnie soothed, wiping away a tear from Danielle's cheek. She couldn't work out why Danielle was crying, they'd been having such a nice, easy conversation.

"I don't deserve you" Danielle sniffed, but she wasn't pulling away she was burying herself deeper into Ronnie's arms, trying to make the gap between them as small as possible. She'd spent so much time recently pushing Ronnie away, she'd come so close to losing the bond she fought so hard to forge with her mother.

"No... You deserve better" Ronnie whispered kissing Danielle's head tenderly, a tear falling from her own eye now, she just wanted to make everything better. Stop Danielle from hurting because that's what a parent is supposed to do, protect your child and make everything alright for them.

"Why does it hurt so much? Why can't I just be happy? I've got everything I ever wanted..." Danielle trailed off, she was searching Ronnie, looking for answers and solutions but finding nothing.

"Maybe... Maybe i'm not enough" Ronnie muttered, her eyes drawn again to her daughters fragile arms, wanting to make the cuts disappear, wanting her baby to be unblemished and uncomplicated. To find the magic solution that would make Danielle happy again. Ronnie blamed herself for all of Danielle's pain, Andy's words after the funeral still haunted her.

"_When her mum died Danielle cried for weeks, she had the softest kindest heart. I think she must have got that from Lizzie..."_

All Ronnie could think was how she had changed that little girl, corrupted her and made her into a carbon copy of herself. Self-hating, hard and completely and utterly messed up.

"No!" Danielle proclaimed, taking Ronnie by surprise. Danielle looked like she was deep in thought, trying to figure out how she was feeling but unable to find the words. She couldn't stand to see Ronnie in pain anymore, didn't want Ronnie to be haunted anymore by events which were out of her control.

"You were happy before you came to find me baby, all those bad things in your life are connected to me" Ronnie released Danielle from her grip, remembering what Danielle had said about how Ronnie's physical touch seemed to completely mess with her brain and leave her thinking of nothing else but her. But Danielle pulled Ronnie back, she didn't want Ronnie to let go, she didn't want to feel alone.

"I was lost before I found you" Danielle smiled, tears were emerging faster than ever now. "All those mistakes were mine... All you did was give me up and who can blame you, you were fourteen and you wanted to give me a better life. All the rest was down to me. Punishing myself made me feel better"

Ronnie didn't know what to say to this, they could sit there all night blaming themselves for what had happened but it didn't fix things. Trusting her instinct to do the right thing she lifted Danielle's arm and delicately kissed one of the cuts on her arm, like a mother kissing a child better when they'd fell and grazed their knee. Danielle watched in awe, she tried to pull away but Ronnie wouldn't let her she wouldn't let Danielle feel ashamed anymore.

"I will make you better" Ronnie promised.


	56. Bodies

_Danielle was laying in bed, she could hear Stacey breathing heavily, tossing and turning in her sleep. She was so worried about Jean, Danielle was surprised she was sleeping at all... Her thoughts turned from Stacey's troubles to her own, placing a hand to her stomach she thought about what was in there... A baby... Gulping she tried to shake the thought, it's not a baby she told herself, it's nothing, just a problem waiting to be sorted. Danielle tried to stop a tear from falling, she wanted to stay strong and the thing that was keeping her strong was the thought of Ronnie "you could ask me?" Ronnie didn't know how much that statement had meant, she was the only person in the world Danielle wanted help from and she was going to be there. Going to be holding her hand and telling her everything was going to be ok, that was all she could think about now, all that time they would spend just her and Ronnie. They'd go to the first appointment, they'd talk lots and arrange to meet up again for the second and after the second she'd ask Ronnie out for dinner... Just to say thanks... Ronnie would smile and say it was a good idea, they'd sit and have dinner and afterwards they'd just go for a walk or something and Ronnie would say something like 'you're like a daughter to me' and then Danielle would turn around and say 'that's because I am' and Ronnie would be so happy, they'd hug, they'd talk and then they'd be together... At last._

"You make me so nervous" Danielle giggled awkwardly, she had just seen Ronnie completely open and exposed and it had scared her. Danielle was suddenly aware of the immense power she had here and she didn't want to abuse it.

"Sorry" Ronnie muttered, she let go of Danielle's arm and cursed herself for doing the wrong thing again. The situation had almost been reversed, Ronnie was like the child looking scared and nervous.

"Don't be sorry, you're doing everything right. You're making everything better" Danielle insisted, stroking her mothers cheek. How could she make Ronnie stop blaming herself for what Danielle was going through?

"Do you want to talk about the abortion?" Ronnie asked, almost hesitantly, she didn't want to upset Danielle but everything with the 'baby' had really scared her. She knew that Danielle had regrets but it was obviously effecting her in a way Ronnie could never understand.

"I don't know if I can" Danielle admitted, rubbing at her face the way she always did when she was concerned or upset about something a trait she had inherited from her mother.

"I said all the wrong things when I was supposed to be helping you. I let my personal feelings and what had happened to me affect you." Ronnie was shaking her head, a deep embarrassment and regret that she had hurt her daughter so badly. Thinking back it was the only time they'd truely been able to bond but Ronnie had failed her and that would haunt her for the rest of their lives.

"It's not you... I wasn't even thinking about the baby half the time. I ended up just seeing it as an opportunity to spend time with you. Maybe thats what this is now. I regret being so selfish, for only thinking of myself that whole time. You know the night after the first appointment I sat there planning bungee jumps and having fun! I was relieved that he was gone" Danielle bowed her head, feeling ashamed when she thought about it. All that time she hadn't thought about the baby she'd been thinking about herself and about Ronnie and that was why he was haunting her, because she hadn't given a damn about him...

"You weren't ready for a baby. You should never feel guilty for wanting to live your life, you made a mistake but everyone makes mistakes" Ronnie smiled, trying to ease Danielle's mind. She hated seeing Danielle in so much pain, she hated how similar her daughter was to her.

"What like you made with me...?" Danielle snapped, she immediately cursed herself. She didn't even understand where this anger emerged from half the time, it would just spring up and catch her by surprise. By the look on Ronnie's face it had caught her by surprise as well.

"When I said those things..." Ronnie trailed off, she didn't know what to say when Danielle looked so hurt and angry and she knew it was because of her.

"... You didn't know who I was. I know, you've told me a hundred times, it doesn't change the fact that you said it" Danielle confessed, if she was going to say all these things she might as well get them out in the open now.

"Having you, only for you to die in a strangers arms... That's what I believed, that's what I had been made to believe. My whole life was in tatters because i'd had a baby that I would never get to be with. But being with you, spending even one minute with you makes all the pain worth it" Ronnie explained, she realised she didn't regret what she had said that day because it had been true at the time. She just needed Danielle to understand it as well.

Danielle nodded. Ronnie had been so cold and hard, so unwilling to talk about the way she felt about her baby because she was still grieving for her at the time.

"If only i'd just told you who I was" Danielle whispered, her eyes were welling up with tears. She felt like she'd done everything wrong, made so many mistakes from the moment she stepped into the Square.

"Would you have made a different decision?" Ronnie asked, intrigued at what Danielle's answer would be and why.

"No" Danielle admitted, not just to Ronnie but to herself. She hadn't been ready for a baby. It was a moment of realisation and a moment where maybe she could stop feeling ashamed.

"So stop feeling guilty, stop letting it take over everything. One day you are going to a mum, you're going to be an amazing mum but when the time is right." Ronnie insisted.

Danielle couldn't believe all the time she'd spent avoiding having a deep conversation with Ronnie because she didn't want to expose herself, she was so scared that Ronnie would see something she didn't like that she'd kept her feelings to herself. But tonight had been her breakthrough, firstly talking about the cuts and now talking about the abortion. The problems that had haunted Danielle were being shared and it felt like biggest weight in the world was being lifted from her shoulders. The best part of it was the way Ronnie looked at her, it wasn't shame or embarrassment or fear... It was love, awe and admiration. It was the look of someone who had finally been let in, who was no longer standing on the sidelines.

"Don't think i'll make you a grandma just yet, won't be good when you get back on the dating scene" Danielle laughed, it was suddenly easier to just enjoy herself, there wasn't a million things holding back a laugh.

"Dating? Oh god I don't even want to think about that" Ronnie chuckled, she'd had so many bad experiences with men, she was just happy to be enjoying her daughters company for now.

"Mum you're hot, men are going to come after you! Especially now you've dropped that whole ice queen routine!" Danielle teased nudging Ronnie playfully.

"Who says i've dropped it! I plan on being just as vicious as before with everyone that isn't you" Ronnie laughed, she loved these little moments with her daughter, they had been what she had longed for all these years and finally she could enjoy herself.

"Trust you to be difficult" Danielle smiled, letting out a huge yawn that made Ronnie look over at the clock... 2am! The night had gotten away from them so quickly.

"Come on you, get to bed, we have to go and grab your stuff tomorrow" Ronnie beamed, standing up she grabbed hold of Danielle's hand and pulled her up, pulling her sleepy daughter towards the bedroom.

Watching as Danielle crawled into bed, Ronnie looked at her daughter feeling an intense pride and a love she didn't even think was possible.

"Night baby, love you" Ronnie whispered as she started to close the door.

"Love you too mum" Danielle yawned, her eyes fluttering as she tried to fight sleep.

***

"Do you get the feeling people are looking at us?" Danielle asked with a small smile and a raised eyebrow as they walked through the line of market stalls. Ronnie wrapped her arm round Danielle to let her know that it didn't matter.

"Yeah you'd think they'd be over this by now" Ronnie laughed, she could almost understand it though. It must be strange to see sweet little, previously dead, Danielle walking along with her mother the hard faced old cow who had barely acknowledged anyone who lived round here the entire time she'd lived here.

Walking into the Minute Mart, Patrick flashed Ronnie a smile and a quick wink. Danielle noticed and was slightly bemused by the action but didn't question it. Patrick stood watching, remembering his and Ronnie's conversation from yesterday he smiled as he watched the way the two women interact with such ease.

"What are you ladies up to on this gorgeous day?" Patrick smiled, motioning towards the sun that was beating down on the Square.

"We're getting my stuff from the Slater's" Danielle smiled "I'm moving back home"

"That's great! Roxy came by earlier and mentioned that Rebecca's coming home today as well! Looks like you're all back together" Patrick grinned as he took the money from Ronnie, Danielle turned around and looked at Ronnie, narrowing her eyes and wondering why Ronnie hadn't told her this.

"See you later Patrick" Danielle smiled, keeping up the happy pretense until they got out of the shop.

"I was going to tell you..." Ronnie started "Look you can come and stay in my room if you want some space"

"It's not that! It's the fact that you didn't tell me that's annoyed me." Danielle snapped, she was walking at a fast pace now and Ronnie was desperately trying to keep up.

"They're at it again" Mo smirked to the woman on the stall next to her.

"But everything recently with you feeling... Jealous of Bec... I just didn't want to cause anymore problems!" Ronnie defended, she pulled Danielle back and tried to stop her from walking away from her. She was quite aware of the little scene they were creating, everyone staring and talking about them.

"I want her home ok! I just want to me your number one, I know that sounds selfish but i've waited by entire life for you" Danielle cried, she needed Ronnie to understand.

"You are my number one, no-one even gets close I promise. Come on, lets go get your things" Ronnie smiled taking hold of Danielle's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We're going to be happy Danielle"

**In my last chapter (as Adia Rose so kindly pointed out :P) I really should have given her a BIG mention because she generated the idea, i've been so stuck recently and she's always there to kick me up the bum and tell me to get writing when i'm being lazy. She also regularly entertains me (and disgusts me especially when conversation turns to Shirley's knickers...) so a big thank you to her! I'm sure you're all already reading her story so I don't need to say READ IT! (Oh look I did it anyway lol). Anyway thank you to everyone that reads and reviews, as always I hope i'm still entertaining you all with a decent story, suggestions and comments always welcome. Thank you :D**


	57. Whatever Gets You Through The Night

"_Nan! Have you borrowed my earrings again?!" Stacey yelled down the stairs. "Why would I borrow your earring Stace? I have got taste! Fat Elvis was telling me the other day how i'm the classiest bird he's ever met!" Mo yelled back from the kitchen. "He doesn't get out much obviously!" Stacey laughed, flashing a smile at Danielle who sat on her bed enjoying the bustle of the Slater's house. "Stacey will you come and clean up your clothes from off the sofa?" Charlie moaned. "Oh uncle Charlie can't you do it?! Me and Dan are trying to get ready!" Stacey hollered back. The house finally fell silent and Danielle watched as Stacey moved around getting her make-up on for a big night out, it wasn't quiet for long as Jean came running into the girls room. "Stacey i've lost my keys!" Jean panicked, looking slightly confused. "Have you checked down the side of the sofa?" Stacey asked rolling her eyes. "Ooh good idea Stace" Jean smiled darting off downstairs. "You must hate living here, it's a madhouse" Stacey laughed. "I love it" Danielle smiled, listening to an argument breaking out downstairs between Mo and Jean._

Letting herself and Ronnie into the Slaters, Danielle kicked off her shoes and hung her coat on the banister. Ronnie watched how at ease Danielle was in this house, how much this had been a home to her and how much the Slater's had been a family. Charlie was grabbing his keys and making his way towards the front door where Ronnie still stood awkwardly. Giving Ronnie a warm smile Charlie left the house without saying a word. Charlie wasn't one for interfering, he preferred to sit back and only get involved if he really had to. Danielle stood on the bottom stair and watched Ronnie standing looking a little lost.

"Are you coming?" Danielle smiled, motioning for Ronnie to join her and come up to the room she shared with Stacey.

Ronnie walked up the stairs hesitantly, she didn't understand why she felt like this, in this house. Perhaps it was the undeniable feeling of family, closeness and loving warmth that radiated from every single inch. It was something that Ronnie hadn't experienced, or if she had she was far too young to remember it. It made her think of whether she'd ever be able to have a home, not just a house, not just bricks and furniture but a home that meant something.

Pushing the door, Danielle walked in and looked around. She'd only been gone two nights, yet she was terrified it wouldn't feel the same. Like her room in Telford which felt like she was inhabiting someone else's space, an environment that felt so completely and utterly foreign to her. There was no chance of that happening here though, Stacey's room never changed. There was a clear divide, Stacey's duvet was screwed up in a ball, her pillows hanging off the edge of her bed and clothes scattering the floor. Danielle's bed, however, was neatly made, such a small detail that made Ronnie beam with pride. The room was so silent, so peaceful, yet only a couple of days before Ronnie and Danielle had been here, Danielle hitting Ronnie, screaming at her and Ronnie just taking every hit like she deserved everything that happened to her. It made Ronnie realise how fragile a relationship they shared, highs and lows, she would have to be strong through each and every one because that was being a parent, being able to stand there and take everything your child throws at you and still love them more than anything else in the world.

Danielle reached under her bed and grabbed her bag, it hadn't been that long since she'd been filling it with stuff from Ronnie's to bring here and now she was turning back. This endless cycle couldn't continue though, it wasn't fair on the Slater's and it wasn't fair on Ronnie.

Ronnie watched as her daughter picked up stuff and placed it into her bag, all the belongings that were so familiar but seemed so alien. The bracelet that Ronnie had bought Danielle for her birthday was carefully laid on the side, Ronnie stroked the cool metal remembering the day of happiness she'd shared with her daughter and hoping they could share that warmth and happiness again. Ronnie's eyes were suddenly drawn to an open draw that protruded from a chest of drawers. Stifling a giggle, she instead let out a large snort which made Danielle immediately spin round. Danielle looked first at Ronnie and then down to what she was looking at.

"Please tell me they're not yours!" Ronnie laughed looking down at the racy and slightly obscene underwear in the drawer in front of her.

Danielle rolled her eyes and gave a little laugh. "Stacey will kill you if she finds you poking through her stuff" she warned, she couldn't help but find the look on Ronnie's face amusing though. It always took her by surprised when she saw Ronnie so relaxed and... Normal. Like the first time she'd seen Ronnie slobbing out in pajamas. Danielle had been shocked, Ronnie had always seemed so unbelievably glamorous and special, understanding her mother was simply human had been an odd realisation.

"I thought Roxy had some dodgy stuff but those are something else..." Ronnie joked, closing the drawer. She so desperately wanted to be part of every aspect of Danielle's life, she wanted to share in everything that made her happy because that would be the best way to block out all the things that upset her.

"You know Stace, it's all about the shock factor" Danielle smiled, packing more stuff into her own bag, filling it with all her little bits and pieces. Her heart lurched slightly at the mention of Stacey, she'd had a brief conversation explaining that she was moving back in with Ronnie but Stacey hadn't said much. She prayed Stacey understood, she needed Stacey in her life, her best friend, her lifeline.

"Well I can see what Max saw in her now..." Ronnie chuckled. She moved on picking up a framed photo of Stacey and Danielle together. Locked forever, warm smiles and the most cheerful expressions. Ronnie's thumb stroked absentmindedly at Danielle's face in the photo. She loved her daughters smile, loved the way her eyes lit up and the little creases on her face.

"Thought you were here to help me?" Danielle interrupted, slightly embarrassed by how entranced Ronnie was by a photo of her. Snapping Ronnie back to reality she placed the photo back down and moved over to where Danielle stood.

"I'll carry bags" Ronnie smiled, lifting up on that lay on the floor. "What have you got in here! Weights??" Ronnie laughed, pretending to buckle under the strain of Danielle's things.

***

Roxy and Rebecca stepped out the taxi. Roxy passed the driver some money and grabbed Rebecca's stuff from the boot. There wasn't much just a bag of clothes. She smiled warmly at her sister as they stood looking out on the Square. Roxy looked Rebecca up and down carefully, she was even more painfully thin than before but she didn't look as pale and washed out as she had been before. Rebecca was leaning on a crutch, propping her up and taking the weight off her bad leg. She looked a little lost and Roxy wanted to just wrap her in a hug and tell her that everything would be ok.

"I need to go for a walk" Rebecca rushed, hobbling away leaving Roxy stood looking bemused carrying Rebecca's bags back into the house.

Rebecca walked around, taking in the familiar surroundings and appreciating being back in a place that felt like home. As she walked, her leg aching with the pressure, her eyes were drawn to the little girl sat huddled up on a bench in the centre of the Square, walking over she sat down next to Abi Branning and flashed her a warm smile.

"Hey, what's up?" Rebecca asked, noticing how red Abi's eyes were, she'd clearly been crying. Rebecca had such a caring nature she hated seeing people upset.

"My sister... Lauren... She said really horrible things to me" Abi sniffed, more tears falling from her eyes as she remembered the argument they'd had.

"Big sisters always trying to boss you around hey? You can't get upset by it though Ab's you've just got to ignore her when she's being a cow." Rebecca soothed, wrapping an arm around the girl who was starting to stop crying now.

"But how?" Abi asked, looking up at Rebecca. She was slightly in awe of the older girl who was being so kind.

"Abi! Abi! Will you come here!" Tanya shouted making her way across the Square in their direction, she looked furious and was desperately beckoning Abi to come to her.

"Mum i'm just talking to Bec" Abi explained with a smile, she liked being around Bec getting advice. It made her feel like a grown-up and gradually all the pain and upset of her arguement with Lauren was beginning to slip away.

"No you're not! In the house now Abi" Tanya snapped, the look on her face was so determined and Abi could tell she meant business. Shrugging she got up and ran towards the front door. Tanya didn't follow though, instead she marched up to Rebecca.

"She was just a little upset about a row with Lauren..." Rebecca began to explain, not sure she understood why Tanya was so worked up.

"I don't want people like you around my children" Tanya hissed, her eyes locked on Rebecca's.

"People like me?" Rebecca asked, almost laughing at the way Tanya was looking at her like she was a murderer.

"Druggies!" Tanya snapped, turning around walking away from Rebecca who sat straight back down on the bench, she felt like she'd been winded, unable to believe what had just happened.


	58. Breaking Free

_Ideas to Roxy normally led to problems... See Roxy's brain never saw an entire plan through. Consequence was unheard of and that often led to Roxy ending up in some sticky situations. The amount of times Ronnie had bailed her sister out over the years... Well basically if Ronnie had charged for all those times she'd be set up somewhere very posh where the sun beat down all day long right about now._

"Is it possible you've accumulated even more stuff since you were last here?" Ronnie moaned, finally able to drop Danielle's heavy bags to the floor. Looking around her eyes were immediately drawn to Rebecca's backpack, her little sister was home.

"Bec's back" Danielle smiled, walking off towards the living room. She was desperate to prove to Ronnie... And to herself that she had no problems with Rebecca and that meant trying to be a nice, ordinary family.

Nothing could prepare Danielle for the sight that met her in the living room though... An incredibly frustrated looking Roxy with what appeared to be hand stuck in a jar. She was pulling on it as hard as she possibly could, her face flushing red with frustration as she tried to pull herself free and Danielle couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"You alright there Rox?" Danielle asked, putting her hand over her mouth to try and stop herself from laughing anymore.

"No! I really am not alright!" Roxy huffed, giving up she sat down on the sofa feeling completely defeated, she even looked a little sad.

"Where's Bec?" Ronnie asked, as she walked in the room completely unaware of all the commotion that was going on.

"Gone for a walk" Roxy muttered, more interested in how she was ever going to get this jar from off of her hand. Ronnie looked over and then down to Roxy's hand and joined in with Danielle's giggling. Moving over she sat beside her sister and gave a big tug on the jar. "Ow!" Roxy yelled pulling her arm back.

"How...?" Ronnie trailed off, it truely was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen. Taking hold of her sisters wrist she was now pulling gently trying to ease the jar away.

"I was trying to get the spider out" Roxy sighed, sticking her bottom lip out. Danielle couldn't help but start laughing again. "It's not funny!"

"Did you not think to maybe tip the jar upside down and shake the spider out?" Ronnie teased. Roxy looked at her and growled, it wasn't long before they heard a reassuring 'pop' and finally Roxy was free.

"I feel we've learnt an important lesson today" Danielle joked, her sides were beginning to ache she'd been laughing so much.

"Yeah don't leave Roxy unattended!" Ronnie mocked, pulling Roxy into a huge hug. Danielle ran over and joined them wrapping her arms around her aunt and bringing a smile back to Roxy's face.

The cute moment was interrupted as Rebecca crashed into the room, she looked furious but also incredibly hurt and upset. She threw down her crutch in frustration and went straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. Ronnie sighed before standing up and following her, Danielle looked up and Roxy was sure she could see that look of jealousy flash across her face.

Ronnie walked in the room and saw Rebecca slumped down on the bed, there were tears rolling down her face and she was clutching onto her hair. Ronnie moved over and sat herself down on the bed next to her sister.

"I want mum" Rebecca cried, leaning into Ronnie's shoulder. She looked utterly destroyed and Ronnie just wanted to look after her and make everything better. When this had all started they hadn't been able to get through to Glenda, and then as it got worse they decided not to worry her, Rebecca didn't want her knowing about her problems and Ronnie and Roxy didn't want their mother to think they'd failed their little sister. It had all been neatly covered up but now it was falling apart.

"What's up? I thought you'd be happy to be home?" Ronnie questioned, wiping a tear from her sisters cheek. All the while she was thinking of ways to explain what had happened to Glenda, knowing how furious her mother would be for keeping something like this hidden.

"People don't want me round here!" Rebecca cried, remembering the look on Tanya's face. It wasn't just repulsion it was a genuine fear that Rebecca could corrupt her daughter.

"Honey what has happened? Come on explain to me?" Ronnie coaxed, she wanted to know who had got her little sister so worked up. She looked like a lost little girl, Ronnie thought how strangely familiar that look was becoming recently in this house.

"Tanya... Abi was talking to be and Tanya made her go inside because she didn't want her daughter talking to a druggie" Rebecca sniffed, her body shaking and her mind aching with the pain and embarrassment of what had happened.

"That bloody woman is so stuck up!" Ronnie raged "You don't need to worry about people like that Bec, because you had a problem and you faced it and you've come out of this stronger"

Bec gave a weak smile, Ronnie was so fired up and determined it was hard not to go along with her and believe that everything was going to be ok. It didn't stop her missing Glenda like crazy though.

"I need to tell mum what's been going on... I'll tell her that I made you and Roxy keep it secret, i'll make her understand I promise" Rebecca assured "I think i'm going to try and have a little sleep, i'm exhausted. You should go, go and be with Dan"

Ronnie nodded, appreciating that Rebecca understood that Danielle was so fragile at the moment. She got as far as the door before she turned back, walked back over to the bed and wrapped Bec up in a massive hug. It was just what Bec needed, someone reassuring her and loving her.

"Danielle's my priority, it has to be like that because she needs me and I have so much to make up for with her, I know you understand that. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you, me and Roxy are going to be here for you, whenever you feel scared or feel like you're on the edge of giving in you just need to tell one of us. You're doing so well I don't want to see it slip now just because some over-cautious gossip had a go at you. I'm so incredibly proud of you" Ronnie smiled, stroking Bec's cheek leaving her baby sister to get some sleep.


	59. Sleep With One Eye Open

"_No?! What do you do Jack? What do you do in public?!... You choose her don't you? This whole thing is just one big fat lie isn't it? You and me pretending to be mummies and daddies like...You choose my sister don't you? Over your own daughter don't you? Because thats where your heart is..." Roxy shouted, she had never felt so embarrassed so used and upset by the man standing in front of her. "No" Jack insisted, but he was desperate to get away, desperate to get to Ronnie. "And you ain't even got the bottle to tell me... Do you know what?! You're not doing it, you ain't doing it to her! You are lying and you are not doing it to Amy! You will stay here with your daughter Jack, if you love Amy at all you will stay here with her, and I will go and find my sister! If she wants you after all this... Then she's an idiot because you will certainly never have me!" Roxy yelled, storming off she staggered outside the Vic and looked around trying to work out where Ronnie could be. As angry as she was at her sister she needed to find her. "Stansted Airport! She has gone to Stansted airport Roxy! Because I remember everything!" Phil yelled out the window. Roxy sighed, she was hurt and upset about Ronnie's behaviour at the christening but in the end sisters come through for each other and if it meant that Jack bloody Branning kept his mits off her when she was still so delicate Roxy was happy to start the chase to bring Ronnie home._

Ronnie ran her hand through her hair before making her way back to the living room where Danielle and Roxy were still sat, Roxy looked like she was trying to talk to Danielle but Danielle didn't appear to be listening. Ronnie walked over and sat down next to Danielle, giving her a small smile but Danielle simply stood up and walked away leaving Ronnie sat looking confused whilst Roxy glared at her.

"What have I done now?" Ronnie sighed looking to Roxy for an answer.

"Well I think that sprint to Bec's side might have something to do with it" Roxy noted, rolling her eyes. Why couldn't Ronnie just see that she needed to concentrate on Danielle and only Danielle at the moment?

"Oh Roxy come on! I can't do anything right can I?" Ronnie huffed, cursing herself for making yet another mistake but at the same time defending her decision, this was all so confusing so hard because Danielle seemed not to want her but she didn't want anyone else to have her either.

"Oh come on Ron, you have no problem being completely free and open with me, Bec and even Amy but when it comes to your own daughter you keep yourself guarded! Ronnie you can tell her you love her a million times but she won't believe it when you spend the whole time trying to help everyone else" Roxy snapped, she was getting bored of always being the one with the answers it was about time Ronnie picked up the pieces of her own messes.

"This isn't my fault Rox, she keeps pushing me away!" Ronnie said shaking her head, she hated being always being the enemy and couldn't believe that Roxy was shouting at her. Were these problems never ending? Half an hour before she was stood laughing and joking with her daughter and just like that the atmosphere would change and Danielle would cut her dead once again.

"Her pushing you away? Ronnie you're doing exactly the same thing! I know you love her more than anything else in the world so why the hell aren't you showing her that!" Roxy shouted, she was desperately trying to get through to Ronnie, desperate to make her sister see what she was doing wrong.

"Shut up Roxy!" Ronnie snapped, she was getting angry now, frustrated as Roxy kept pushing her for answers.

"Come on Ronnie! Why?! Why? When you've waited all this time to finally be with her why choose now to distance yourself?" Roxy snapped, she wanted to put the pressure on, wanted Ronnie to snap.

"Because i'm scared!" Ronnie cried, her shoulders shaking as she finally broke down. Roxy watched for a minute before moving over and grabbing hold of Ronnie's hand, clutching onto it, Roxy looked into Ronnie's eyes.

"Scared?" Roxy asked her tone had changed, now she was caring as she saw just how upset Ronnie was. What was there to be scared of? Ronnie's situation was so difficult for Roxy to understand, she wanted to know why and she knew Ronnie needed to open up.

"Do you remember what it was like when I thought she was dead..." Ronnie began, tears rolling steadily down her cheeks as she recalled her pain. Remembered the agony of believing that she had lost Danielle.

"Which time?" Roxy smiled, trying to wipe away Ronnie's tears and make the situation less painful.

"When I felt her go Rox. I felt her slip away and I thought that was it. I thought that was all I would ever get and it destroyed me." Ronnie trailed off, lost in thoughts of that day.

"_Come on Ronnie sit down, yeah?" Roxy soothed, she had finally gotten Ronnie back to the Vic, there had been police and an ambulance had taken away the body. Now sat in the kitchen her screaming wreck of a sister had been replaced by a lifeless shell who simply stared ahead blankly. Roxy watched Ronnie carefully, looking her up and down and taking in the way her hands shook, it was the only sign of life- this constant, aching shake. Roxy's eyes fixed upon the blood stains on Ronnie's bridesmaid dress, they made her feel sick and she couldn't imagine how Ronnie was feeling. Shock... It was like a bad nightmare, the kind of nightmare that makes you want to scream because it physically hurts, ripping at your insides and torturing your mind. Roxy stroked Ronnie's hand, trying to stop the shaking but if anything it made it worse. Peggy was stood in the doorway, watching the scene in front of her but she couldn't go into that kitchen, she couldn't be the one to comfort her niece when she was in so much pain herself. Nothing felt real yet. "Come on Peg" Sal put a hand on Peggy's shoulder and led her away from the scene in the kitchen. "Ronnie?" Roxy whispered, it sounded like she was going to ask a question but she had no idea what that question was, she just wanted to talk, to break the horrific silence. "Danielle... Danielle was my daughter" Ronnie muttered, looking deep into Roxy's eyes, Roxy was struggling to hold herself together as she watched her sister disintegrate before her very eyes. The image of her sister clutching onto her child's lifeless body burned into her mind._

"You got her back though Ron, you thought she was dead but she wasn't! Come on Ronnie, it hurt but everything is better now" Roxy insisted, however bad the pain of believing she'd lost Danielle was surely the relief of it all turning out to be a lie was enough to counteract that?

"The christening Rox..." Ronnie began, remembering the pain of that night brought her the point where that pain started hurting a little too much, where everything got too hard to take.

"Ronnie I thought we put all that behind us?" Roxy asked confused, was Ronnie apologising for trashing the christening? Did she want her to say sorry for the kiss with Jack?

"I never told you what happened when I left the christening" Ronnie shook her head, remembering the pain and remembering what she had thought about doing.

"The pills..." Roxy began, remembering the little blue and white pills that had littered her bedroom floor. At the time Roxy hadn't brought it up, hadn't thought much of them but now looking at Ronnie she felt scared. "You wouldn't have..."

"I wanted to Roxy, I really wanted to end it all. If Phil hadn't come in..." Ronnie sighed, rubbing her face remembering how Phil had come in and jolted her back to reality.

_Ronnie sat in the pub throwing glasses, releasing her all her pain glass by glass. She had it all planned out. She wasn't thinking about Roxy or Jack she was thinking about Danielle though she knew the pair of them were so self-centered they'd think it was all about them and that kiss. No... That was just the final straw, that was the point where she decided she didn't even have Roxy and without Roxy she had no-one and that led her to her decision. The pain of losing Danielle would only go away if she was to join her in death. Pills and alcohol were the way to Ronnie decided. She'd always used alcohol to block out her pain, now it would help her end it once and for all..._

"Ronnie you wouldn't have! Ok? Listen to me? You wouldn't have done it!" Roxy insisted, shaking with fear, hearing that her sister had thought about suicide. "You've got Danielle back now ok? She's not dead, she's all yours!"

"If I give myself completely and I lose her again then I will not survive. I know that." Ronnie insisted, her eyes were blank as she considered that possibility, her heart was aching. It was a progression, Ronnie decided, because when she thought her baby had died the first time it hurt like crazy but it didn't destroy her because she didn't know her. The second time came close to ending everything because that was about knowing her but not really knowing her and losing her before she ever got the chance. Now she was entirely emotionally invested there was only one way for Ronnie to go if anything ever happened to Danielle.

"She's not going anywhere Ronnie" Roxy sighed, rubbing Ronnie's hand. Roxy wanted Ronnie to stop being scared, to stop believing at that someone was just waiting to take Danielle away. That she was never destined to be happy, Ronnie was convinced she would forever be the tragic heroine of her story and she needed to see that sometimes happy endings were possible.

"Really? Because from what i've seen of her lately i'm scared that she's going to give up... You're always saying how similar me and Danielle are, well maybe its a genetic weakness we share, wanting to end it all when things get to hard." Ronnie was rambling now, her fear and concerns were spilling out and Roxy was shocked at just how dark Ronnie's thoughts were.

"What are you talking about Ronnie? Danielle's irritated because she can sense that you're keeping your distance, but thats all Ron" Roxy insisted, why was Ronnie having such horrible thoughts? This certainly explained a lot but also created new questions and Roxy was starting to feel lost.

"Roxy she's been hurting herself." Ronnie admitted, her eyes widened as she heard those words spoken out loud for the first time. "She's promised it was a one-off but I don't believe her Rox, and... I'm angry Roxy, i'm really angry and I want to scream at her and tell her to stop because she's hurting me as well as herself. She doesn't understand just how hard things were for me, she grew up with loving parents and but I had no-one. I was the one that mourned for her and I want to grab her and tell her to stop it and just let us put the past behind us but I can't because i'm so busy trying to protect her and so scared that if I hurt again she'll run away and leave me or worse... So yes, this front i'm putting on for her is fake but thats because if I was true to myself i'd probably hurt her more."

**Ok just want to explain, the flashback from the beginning is partly taken from the christening but Roxy goes after Ronnie instead of Jack meaning that Ronnie and Jack never got back together. Soon after this point is where my fiction began... Confused? Yeah me too lol but if you remember (a whole 58 chapters ago!) Roxy was moving Ronnie back into her flat, in my timeline this comes directly after the events at the christening. As always a big thank you for all the reviews, they're a great help and a big support. Keep giving feedback, I react to what people do and don't like :D**


	60. I Won't Walk Away

"_I'd die for her, i'd jump out infront of a bus for her i'm pretty sure." Roxy mused, staring down at her baby daughter whilst Ronnie simply shifted uncomfortably. "Any pain in the world, I reckon I could take it for her, oh god Ron i've just never felt like this! I love her so much I don't even want to go put her down in the next room because it would mean not holding her in my arms" Roxy cooed completely unaware of the way Ronnie was flinching at the sound of each and every word. "I mean it was terrible when she was in that box thing, it was like being apart from her and I just couldn't be apart from her y'know Ron?" Roxy sighed, stroking Amy's tiny face she looked up only when she got no response from Ronnie. "Ron?" She asked again before it finally sunk in why Ronnie was white as a sheet and looked like she would cry at any minute. "Oh Ronnie! Oh I am so sorry! Oh Ronnie I didn't mean it like that!" Roxy started panicking, feeling sick as she realised what she had been saying to Ronnie. "Don't apologise Rox... You're just being a good mum" Ronnie muttered, standing up she walked off leaving Roxy holding on tightly to Amy cursing herself for saying such stupid things to the one person she couldn't say them to._

Ronnie knew she needed to go and talk to Danielle, talk to her and tell her exactly what she was feeling. Danielle had bared her soul to Ronnie, let her in on every little detail and now it was time to do the same. Ronnie didn't even bother to knock on the bedroom door, she just opened it and looked in hoping to see her daughters face. There was Rebecca still sleeping but Danielle's bed was untouched, figuring she mustn't have wanted to wake Bec up Ronnie thought perhaps Danielle would be in her room instead. Ronnie climbed the stairs, hovering outside her own room she pushed open the door only to find yet another empty room...

Danielle sat crouched in the corner of the bathroom, the door was locked and she was shaking with apprehension. It was eerily silent, it made the sound of her heartbeat even louder, it seemed to echo around the bathroom. There were a million thoughts racing through her head but the one that spoke loudest was the one giving her the sickening desire to run a blade across her pale skin. Her head was willing her not to give in to this desire but she so desperately needed that release...

Ronnie walked around, she'd checked in Roxy's room and had been back downstairs. She called Danielle's mobile but it went straight to message bank. She tried Stacey but Danielle wasn't there either. Stacey had questioned her, worried that Ronnie would be calling and checking on Danielle's whereabouts, clearly they'd had an arguement or something and Stacey had to use every ounce of self-control she possessed to not bite Ronnie's head off, instead simply requesting that when she knew where Danielle was she would phone Stacey just so that she didn't worry.

"Ronnie will you hurry up I want to wash my hair!" Roxy was banging on the bathroom door, the sound made Danielle flinch but she kept quiet desperately hoping Roxy would leave her alone. There was a whole new element to the situation now- time. Danielle didn't have long now to make a decision...

Ronnie heard the commotion from the kitchen and placing her mobile down ran back upstairs, she could see Roxy stood outside the bathroom looking incredibly annoyed, towels in her hand she was desperate to get into the bathroom. Ronnie ran over and tapped Roxy on the shoulder, making Roxy jump and turn around.

"Rox i'm not in the bathroom" Ronnie smiled, the smile didn't stay on her face long as a sickening sensation filled her stomach, her eyes met Roxy's and they shared a look of concern as the worked out who was behind the locked door... Silent and still. "Danielle? Danielle!"

Ronnie was the one banging on the door now, her fists slamming into the wood, her actions were frenzied and desperate. Roxy stood back, her eyes wide as she saw the panic in Ronnie's face. Remembering their conversation Roxy knew exactly why Ronnie was freaking out so much.

"Danielle! Please just tell me you're ok! Danielle please!" Ronnie shouted, but her shouts just met a wall of silence as Danielle tried to block out the sound of her mothers voice.

Danielle was holding onto the blade, the light was bouncing off it and created the most mesmerizing shine. The smallest thing that held the biggest power, Danielle gripped it between her thumb and forefinger feeling the pressure but not letting it penetrate her skin.

"Ronnie that isn't going to help ok? Just calm down" Roxy begged, trying to pull Ronnie away from the door which looked as if it would come flying off its hinges at any moment. All the shouting and banging had woken both Rebecca and Amy, the latter of which was now screaming their head off.

"What the hell's going on?" Rebecca asked trying to figure out the scene in front of her, noticing how worried both Ronnie and Roxy looked.

"Will you go and calm Amy down please" Roxy begged Rebecca, Rebecca moved slightly as if to say _are you sure?_ Being trusted with Amy again was a big step but considering the situation Roxy just wanted her daughter to be held and loved whilst she was desperately trying to look after her frantic looking sister.

Danielle moved slightly and then made her decision, she knew exactly what she was going to and prepared herself for her next move...

"Rox stand over there would you" Ronnie sighed, she sounded almost calm which if anything worried Roxy move. Despite her doubts she did exactly what Ronnie asked and moved away from the bathroom door.

"Why am I standing over here Ron?" Roxy asked rubbing her head and trying to work out exactly what was going on in Ronnie's head.

"Don't want you getting hit with any flying wood" Ronnie breathed, her voice completely steady as she backed up slightly before sending her body flying into the door, the door finally giving into the pressure and with the loudest crack came crashing down. Recoiling slightly in pain, Ronnie took a second to readjust before her eyes found Danielle, still sat huddled on the floor. Her eyes searched her daughters body looking for signs of injury but there was none, just a clean blade laid in-front of her.

"Bloody hell Ron!" Roxy exclaimed, astonished by the sight of the bathroom door laying on the floor. She looked up at Ronnie's face searching for some idea of what sight she had been greeted by in the bathroom. Roxy came to the conclusion that it wasn't too bad, Ronnie looked almost relieved and so Roxy took her cue to leave, heading off to find Rebecca and Amy.

Ronnie crouched down before Danielle, her hand lifting up Danielle's chin. Her eyes gazing into Danielle's.

"You didn't..." Ronnie breathed, it was more of a statement than a question. A statement that was loaded with relief but also with fear that she had come anywhere near close enough.

"I wanted to" Danielle admitted, pulling away from Ronnie's grasp and focusing her eyes on an insignificant corner of the bathroom rather than on Ronnie. She pulled her arms in and hugged her knees close to her chest, desperately trying to make herself as small as possible. Trying to hide from everything that had just happened, hide from the glare of attention she knew would be focused on her right this minute.

***

Rebecca held on tight to Amy, slightly swaying with her trying to relax her niece seeing how aggravated she had become by all the shouting that had been going on in the house. Surprisingly for a Mitchell, Amy was unused to shouting and screaming and the sudden urgency had freaked her out big time. As Rebecca felt Amy's tiny fingers grip onto her hand she was struck yet again with the guilt of what she had done to her beautiful baby niece and swore to herself that she would never make a mistake like that again.

Roxy walked into the living room and smiled at the sight of her sister and her daughter, it was a far more relaxed atmosphere down here than upstairs. Rebecca had shut the door and had put on a children's show featuring lots of bright colours and soft music on the television to try and relax Amy and it seemed to be working.

"She alright?" Roxy asked, stroking her daughters face loving how Amy's eyes lit up the minute they were focused on her mother.

"Yeah I think so... How about those two?" Rebecca asked nervously, hearing no voices, no shouting or arguing was slightly unsettling.

"Well we need a new bathroom door" Roxy sighed, just wanting to stop all the drama. The fact that things were distressing Amy was a worry to Roxy. She wanted to protect her daughter from growing up in such a unstable environment. "I really need to get out of her, come to the Vic with me?"

Rebecca nodded, passing Amy back to Roxy before going to get changed. She figured Ronnie and Danielle would need some time to themselves and she also recognised that look of stress on Roxy's face that could only be erased with a couple of drinks and Auntie Peggy's wise words.

***

"This just can't happen" Ronnie insisted, she was trying desperately to get through to Danielle. She was completely shaken by what could have happened, seeing the marks on Danielle's arms was one thing but seeing her sat with a blade right infront of her was the most terrifying sight Ronnie thought she'd ever seen.

"Why do you care?" Danielle grunted, shaking her head her hair fell down covering her eyes and obscuring her vision just long enough for Ronnie to reach out and grab the blade, now was time for drastic action she decided,

"Care?! Come on Dan how do you like it?" Ronnie taunted, she knew she sounded harsh but she needed to get through to Danielle. She held the razor blade against her own skin threatening to cut herself.

"Stop it!" Danielle screeched, trying to knock the blade from Ronnie's arms her heart was racing but Ronnie wasn't letting her get anywhere near.

"Is this what I need to do to show you how much it hurts to watch you so intent on destroying yourself?" Ronnie asked, her voice was raised and slightly intimidating. Danielle backed away in fear, she hadn't seen Ronnie like this before. Ronnie was no longer trying to protect Danielle, now she was just desperate to expose her to everything in the hope that it would give Danielle the shock she needed.

"Please stop it! Don't!" Danielle cried, gripping onto Ronnie's hand she pulled her away and watched as Ronnie let the blade drop to the bathroom floor.

"I will not lose you again Danielle, you want to end it all, destroy yourself then walk away now because I can't stand by and just watch this happen. I love you so much Danielle" Ronnie insisted, she decided to try again at reaching out for Danielle and this time Danielle was happy to respond clutching desperately onto Ronnie.

**Oh I know that was another dark chapter but I had to write it to get to a point where I can now move on. I'm thinking some nice happy chapters soon!! :D Again I have to thank Adia Rose who comes up with some great ideas when i'm feeling completely stuck or just being plain lazy as is often the case. Hopefully this is still a good read. I'm grateful to everyone though, all my regular reviewers are absolutely amazing and I couldn't ask for a better group of readers who are constantly giving me feedback, keep it coming, remember to feel free to tell me what you're liking and not liking. Anyway big thanks to everyone that's still reading :D**


	61. You Found Me

"_You girls need feeding up!" Hassan laughed placing down a plate of cake infront of them alongside their teas. Rebecca smiled gratefully and took a large bite from one of the pieces to show Hassan it was much appreciated. "Oh cheer up vampire girl" Rebecca laughed noting how spaced out her friend 'Amy' looked. "Huh?" Amy muttered slightly confused at her thoughts being interrupted. "Vampire... As in you don't come out when it's light outside!" Rebecca giggled, her laughing causing Amy to break from her trance to join in. "Just prefer the nightlife is all" Amy smiled, she was subconsciously doodling on a napkin, not even realising that she was tracing out the same initials over and over again 'D.J' when she realised she screwed up the napkin wondering how she could be so stupid as to scream out her true identity there and then she tried to tune back into Rebecca's conversation, grateful for a friendship just like the one she'd had with Stacey... She had to start forgetting about her past... Concentrate on the future. _

It was late when Roxy and Bec returned and they were relieved to find the house completely silent, they hadn't been able to enjoy themselves at the pub because they'd been worrying about Ronnie and Danielle and it had been difficult hiding that worry from a very perceptive Peggy. Despite the late hour Amy was awake having spent most of the evening sleeping upstairs under Ben's watch, Roxy sighed dreading an evening of an irritable and awake baby.

"I would offer for you to come and sleep in my room but I doubt you'll get any with madam here" Roxy whispered, noticing how Bec hesitated outside her and Danielle's room.

"No it's fine" Rebecca smiled kissing her niece and sister goodnight before creeping into her bedroom. She could see Danielle sleeping and tried to be as quiet as possible as she slipped into a t-shirt and shorts to sleep in and crawled into bed. Finally relaxing she let her eyes close and started to let the intense feeling of tiredness take over, though after about two minutes the silence was broken...

"Bec?" Danielle whispered, unsure if Rebecca had already fallen asleep or not. She pulled herself up slightly and looked over at the other bed to see Bec's eyes flicker open.

"You ok?" Rebecca asked giving a small smile to Danielle, not sure what to say and worrying that anything she did say would just make everything worse.

"They made you talk to someone... In rehab right? You had to talk to a councillor?" Danielle asked nervously. Ronnie's request that her daughter talk to someone had become a demand after tonight's events and she had even gone as far as making the appointment there and then. Danielle had held the piece of paper that Ronnie had written the details in her hand and panic had set in.

"Yeah they did... It wasn't a bad thing though. In fact it helped a lot" Rebecca replied, sensing Danielle's fear she knew this was her opportunity to make things better with Danielle, helping her when she needed it the most.

"It was my fault you ended up in there..." Danielle sighed, pulling her duvet up her chin she couldn't even look at Rebecca without feeling guilty.

"What? How was any of that stuff your fault?" Rebecca asked slightly astonished by how concerned Danielle looked, how guilty and how sad.

"The drugs were an answer to problems I caused. The night you got attacked outside the club, I should have been with you, I should have never let you go out there on your own but because I was freaking out about that photographer I wasn't there to protect you. Then everything with Archie, he was able to hurt you because I let him into our lives." Danielle confessed, her stomach in knots at the thoughts of what had happened to Rebecca because of her actions.

"Dan come on! That guy would have tried it on regardless of whether you were there or not" Rebecca insisted, feeling sick at the memory of those piercing blue eyes. "As for Archie, he manipulated you and I got in the way. Whatever happened to me doesn't give me an excuse for using drugs as an answer." Rebecca insisted, she couldn't believe that Danielle had been sitting on all this guilt. "My mistakes are my own."

Danielle nodded but was clearly deep in thought, she rubbed her eyes obviously tired but she obviously didn't want the conversation to end just yet. She looked at how much calmer and together Rebecca looked and wondered if she'd feel like that after talking to someone. She knew their problems were very different but in the end it all boiled down to fear and addiction.

"They won't make you talk about anything you don't want to you know" Rebecca assured, she wanted Danielle to get help because she was desperate to reclaim the friend she'd made that night in the cafe. Sometimes it made Rebecca think about whether she really did the right thing bringing those two back together, she couldn't deny they loved each other but the complications and pain were something else all together.

"Yeah... I guess it's just the thought of saying some of those things out loud" Danielle admitted, it had been hard enough talking about everything to do with the abortion and the self-harming with Ronnie she couldn't imagine a stranger ever being able to understand.

The room fell silent again, both girls were looking up at the ceiling rather than each other.

"Dan... Do you have a problem with me?" Rebecca asked nervously, she hadn't been blind to the obvious tension that had existed between Ronnie and Danielle and she knew that she'd been the cause of some of that. She just didn't understand how to stop it without cutting herself off from her family completely.

"No of course I don't" Danielle rushed, her cheeks blushed red knowing exactly why Bec was asking, she'd had a hard time hiding her jealousy recently.

"Come on Dan you don't have to lie to me. I just don't get it, i'm not trying to make Ronnie my surrogate mother or anything she's my sister just like Roxy is." Rebecca insisted, she needed Danielle to understand so that she could try and make things normal again.

"Sometimes I just get jealous of how easy it is for you and Ronnie" Danielle admitted with a nervous smile.

"Your relationship is so important, you just want it to be perfect, you want to be like any other mother and daughter and maybe thats a bit too much pressure considering you've been apart for twenty years, relax and enjoy it. It's not always easy, i'm more of a friend to Ronnie and Roxy than a sister, i'll never have that bond with them that they share with each other just like me and Roxy will never have anything with Ronnie that even comes close to what you guys have. But you, you've got so much to look forward to with Ronnie and no-one will ever get in the way of that." Rebecca explained, getting up from her own bed she made her way over to Danielle's and sitting beside her she pulled her into a tight hug.

Danielle let the words settle and she knew deep down it was true, there was no-one that would ever keep her and Ronnie apart ever again. Remembering the look in Ronnie's eyes as she held that blade to her own arm Danielle was filled with an overwhelming sense of fear, guilt but also an intense love and devotion. An undeniable connection that would cause them to anything for each other, understanding Ronnie's pain and what she had gone through thinking she'd lost her daughter twice had been heartbreaking and soul destroying and Danielle was determined to never get lost ever again.

**It seems like forever since I updated (though it's only a couple of days lol) anyway i've been a bit distracted and I meant to write this yesterday but I had a friend over and couldn't get to my computer. Hope this is ok, really grateful for the feedback I got for the last chapter. I really wanted to reconnect Bec and Danielle so gave them a bit of a bonding session because I miss the way they used to be like in the flashback when Danielle was still the mysterious 'Amy' also another appearance from Hassan, can't forget him lol! Anyway i'm rambling slightly so i'll stop, big thank you to everyone :D**


	62. Love and Pain

"_That films rubbish" Rebecca laughed as her mother held up a dvd, suggesting they watch the film together. Rummaging through the pile Rebecca pulled out a choice of her own. "That's so girly Bec, do we really need to fit the stereotypes of single women with chick flicks and chocolate on a saturday night in our pajamas" Glenda sighed hoping they could go for something a little more gory! "Mother seriously you'll only end up getting confused with the plot" Rebecca teased, giving Glenda a playful push. "Oh thanks darling!" Glenda laughed. "You and me are a pretty good team aren't we?" Rebecca smiled, cuddling up close to her mum. "Unbreakable darling, always have been, always will be" Glenda smiled._

The next morning brought a eery sense of calm... Too calm almost. Gathered in front of breakfast television Roxy fed Amy and Rebecca sat in the armchair painting her toenails whilst Ronnie and Danielle sat cuddled up on the sofa Danielle's head resting on Ronnie's shoulder as Ronnie stroked her hair. Roxy looked over at the tv and pulled a face, a distinct look of disgust.

"What is she wearing?!" Roxy asked pointing to the cheesy grinned presenter who was at that moment feigning a look of immense surprise as a reporter informed her of yet another celebrities indiscretions.

"Oh yes Roxy you're in a superb position to judge other peoples fashion sense" Ronnie quipped, raising a eyebrow before smiling at Danielle. Despite the intensity of the night before, now sat with Danielle she felt surprisingly calm almost as if they'd overcome yet another hurdle.

"Fashion magazines would drool over me! I am an icon!" Roxy gasped, a look of mock offense on her face as she narrowed her eyes at her sister and giggling niece. Tugging on her too tight top which was a ghastly shade of orange and had what Ronnie assumed was baby food on the bottom.

"Come on Rox, the only person drooling over you is Amy" Rebecca pointed out, flashing a huge grin as Ronnie and Danielle erupted into giggles.

The moment was quickly interrupted by a loud banging on the front door, everyone looked up in surprise but no-one moved, it was ridiculous that their first thought was _Archie, _the look of fear quickly spread but each rationalized and dismissed it as quickly as the thought had entered. Roxy was the first to move, she handed Amy over to Ronnie and made her way to the front door. Creeping along the hallway she racked her brains to think exactly who would be at their door at this ridiculous hour. Finally reaching the front door she took a deep breath and placed her hands on the handle. Slowly she opened it, peeking round the door frame she looked slightly scared when she saw the look on the persons face.

"Where is she?" Glenda growled, pulling her suitcase up the stairs and pushing past Roxy. Roxy stumbled back unable to talk as she watched Glenda storm through to the living room. "REBECCA!"

Bec paused her toenail painting and looked slightly concerned, she looked to Ronnie and Danielle who simply gave a sympathetic smile. Screwing the lid back on the nail polish Bec tried to prepare herself for her mothers wrath.

"Bedroom now!" Glenda snapped, ushering her daughter away from the room, Bec slowly got up careful not to smudge her drying nail polish. Danielle mouthed 'good luck' to her but that didn't stop Bec feeling nervous. Finally reaching the bedroom she watched for a minute as Glenda paced up and down, pausing only to take a brief look at her daughter before turning away.

"Mum come on, you were fine on the phone what's all this about?" Rebecca asked, starting the conversation she felt very brave but she wasn't sure she could stand an entire day of Glenda just pacing, her mother was already looking out of breath it was probably best if she stopped.

"Fine?! I was shocked! My daughter had just told me she'd emerged from weeks in a rehab centre after falling through a table whilst off her face on drugs! You know what Rebecca I can't say I was quite able to process all that on the phone!" Glenda shouted, finally pausing her pacing as she got right up in Rebecca's face. She couldn't help but be angry and disappointed in her youngest, it didn't make sense to her.

"Mum i'm fine ok! I made a mistake! You've made plenty..." Rebecca muttered, she knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say. Glenda looked even more furious than before but Rebecca couldn't bear her mother pretending she was perfect.

"Do not try and excuse your actions young lady! I told you that bloody obsessive nature of yours was going to get you into trouble! And how dare your sisters not tell me what was going on, I have a right not know i'm your mother!" Glenda raged, ranting on and on she had so much fury to release and sadly for Bec it was all coming her way. She remembered how she'd felt when she'd put the phone down after her conversation with Rebecca, how shocked and upset she'd felt but more overwhelming was the feeling that she wasn't needed and wasn't able to be involved. Rebecca was her daughter, she should have come to her if she had a problem but she hadn't and that had hurt.

"Well you haven't exactly been acting like it!" Rebecca snapped "Ronnie and Roxy just did what I asked them to do because I didn't want you there!" It was awful to be this mean to her mother but she could help it, Glenda was frustrated which made her angry and Rebecca never responded well to someone getting at her.

"Look at you, look at your face! Those cuts! Your a mess!" Glenda observed, Rebecca self consciously touching at one of the cuts that still ran along her face, she could feel it raised and obvious and she was embarrassed by it, it was a reminder of what she had done and she could see Glenda looking at it with disgust.

"Get lost" Rebecca spat and with that she stormed out the house, she needed to calm down to get away from her mother but it wasn't long before her leg was aching again and she needed to sit down on a bench. Her breathing was heavy as she thought over the arguement she'd just had and she shook her head trying to force away all the bad feeling and anger.

"Rebecca are you ok?" A concerned looking Tanya asked, nervously taking a seat next to the angry looking teenager. She half expected Rebecca to turn around and bite her head off, she certainly deserved it after what she'd said to her the other day.

"Why do you care? We junkies have problems y'know" Rebecca answered with more than a hint of contempt in her voice, she hated the way that Tanya was looking at her now, feeling sorry for her, she'd rather the anger from the other day at least that gave Bec an ounce of power. But pity... Pity was the lowest it could get.

"I want to say sorry for what I said to you the other day, it was completely out of line" Tanya admitted, she brushed her skirt with her hands not wanting to look up at Rebecca.

"It's ok I probably would have said the same thing in your position" Rebecca nodded, finally calming down. As much as she hated the reaction she'd gotten from Tanya, it was justifiable, it was what a good mother would do... Protect their child.

"No you don't understand, i have no right to judge because my sister... my sister was a lot worse than you and I think it just reminded me of how painful that was and how much it scared me. I shouldn't have taken that out on you." Tanya smiled, remembering how many times Rainie had let her down. Always promising that she'd get better and always promising that she'd stop. When she'd released all that anger at Rebecca it hadn't been her she was angry at it was Rainie and that was unfair to Bec.

"I've let my sisters down just like your sister let you down." Rebecca sighed, seeing how upset Tanya seemed talking about her sister it struck Bec how she'd let her own sisters down which made the now familiar feeling of guilt rise up inside her again.

"Your situation was completely different. I really was wrong to say what I said to you, especially when you were helping Abi. She told me how nice you were to her and I shouldn't have stopped you from talking to her." Tanya smiled, Abi had been furious at her for not letting her talk to Rebecca. Sometimes it's kids that are the most perceptive about good and bad people, Abi thought Rebecca was good and Tanya was inclined to agree with her when she shook away all the resentment that she attached to her because of her sister,

"I nearly hurt Amy, I get people being a bit weird with me around their kids. I don't think i'm too high up on the babysitter list" Rebecca laughed, she was trying to dismiss it as a joke but deep down it was hurting.

"You just need to earn back their trust" Tanya smiled rubbing her arm before bidding her farewell. Rebecca sat down and smiled to herself, that conversation with Tanya had lifted a massive weight from her shoulders and suddenly things were starting to seem clearer.

"She wasn't giving you anymore trouble was she?" Roxy asked, sitting down on the bench next to her. All the shouting from earlier had been expected but still shocking and she knew it would have hurt her sister so the last thing she needed was Tanya Branning giving her a lecture.

"Nope, all is well she apologised actually, we had a good talk." Rebecca admitted, smiling at the memory of it.

"Wow who would have thought she would actually back down and admit she's wrong" Roxy laughed giving Rebecca a playful punch to the shoulder "You should go and talk to mum you know."

"I made a mistake phoning her and letting her know what was going on, it's my fault she's angry with me and it's my fault she's angry with you and Ronnie." Rebecca moaned, sensing that Roxy and Ronnie had already gotten an earful from Glenda.

"No it's our fault, we should have told her what was happening with you and we hid it from her. If it was Amy i'd have wanted to know as well" Roxy admitted, she could see exactly where Glenda was coming from... Maturity was a scary thing and it just kept creeping up on her.

"Look at you getting all mumsy" Rebecca teased pushing Roxy.

"Shut up you" Roxy laughed pushing her back before wrapping and arm around her and leading her back towards the house. _Looks like i'm fixing things again! _Roxy smiled.

"How could you not tell me Ronnie?" Glenda was ranting again, holding her head in her hands she just couldn't get over the fact that her little girl had been using drugs. Danielle stood rocking Amy smiling sympathetically but keeping her distance from it all.

"She's an adult mum it was for her to tell you" Ronnie defended, she knew there wasn't a right answer here and she knew how she'd feel it it was her in her mothers position but she also had a loyalty to her sister.

"How could this happen? I've let her down Ronnie, I promised I would never let her down after what I did to you and Roxy but she was suffering and I didn't help her.

Ronnie sat with her mother, side by side the two mothers lost in the guilt of letting down their child. Ronnie clutched onto Glenda's hand, knowing how she felt and knowing that she needed to support her. When Rebecca and Roxy finally came through the door Glenda was quick to embrace her youngest daughter and let her know that everything was ok whilst Danielle made her way over to Ronnie and placed her hand in her mothers, giving it a reassuring squeeze.


	63. A Million Miles Away

"Darling why isn't the bathroom door attached to it's hinges?" Glenda asked, surveying the wooden door that was simply propped up leaning against the wall.

"This house has its fair share of dramas..." Roxy sighed, directing her mother away from the gaping void and pushing her in the direction of Ronnie's bedroom where she would be sleeping. It meant that Ronnie would have to bunk in with Roxy but Ronnie didn't mind, in fact she was almost glad she didn't have to sleep alone at the moment.

"Obviously." Glenda raised an eyebrow, she knew there was more going on than Rebecca's problems, she was starting to appreciate that now was the perfect time to make a reappearance.

"Mum don't start" Roxy sighed, pulling Glenda's bag into the room. Glenda followed surveying Ronnie's private sanctuary, mostly it was a blank canvas, impersonal and slightly... Cold. Then on the bedside table Glenda finally saw signs that her daughter was human, the picture of Danielle and Ronnie cuddled together, at what look liked a party. She assumed it was Danielle's birthday and her heart warmed at the expression of pure joy on her daughter's face and the warm smile that was spread across her granddaughters eerily similar features. Moving the photo frame slightly Glenda was incredibly shocked by what she found resting behind it.

Roxy looked over and gave her mum a puzzled look as she saw what Glenda had spotted, she moved over and took it in her own hand.

"Where did you find it?" Roxy asked, narrowing her eyes at her mother. It couldn't have just been sat there, there was no way that Ronnie would have kept this, it should have been in the bin or chucked away in the back of a cupboard.

"It was on the table... Do you still have yours?" Glenda asked, taking it back and carefully examining it to make sure it was exactly what she thought it was. The inscription on the inside confirmed it was.

"God no... Lost it years ago. He nearly killed me when he found out" Roxy smiled at the thought.

"_Sit down you two" Archie smiled pulling his two little girls in close to him. His little blonde angels. "You've got another present to open" Archie smiled, taking in the look of wonderment on the girls faces and relishing the moment. "But Father Christmas already brought our presents" Ronnie questioned, looking down at the pile of wrapping paper that was still sitting on the floor of the living room. A pile of presents that was reflected in the shining red of the baubles that adorned the proud christmas tree. "This present is from me" Archie smiled handing over the two identically wrapped boxes to his two eager daughters. "Now it's too big for you now, so you need to look after it until it fits your finger." Archie explained watching as the girls lifted out identical rings and studied them with matching looks of amazement and excitement. Glenda had frowned upon giving them to the girls "they're far too young Arch" she'd insisted but Archie was determined and the fact that Glenda had told him not to only pushed him to do it._

"I want to go and see him whilst i'm here" Glenda announced, placing the ring back down where she had found it. She didn't want Ronnie to think she'd been going through her stuff and for whatever reason Ronnie had hung on to it.

"What?!" Roxy choked in amazement, she tried to read her mothers expression but she wasn't giving anything away. Roxy couldn't understand exactly what would possess her to ever desire to face Archie Mitchell ever again.

"I have questions I need answering darling. I just have this need to understand him, to justify how I was ever able to fall in love with him" Glenda admitted sitting down on the bed.

"Mum he's not worth it, just forget about him." Roxy insisted, though part of her was like Glenda, wanting to see him and wanting an explanation. They couldn't have just been completely blind could they? There had to be some good in Archie Mitchell...

***

"You ready?" Ronnie asked, looking over at Danielle who sat on the sofa looking a little lost staring into space.

"Not really" Danielle admitted looking over at Ronnie. She pulled self-consciously on the sleeves of her top, they didn't seem long enough, she was sure people would see straight through and think she was a freak. She'd had enough of people staring to last her a lifetime.

"Come on baby" Ronnie smiled taking hold of Danielle's hand and pulling her up. She wanted them to get away from Walford, away from people that they knew and faces that were constantly watching and judging. She wanted strangers who just looked and saw a mother and daughter not that Ronnie Mitchell and the daughter she gave away.

Walking outside Danielle stood looking out, sighing as she noticed Ronnie wasn't right behind her. Turning back towards the house she saw Ronnie emerge with a jackets and helmets in hand. Danielle shot her a puzzled look, watching the huge smile on Ronnie's face.

"They say bike rides clear your head, it's worked pretty well for me in the past" Ronnie announced, pushing a helmet and jacket in Danielle's direction. Ronnie was strutting confidently in the direction of her bike.

"You're actually serious aren't you?" Danielle laughed, tugging on the jacket half terrified and half excited following Ronnie, shaking her head as Ronnie nodded and smiled.

***

"Have you considered perhaps coming with me?" Glenda asked looking at Roxy and searching her face for some kind of sign or signal. She could see Roxy was struggling with the thought just as she had the past few weeks she'd been considering it. Glenda so desperately needed to know what she had ever done wrong to deserve how Archie treated her and treated her daughters, she needed to know how he could hurt Ronnie in the way that he had and she needed to know how he had reacted to everything with Rebecca.

"I can't. I can't do that to Ronnie" Roxy sighed, rubbing her eyes as she fought her own desire to face her father and demand to know how he could have done the things that he had done. She said that she couldn't go because of Ronnie but deep down she knew that the reason she couldn't face Archie Mitchell was because she was scared that he'd be able to work him magic and that she'd get lost under his spell once again.

"Ronnie doesn't have to know" Glenda suggested "just like Rebecca and Danielle don't have to know either" Glenda was aware that her youngest daughter would be furious to know what what Glenda was considering and her granddaughter she imagined would be terrified.

***

"Where are we?" Danielle asked, he legs still slightly shaky as she removed her helmet and shook her head to try and make her hair look normal again. She rolled her eyes as Ronnie removed hers still looking as perfect as ever.

"I'm not completely sure" Ronnie laughed looking around at all the greenery and general beauty of the place, deciding that wherever they were this was definitely the perfect place to stop. Not a familiar face in sight and she could see a small, friendly cafe that looked as if it would suit perfectly. "Come on, i'm starving!"

The two women made their way in the direction of the cafe, Danielle peeling her jacket off as the sun beat down on them. Ronnie did the same, appreciating the slight breeze that brushed past them. Ronnie watched as Danielle walked a little more confidently than usual, she was far more relaxed in this new environment and Ronnie was happy she'd made the decision to get them away from Walford.

Time seemed to move slower away from the city, it was such a relaxed atmosphere, the music playing faintly in the background was so old Ronnie couldn't identify the artist but it was soothing and gentle and she felt her foot move slightly in time with it. They quickly ordered and the lady working behind the counter didn't take long to bring it over. All the while Ronnie sat starting at Danielle, Danielle could feel her mothers gaze but for once it didn't make her feel uncomfortable, in fact if anything it was reassuring having Ronnie locked on her and completely focused.

"How are you feeling?" Ronnie asked, sipping at her tea, recoiling slightly at the temperature of the hot liquid as it burnt the tip of her tongue.

"I'm not ill" Danielle sighed slightly, blowing on her own tea to cool it down slightly before taking a sip.

"I know... I'm just checking up on you... It's what mothers do" Ronnie smiled, she hated feeling nervous around Danielle but the pressure of the situation always did this to her. Made her sound like an idiot, so out of control.

Danielle smiled to let Ronnie know she appreciated her fussing, scraping her finger along the top of her cake, she licked the icing off her finger tip.

"So is today just to make me feel better about what's coming tomorrow?" Danielle asked, shuddering at the thought of her impending counseling session, every spare moment she got she heard herself rehearsing things she would say in her mind. Ways of phrasing situations, things to avoid, things that were safe to talk about. It was a finally tuned operation at least in Danielle's head, as organised as everything she did was.

"No... Tomorrows your choice, I want you to do it but i'm not forcing you Danielle" Ronnie sighed, running her hand through her hair she could see the concern etched on Danielle's face and wondered whether making her the appointment was the right thing at all.

"But you think I need it?" Danielle asked, she didn't know if Ronnie could answer that question right... If she did need it, it was like calling her crazy, if she didn't need it that was like being completely unaware of her pain.

"I don't see what harm it can do" Ronnie smiled, dodging the question slightly.

"The cakes nice" Danielle muttered, looking down at her plate not wanting to talk to Ronnie anymore as her head filled with worry once again. She couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow, as much as she wanted to, as much as she wanted to enjoy her day out there was always that sitting there, taunting her and scaring her.

Ronnie reached for a napkin and taking out a pen scrawled a quick note, sliding it across the table to Danielle. Danielle looked up in surprise before picking the napkin up and reading what it said.

_I love you_

That was all it needed to say.


	64. Knocks You Down

By the time they returned to Walford it was dark, the day had just felt better after Ronnie's gesture, Danielle seemed to relax more and they'd enjoyed wandering around the small shops in the town they were in. There wasn't really anything to buy, just things to look at. They'd gone and sat in the park and watched other mothers and daughters, both feeling that same pang of jealousy, both wishing they'd been able to do all the little things that all these women were taking for granted. They'd talked, nothing serious, more of a getting to know you session there were so many small details that they had yet to know, things parents normally just knew and didn't even think about. Ronnie was having to learn all these details, learn her daughter.

"_I really don't like pigeons, there's just something about them, that evil glare it really creeps me out" Danielle laughed as she confessed her 'fears' to Ronnie, Ronnie couldn't help but laugh at Danielle's 'fear' she was expecting something like needles or spiders. "It's a real fear you know! Peristerophobia!" Danielle laughed giving Ronnie a playful push. "You know some really random things!" Ronnie teased, but it was another thing she'd learnt, she'd found out details about Danielle at school, her exams and results, extracurriculars, friends and a whole life of adventures. So many questions that she'd wanted answering before but they'd always gotten distracted by something else happening._

They'd even managed to find a small restaurant for dinner, Ronnie smiled as she noticed how Danielle was tucking in far more enthusiastically that earlier, clearly she was worrying far less about tomorrow but all the same Ronnie didn't want to bring it up again. As they stepped off the bike, stepped back into reality, they did so with clearer heads.

"See now I don't understand exactly how i'm supposed to use the bathroom when there's no privacy darling!" Glenda was complaining, Roxy and Rebecca clearly looked fed up their faces indicating that Glenda had been in full on mum mode for most of the day.

"I'll get it fixed tomorrow mum I promise" Ronnie smiled "right after Danielle's appointment."

"Oh... Mum you don't have to come with me tomorrow i'm capable of getting there and back on my own" Danielle said with a small sigh, she didn't want Ronnie to be there, this was something she had to do all on her own.

"I'm not just leaving you, I know how worried you've been about it" Ronnie pointed out, she just wanted to be there, holding Danielle's hand and supporting her when she needed it the most.

"Err... Ron you might want to check the answering machine before you decide on any plans for tomorrow" Roxy pointed out rolling her eyes and knowing full well that Ronnie would not be impressed at the message that was waiting for her.

Ronnie walked over to the machine and pressed play whilst Roxy hit mute on the television so that Ronnie could hear it properly. Roxy was also preparing for the fireworks she knew would accompany and wanted to fully appreciate the upcoming scene.

"_Ron it's Jack... Remember me? Your business partner? Well I thought i'd leave you a message to let you know that you need to step up and actually do something here, i'm sick and tired of running the events, working the bar and doing all the paperwork! I'm not a mug Ronnie, you can't keep walking all over me. Show up tomorrow or we start talking about selling... I mean it Ron." _

The beep that indicated the message had finished was like the starting gun in a race, the minute it went off Ronnie was off. Her face blushed red with anger and frustration.

"That arrogant...!!" Ronnie started quickly getting interrupted by Glenda.

"Darling calm down" Glenda soothed, touching her hand to Ronnie's shoulder but Ronnie quickly pulled away, pacing the room she began to vent her frustrations.

"Seriously?! Who the hell does he think he is?! He has to do a little work whilst I take time to take care of my family and he threatens me! Who does he think he is seriously?!" Ronnie ranted, slamming her fist down with frustration.

Roxy and Rebecca exchanged a look, trying to stifle laughter which was proving difficult until Glenda shot them both a death stare which immediately quelled any desire to mock Ronnie's rage. Danielle headed over to Ronnie's side and took her hand, immediately stopping her and calming her.

"Mum go in tomorrow and prove him wrong, don't do it for him do it for the business. As soon as I get back I will come straight over and tell you how it went but I need to go there on my own ok?" Danielle said softly though there was a demanding force in Ronnie's voice that told her there was no way she was going to change Ronnie's mind.

"So if I go for a shower none of you lot are going to come barging in..." Glenda interrupted, trying to change the subject.

"Seriously mum, no-one wants to be confronted by you in the nude!" Roxy laughed teasing her mother.

***

Ronnie rolled over, yawning and forcing herself awake. Next to her Roxy was spread out snoring away, her hair pointing in multiple directions and a small stream of drool running down the side of her mouth.

"Could you be anymore attractive?" Ronnie laughed to herself, pulling herself up and looking at the clock on Roxy's bedside table, it was already after ten. "Damn it!" Ronnie cursed springing up and making her way down the stairs.

"She's already gone darling" Glenda called hearing Ronnie search the entire bottom floor for her daughter. Amy was nestled in her grandmothers arms, pulling at a piece of her hair and giggling.

"Why didn't you wake me?!" Ronnie snapped, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Because Danielle didn't want you to be woken up. Anyway darling you've got enough to do today, I believe there's a small mountain of paperwork waiting for you in your office" Glenda smiled rocking Amy back and forth and stroking her little face.

"Yeah... I better go and get ready. You alright with her? I can wake Roxy if you want?" Ronnie asked, pointing at Amy.

"Let her sleep darling. Me and my little angel are having some granny time" Glenda assured, watching as Ronnie made her way off to go and get herself ready.

It didn't take long for Ronnie to get ready, a quick shower before pulling on some clothing that showed she meant business. Blow drying her hair she looked at herself in the mirror, trying to look less... Soft... It was strange but she could see herself changing and though that was great for her relationship with Danielle she wasn't quite sure her business would appreciate the softly softly approach.

Making her way across the square she saw for once people weren't staring at her, it was a massive relief, she guessed some other drama had taken precedence and couldn't feel sorry for whoever that was. Scrolling through her phone she hoped desperately from a text from Danielle, just a small note to assure her that she was ok but there was nothing. Ronnie was so engrossed in her phone she wasn't even slightly looking where she was going.

"Woah there Ron calm down" Max laughed as Ronnie crashed into him sending her mobile and his coffee flying, Max leaned down and picked up Ronnie's mobile, brushing off the dirt he handed it back to Ronnie.

"Max i'm sorry! I'm just stressed out. Your coffee! Oh Max let me buy you another one" Ronnie offered, panicking about the trouble she was causing and desperately checking that her phone was still working. The last thing she needed was a broken phone.

"Ian's coffee is disgusting anyway, you probably did me a favour" Max laughed, slightly concerned by how stressed and worked up Ronnie looked, he was guessing she needed a friend.

"I could make you one at the club? I'm heading over there now, your brother's given me strict instructions to start pulling my weight." Ronnie sighed, brushing her hair away she felt a bubble of rage start again just thinking of Jack's attitude.

"Well my brothers a bit of a... Well you know what my brother is" Max laughed "coffee sounds good though"

Ronnie and Max made their way over to the club, Ronnie finally having someone to vent things to. She hadn't been aware before just how much this friendship mattered to her. He patiently listened to Ronnie's issues, the way she'd been feeling and some of what had been happening with Danielle though she was careful to leave out the worse bits. Ronnie moved on discussing her stresses Jack thinking she wasn't pulling her weight and her promise to Glenda to sort out the bathroom door.

"Surely that's a bit uncomfortable not having a bathroom door?" Max laughed, drinking his coffee whilst Ronnie cleaned up behind the bar.

"Well it's not exactly convenient, especially with mum staying at the moment. Don't suppose you know any good handymen do you?" Ronnie asked with a small laugh, leaning down to restock one of the fridges.

"I could do it if you like? Pop round now i've got the afternoon free" Max offered finishing off his coffee, he thought if he could take this one thing off Ronnie's list of things to do she might be able to relax a little. He also needed something occupy him and take his mind off things, Tanya still wasn't being as responsive as he would have liked and he didn't fancy an afternoon of checking his phone for messages.

"Oh Max I wasn't fishing for an offer, if you know the name of someone decent i'll give them a ring" Ronnie smiled, appreciating the gesture.

"No i'm serious, it'll take me half an hour tops. You've already bought the new door right?" Max asked, working out in his mind how long it would take to put a door back on and trying to remember whether he'd ever done it before. He figured it couldn't be that hard.

"Yeah it should have been delivered this morning" Ronnie nodded, pulling forward some bottles and tidying up.

"Well then it just needs fitting, i'll pop round and do it now, you can pay me in beer" Max laughed with a cheeky wink, standing up he grabbed his jacket.

"Well i'm a little tied up here" Ronnie confessed, she had to finish up in the bar and she hadn't even started on her paperwork, popping home right now wasn't even an option.

"Chuck us the keys i'll grab my tools and let myself in" Max assured, grabbing the set of keys from Ronnie and making his way towards the exit.

"Thanks Max you're an absolute star" Ronnie smiled with a slight nod.

"That's what friends are for Ron" Max smiled back walking off whistling to himself, it made Ronnie laugh as she turned back to the fridge.

***

Roxy rinsed her hair, washing out all the shampoo and trying to smooth her uncontrollable hair. Feeling slightly more human than when she'd awoke looking and feeling like a zombie she finished up her shower, squeezing the water out of her hair before stepping out. The mat on the floor soaking up the water that dripped off her.

"Bloody hell Rox!" Max shouted standing in the doorway toolbox in hand, his eyes wide he looked up and down before letting out a huge rumbling laugh.

"Max! What are you doing here!" Roxy screamed chasing round looking for a towel whilst Max stood looking away, only giving the occasional peek whilst he continued laughing.

"I've come to fix the bathroom door" Max grinned, still looking away from the bathroom he just stared at his feet to try and make the situation slightly less awkward than it already was.

"Did you not hear me showering!" Roxy screeched, blushing bright red with embarrassment. She finally grabbed a towel and tried to cover herself up.

"Clearly not Roxy" Max laughed "I really have seen it all now..." he teased, turning back around as soon as he was assured that Roxy was finally covered up.

"Seriously Max shut up before I give you a slap" Roxy growled pulling the towel tightly around her.

"Show's over then Rox?" Max laughed as Roxy barged past him, stomping off towards her bedroom.


	65. You Keep It All In

"What do I do?" Danielle asked, nervously picking at her fingernails she felt completely intimidated. The councillor looked kind enough, he had introduced himself as Steven, he had green eyes and a warm smile but there was an edge to him, after all it was his job to be sat here. It was for this reason that Danielle was struggling to really talk to him, they'd gone over lots of small details, the basics but now there was just empty silence and Danielle wasn't sure how she was supposed to fill it.

"Whatever you want... You can talk or you can just sit there." Steven smiled, he was trying to encourage the scared looking girl slowly not wanting to push her too soon. He was fascinated by the story, by the complexity of emotions he was about to tap into and he didn't want to scare Danielle away, he wanted to build her trust but right now she looked as if she couldn't trust anyone.

"Either way you get paid..." Danielle muttered, a distinct bitterness in her voice. She felt as if she was being conned, why should she spill out her feelings to some stranger who didn't care either way. It was times like this she wished she could go back to when things were simpler, but then the reminder that she would be without Ronnie kicked in and that was a pain she just couldn't endure.

"It's not like that Danielle. I want you to talk to me because I think I can help." Steven stressed, he tried to meet Danielle's eye-line but she was resisting forming any type of connection. He was used to avoidance, most of the people he talked to tried to avoided something, a certain area that was just too raw or a chapter that was too embarrassing or painful to mention.

"How can you help? How many cases like this do you get? Seriously" Danielle snapped, how could talking to this man ever help her? How could he make her not want to hurt herself? How could he make everything between her and Ronnie perfect? What would talking do other than make her relive all the bad things that had happened. No-one could understand the pain she felt, it was uniquely hers and this man in front of her had just learnt from books, textbook examples of how a person was meant to feel and the emotions that created that feeling, none of it was real.

"I've dealt with adoption cases before Danielle, a lot of your thoughts and feelings are very typical here. Granted there are aspects to your case that are unique but essentially the way you're feeling isn't abnormal." Steven explained, he tried to pick up on her body language looking at the way she formed a barrier between him and her analyzing the way she protected herself. "Why don't you talk to me about why you decided to get in contact with your biological mother?" He began pressing for information, wanting to form an idea of what had brought this girl to feeling as if she needed to punish and hurt herself. He'd spoken to a number of people who had self-harmed but each of them had a different reason, a different story to tell.

"Why does any adopted child? Curiosity I guess, my adoptive mother had died and there was a gap that I needed to fill" Danielle explained, she was still hostile and guarded, not going in any deeper. She stopped herself from telling him how she'd gone to find Ronnie because she felt this unbelievable connection that had always been there lingering and pulling her to the girl in the locket, a locket she analyzed religiously, studying every single detail. She could see that picture in her mind without even really thinking about it, it was burned on, etched in her mind and it never moved. It existed in her dreams... Her nightmares...

"Ok, well why didn't you tell her who you were straight away?" Steven asked, it was this part that intrigued him the most. Seven months of living right under her biological mothers nose without telling her a thing. Why? Did she not tell her mother because she didn't like her? If that was true than why stay there? What brought her to telling her in the end?

"I wanted to get to know her. Didn't want to form any kind of emotional connection or bond without making sure I knew what kind of person she was." Danielle explained, her tone was still off, she wasn't really letting Steven in, just filling him in on the minor details, honouring her agreement with Ronnie to talk to someone could be easily done. Ronnie had never specified just how deep Danielle had to go.

"_Good girl where were they hiding?" Ronnie smiled, she'd finally gotten one over on her father. Perhaps this cleaner girl could be some kind of ally in the VIc. "I am so sorry Ronnie..." Danielle said nervously, passing over the pile of letters and knowing what was coming next. "It's a terrible thing when when your own daughter doesn't trust you" Archie smirked making his grand entrance. "You told me I didn't have any post" Ronnie retorted, trying to sound strong but knowing that Archie made her weak. "Must have slipped my mind... Not like me to forget things" Archie smiled, looking at the young girl squirming next to his angry looking daughter and feeling incredibly smug. "It's most out of character" Ronnie gave a wry smile, joining in her fathers games whilst Danielle stood and watched completely amazed by the scene before her, her mother and grandfather seemingly in a battle they were both familiar with. "I just don't understand why you'd force poor Danielle to go rooting though my private affairs?" Archie asked, he was working, manipulating the situation trying to make Ronnie look like the bad guy whilst Danielle continued squirming wishing the ground would swallow her whole. "Because I thought I could trust her" Ronnie delivered bluntly, her eyes looking into Danielle's unaware of who this girl was, Danielle stood her mind racing her heart pounding fearing she had lost everything she had come to find before she'd ever gotten her chance._

"But surely you figured out what kind of person she was quite quickly? You met her, you worked for her family, you worked for her. You obviously wanted to stay around so why didn't you tell her?" Steven pushed, he wanted answers from Danielle, he wanted her to talk. A girl who was surrounded by her biological family, working alongside them, co-existing socially and yet she never said a word. Why?

"Because she wasn't who I thought she'd be... But by this point I loved her and I couldn't bare to not be around her. Plus I had friends, a home, a job. For a while I thought that maybe just being around her would be enough." Danielle continued to explain, it was easier answering Steven's questions than just talking, she certainly wasn't conscious of it but slowly she was relaxing letting her guard down and letting him in.

"But it wasn't?" Steven asked, he noted a couple of points down but stopped when he saw Danielle glaring at him. "Sorry, I just need to keep a couple of notes, make sure I don't miss anything" he quickly placed his pen down realising Danielle's paranoia, he was guessing she was the subject of a lot of gossip which made her feel like this.

Danielle nodded, trying to crane her neck so that she could see exactly what he was writing but he simply turned the page and beckoned for her to continue. She scowled at him, but he didn't respond, just continued to look at her, pushing her to continue talking, praying he hadn't lost her again.

"We started getting closer, I found out I was pregnant and she helped me." Danielle sighed, her stomach turning as she thought about the abortion and everything that had happened. She wished she hadn't mentioned that part, wished she'd kept her abortion secret and shame bubbled inside her. The image of that perfect baby boy flashed in her mind, she closed her eyes trying to force him away, the image only being shatttered as Steven's voice cut through the silence.

"_Its hard... I know it must be really hard because whichever way you go whatever you decide to do... You can't win... Oh sweetie, oh darling come here, listen to me everything is going to be ok alright I promise you, I promise you, you will cope... I'm living proof, I wasn't even as old. Oh Danielle you've got your whole future ahead of you." Ronnie soothed, she was acting like a friend... A mother and Danielle relished the moment. Her heart was aching but there was Ronnie trying to put the pieces back together._

"You had all the counseling before your abortion, yes?" Steven asked, watching how the girl in front of him had let the hardness slip momentarily whilst sadness oozed out. He thought about the many different complexities of Danielle, he could have be talking to four different people, maybe even more, each with their own problem but instead all these problems existed in just one young girl.

"Yes, she even came with me to the first appointment... My mum" Danielle began, remembering sitting in that clinic that felt more like an office. There was nothing medical about it, it was as if what she was doing was the most normal everyday thing.

"_You're bound to feel low Danielle, but I honestly believe making this decision now... When the time is right you'll be a great mum" Ronnie gave Danielle a warm smile, looking around at the tiny office, wishing she could scream at Danielle to keep her baby and be a mum now. How could she lie to this girl and tell her what she was doing was ok? Ronnie shook the thought away, 'Danielle is not you' Ronnie thought to herself trying to keep positive for the scared looking child beside her._

"So the abortion... Everything was ok?" Steven asked, the question sounded stupid how could anyone feel ok about that?

"Yes. I was fine, I thought I was fine. But she let me down" Danielle admitted, her mind wandering slightly as she raked over mixed up feelings that hurt her so badly. Remembering the way that Ronnie had phoned her up, remembering Ronnie's words, her mother was leaving her to face a most horrible pain all alone for a few problems at the club.

"How did that make you feel?" Steven prompted, trying to get Danielle to open up more, a the moment all her sentences were so closed off, she wasn't really revealing anything.

"I don't know... I was upset, she told me having her baby was the biggest mistake of her life... I was that mistake. I hadn't really thought about what having the abortion entailed it had just become a way of getting closer to Ronnie, when she didn't come with me to the second appointment that was when it all started to feel real." Danielle said, her mind was screaming at her not to blame Ronnie, Danielle reminded herself why Ronnie hadn't turned up that day, it was because of everything she'd gone through believing she'd lost her child.

"_I was so young... Having that baby... Was the biggest mistake of my life" Ronnie uttered, not realising how those words crushed Danielle's hope, spirit and the chance of Ronnie being reunited with the child she so desperately wanted._

She didn't like the way this session was feeling, glancing up at the clock she prayed it was nearly over. "Are we nearly done?"

"Yes... It looks like our time is almost up, it wasn't too bad was it?" Steven smiled, concerned by how abruptly this session had stopped. "We'll pick up from here next time"

"How long will I have to keep coming?" Danielle asked nervously, they'd barely covered anything, it scared her that she would be stuck in these sessions forever. Slowly revealing all the bad things she'd spent so long trying to hide away.

"As long as it takes" Steven smiled


	66. Adieu

"Never fear the dream team is here!" Rebecca laughed as her and Billy walked into the club, Ronnie popped her head round the office door and smiled when she saw them equipped with rubber gloves and cleaning equipment.

"Billy? I thought you couldn't come in a clean today?" Ronnie asked, feeling confused as she remembered the note that Jack had left scrawled saying that Billy was busy with Janet and William and that she would have to clean the club, it was one of that tasks she was trying to ignore, she'd gone over the bar but the thought of cleaning the toilets or trying to remove the various stains from off the sofas was something she was dreading.

"Jack called me and told me he didn't need me, then Bec came over and said you did." Billy explained, just grateful that he was needed and that he would be getting paid, he had his heart set on some presents for the kids, he wanted to prove to Honey he could provide for them. He didn't know what was going on between Jack and Ronnie but he didn't want to be in the middle of it all, he decided then and there he'd only take orders off of Ronnie, she was family and at the end of the day he could trust her not to screw him over. Unlike Jack Branning who he'd always been wary of.

"I think Jack just wanted to land you in it" Rebecca explained, she hated having to tell Ronnie this, she knew the feelings that had once existed between her sister and him but she needed to know, watching Ronnie's face fall and crease with anger she wasn't sure if she'd done the right thing. She'd overheard Jack in the cafe telling Billy he wasn't required, she'd seen the smirk on his face when he thought he'd come up with the perfect plan to punish Ronnie for her 'lack of dedication' to the club and decided to do something about it.

"Right i'll go get started" Billy smiled enthusiastically, noticing the tension at the mention of Jack's name he decided to keep his distance and just get on with the job. Rebecca was more than capable of looking after Ronnie.

"He's just trying to get a rise out of you Ron, forget it ok? Seriously it doesn't matter, it's all sorted now. You just get on with that paperwork and me and Billy will have the club looking spotless" Rebecca promised trying to calm her furious looking sister. But it wasn't just fury, it was hurt...

"Why does he have to be like this with me? He knows what things are at home at the moment, surely he can understand why I can't be completely dedicated to the club? I thought I knew him... He really isn't who I thought he was" Ronnie admitted in a small voice, was this the man she'd really once loved? The man she thought was 'the one', who she'd let break her heart more than once... Punishing her for wanting to be a mum to the daughter he knew she'd craved all this time.

"_What's wrong?" Jack asked walking into the office and seeing Ronnie nursing a glass of vodka, by the looks of things half the bottle had already gone. "Nothing..." Ronnie paused before finally admitting "it's Roxy" she sighed. Jack panicked, had something serious happened "What is she ok?" He asked looking at how wrecked Ronnie looked and assuming the worst. "I don't know! I mean that's the problem! My dad wont let me see her!" Ronnie cried, clutching on tighter to the glass of vodka, it was her crutch, her support. "What is it between you and him?" Jack asked, he'd witnessed enough animosity between Ronnie and her father to know that things were far from alright between them and now he was keeping her from her sister. "I just want to know if she's alright" Ronnie begged, her stomach was knotted, she felt sick from the alcohol and sick when she thought about her little sister all alone without her. "Course you do" Jack nodded, their bond was everything, he almost felt guilty when he thought about the night he'd shared with Roxy but he forced the feeling away, dismissed it because what Ronnie knew wouldn't hurt her. "...and the baby I couldn't bare it if she lost the baby" Ronnie cried, thinking about that baby reminded her of her own, Roxy couldn't go through that loss, she wasn't strong enough. "Im sure that ain't gunna happen" Jack grunted trying to assure Ronnie, he guessed she was just drunk and oversensitive and wanted to try and make her feel better quickly. He shivered slightly at the mention of the baby. "What you're a doctor now are you?!" Ronnie snapped, hating that condescending tone, Jack thinking he always knew right. "I'm sorry" she apologised as he looked at her hurt. "Look i could pop over there if you like? Go check if she's ok?" Jack offered, secretly this was a selfish act, it was him wanting to know if the baby was ok just incase... No he wouldn't even think that... But he couldn't stop... "Would you do that? Would you do that really?" Ronnie asked, looking at Jack like he was a hero whilst he stood there feeling anything but. "Yeah course no problem'" Jack grunted, he just wanted to get away now, Ronnie was looking at him and he was scared she would be able to read him and know what he was hiding. "Thank you, thanks you're a really good friend" Ronnie smiled, taking comfort in the man infront of her, feeling that familiar burning attraction. He squirmed in her glowing light, it was highlighting his cracks, exposing him. "Right i'll go and check now then ok?" Jack smiled making his way towards the door. "Dont go" Ronnie suddenly yelped, standing there looking like a lost little girl she needed Jack more than ever. "I thought you wanted me to...?" Jack asked confused, he couldn't stay here and keep lying to Ronnie he just wanted to get away. "We don't always get what we want in life do we?... The one think I want I can't have because all I really want is my little girl back" Ronnie admitted, her body shaking, she turned away from Jack trying to hide her shame. He looked on puzzled, he couldn't understand this hold Ronnie so desperately wanted to have over Roxy. "Look you cant hold on to Roxy forev..." Jack began taken back as he was quickly interrupted by words he never expected to hear. "Not Roxy!" Ronnie shouted, she didn't want to hide her little girl any longer she wanted to scream that she longed for her daughter and she didn't care who knew it. "Hang on I don't understand?" Jack asked, who else could it be? Who was Ronnie's little girl? "Dont worry about it just go, i'm drunk, i'm upset can you just go and see if Roxy's ok?" Ronnie backtracked, she couldn't go into this with Jack couldn't bring up this pain. "Well no. No, not until you tell me what you're really upset about?" Jack snapped, he needed to know now, he needed to know Ronnie's every secret. "I'm upset about Roxy, it's Roxy! Can you just go and see if she's alright?" Ronnie begged, she wanted Jack to leave it, wanted him to walk away now before she let him in, he was so close now it was starting to hurt. "No, no no, there's more to it than that! Is this about your dad has he hurt you?" Jack raged, fists clenched he just dreamed of punishing Archie Mitchell. "Just go!" Ronnie begged, if he didn't leave now she would share with him the biggest part of her and he didn't deserve it... And she was drunk... This wasn't the right time. "No not until you tell me! Come on... just tell me" Jack forced, it was the final push "I don't want Roxy to lose the baby because... Because I don't want her to go through what I went through" Ronnie finally muttered, breathing a sigh of relief as she watched Jack's face change and finally understand, this was why Ronnie Mitchell was the way she was._

"He's an idiot Ron, forget him" Rebecca instructed, touching Ronnie's shoulder in support before leaving her to go and join Billy with the cleaning. She knew Ronnie needed to be alone to think this all through.

"Hey Bec..." Ronnie started, she wanted to say something about Jack but quickly changed her mind and searched for something else to say instead "... I don't want no sister of mine cleaning toilets ok?"

"I'll leave that to Billy" Rebecca laughed, watching as Ronnie joined in putting up a front, but Bec knew inside Ronnie was hurting. She let very few people into her life, with Jack she had shared everything and now she was seeing him in this whole new light.

Ronnie moved over to the bar and poured herself a vodka, the burning of the alcohol hitting the back of her throat and making her cringe slightly. Refilling her glass she let it sit in front of her closing her eyes and tried to consider everything, she thought about Jack, that life she'd once had with him and she thought about her life now... When her eyes opened she saw a confused looking Jack standing in front of her. He grabbed hold of her glass sniffing the liquid inside though he already knew what it was.

"Bit early?" Jack asked pushing the glass back towards Ronnie, he sighed looking over at Billy scrubbing one of the sofas in the club. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Ronnie who was looking straight at him, a mixture of hurt and confusion. "What's he doing here?"

"Want to mess with me Jack, don't try using my family to do it. Mitchell loyalty" Ronnie smirked, trying to mask any pain she was feeling. She was glaring at Jack, trying to read his expression but as usual he was keeping it blank his unreadable eyes giving away nothing.

"Yeah you all stand by each other don't you...? Visited your dad in prison recently?" Jack retorted, he immediately regretted bringing up Archie when he saw the expression on Ronnie's face. He knew he'd crossed the line and immediately dropped his head in shame "Sorry Ron."

"We're business partners, we don't need to be friends or..." Ronnie didn't finish the sentence "... Listen just stop trying to mess with me or with this business, if it was Penny or Amy that needed you then i'd step in a let you do that, why can't you give me that support whilst I try and help my daughter?" Ronnie spat, for once she didn't recoil when she mentioned Amy's name in relation to Jack, she genuinely meant it.

Jack shuffled looking guilty, he hated the way that Ronnie was looking at him, she wasn't overreacting or getting angry, she wasn't playing his game and arguing with him. She was calm and serious and he hated it, he wanted to inspire passion and heat but he got nothing.

"I'm sorry Ron, I was just being selfish... It's because I love you you know?" Jack admitted, his eyes met Ronnie's. But she just looked confused before dropping her head and pulling away from his glare.

"Jack i'm sorry... We're never going to happen, I just can't." Ronnie shook her head.

Jack took Ronnie face in his hands, he wanted her to be powerless to him to want him the same way that he wanted her. He was looking at her, trying to be everything she needed, trying to be everything she could ever want. He moved in, wanting so badly to kiss her. His lips so close to hers he could feel her breath against his skin...

"Jack i'm serious, this isn't what I want" Ronnie whispered moving her head away, releasing herself from his grip. He tried to hide his shock looking at her only with bemusement. "There is only one person that I need in my life and that's my daughter, i've waited twenty years for her and now that I finally have her i'm certainly not going to throw it away on someone who will only end up breaking my heart."

"She's an adult Ron, you think she'll want you holding her hand forever?" Jack asked.

"No she won't, and i'm not saying that I will be alone forever. But right now she needs me and even if she didn't... You wouldn't be the man for me" Ronnie admitted, it wasn't a nice thing to say, it was certainly a dent to his ego but as to whether she'd broken his heart... Ronnie didn't think she ever mattered enough to him to even cause a crack to the surface.

"You love me, I know you love me but I won't wait around for you forever. One day you're going to be wishing you had everything" Jack warned.

"My daughter is everything" Ronnie smiled, tipping away her untouched vodka and leaving Jack standing alone.

Danielle was stood just out of sight, she'd heard everything and smiled to herself. She'd been so unsure of how she felt about her mother after her counseling session but there was Ronnie affirming her love for her. Walking out she marched over to Ronnie and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in tight.

"Hey you, how were things today?" Ronnie asked, smiling and holding her daughter close.

"Better now i'm back with you" Danielle smiled, feeling the safety of her mothers arms closing around her. Kissing the top of Danielle's head Ronnie finally felt ok again having her daughter close to her. Jack could do nothing but watch and wish it was him that made her feel that happy.


	67. If Only They Knew

_Ronnie was twenty-one, she was a complete mess. It was after hours in a small bar she was working in. A bottle of vodka in her hand that had been full a hour ago but now held just a splash, which in one fail swoop had gone as well. Throwing the bottle against the wall she heard the reassuring smash against the wall, flakes of glass shattering around her it was the most unbelievably satisfying destruction. She looked up a the the clock and her eyes locked on the date dial that sat in the middle... It read the 26th, it was the 26th of June and all Ronnie wanted to do was destroy everything. Smashing her fist through the glass of the clock she was satisfied when the date jolted and changed, no longer reminding her... She looked at her fist that was now dripping with blood, pouring from her hand but she couldn't even feel pain, the vodka had silenced that. Blinking back tears she shivered as she unclasped the locket from round her neck, pulling it open she let herself take in the image of her baby for a minute before forcing it into her pocket, grabbing the nearest object which just so happened to be a baseball bat the landlord kept behind the bar for emergencies and she forced it forward into a pile of glasses, each and every explosion of glass making her feel better... _

Danielle was sat up in bed, she held a book in her hands but she wasn't really reading it, the words just looked at her but none seemed to hold any meaning. She wasn't even sure what the story was about anymore, she'd gotten lost about a chapter ago. Sighing she tried to read again, flipping back a couple of pages she tried to pick up the story but it was beginning to feel useless and she resigned herself to the fact that she would probably have to start the book again. Looking up she saw Ronnie standing in the doorway, looking at her and smiling, she moved inside the room and took her place next to Danielle, wrapping an arm around her daughter she glanced down at the book.

"Any good?" She asked smiling at Danielle.

"Not sure... I'm a bit lost" Danielle admitted, placing an old receipt inside the book to act as a bookmark and placing it on her bedside table. She rested her head on Ronnie's chest, listening to the reassuring sound of her mothers heartbeat. Both women considered the double meaning of Danielle's words, she hadn't mentioned a thing about her session today, Ronnie wasn't even sure if Danielle had gone.

"How was today?" Ronnie asked, she was hoping Danielle wouldn't dismiss the question like last time, she genuinely needed to know that Danielle was ok, that what she was feeling was ok.

"Weird... We talked a lot about you" Danielle sighed, it wasn't lost on her how strange it was that she'd spent the time with Steven talking about how Ronnie had let her down, about the pain that she'd caused her and yet being here, in Ronnie's arms... It was the most comforting place in the entire world. Nothing made sense when it came to Ronnie.

"You can talk to me about these things as well you know... You'll never hurt me, never push me away you know that right?" Ronnie smiled, stroking Danielle's hair she felt so guilty about everything. She imagined what people must think of her, what Danielle's therapist must be thinking, a terrible mother, a complete cow, someone who would throw their own child out on the street like a piece of rubbish... The excuse 'I didn't know' was starting to wear a little thin.

"We've talked about it all a hundred times, what's the point in us just going round in circles?" Danielle asked, she didn't want to keep being reminded of everything that Ronnie had ever done wrong... She wanted to think about everything good, all the positives, all the moments when Danielle had felt so secure and so loved that she never wanted to be apart from her. Every painful moment was nothing in comparison to the good times.

"I don't want you ever keeping all that stuff locked inside ever again... I'd rather you punish me than punish yourself ok?" Ronnie insisted, she couldn't help but admit just how unbelievably terrified she was that Danielle would take out her pain on herself again.

"I won't do that to you again I promise" Danielle insisted, though in her heart she wondered whether she could keep that promise, it was always there burning away as an option, another possibility, another way to make things better.

"My baby girl" Ronnie soothed, kissing Danielle's forehead "I will spend my entire life trying to fix everything"

"Even if it means putting your own happiness aside?" Danielle asked, the thought of the overheard conversation between Ronnie and Jack still playing on her mind, still bothering her as she considered that perhaps Ronnie was sacrificing her own happiness because she was scared of Danielle's reaction. Danielle couldn't help but consider how perhaps... If she'd just stayed dead... Maybe Ronnie and Jack would be together, happy and together.

"You are my happiness" Ronnie insisted, stretching out her legs she let her toes brush against Danielle's tickling her and making her smile.

"Come on! I'm trying to be serious here" Danielle laughed jerking her foot away "I heard you and Jack earlier... Are you rejecting him because of me?"

"I'm rejecting him because I don't have those feelings for him anymore" Ronnie insisted "Now can we stop talking about Jack and concentrate on you. Can we talk about earlier? Was everything ok?" Ronnie asked, she didn't realise how forceful she was sounding, she was so desperate to change the subject from Jack.

"Just leave it ok... Please" Danielle begged pulling her hand from Ronnie's, the atmosphere seemed to have completely changed but it was oddly familiar. The hug from earlier, the two of them emotionally and physically together now was all because Danielle was wanting so desperately to be close to her mother in one moment. But in the next the coldness and rejection that always came immediately afterwards would kick in and send Ronnie flying.

"If you didn't like who you were talking to I can arrange for you to talk to someone new, I just want you to feel comfortable" Ronnie began to ramble on, she was trying desperately to rescue the moment but she could feel Danielle pulling away.

"He's not the problem" Danielle snapped, she felt guilty as if she was playing with Ronnie's emotions. She'd been so calm before but then Ronnie had tried to force information out of her that she just wasn't willing to share. What right did Ronnie have to it? Those sessions were supposed to be her private release... They didn't even slightly compare to another form of release one which was screaming at Danielle now.

"I am..." Ronnie whispered as Danielle rolled over turning her back to Ronnie. Ronnie sat completely still for a moment knowing that she needed to do something, she kept wanting Danielle to open up to her but she realised she was never returning that trust. She needed Danielle to understand that she wasn't the only one who felt lost, who'd felt complete despair, who'd wanted to hurt themselves to make the pain go away.

"Just go" Danielle croaked, her hand reaching back to push Ronnie away from her but Ronnie wouldn't move she just sat looking straight ahead before she made her confession

"I thought about killing myself... More than once... I nearly did it at one point." Ronnie started, she spoke these words so calmly but their effect was outstanding, Danielle turned around and looked at Ronnie, seeing in her eyes that she was telling the truth. "You look at me like i'm so together, like what you're feeling is something I will never understand but I do."

"Why would you...? I just don't understand why you would feel like that...?" Danielle muttered, it didn't make sense this was her mother, Ronnie the most together person she'd ever met, sure she closed herself off, put on the armor but nothing ever got through, ever hurt her.

"Danielle when I lost you I fell apart, all I wanted to do was die and be with you." Ronnie admitted, looking down at Danielle. She couldn't work out why this was such a surprise to Danielle.

"You wouldn't have. Don't be stupid, you never would have hurt yourself." Danielle rationalised, she was shaking her head in disbelief, was Ronnie just lying to get closer to her? Was she lying about something so serious just to provoke a reaction.

"I thought i'd lost you forever, I was haunted by this ghost of everything that could have been and there didn't seem like there was anything to keep living for. It felt like I was drowning and there was no one to save me, no one to take my hand and tell me everything was going to be ok. I had all these thoughts, memories and regrets about you and they wouldn't go away. After Amy's christening, I trashed the place and then I came upstairs and found a bottle of pills... I hated it, feeling that way but right there in my hand was an option, a direction, I didn't have one before then..." Ronnie shivered as she remembered that feeling, her voice was unwavering as she shared her darkest moments with her daughter, letting her in finally.

"But you didn't, you decided not to do it." Danielle insisted, she was searching for any sign that Ronnie would never really have done it. She couldn't stand this, she was starting to realise how Ronnie felt, seeing it from the other side wasn't nice.

"Thing is I would have done... God can you imagine that Roxy coming home from the christening to find me. I can't imagine what that would have done to her, I didn't think about her when I stood there with those pills all I could think about was you. I wanted you so badly baby and this seemed like the only way. I wasn't happy without you, I wasn't complete." Ronnie continued, she was lost in these thoughts and feelings, her voice was haunting, terrifying to Danielle as she realised her mother was just as fragile as she was.

"Mum..." Danielle started, she pulled herself closer to Ronnie, she could feel Ronnie's quivering hand, shaking steadily, Danielle closed her own around it trying to stop the motion.

"Phil came in and he knocked the damn things out of my hand and he had the nerve to stand there and tease me about it... All of a sudden he just snapped me back into reality. instead I packed a suitcase and planned to leave. I would have gone if Roxy hadn't stopped me" Ronnie smiled, relaxing slightly as she calmed herself down.

"You would mum you're too strong, you're Wonder Woman" Danielle joked lightly, hating the aching feeling in her heart.

"But Danielle... Those twenty years I spent without you, I hurt myself in every possible way, physically and mentally. I'd drink myself into an oblivion to dull thoughts of you, allow men to treat me like dirt because I didn't deserve love and hurt myself because I didn't deserve to be standing there happy without you. It made me cold and hard, a person I didn't even recognise. I can't let that happen to you" Ronnie said as a tear rolled down her face, the memories of all those years in pain haunting her and hurting her.

Danielle nodded slightly, taking in her mothers words analysing and assessing each and every one.

"You have scars here..." Ronnie pointed to Danielle's arms, stroking the raised angry red lines with her finger. "Mine are here" Ronnie sighed holding her hand to her heart. "Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist."


	68. Here We Are

"He saw _everything_?" Bec asked narrowing her eyes at Roxy, she was trying to stifle the laugh that was just bursting to come out but Roxy had seemed so mortified she didn't dare make a joke out of the situation. They sat eating a meal that Roxy had prepared which was much to Rebecca's surprise not a disaster as Roxy recounted her days adventures.

"Everything" Roxy repeated, shaking her head, remembering how she'd hidden herself in her bedroom to try and avoid having to talk to Max. He'd made a few attempts to coax her out but she'd remained defiant and Max simply finished up the bathroom door before leaving.

"To be fair Rox half of Ibiza have seen 'everything' what's the big deal about Max catching a glimpse?" Ronnie asked, walking in the room having overheard Roxy and Rebecca's conversation. Running cold water from the tap she filled her glass, hoping it wasn't obvious that she'd been crying, luckily for her Roxy seemed a little too absorbed in her own issues to notice.

"Oh it was just so embarrassing! You could have given me some warning that he was going to be there Ron!" Roxy snapped as she watched her sisters exchange a smile, the pair of them beginning to giggle.

"Just be grateful that the bathroom door is fixed and we didn't have to pay out a fortune to get it done. Things are a bit tight round here Rox money-wise, it would be nice if you could contribute from time to time!" Ronnie retorted trying to pull a serious face but finding it difficult to disguise her laughter.

"Alright! I told Auntie Peg i'd pick up a few extra shifts so there will be money coming in soon" Roxy grumbled, she knew Ronnie was right though she'd been relying heavily on Ronnie and also the money she got from Jack to support her. But it was about time she started contributing. Plus she missed the social aspect of working the bar, she felt completely out of touch with all the gossip... Unless it was about her own family, she'd heard plenty of that.

"And i'm looking for a job!" Rebecca piped up smiling as she picked at the meal in front of her, shoving some of her vegetables onto Roxy's plate.

"Seriously are you five?!" Roxy laughed in response to the collection of greens that had been dumped on her plate, playfully pushing Rebecca who responded by pulling a face.

"Bec you don't have to rush into that, you still have your meetings to concentrate on." Ronnie interrupted, looking at her sister seriously. What was it with people in this family just trying to brush everything under the carpet?

"There's no reason I can't do both" Rebecca sighed, rolling her eyes much to Roxy's amusement.

"Roxy darling, can I have a quick word through here?" Glenda called interrupting, Roxy grudgingly stood up and marched out of the room leaving Ronnie to lecture Rebecca on how important her treatment was.

"What's going on?" Roxy whispered, shutting the door behind her. Glenda was acting as if they were part of some kind of covert operation, it obviously had something to do with what they had discussed the other day...

"He responded!" Glenda scowled, she look completely satisfied with herself knowing that she was just a day away from seeing Archie Mitchell exactly where he deserved to be.

"Mum you look like you've just found the golden ticket, calm down. What did he say?" Roxy asked, she felt the nerves building up inside her, part of her wanted him to write and reject them, she wasn't sure if she could face him after everything.

"We're going to see your father tomorrow!" Glenda smiled, raising her eyebrow she relished the opportunity to finally get answers from Archie Mitchell.

"Shush! Mum seriously if Ronnie finds out neither of our lives will be worth living I promise you that" Roxy warned, watching her mother walk away looking bizarrely content. All Roxy could think was how terrified she was at the prospect of facing him, talking to him and seeing him in prison. Would she feel sorry for him? Would it hurt to see him like that? Would the anger be too much to deal with? Perhaps Glenda was right, there were a lot of unanswered questions, maybe this would be closure.

Roxy slept awkwardly, she was still sharing a bed with Ronnie who seemed lost in her own problems but that didn't stop Roxy worrying that Ronnie would know exactly what she was thinking and what she was planning. When she eventually did close her eyes it seemed like two seconds before her alarm was buzzing, she got up quickly and dressed careful not to wake Ronnie, she could do without having to offer an explanation. The entire cab ride to the prison was spent in silence. Roxy and Glenda locked in silence as they both considered what was coming.

***

Roxy looked around the room, lots of scary looking men who couldn't keep their eyes off her. A few disgruntled looking visiting wives shot her death glares and Roxy began to regret wearing such a short skirt... Glenda could see the panic in Roxy's face and took hold of her hand, at first afraid that Roxy might push her away but relieved when Roxy squeezed back. Approaching the table where Archie sat Roxy felt her stomach churn and her heart race, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him looking so defeated, so unlike her proud and handsome father.

"You two are clearly on better terms, you were blackmailing her to leave the last time she was around" Archie laughed, mocking the tenderness that had formed between his ex-wife and daughter. It was his way of covering up his disgust and hurt that Roxy would so easily be sucked in by that woman.

"I'm trying my hardest to repair my relationship with my daughters, whatever i've done to them in the past it's nothing like what you've done." Glenda snapped, instantly put off by Archie's wicked grin as he stared right at her trying to weaken her with his presence obviously unaware that he was a shadow of his former self and she was not even close to being scared of him.

"Me? What Glen raised them? Loved them? Stuck by them? All those things you couldn't quite manage, you're pathetic swooping in and worming your way back into their lives." Archie growled, one of the guards noticing that the situation was getting tense and shot Archie a warning glare.

"Dad will you just leave her alone alright? You tried to kill Ronnie, you almost did kill Rebecca how the hell are we supposed to forgive that?" Roxy asked, her eyes locked on Archie's, he had to blink to try and break the connection, to try and stop Roxy working her way back into his heart and clouding his judgement. He shuddered slightly at the mention of Rebecca.

"Is she really mine Glen? Surely her dad could be any number of men?" Archie asked, her voice scornful because though deep down he knew the truth he wanted to hurt Glenda and he knew questioning her loyalty to him would cause her pain.

"How can you ask me that? How can you even suggest I ever went anywhere near another man? I loved you Archie Mitchell, I loved you so much I sat back whilst you had mistress after mistress and I just accepted it. But I promise you something I never went anywhere near another man in all the years we were married" Glenda cried, trying to suppress her voice when she noticed the guard was looking over once again.

"Mum he's just trying to get a reaction out of you, he isn't worth it" Roxy assured rubbing Glenda's hand, shooting an angry look at Archie. "You're pathetic you know that?"

"Why don't you just get on with what you came here for?" Archie asked, preparing himself for their questions.

***

"You freaked me out yesterday" Danielle admitted, a sad look in her eyes as she sat and watched Ronnie moving around, cleaning up as if nothing earlier had happened.

"Because I told you how I felt?" Ronnie asked, stopping momentarily to look over at her daughter. There was nothing she could do now about her confessions, she wouldn't want to either, it was about time Danielle knew that she wasn't alone.

"I always thought I was weak and you were strong, I always felt so inferior because you could cope and I couldn't." Danielle explained, it was strange that Ronnie's confession had put them on a far more even playing-field. Viewing Ronnie as a God for all those months had done nothing but create a gaping chasm between them.

"I think you cope better than me sometimes, you confront things, I just shut them away and let them destroy me." Ronnie smiled, sitting down next to Danielle, they were completely unaware they were doing it but their actions completely matched- the way they held their hands, the same posture and the same little sigh as they stared out blankly.

"It wasn't bad..." Danielle started, Ronnie looked round and tried to pick up on what Danielle was talking about. "The session"

"You don't have to talk about it. Honestly, you were right to get angry with me earlier, what you talk about in your sessions is private and it should stay that way. I have no right to demand you tell me anything" Ronnie insisted, she felt so guilty about how she'd pushed Danielle earlier as much as she wanted to know what had happened it was a decision Danielle had to make.

"You're allowed to be pushy. You are my mum" Danielle grinned, knowing that Ronnie's heart lept the same way hers did when she said that word 'mum'.

"Yeah I am" Ronnie replied, kissing the top of Danielle's head she wasn't sure if she'd ever comprehended just how amazing it would be being with her child, how even the tiniest smile made everything so much better. Nothing could spoil this moment could it?

"You missed a spot!" Danielle laughed pointing to the duster that sat where Ronnie had left it, the shelf half dusted, half coated in a thin layer of furry grey. Ronnie stood up and walked over to the duster immediately flinging it in Danielle's direction. Laughing Danielle tried to throw it back but it fell pathetically to the floor, swinging downwards she reached for it and grabbed it, noticing the white envelope and letter that had been stuffed under the sofa. She pulled it up along with the duster and looked at the letter briefly before trying to hide it.

"What is that?" Ronnie asked looking slightly bemused by Danielle's desperation to hide her findings.

"Oh nothing much" Danielle lied, she felt her face flush red and she knew that Ronnie could see straight through her. As Ronnie approached Danielle had little choice but to hand over the envelope.

Ronnie held the letter in her hand and scanned it first before re-reading it properly. Taking in each and every word she felt unbelievably sick. Looking up at Danielle she wondered whether she had known anything about it, though she could see the obvious surprise in her daughters expression and realised she was just as clueless as she was.

"I hope we have some good food in! Seriously i'm starving!" Rebecca announced strolling into the living room, only stopping when she saw the looks on Ronnie and Danielle's faces.

"Did you know anything about this?" Ronnie asked thrusting the letter in Rebecca's direction, confused Rebecca took the letter and began to read.

_Glenda, _

_I must admit you're the last person I expected to hear from, in fact I can't say it's a great pleasure to have to endure your fatuous scribbles. The only reason I will see you is because you'll be bringing my princess with you, alone I wouldn't have even given you a minutes attention. You say you want answers, I can promise you nothing but I guess your visit will break up the endless monotony of my day._

_Till then._

_Archie_

**Right first of all I want to say an absolutely massive thank you for the reviews I got for the last chapter, I was completely taken back by the response and incredibly grateful to everyone that enjoyed it. A mega thank you to Adia Rose, she keeps me on track and she keeps me writing by encouraging me. When I feel like giving up she's the one telling me to just write, I couldn't ask for a better support. I'm so grateful to everyone that reads this, it means a lot. I'll stop rambling now shall I? :D**


	69. Solidarity

"_Right so basically you just look through this list and anyone you like the look of you click the mouse button and put a tick in the box ok?" Rebecca explained, showing her mother the basics of the dating website she'd found for her. Glenda gave a fake smile, truely she could think of nothing worse and was actually a little offended Rebecca thought Glenda needed a man! All the same she sat down and scrolled through the little pictures, looking at men who were gorgeous, men who from their profiles sounded intelligent and interesting and men who were quite frankly a little weird but none took her fancy. None made her heart beat so fast she thought it would explode from her chest... No, only one man had ever had that effect on her and he was the worst thing that had ever happened to her... The sad thing was he was also the best._

"What?! Do you seriously think I would be encouraging them to go and see him? After what he did to me? After what he did to you?" Rebecca asked astonished, shoving the letter back in Ronnie's direction.

"Why would they do this? Why would they want to see him?" Ronnie asked completely oblivious to Bec's anger, simply lost in her own annoyance and confusion.

"Mum please calm down we can ask them about it when they get back, sit down and talk there's no need to freak out about it he's in prison he can't hurt them" Danielle insisted, her gentle voice was trying its hardest to soothe Ronnie but it seemed as if nothing could relax Ronnie when it came to Archie.

"He can't hurt them but he can get to them, manipulate them just like he did to you. That man is poison and the minute they get infected it will take over them." Ronnie panicked

Danielle flinched at the memory of Archie's manipulation, the way her look at the world this whole other way, made her see situations where he was the good guy simply misunderstood. His words would echo around your head, flood your mind and not allow for independent thought. Danielle understood exactly why Ronnie was worrying, she was terrified she would lose her family, that the walls would begin to fall around her that Archie would win again and take away anyone that meant anything to her. It was yet another moment where she saw the vulnerability of her mother, saw the fragility of the woman standing before her and more importantly it was a moment where she understood just how much she loved her, how she wanted to look after her and never leave her alone.

"He won't get to them. He shattered the hold he had over them a long time ago." Rebecca insisted, deep down though she didn't have that faith.

It had occurred to her a number of times, a thought that wouldn't quite go away, that Glenda had never truely gotten over Archie. Though she was terrified of him, had run away from him and taken her baby away from him she had never stopped loving him. He was her drug, her addiction, she had never found another love, relationships had been incredibly infrequent and none had turned into long term commitments. The most painful reminder that Glenda wasn't over Archie Mitchell was the fact that she was still wearing her wedding ring, nineteen years on it had never left her finger. Watching the panicked Ronnie run her hands through her hair she cursed the tension that just the mention of Archie Mitchell could cause, Ronnie was angry and stressed, Danielle looked concerned and scared and Rebecca felt... She didn't know how she felt, she just couldn't understand how her mother could see in the same room as the man who had tried to kill her daughter.

***

"This isn't you dad... This person, this tough guy giving attitude. In fact the whole situation isn't you, trying to kill Ronnie, getting yourself sent to prison it's sloppy dad. I thought you had so much more class" Roxy berated her father, she had this bizarre sense of power over him it was like the day he'd come to the Vic when she'd rejected him and thrown his suitcase out the window, she wasn't his little girl anymore.

"Archie, please I just need to know why. Why did you want to hurt our girls so much, you loved those girls, adored them when they were little. When I left them with you I always thought they'd be ok because despite everything they were your life and you would never hurt them" Glenda begged, she was trying to break down Archie's steely exterior but it was as if he'd put up this guard in prison to protect himself and he couldn't let it down.

All Roxy could keep thinking was how familiar this front was, because it was the one she'd seen on Ronnie. Terrifying when she saw the similarities between them, her dad was in lockdown. He was so closed off he wasn't even playing the part of Mr. Smooth.

"They grew up Glen... They stopped being little girls" Archie muttered simply, shaking his head.

"We couldn't stay your little girls forever dad, we had to grow up" Roxy explained, gulping she was trying to hold in her tears, gripping Glenda's hand under the table for support. He looked sad and alone and Roxy's heart ached.

"First Ronnie getting pregnant, can you imagine what that's like for a dad, to see his little girl as this whole other person. I just wanted to make things better, to protect her, I thought I was doing what was right for her by making her give that baby away. I thought I was giving that child a better life." Archie insisted, he almost looked like the caring father, he almost looked upset by what he'd done.

"You told her, her baby had died Arch. That's unforgivable" Glenda spat, she was furious not just with Archie but with herself for leaving her daughter and leaving her open to that pain and anguish. She should have been there supporting her little girl and making everything better.

"What would you have done Glen? Nearly twenty years on she was still obsessed with the idea of her baby, still completely messed up. I just wanted to end it, finally let her grieve and move on. You think I liked seeing my daughter that messed up?" Archie asked, he'd become so confused in his web of lies he even believed his own words.

"Didn't you think that there would be a day when her baby came along and turned up on her doorstep?" Roxy questioned, there were flaws in Archie's words, a plan that wasn't viable, that had gaping holes, this didn't seem like her dad.

"I thought I could deal with it if it ever happened" Archie admitted, the haunting memory of the day he realised exactly who Danielle was shaking him.

"Yeah you dealt with it... You nearly ended any chance Ronnie and Danielle had of being together. If Rebecca hadn't found Danielle again, hadn't met up with her by chance..." Roxy mused, they would still think Danielle was dead.

"Rebecca..." Archie began, enunciating the name slowly as he thought about his third daughter, the one he didn't know. "I take it your helping her with her problem, i'm guessing it was caused by what I did"

Roxy was almost moved by the look of concern on Archie's face, did he feel guilty about what had happened? Before it dawned on her in a sickening and painful flash that Archie knew all about Rebecca and the drugs, how?

"How do you know about Bec's problems?" Roxy snapped suddenly, a growing feeling of unrest stirring up inside her. Archie knew what was going on on the outside.

"Word gets around" Archie dismissed casually as he realised he'd exposed himself and his plans with this simple slip.

"Janine" Roxy uttered, the name conjuring up an intense feeling of hatred.

"Who's Janine?" Glenda interrupted, confused as to exactly what Roxy was working out. She knew it wasn't good, she knew this Janine wasn't good.

"Dads little witch of a friend! The girl that supplied Bec with drugs! That had something to do with you didn't it?... Oh my god that was all you!" Roxy realised feeling sick as she finally understood why Janine had taken such a keen interest in Rebecca, why she'd taken in and why she'd pushed drugs onto her. Janine was under strict instructions... Roxy understood that now

"Roxy you've got it all wrong" Archie tried to defend himself but even his attempt was weak, he knew he'd been defeated and there was little point in trying to change Roxy's mind.

"No I haven't... You're pure evil and I can't believe I needed to come here to confirm it. I hope you rot in here." Roxy stood up throwing her arms up into the air grabbing the attention of most of the prisoners, Roxy changed her mind from earlier... She was glad she was wearing a short skirt, especially if it meant that these guys took notice of her.

"You hear that boys! My dad is evil and if any of you feel like making him pay for all the hurt he's caused me and my sisters then please do... I'll be eternally grateful!" Roxy said that last part with a seductive look on her face, she relished in the cheer from the other men sat at their tables and the way that Archie squirmed. As expected a security guard promptly removed Roxy from the premises, Glenda following behind looking embarrassed giving one last look at Archie before she turned away.

***

"Mum... Mum please look at me" Danielle insisted, taking Ronnie's head in her hands she pressed her own forehead against Ronnie's and looked into her eyes. "Everything is going to be ok I promise you"

Ronnie wished she could believe Danielle but she just couldn't believe where her father was concerned that anything would ever be ok... However she took comfort in her daughters touch and slowly something began to creep in... That hope that the fact that she and her daughter had a relationship, that they were together right now proved Archie could never really win and slowly she started to breathe again.

***

Janine was dancing around her flat to the radio, moving around the mess that she was surrounded by, she had hardly cleaned the place in weeks. Terrance looked up at Janine mournfully but Janine simply rolled her eyes and continued dancing until she heard the doorbell ring. Opening the door, she took a step back when she saw Roxy standing in front of her.

"Oh god not again" she complained, fearing what was to come next, the look in Roxy's eyes was almost identical to the looks Ronnie and Danielle had given her.

"You ain't seen nothing yet sweetheart" Roxy purred, stepping inside and letting the door slam behind her.


	70. You Don't Care About Us

"You didn't take very long, it can't have been a very good conversation" Glenda pointed out as Roxy rejoined her mother and the pair began to walk home, Roxy had requested that Glenda wait whilst she had a little chat with Janine but it was less that ten minutes before Roxy re-emerged. Glenda failed to notice Roxy flexing her reddened knuckles.

"I think I got my point across" Roxy smiled with a teasing smile, she wasn't about to tell her mother exactly what had happened in Janine's flat but she was pretty sure she'd taught Janine a lesson she wouldn't forget in a hurry.

"Good, that girl can't think that Archie will do her any favours in return for her actions, I would have gone in there myself and had a word with her" Glenda complained, Roxy almost found it hilarious.

"Don't worry mum she got the message loud and clear" Roxy promised, containing a giggle. Visiting Janine had cheered her up after what had been an awful day, painful and distressing. It marked the day her father had truely become dead to her.

Roxy turned her key in the lock and made her way into the house, smiling as she saw Ronnie approaching but her expression quickly changing as she realised that Ronnie wasn't so much approaching as charging. Pushing Roxy against the wall Ronnie could barely contain the rage that was building up inside her. Ronnie had been drinking since the moment she'd found the letter and now almost an hour later she was more than a little drunk and more than a little angry

"Nice to see you too Ron..." Roxy gasped, trying to wriggle free from Ronnie's grip.

"How could you? How could you go anywhere near him?!" Ronnie spat, the smell of alcohol lingering on her breath. She forced all her strength against Roxy, stopping Roxy from being able to move at all.

"Ronnie... Ronnie it's not what you think!" Roxy begged, wide eyed she realised that somehow Ronnie must have found out. Surely Ronnie couldn't believe that Roxy would have taken Archie's side though? That was impossible wasn't it?

"I don't even care anymore! You want to be daddy's little girl fine but you won't do so in my house!" Ronnie screamed, she wasn't thinking rationally all she could think was that Archie was now had a doorway back into all their lives.

"Ronnie you don't understand, I wanted to make sure he was suffering in there! I needed answers you can't resent me for that!" Roxy defended herself desperately trying to calm her sister but knowing how difficult it would be, once Ronnie was angry it would be difficult to bring her back down.

"I'm not stupid Rox I know exactly the effect he has on you..." Ronnie growled before turning to her mother "and you! What are you so sad, lonely and desperate for a man that you'd go crawling back to him?"

"Ronnie thats not fair" Rebecca defended, as upset as she'd been about everything that didn't stop her wanting to protect her mum.

"Look at her she's pathetic, still wearing her wedding ring!" Ronnie snapped

"Ronnie calm down! This is stupid" Rebecca moaned trying to pull Ronnie off of Roxy but just recieving a slap in the face for her efforts. Holding her cheek she backed off whilst Ronnie turned to look at her.

"He tried to kill you and they go and visit him and give him sympathy, can you really stand there looking at them?" Ronnie asked, completely ignoring the fact that she'd hit Bec.

"Ronnie your acting like an idiot! Come on!" Roxy begged, trying to wrap an arm around her sister but Ronnie simply shrugged her off and moved away.

"This isn't stupid I have had my entire life ripped apart because of that man more than once, I won't have it, you can just get out the three of you can get out!" Ronnie screamed, leaving the hallway she slammed the door.

Danielle stood not quite knowing what to say or how to defend her mothers actions. She shifted uncomfortably as she watched Glenda touch at Bec's glowing cheek. In the end it was Roxy who made the deciding move.

"Right we'll be off then, sorry to leave you with her Dan but if we stick around it will make it worse" Roxy sighed heading towards the front door. "At least Amy's with Jack, don't have to worry about venturing back in there to grab her stuff"

"Roxy don't go please i'll calm her down I promise" Danielle begged.

"I'll call you later babe" Roxy smiled. Glenda smiled and kissed Danielle's cheek before following Roxy out the door and Rebecca turned around fighting the desire to want to go and make sure Ronnie was ok and was the one who shut the front door leaving Danielle standing alone. Nervously she creeped towards the living room, not knowing how she was going to tackle Ronnie.

"You can't do this mum, you can't push them all away because you're scared of him. You're playing right into his hands, giving him exactly what he wants." Danielle insisted as she walked across the living room and sitting herself on the floor next to her mother.

"They're all on his side, he even got to you! He will always be there, even behind bars, he will always be trying to destroy me." Ronnie raged, Danielle didn't know what to do Ronnie was just so upset it.

"Please don't talk about..." Danielle began, she didn't want to mention Archie or even think about that time she spent with him. She felt this mixture of guilt and sadness at how he had manipulated her.

"What? That time, the time you spent with him?" Ronnie interrupted, she wanted to know everything that Archie had said to her, find out every single detail because right now she felt like everything was slipping away because of that man.

"Just forget it ok? Now i'm sure if I call Roxy she'll come straight back..." Danielle started, she wanted to make everything better and repair her family. Keep them together before it was too late.

"No! I don't want to see Roxy, or mum or Bec I just want you! Talk to me about when he found out about you, talk to me about those weeks you spent with him when I thought you were dead! Please baby, I need to know what he said to you, the lies he told you." Ronnie begged, she wanted to hear everything that had happened, make sure that even the slightest remnants of Archie's lies didn't still exist in Danielle's mind. The more she thought about everything, Danielle's anger, her self-harming, could there be a connection?

"Look you don't care about any of that you're just drunk and angry, how about I get you a glass of water and put you to bed. We'll sort all the mess out tomorrow, i'm sure Peggy will take the girls in for tonight." Danielle soothed, it was as if the roles had been reversed here was Danielle acting like the mother and Ronnie the demanding, exasperating child.

"Will you stop avoiding the question, I want to know how he found out before I did! How is this something you've never told me?" Ronnie panicked, was there a deeper reason that Danielle had avoided all of this, what had Archie said it wasn't a case of wanting to know she needed to know.

"Because we've always had something more important to talk about, all that stuff is insignificant, it's in the past, Archie lied to me thats all there is to say." Danielle dismissed, she wished Ronnie would stop pushing.

"How did he find out who you were? He knew for what? A couple of weeks before the wedding?" Ronnie wondered, answers she'd never found out, she just had this shaky outline of the details with nothing filled in.

"Something like that... He found my locket ok, simple as that" Danielle sighed, the memory of that night flashing back to her, haunting her as she realised just how naive she'd been.

"_Where did you get this?" Archie snapped, the locket in his hands it was so instantly recognisable he was sure it was Ronnie's. "Give it to me its mine!" Danielle panicked, she couldn't let him look inside... Or could she? Could this be the opportunity to end it all? "No, no I don't think so. It's my daughters, its Ronnie's and i've caught you stealing it! How about I call the police hey? Get em on the line right now..." Archie threatened, this girl was obviously obsessed with his Veronica. "It's not hers, it's not! It's mine!" Danielle insisted she was terrified, here was Archie threatening her, holding in his hands her secret. "Ok... so what's inside it? Hey? What's in it?" Archie asked, his voice mocking her because he knew what was inside it. It was a picture of Ronnie's baby. "A picture... a picture of my mum" Danielle answered, whatever Archie decided to do now would decide everything, if he gave her the locket back then she walked away undiscovered, if he opened the locket then he'd know, he'd know exactly who she was. "Heh your mum! Ok well lets have a look shall we?" Archie laughed, clicking open the locket his whole world suddenly froze when he saw not his grandchild looking back at him but Veronica, fourteen year old Veronica and when he looked up at Danielle it suddenly became clear... Danielle was Amy, Ronnie's Amy._

"Was he mean to you? Did he upset you? Did he hurt you?" Ronnie reeled off questions and Danielle just shook her head in answer to each one. He hadn't done any of those things, they'd have been too obvious, instead Archie had been the warm and loving grandfather she's wanted and desired she had been completely blind to the fact he was lying to her and even worse plotting to kill her.

"No, what he did was worse, what he did was make me believe that you knew about me and you still didn't want me" Danielle explained with a sad look in her eyes as she remembered that pain, that confusion.

"_If you could have known her back then, just known what she was like" he mused looking through the mementoes he'd pulled from his wallet. "Well tell me..." Danielle said, she was trying to make it seem like she wasn't begging him but she wanted to know so badly. "Veronica was always.... So special. I mean I know dads always say that about their daughters but right from the day she was born and I watched her, fascinated... You could never work out what she was thinking, but I tried... And sometimes I tried too hard I was my own worse enemy... In the end I was her worst enemy. But i'm close to her again, I can't lose that, not now and neither can you. Look how close you are to her now" Archie soothed, if he wasn't so deep in lies what he was saying could have been touching but even Archie didn't know when he was putting on a show anymore. "It doesn't feel very close to me!" Danielle interrupted, rolling her eyes as she held onto some of Archie's mementos. "But I can still talk to her, when she's had a chance to take it all in. But right now she'll be reeling, she'll do what she always does and slam the shutters down. If you go marching over there, yelling the odds she'll just close them down tighter." Archie warned. "Maybe things will change" Danielle said clutching onto that last bit of hope she had left inside her. "You've tried it your way and look where that got us... Hmm? Lets try mine now." Archie insisted._

"But you stayed anyway? He told you I didn't want you and you still stayed?" Ronnie asked Danielle either had an unwavering faith in her or she wanted to stay around to punish her, the latter was probably true it would certainly account for the events at the wedding.

"He told me you were ill... Depressed, on medication, that telling you would push you over the edge, thats why I didn't tell you the minute he found out." Danielle explained.

"The night I was with dad, I went to the club and when I came back you were there... That was the night he found out wasn't it?" Ronnie questioned, immediately remembering the torrent of abuse she's hurled at her it was yet another regret she'd have to live with.

"Yeah... Then the night before the wedding he handed me a wad of cash and told me it was from you, that you wanted me to leave" Danielle remembered, she felt her eyes watering at the memory, tears welling up desperately wanting to force themselves from her eyes.

Ronnie's heartbeat faster as she imagined how much Danielle must have hurt thinking that was the truth. It made sense why it had been so difficult for them to connect because Danielle was living with these memories, thoughts and feelings.

"After the wedding, those weeks you spent with him. How could you forgive him? I never understood that, you must have known everything he'd said to you before was a lie?" Ronnie questioned

"He kept me sedated for a while, so when I woke up everything just seemed like a dream, fuzzy and unreal... I thought I was dead until I saw him sat there by my side. He was all I had, he was the only person there and I just listened to him. He would tell me how everything was going to be ok, that we were going to be a family, that I would help him get back everything he'd lost. He looked after me and I started trusting him again I know I shouldn't but he apologised and explained everything, he always had a way of making everything better" Danielle said shaking her hand, remembering the other times that Archie had used words to make everything so simple and so clear when in fact it was anything but.

"_You can trust me, i'm family, your family, real family. You're a Mitchell girl now, a Mitchell that's something to be proud of and i'm going to be proud, very proud of you. The most beautiful granddaughter a man ever had... Pretty, pretty, pretty girl, those beautiful eyes, lovely face, it's just like looking at your mum when she was your age... A picture" Archie smiled, stroking Danielle's hair she felt safe for the first time in ages, it was upsetting knowing that now would not be the time to tell Ronnie everything, so upsetting she began to cry but Archie was there to wipe away her tears. "Hey, no need to cry anymore granddads here, he'll take care of you, no need to be lonely anymore... All you gotta do is keep shhtum. Can you do that for me? Can you wait? Ey? Can you wait till i've talked to her? Picked the right moment to break the news?" Archie asked, so gently she was hanging off his every word. "I've waited so long" Danielle sobbed "Yeah... Well just wait a little bit longer... For her, for your mum."_

"But you ran away from him, everything can't have been alright because you ran away. When Bec found you you weren't with him." Ronnie asked, all these strands just didn't make sense.

"He told me that everyone thought I was dead, they had all grieved for me, had a funeral. He told me it had all been a big mistake, the hospital had made a big mistake but by the time he'd realised it was too late and he couldn't tell you because you wouldn't have believed him, he said that once I was better we would go and tell you together. But the day I ran away... That was the day I discovered he's set it all up, he'd lied to me again so I went, I stole money from him and I left and that's when I became Amy soon after that was when Bec found me." Danielle detailed.

"But you still let him into our lives afterwards... After you were back with me you still let him in. If you didn't trust him or believe him then why would you do that?" Ronnie asked, the part that still confused her

"He kept phoning me, begging me to believe that what he did was for the best. He sounded so lost and alone. I don't know I was so messed up I thought I could make everything better. I screwed up I know that!" Danielle snapped.

"I'm not blaming you... I blame him for everything." Ronnie insisted

"He would tell me how messed up you were, he said you weren't stable and I didn't know how to cope with that. I thought I needed him to help make you better, he seemed to know how to handle you." Danielle admitted, looking at her mother and her actions tonight it was easy to see how Archie's words could be so easily believed.

"I am messed up" Ronnie smiled "but i'm not ill, you know that right?|

"The way you snapped earlier, screaming at Roxy, the things you said to Nan and you hit Bec. I don't think you admit to your problems, you just sweep them all under the carpet." Danielle confessed, she just couldn't shake Archie's words.

"_Listen to me darling i'm your grandfather I care about you. All I want is what's best for you ok? Now i'm going to tell you something, something thats strictly between you and me ok? No one else must know, no one. Ronnie's... Ronnie's had some psychological problems, an illness you might say" Archie convinced gently, he seemed so sincere was it any surprise that Danielle fell for it hook, line and sinker? "An illness?" She asked nervously, fear creeping into her voice. "A mental illness... she's a depressive, on medication, under treatment she's very unstable..." The lies continued to roll._

"I was drunk, angry... Baby i'm fine, i'm strong." Ronnie insisted. "They made their choice but it's ok because it's just you and me now, that's all I need."

Danielle sighed but decided not to argue with Ronnie, not tonight anyway. Leaving her she made her way to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water for Ronnie she leant against the counter slightly, closing her eyes all she could see was Archie and all she could think about was everything that had happened.

"_No! Look please I didn't mean... I'm just upset that's all. I don't know what i'm saying. I don't want to lose you to i've lost everybody else. Look I don't know what i'm doing anymore" Danielle begged, she was so confused her mind was all over the place. "You're not thinking straight, you need somebody to do your thinking for you and who better than the one person you can count on, your old granddad" Archie insisted, stroking her face and making everything better._

Pulling open the kitchen drawer she stared for a moment, slightly lost before jolting herself back into reality and rushing back into the room where Ronnie had now pulled herself up onto the sofa.

"I need to sleep with you tonight" Danielle insisted a scared and worried look in her eyes, she was shaking slightly.

"Why baby?" Ronnie asked, was she worried about her? Surely Danielle knew that she would be alright, she'd just had a bit too much to drink.

But it wasn't Ronnie Danielle was worried about.

"Because i'm scared that if i'm alone tonight then i'll hurt myself" Danielle confessed, talking about the bad times had plunged her into self loathing and all she wanted was that release, she needed someone to help her. "Please you have to stop me mum" her whole body was shaking now as she began to sob. Ronnie quickly rushed to her daughter and enveloped her in her arms, whispering that everything was going to be alright. It was here, holding her little girl that Ronnie had a sudden thought, Archie had found a way to get to her family, without doing a thing he'd split them apart and sent them to the edge.

"_You can trust me... Granddad knows best."_


	71. No Sleep Tonight

Ronnie tossed and turned, she hadn't slept a wink she'd just watched Danielle as she slept, watching the rise and fall of her chest with each and every breath she watched completely amazed at this person, this person that she'd created. She wished that she could just sit back and appreciate this moment but she was struck with three things... Firstly the fact that the reason she wasn't sleeping was because she was too scared to close her eyes incase Danielle woke up and hurt herself, secondly was the alcohol in her system, the effect of which was rapidly wearing off leaving her feeling sick and thirdly was Archie, the thoughts of him racing around her head.

_It's me... It's me... He's playing me, even behind bars he's playing me, lighting the fuse I bet he can hear the explosion all the way from his prison cell. _Ronnie thought, rubbing at her eyes and trying to fight the intense weight of her eyelids.

***

Roxy rolled over in bed, it was strange seeing a empty space next to her, she was so used to sleeping with Ronnie. She almost missed the snoring and the way she'd kick her in her sleep. Thinking of Ronnie wasn't good, if Ronnie knew where she was now she'd jump to the wrong conclusion and be furious, but it wasn't her fault...

"_I was then coming over to bring back Amy, i'm not late am I?" Jack asked, looking confused as he opened the door to see Roxy standing in front of him looking more than a little annoyed. "No you're not late at all, can I come in?" Roxy asked, pushing past Jack before he'd even had a chance to answer. "You alright hanging onto Amy tonight? We're currently homeless so I reckon she's better here" Roxy sighed slumping down into Jack's settee. "What do you mean homeless?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow. "Oh Ronnie's kicked me out, well not just me, mum and Bec as well." Roxy grunted. "What have you done now?" Jack asked looking slightly bemused. "Why do you assume it's something i've done!" Roxy gasped, Jack didn't even need to answer all it took was another eyebrow raise. "Jack seriously she'd overreacting!" Roxy insisted, grabbing a half eaten bar of chocolate from the side and shoving it in her mouth. "Oy that was mine!" Jack laughed. "Seriously Jack i'm the distressed one here!" Roxy mumbled through a mouth full of chocolate. "Where are you lot staying then?" Jack asked, picking Amy up from her play-mat and holding her close to his chest. "We're going to cram into the Vic in spectacular sardine fashion" Roxy sighed, smiling as she watched Amy gurgle in delight at being close to her father. "Forget it you're staying here, you can take the bedroom and i'll sleep on the sofa" Jack insisted, he knew what people would think but frankly he didn't care anymore. "Jack..." Roxy started there were a whole list of reasons why she shouldn't be staying here. "No i'm serious Rox, it's not fair you having to be apart from Amy, if you stay here then you're together. Ronnie will just have to deal with it." Jack smiled passing Amy over to Roxy._

Roxy grabbed for her phone and pressed the menu key lighting up the screen, the picture she used as her wallpaper always made her laugh because it was Ronnie wearing the ridiculous tutu she'd worn for Peggy's hens party cuddling a terrified looking Amy. It reminded Roxy of how much family meant, how good things could be. This little family unit was safe and it couldn't fall apart because of a stupid misunderstanding.

***

Rebecca couldn't sleep, it didn't help that her mother was snoring like a warthog next to her or that she was in an unfamiliar bed. Add to all that she was worrying like crazy over Ronnie and it wouldn't surprise if she didn't get a wink all night. She couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened, there was so much going on and she was starting to worry if there was going to be a way back for them as a family. Earlier when she had gotten that text from Roxy to explain that she was staying at Jack's, all she had done was think of all the problems it could potentially cause.

"_Jack... He's Amy's dad, hmm darling! Could we have romance in the air?" Glenda smiled nudging her youngest daughter whilst Rebecca and Peggy just looked at each other with shared concerned glances._

Rebecca made her way to the kitchen and got herself a glass of juice, sitting down at the table she soon got a big shock when she saw a dark figure standing in the doorway. She was relieved when the light was flicked on to reveal Ben who made his way over to the table grabbing the carton of juice and pouring himself a glass.

"What are you doing up squirt?" Rebecca whispered, smiling at Ben as he gave a little yawn.

"I was feeling thirsty and I couldn't sleep." Ben explained. "What about you?"

"Same" Rebecca admitted "Got any biscuits around here?"

"In the top cupboard, hidden behind those cups, Gran hides them because otherwise dad eats them all." Ben laughed, pulling his chair over to the side and standing on it to reach for the biscuits. Getting the packet down he thrust it in Rebecca's direction and she gratefully took one from the pack.

"Thanks for this" Rebecca smiled pointing to the biscuit. Ben nodded as he took one for himself.

***

Danielle woke up and saw that Ronnie had fallen asleep, she giggled at Ronnie's soft snore and reached out to gently stroke her mothers face. She was almost certain that Ronnie smiled in her sleep as Danielle's fingers gently traced Ronnie's cheekbone.

"Dad..." Ronnie grunted in her sleep, suddenly looking more distressed, her face scrunched up as she fought a nightmare.

Danielle shuddered, pulling herself up in bed she was now sitting on the edge. Why couldn't Archie just go away, it would be so much easier to not have to watch Ronnie thinking about him. Standing up she walked out of the room, wandering for a bit, hating the emptiness of the house and how lonely it felt before finally making her way into Ronnie's actual bedroom the one where Glenda had been staying. Glenda's stuff was littered around the place, like Roxy and Rebecca she was messy and disorganised the polar opposite to Danielle and Ronnie who were complete neat freaks. Opening up the one of the drawers she began to hunt through it, she wasn't sure what she was looking for she was just looking. Her hands gliding over Ronnie's possessions, feeling them close to her she stopped as she reached a small pile of cards that had been shoved towards the back of the drawer.

_Happy Birthday big sis! I know this year is going to be special for you, I know all your dreams have already come true... You'll have to think of a different wish when you blow out your candles!! Love you babes, Rox xxxxx_

_Dear Ronnie, Happy Birthday darling, all our love and kisses Peggy, Phil and Ben xxx_

_Happy Birthday Ron! Love loads Billy, Janet, William and Jay x_

Danielle stopped, she couldn't read anymore because she'd just realised something. Looking up at the calender she saw the date, it was the 27th of July and Ronnie's birthday had been on the 7th... How could she have completely missed it? What was she doing that was so important she would have missed Ronnie's birthday, she couldn't remember a cake or a party, she couldn't work out how the even had been glossed over. She racked her brain trying to work out what had happened and then it hit her... the 7th of July... Ronnie had found her in the house on the 6th it was the night she'd broken down and Ronnie had spent the entire night holding her child, the 7th, Ronnie's birthday was spent looking after Danielle worrying about her. No-one had even mentioned celebrating because that just wasn't Ronnie's priority. Ronnie's birthday had passed with a bunch of cards shoved into the back of a drawer.

Making her way to the bathroom Danielle stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself, embarrassed and upset she couldn't stop staring at her own refection. She was ruining everything. She couldn't shout or scream or stop this feeling, she just wanted it gone and she was going to use the only way she knew how. Opening the cabinet she hunted inside, raiding the shelves for what had been carefully hidden. Closing the cabinet she almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Ronnie's reflection in the mirror.

"Do you really want to?" Ronnie asked, leaning against the door frame she wasn't going to charge in and get angry. Instead she looked at Danielle with inquisitive eyes, trying to figure her out.

"No" Danielle said inhaling deeply and dropping the blade into the sink, the clink of the metal hitting against the plug hole sent shivers down Ronnie's spine but she ignored that feeling and instead took Danielle's hand.

"Ok lets talk about it" Ronnie tried to smile but her stomach was in knots. She was racking her brains trying to remember all these things she'd read on websites, advising parents who had a child who self-harmed. She'd read so much and it had helped because she wasn't the only one that felt helpless, there were hundreds of other parents who thought the same, who wanted their child to stop more than anything but they couldn't because it was their child's release, it was the only way they knew how to deal with what they were feeling. Ronnie had tried shock tactics the day she'd smashed down the bathroom door, now she was approaching it differently, maybe understanding would make it easier to help?

"Mum..." Danielle started, sighing as she pulled herself back into bed, pulling up the covers ignoring the fact that her arms were still itching with desire, aching for release.

"I'm not pushing you i'm just asking what triggered it? Was it what we talked about earlier?" Ronnie asked, pulling herself close to Danielle wanting her to feel safe and secure with her.

"That and... There are lots of things they don't matter" Danielle dismissed, she just couldn't explain this addiction, she didn't know how to tell Ronnie that it was like a substance, just like Bec with the drugs it was like her body needed it, like nothing would be right until that euphoric feeling of blade against skin.

"It all matters, I know you want to stop, you wouldn't have asked me to look after you tonight if you didn't" Ronnie smiled, wrapping her arms around Danielle and resting her chin against Danielle's shoulder.

"Why don't I hate him? You hate him, you hate him so much that it seeps out of you, it's obvious but me I don't hate him. Despite everything he's done I just can't." Danielle confessed, the only thing she hated right now was herself for not being strong enough or good enough.

"You don't hate him because you have the purest heart i've ever seen... You forgive because your not twisted and screwed up like me. Do you think hating is a nice feeling? It's not... You forgive and you let go, with other people anyway. If you could just do that with yourself then maybe things could get better" Ronnie explained, cursing herself for getting so worked up about Archie because it had pushed Danielle into thinking that the way she was feeling was wrong

"I'm not a good person...You didn't have a proper birthday because of me" Danielle sighed, she knew it sounded stupid but it was bothering her so much.

"Oh Dan that wasn't worrying you was it...? I just got another year older, trust me when you get to my age that's not something to celebrate" Ronnie laughed, rubbing Danielle's shoulder.

"It should have been special, you made mine special yours should have been too. Instead you were too busy worrying about me" Danielle mumbled, pulling away slightly but feeling Ronnie pull her right back, she wasn't going to break this bond, not now not ever.

"Go back to sleep baby, come on now" Ronnie soothed, stroking Danielle's hair until she heard the reassuring deep breathing. Ronnie wouldn't let herself fall asleep again, not tonight.


	72. Oh My

Ronnie coughed and spluttered wiping away sick from her mouth, resting her burning head against the cool porcelain she rested for a moment, listening to the sound of her heart beating she felt some slight relief. Suddenly aware of hands on her back she turned around to see Danielle pulling her mothers hair back and giving her a reassuring smile.

"Well I hope you've learnt your lesson" Danielle teased, stroking her hand across Ronnie's face instantly comforting her.

"I'm never drinking ever again" Ronnie groaned, leaning into Danielle. "I guess I should hear mum and Roxy out shouldn't I?"

"I know that you were just scared, I hope they know that as well. Suppose Bec had to get her first sisterly slap..." Danielle joked awkwardly watching as Ronnie cringed at the thought.

"They're never going to forgive me are they?" Ronnie sighed, shaking her head regretting drinking so much and regretting behaving the way she did.

"Come on lets get you up, are you done here?" Danielle smiled, placing her hands around to support Ronnie as she tried to stand.

"Yeah... Hang on... No" Ronnie rushed turning back to the toilet as Danielle sighed and stroked back her mothers hair.

***

"Here you go" Jack smiled passing over a steaming mug of tea in Roxy's direction, she accepted it gratefully watching as Jack leaned over Amy, tickling her toes and making her giggle. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment, mum and dad together with baby, there was something so utterly perfect about it.

Jack slumped down on the bed next to Roxy with Amy in his arms, she was reaching out trying to grab hold of Roxy's hair which made Jack laugh. Roxy couldn't help but grin back, sipping at her tea.

"You going to talk to Ronnie today?" Jack asked, pulling faces at Amy and tickling her tummy she looked so utterly content.

"I guess I have to, I need to explain some things to her. She needs to know I didn't go to support dad." Roxy sighed why couldn't Ronnie ever just have faith in her? Why couldn't she ever just believe her?

"She was drunk, she'll have calmed down by now and she'll listen. If you hadn't been so secretive about it you wouldn't have any of this mess." Jack tutted, he'd known Ronnie long enough to know that she just couldn't deal with lies. You needed to be upfront with someone like Ronnie.

"Oh Jack don't judge I thought I could get away with it." Roxy pouted, crossing her arms Jack couldn't help but laugh at her looking like a petulant little child.

"Hey, what's up with your knuckles?" Jack asked pulling up Roxy's arms and examining how red they were. He gave Roxy a concerned glance, stroking his finger over the raised knuckles.

"Got into a little fight yesterday" Roxy giggled, a massive grin spreading across her face at the memory of Janine's horrified face as Roxy finally showed her what Mitchell justice was all about.

"With Ronnie?" Jack worried, he could never hide his concern for the eldest sister.

"No Janine... It was all part of dads little plan, she got Bec hooked on those drugs, I couldn't let her get away with it Jack." Roxy smiled, seeing how Jack's expression changed the minute he heard it was Janine. Now he was smiling back at her, nodding his head in approval.

"Something needs to be done about her" Jack noted, he started formulating a plan in his head, thinking of all the trouble Janine had caused. All the problems at the club, trying to blackmail him, knocking down Danielle and now everything with Bec.

"Like what?" Roxy asked, raising an eyebrow she looked at Jack trying to figure out what was going on in his mind.

"Just leave it to me ok?" Jack promised, tenderly touching her arm with a small smile she felt instantly at ease.

There was Jack offering to protect her family, holding their little girl in his strong arms gazing at her with those gorgeous blue eyes... This couldn't happen, could it?

"_So why you over here and not with lover boy then?" Jack asked pouring a drink. Roxy sat in the office chair glaring at Jack "We ain't joined at the hip" Roxy scowled. "Or maybe you dumped 'im on big sis's orders?" Jack retorted sitting himself down on the desk opposite. "Yeah right" Roxy grunted. "Yeah well it would be like for like wouldn't it? Ronnie... Sean... Both control freaks, manipulators. You don't like being in control do ya? You like people telling you what to do" Jack asked as Roxy shook her head, feet up on the desk all she could think was how pathetic he looked "You are so full of it" Roxy sighed. "You like being told what to do because when the brown stuff hits the fan you got someone else to blame!!" Jack pointed out causing Roxy to get up from her chair and make her way over to Jack. "Nobody! Tells me! What to do! Who to see! or what to do with MY life!" Roxy shouted pushing herself right up into Jack's face. "Well you keep saying that enough and you might just believe it! Because you can't deal with it!" Jack slurred, shouting back at Roxy. "And you can?!" Roxy screamed, crashing her lips into Jack's he pushed her away fiercely taken by surprise. "Nobody pulls my strings! I can do what I like can you?" Roxy spat. Grappling Jack grabbed hold of her before pushing her hard into the office wall and kissing her passionately, ripping at each others clothes they couldn't stop now, they didn't want to stop._

***

"What is it?" Bec asked looking at the tiny toy that Ben was holding in his hand. She tried to grab it off him but Ben pulled it away.

"I think it's supposed to be a car?" Ben replied tipping it upside down and staring at it closely. He'd gotten it inside a box of cereal and as he and Bec munched away they had a small fight over who it belonged to.

"I'm the guest you should give it to me" Bec pointed out making another grab for the small plastic toy.

"It's my cereal" Ben retorted, holding on tightly.

"You don't even know what it is!" Bec laughed lunging across the table.

"Neither do you!" Ben giggled hiding it under the table.

"Do you two have to be this loud this early?" Phil asked groaning, rubbing his head as he searched in the fridge for juice.

"Sorry Phil" Bec smiled, turning her attention back to her cereal.

Ben suddenly turned around hearing a creak on the stairs, Phil and Bec joined them with their stares as all three pairs of eyes suddenly met Ronnie's who stood standing in the kitchen doorway. Smiling nervously her eyes pleaded with Bec and as much as she wanted to tell her to get lost she couldn't help but smile back at her big sister.

"Come on Ben, you can finish that off in front of the TV" Phil grunted nodding at his cousin as he walked off with Ben following behind him.

"Oh good I taped Girls Aloud in concert last night, we can watch that!" Ben exclaimed excitedly

"Great..." Phil frowned, Ronnie laughing as she watched the two of them trudge off.

***

Jack leaned in, not sure at first but then letting himself finally give in to the bubbling sexual tension between them. Softly kissing Roxy he laughed as Amy squealed with excitement.

"Someone approves" Jack smiled, brushing Roxy's hair from her eyes he gazed deeply.

"Jack... You love my sister" Roxy whispered, pulling away stroking Amy's soft hair.

"Me and Ronnie, it's never going to happen... She doesn't want me and I don't want her, we can make a family for Amy, do it right this time because Ronnie has Danielle now, she can cope with us" Jack soothed, gently stroking Roxy's arms.

"If we do this... If... She can't know not yet Jack" Roxy begged, looking into Jack's eyes she was pleading with him because she was just too scared to face Ronnie and tell her this.

"Secrets Rox... That's what messed you two up in the past, I don't want to be responsible for it happening again" Jack groaned, pulling back from Roxy he sat looking grumpy, he didn't want Roxy to be his dirty little secret he wanted a family.

"There's a lot going on right now, a lot of things you don't know... She just doesn't need it ok? But when the time is right... When we know if this is going to work..." Roxy smiled cautiously, she couldn't risk everything for a fling, she had to know this was serious.

"It will... We both want it" Jack smiled leaning in and kissing Roxy once again and this time she responded.

***

"I'm really sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to..." Ronnie started, her hand gently resting on Bec's shoulder, she was relieved she didn't flinch.

"Don't worry about it, I should have known better than to get in the middle of you and Rox." Rebecca started, smiling and letting Ronnie know that she was forgiven.

"Where's mum and Roxy?" Ronnie asked, suddenly reminded that she had two other people to apologise to yet.

"I'm right here darling" Glenda smiled, walking into the kitchen "are you feeling ok?"

"Oh mum i'm sorry what I said to yesterday was completely out of line, I just didn't understand and I was scared and..." Ronnie rushed, desperate to get things back to normal and make everything ok. She couldn't lose her family, they were her supports, her guiding lights.

"Darling please stop that" Glenda interrupted "we should have told you what we were doing. I just needed to face him, get answers" she explained kissing her eldest daughters head.

"Did you get them?" Ronnie asked inquisitively, she wanted every detail of what had happened with Archie, what he'd said, what he'd done.

"He wasn't exactly talkative, Roxy got pretty angry with him, tried to inspire a riot" Glenda chuckled at the thought, covering the fact that she was actually slightly concerned that Archie was going to get hurt.

"Sounds just like Roxy! Where is she, I really need to talk to her..." Ronnie smiled, looking around she was hunting for her sister, the person she really wanted to wrap her arms around the person she wanted to apologise to the most.

Rebecca looked up at her mother not quite knowing what to say. The look they exchanged was unnoticed by Ronnie but Glenda knew things were possibly too fragile to mention where Roxy had spent the night and decided to take control.

"She's collecting Amy from Jack's" Glenda lied, she didn't want to rock the boat.

"Oh ok" Ronnie nodded.

***

"Doesn't daddy look silly!" Roxy laughed pointing at Jack who had a bib on his head, pulling silly faces to amuse Roxy and Amy.

"Doesn't mummy look sillier!" Jack laughed throwing the bib at Roxy, laughing as it hung from Roxy's ear where it had caught.

"This is going to be good... For her" Roxy smiled, reaching out her hand and grabbing hold of Jack's.

"Yeah it is." Jack grinned planting another kiss on Roxy's lips.


	73. Eyelash Wishes

Roxy tried to disguise her massive smile as she left Jack's flat, pushing Amy along she felt this incredible euphoria that only waned when she passed Jean working on the flower stall. Giving her a small smile Jean quickly scurried over and handed over the most beautiful flower to Amy who clutched it gratefully with her chubby little hands. Roxy tried to hide her sadness at this simple action that reminded her that she hadn't just stripped Sean of a daughter but Jean of a granddaughter as well.

"She's getting big" Jean beamed touching at Amy's cheek with her finger, stroking her soft skin and making her giggle with delight.

"She likes her food, can eat for England this one!" Roxy chuckled lightly, bending down to look into her daughters big blue eyes appreciating the intense beauty and innocence that radiated from every inch of her.

"Sean was always a hungry baby, always wanting more... Sorry Roxy..." Jean blushed as she realised what she had said. She searched Roxy's expression for a reaction but got nothing but a small smile as she watched Roxy encourage Amy to wave goodbye. Jean sighed, telling herself she would have been a good grandma if only she'd had the chance.

Talking about Sean, thinking about Sean it was all so pointless. It would achieve nothing, it couldn't and it felt so wrong to be kissing Jack one minute and pining for her husband the next. Jack was her fresh start, he was reliable and dependable he was everything Sean could never be. Leaning down to pick up the toy that Amy had thrown from her pram she was confronted by the only other obstacle in this little fairy-tale her and Jack were constructing. Her sister beaming back at her.

Ronnie with a smile on her face the rarest of sights but also one of the best. There was something about Ronnie being happy made everything seem ok, made everything so much safer. Under normal circumstances she would be playing hard to get with her sister after Ronnie's attack yesterday but the intense guilt and shame of Jack's kisses and promises sent her hurtling into her sisters arms, embracing her in a huge hug.

"I am so sorry about everything Rox, i've been a complete cow" Ronnie smiled, slightly surprised by the ferocity of Roxy's affection. Roxy tensed slightly paranoid that Ronnie could smell Jack on her, or read the expression of guilt on her face but Ronnie seemed oblivious to it all. Taking the pushchair from Roxy, Ronnie pushed her niece back to the house with Roxy trailing behind reminding herself that Ronnie had rejected Jack, she didn't want him and he was Amy's father.

Glenda pulled Roxy aside the minute she entered the house, waiting for Ronnie to disappear off with Amy in her arms pulling at her aunts hair her new favourite activity. Roxy stepped aside with her mother and closed the door.

"She doesn't know where you spent last night, she thinks only Amy stayed with Jack" Glenda explained getting Roxy up to date with the lies she'd told her daughter trying to protect her.

"I guessed as much, figured she'd be shouting at me a lot more if she knew the truth." Roxy sighed, rubbing her face with her hands she tried to stabilise her thinking, she couldn't handle a secret for five minutes she dreaded what the next few weeks were going to feel like.

"Roxy you slept at Jack's you didn't sleep _with _Jack did you?" Glenda asked curiously, she could sense there was something wrong with her daughter, Roxy had had the same guilty look since she was two years old. Somethings never changed.

"I can't even explain what's happening with Jack, i'm so confused mum" Roxy confessed, leaning into her mothers arms needing the comfort of someone to ease her guilt.

"Oh sweetie, lets just keep this underwraps for now. Everything is going to be alright I promise you" Glenda promised kissing her daughters head before the pair made their way into the living room.

"What are you two plotting?" Ronnie asked causing both Glenda and Roxy to jump out their skin relaxing only when they realised that the question was directed at the two giggling teenagers that sat curled up on the sofa.

"Why do we always have to be plotting?" Rebecca asked, laughing at Ronnie's suspicion hiding the piece of paper that Danielle had passed her.

"Ok seriously I saw that!" Ronnie laughed trying to grab at the piece of paper before Bec stuffed it safely into her pocket.

"Right i'm going out, see you guys later!" Bec teased racing out the house stopping only to grab her purse and hoody as she winked at Danielle laughing at Ronnie's mini strop as she tried to figure out what was going on between the pair.

"Stop panicking" Danielle smiled, pulling on Ronnie's arm so that Ronnie was forced into Bec's now vacant seat on the sofa. She sensed Ronnie's worry and she knew that any secrecy was going to get her concerned. She looked deeply into Ronnie's eyes, relaxing her mother with a peaceful smile that started to put Ronnie at ease.

"What's got you looking so happy?" Ronnie asked curiously, brushing back Danielle's hair desperate to keep up with Danielle's ups and downs.

"You'll see! But first I have to go and make a phonecall!' Danielle laughed, kissing Ronnie's cheek she left her mother sat looking confused as she made her way towards the bedroom searching through her phone for the contact she was looking for as she went.

"How's Jack?" Ronnie asked, more to make conversation with her sister than to express an actual show of concern but even she couldn't help but notice how Roxy shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Jack's names. "What's up? He hasn't upset you has he? Seriously he needs talking to!"

"No he's fine Ron, seriously you've been worrying way too much recently, you've heard stress isn't good for you right?" Roxy attempted a small laugh, trying to change the subject as quickly as she could.

"Yeah i'm sure someone mentioned it to me once" Ronnie groaned, rolling her eyes at Roxy.

"Hey Roxy will you come here a minute?" Danielle called from her room, Roxy was relieved at having an excuse to leave the room and gratefully took it.

"Why do I get the feeling everyone's hiding something from me?" Ronnie sighed looking over at Glenda who simply offered a warm smile.

"Because you're paranoid darling" she grinned kissing the top of Ronnie's head.

***

Jack spent the next two days waiting for Roxy to call, he's sent her texts, left her messages but there was nothing. She'd completely cut him dead and he could only assume it had something to do with Ronnie. Hitting the call button one last time all he could to was sigh as he was hung up on yet again. This was the time for action, he needed answers from Roxy and he was going to have to get them face to face.

***

It had been achieved in no time at all but Danielle was determined and with Bec and Roxy's help and more importantly with the help of her mysterious contact everything had finally come together. Danielle stood proudly at the center of the room, smiling as she ran her hands along the package in her hands she knew that this was going to be utterly perfect.

"You sure she doesn't have a clue what's going on?" Danielle asked Bec nervously, smiling as they tidied and arranged the last few things ready for when Ronnie arrived home.

"As perceptive as Ronnie is about most things she truely has no idea about this, come on you've seen that crazy determined look on her face for the past couple of days as she tried to work out what was going on" Bec laughed, rubbing Danielle's arm supportively.

"You don't think this is too cheesy?" Danielle questioned, pointing down at the package.

"Dan there is nothing more perfect" Bec smiled, laughing as Roxy and Glenda finally made their way into the room, Roxy carrying Amy who was dressed in the most outrageous of all baby party outfits.

"Rox... That's scary... You know she's going to hate you one day when she sees these pictures" Danielle giggled, poking at some of the tangerine coloured frills that adorned Amy's dress.

"Aww don't listen to them Amy babes, they're just jealous!" Roxy grumbled covering Amy's ears and sticking out her tongue at her niece.

"Hey I think she's coming!" Bec squealed running back after the living room having been hanging around near the front door looking out for signs of Ronnie's return.

Ronnie made her way into the eerily silent house and began to suspect whether there was more plotting and planning occurring. The last couple of days had all been conducted under a shroud of mystery and Ronnie was starting to get suspicious. Pushing open the living room door she got a massive shock as the girls jumped out and surprised her.

"Happy belated birthday!!" they called, laughing as Ronnie staggered backwards completely taken back by the neatly decorated room, balloons and banners all making up for the darkness of her actual birthday.

"Oh my... Oh! This is what you were planning! Wow! Oh Danni you didn't have to!" Ronnie stuttered throwing her arms around her daughter. Immediately turning and looking at Amy who by this stage was even looking slightly embarrassed by her dress.

"Rox what the hell is that?" Ronnie chuckled, grabbing hold of her tiny niece and hugging her close as Roxy ran off to get the door having heard a loud, thundering knock.

"Jack!" Roxy hissed, closing the front and pushing him away. She checked behind her to make sure no-one had followed "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What a party and I wasn't invited?" Jack asked, craning his neck trying to work out what was going on inside.

"Jack will you stop it!" Roxy snapped, feeling completely on edge knowing that Ronnie was on the other side of that door.

"Rox will you just give me some answers, the other day you were all over me and what nothing since then? No phone calls no texts?" Jack complained reaching out his arm and touching Roxy's. His fingers caressing her, he made her breathing speed up and her heart start to race.

"I just need a bit of space alright, I feel guilty enough with Ronnie" Roxy sighed pulling away from Jack she leant back into the front door.

"You need to make a decision Rox, whether you're going choose Ronnie over your own happiness because I promise you you're not number one priority in her life anymore" Jack warned, walking away he shot her one last longing look.

***

"You might think this is stupid, I don't know I was worrying that maybe it was a little cheesy and it's not like it's big and expensive like all the stuff you got me for my birthday but I just had this stupid idea and I thought it would be ok and now i'm panicking because i'm worried that you won't like it and I really should stop rambling shouldn't I?" Danielle giggled pushing the present in Ronnie's direction. Bec and Glenda had left them alone whilst they share this moment together.

"It might help" Ronnie laughed slowly unwrapping the present, taking off the layers of wrapping she reached what looked like a book. She stroked the front, slowly opening the front page she realised it wasn't a book it was a photo album.

"So dad helped me out, he got all these together and sent them to me. Bec and me spent all afternoon in that photo place making copies, well in between Bec laughing at my many dodgy haircuts" Danielle smiled awkwardly trying to figure out what Ronnie was thinking as she ran her hand across the first page.

The album was filled with pictures of Danielle, Danielle as a baby, toddler, all through school right up until the present day. Danielle had even included any photo that had been taken in these last couple of months. It was like a guide to a life Ronnie so desperately wanted to know every detail of. All those cheeky smiles, all those special moments in her life that had been captured by a camera and now they were all hers to cherish forever.

"_Smile for the camera Danni!" Andy encouraged as his little girl ran round the garden, enjoying the freedom and the heat of the beating sun. On her her fathers command she span around and flashed a huge smile, gaps where she was losing her baby teeth you could just about make out her tongue poking through a space where her bottom front teeth should have been. Snapping away Andy laughed as his normally shy little angel posed for photos before he put the camera down and chased her round the garden, picking her up he span her around so grateful for the day she came into him and Lizzie's lives._

"Oh Dan..." Ronnie gasped, she could find no other words, her mouth just couldn't seem to form them

"It's a bit rubbish I know..." Danielle dismissed, watching as Ronnie seemed to take in every page with the deepest and sincerest loving smile she'd ever seen.

"It's perfect" Ronnie smiled, her eyes welling up with tears as she explored every single adventure that Danielle had been on.

"Really?" Danielle asked nervously, not sure if Ronnie was simply saying what she wanted to hear.

"I've never had anything so amazing in my entire life... Well apart from you." Ronnie beamed, touching her daughters face and then bringing her hand down to the naughty smile of Danielle in primary school.

"It is me... In a way" Danielle laughed, gripping hold of Ronnie's hand she had one less thing to worry about now she'd made amends for Ronnie's birthday.

"I guess that's what makes it so special" Ronnie said holding onto her heart as if it might just burst from her chest at any moment.


	74. Back Down

"Sit down Danielle, how are you feeling today?" Steven asked letting her into his office. Her second session had come around quicker that she would have liked it to but part of her was glad, she felt like she needed to talk. Talk to someone who was impartial and someone who wouldn't be affected by whatever she said or felt.

"Okay..." Danielle sighed, adjusting herself in her chair to get comfortable, she prepared herself for Steven's relentless questioning by making sure her guard was firmly in place, that way she felt like she was in control, that she could control and censor her answers. It was a little trick she'd inherited from her mother.

"How has your week been? Have you felt down at any point?" Steven asked, though it was glaringly obvious the subtext here was 'have you cut yourself?' It was the softly, softly approach that annoyed Danielle most of all. Why couldn't he just come out and say what he thought?

"Want to check for fresh cuts?!" Danielle snapped, her eyes verged on manic as she waited for a reaction from Steven but she got nothing from him but a blank stare before he began talking in that same controlled and calming voice he always used when he was trying to gather information.

"Danielle come on, you're here to talk, so i'm asking you to stop fighting me. If you don't want to speak about what's happened in the last week then why don't we carry on where we left off last week?" Steven soothed, playing it as safe as he could, tip toeing around issues wanting to get Danielle so deep that she let down her guard, just like last week, he was trying to find the release valve.

"I can't remember..." Danielle lied, narrowing her eyes at him as he bent down and picked up his note pad, flicking through he drummed his finger on the page until he found what he was looking for.

"We'd just finished speaking about your abortion..." Steven mentioned consulting his notes much to Danielle's annoyance "what happened after that, how did you feel about Ronnie letting you down?"

"I felt upset?... I don't know. I just went home I thought going back home to Telford would fix everything." Danielle began, her hostility waning slightly as she thought back to what had happened when she'd returned home after the abortion, how she'd felt.

"But it didn't?" Steven prompted.

"It made things worse, I always thought that whatever happened with Ronnie I would still have a home in Telford, I thought I couldn't lose. But everything had changed, it wasn't my home anymore because I wasn't the person who lived that life. I would sit there in my room, surrounded by all my things and I felt like a stranger, an intruder on someone else's life." Danielle explained, in her head she was trying to work out who these two people were. These two versions of herself, she struggled to work out which one was truely her.

"What did your dad say?" Steven asked, Andy was another part of the puzzle that he needed to figure out. Another person in Danielle's life, one who'd had a much greater opportunity to influence her but yet still seemed somewhat insignificant in the wider picture.

"Not a lot, he was so careful about everything didn't want to push me away. We barely talked, barely spent more than ten minutes in the same room. He sensed something was wrong but he didn't know how to talk to me, that had never been his job." Danielle began

_He's really making the effort, but he's also trying to find out why I've been down. He knows I love him, but I just can't hurt him. He'd go crazy if he found out about everything._

"It was always my mum that had given me advice... I couldn't even look at the photos of my mum whilst I was there, I felt guilty and I felt ashamed that I was replacing her with someone that didn't even want me" Danielle admitted, throughout everything she'd always been haunted by the fact that she seemed to be betraying the people that had raised her and loved her. Every time she held on tight to Ronnie she wondered how Lizzie would have felt. For Ronnie it had been easy, she only had one daughter. It was far harder having two mothers and being divided by the love you feel for both of them.

***

Bec was walking across the Square, iPod in blasting out music so loud she couldn't hear that someone was calling her name. She only turned around when she felt a tap on her shoulder and the minute she did turn around she immediately regretted it, taking out her earphones she narrowed her eyes to study the mess in front of her.

"Ow! Woah that looks painful" Bec commented pointing to Janine's face, a broken nose and a black eye that looked like they hurt... A lot.

"Yeah well you can tell your sister she's lucky i'm not pressing charges" Janine spat angrily, touching at her cheek self-consciously as she looked Bec up and down with disgust. She was putting her life back together which annoyed Janine more than anything, it meant that she hadn't been able to take advantage of who she deemed to be the weak link in the chain.

"My sist... Which one?" Bec gasped, stepping back slightly as she realised that Janine's reasons for talking to her might have more to do with revenge than a friendly chat.

"The crazy one!" Janine snapped, throwing her arms up slightly with frustration and anger catching the side of her nose which made her wince in pain much to Bec's amusement.

"Well that could apply to either of them to be honest" Bec sniggered, biting her lip to stop hold herself back from laughing and more than she already was.

"Roxy!' Janine growled angrily, grabbing hold of Bec's arm there was a more sinister about Janine now, she had been humiliated and she needed someone to pay for it.

"Well to be honest you deserved it" Bec retorted pulling her arm away desperate to show Janine that she wasn't the weak link in the family anymore.

"I gave you a home, I was a friend when none of your precious family would talk to you." Janine reminded her, pushing her slightly as she did so.

"You were conspiring with Archie! Pushing drugs on me!" Bec could almost laugh at Janine's self-righteousness.

"I gave you exactly what you were begging me for, you have only one person to blame and that is yourself. So tell your family to keep away from me" Janine snapped finally stopping Bec because she knew that what Janine was saying was true, if she hadn't got drugs from Janine it would have been from someone else.

"Is there a problem here?" Bradley interrupted trying to come between the two tense looking females, which he was starting to fear was a bad idea, as Gumbo watched panting.

"No problem" Janine insisted finally turning and walking away but not without one last threatening glare in Bec's direction that showed she was in no way prepare to forget what had happened any time soon.

"You ok?" Bradley asked the minute that Janine was out of earshot, she scared him

"I'm fine, she's just trying to stir up trouble." Bec sighed running her hands through her hair as she tried to steady the guilt and forget those feelings that Janine had reminded her of, that desperation to feel free the way she only felt with the pills inside her.

"Looks like someones already taught her a lesson" Bradley pointed out with a nervous laugh, interrupting Bec's thoughts.

"Yeah sadly that would be my sister" Bec groaned, in her head cursing Roxy for getting involved and angry with herself for starting this situation in the first place.

"Oh... Well... Erm i'd say keep out of her way" Bradley advised as Gumbo pulled on his lead desperate to continue on his walk.

"Thanks for that" Bec sighed, sitting down she took a deep breath _"I gave you exactly what you were begging me for"... _Ringing in her ears before noticing that her hand was shaking, control was slipping and she just felt weak...

***

"Was the atmosphere at your fathers the reason you came back to Walford?" Steven questioned wondering why Danielle had felt the need to come back again despite everything that had happened between her and Ronnie.

"There wasn't an 'atmosphere' you make it sound like I had a problem with my dad, I didn't that's not what i'm saying" Danielle insisted furiously defending her father not wanting anything to seem like it was his fault, she'd hurt him enough without putting blame on him for how things had turned out with Ronnie.

_I cried. He went quiet. Then he cried. I hated seeing dad cry. He rang the clinic too. I don't belong here any more... Dawley's not my home. Beauty, my gorgeous dog isn't here, my room's changed… everything's different._

_I'm supposed to be packing my bag. Got to get out. Can't believe I hurt him so much. But why shouldn't I find my mum? How was I supposed to know that Paul, the user, would be so horrible. Think I have to go back to the Square. Hold my head high and go back._

"You said you didn't feel like it was your home anymore" Steven pondered, the more they talked the more he wanted to uncover Danielle's feelings about Andy.

"But that was my problems not his! It was me that felt weird, me that wanted to come home" Danielle defended, feeling more and more agitated as Steven pushed her.

"So you saw Walford as your home?" Steven wondered, 'home' was no longer Telford, she was referring to Walford as 'home' even though Telford held her stability and family.

"No... Yes... I don't know I just wanted to be with Ronnie!" Danielle snapped, she'd lost control of the situation, she was confused and had let her guard slip, feeling completely lost she was hitting out with anger.

"Even though she let you down?" Steven asked

"It's not that simple! You don't understand!" Danielle said furiously throwing her hands up in the air, completely frustrated by the questions she was being asked.

"Make me understand, explain to me how despite everything you still wanted to be near Ronnie even though she made it perfectly clear that having her child was...." Steven began consulting his notes to find the exact words "the 'biggest mistake of her life' why would you go back to that when you had your adoptive father who loved and cared for you"

"I didn't go back to get beaten down again, when I came back i'd changed and I went back to tell her and then reject her." Danielle insisted, remembering how determined she was that time to let Ronnie

"Reject her?" Steven asked raising an eyebrow, he was confused here.

"I was going to have the power, I was going to reject her after everything she did to me, after she rejected me I was going to turn the tables! That's not stupid or strange it's about clawing back a tiny bit of self respect!" Danielle shouted she was finally sick and tired of the constant questioning and she stood up and stormed out of the room.

Running down the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her until she was outside and away from everything. Finally she stopped running and let her legs fold beneath her, it was as if she couldn't breathe as thick tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn't want to keep living her past, she was sick and tired of the pain that came with it. She was just tired... So tired.

**Just wanted to write a little note and say thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, it's really good knowing people are reading this. If I may i'm going to do a little shameless plugging and encourage people to read 'Chasing Angels' which i've been co-writing with Adia Rose! Thanks guys :D**


	75. My Delirium

_They'd gone over everything a million times, relieved the hurt and pain over and over again, talked and talked and talked some more but at the end of the night sometimes it was just enough to sit there with each other, silence. A mother and daughter who wanted to be part of each others lives so badly, so badly sometimes they got it wrong and ended up pushing each other away. When the dust settled, when everything was calm, when it was just the two of them in moments like this, that was when they knew. They knew that despite everything, love was stronger. Love would always carry them through._

"Thought i'd find you here" Steven smiled, offering his hand to Danielle and pulling her up. She looked at him puzzled, she just couldn't understand him, couldn't reason why he always left her feeling more messed up than she started.

"Come to have another go at me?" Danielle asked pulling her arm away from his grip. She was so angry and upset she didn't even want to look at him right now but there he was standing next to her as if he was waiting for something.

"I'm not having a go at you Danielle" Steven assured, he placed a comforting hand on Danielle's shoulder, before digging in his pocket to find a tissue. "It's clean I swear"

Danielle took it gratefully, drying her tears before remembering why she was angry at him in the first place. "What was all that about before? Trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to get to know my biological mother, you have no idea of what I went through yet you're still judging me?" she snapped feeling angry yet again.

"That's not what i'm trying to do, what I want you to see is that you made choices and you feel a certain level of guilt because of those choices. You punishing yourself now... It's not going to get better before you understand the decisions you made." Steven insisted, when he said it it sounded so clear but when she felt it everything got mixed up.

"I don't think I understand at all" Danielle confessed with a small smile as she began to feel comfortable in Steven's presence once again.

"So we keep talking, if you want to?" Steven offered, suggesting it gently so as not to push Danielle.

"I don't know... Sometimes I think it makes me feel worse" Danielle admitted shaking her head as she remembered how low she'd been feeling just ten minutes previously, she'd felt so low she could have cut herself and surely the point of therapy was to stop those feelings.

"It might not hurt to cover those feelings up, but that doesn't mean they're not still there, working through them will ultimately help you find some peace with what happened." Steven explained, he so desperately didn't want Danielle to give up on her sessions, and he certainly didn't want to be the person to have pushed her away from getting help.

"Well... I've pretty much wasted this session, I guess i'll see you in a week" Danielle sighed, rolling her eyes she offered Steven a small smile that let him know that everything was looking positive again.

"I don't think you wasted it all. I think you felt what you needed to feel... Just answer me one thing and I don't want you to think about it, I just want you to answer me truthfully. why did you go back to Walford, back to Ronnie?" Steven asked, he needed to get something from this session, even this one thing would count as a step forward.

"Because I love her" Danielle answered without hesitation.

"Definitely not a wasted session" Steven winked before turning and walking away leaving Danielle feeling weirdly satisfied and confused all at once.

***

What was it they said? You call someone when you feel on the edge, you call someone and you tell them how you're feeling and they talk you back, they talk you back and you don't end up doing something you regret.

Scrolling through her phone with such an urgency Bec hovered over the name she wanted to call most of all 'Roxy.' Pressing 'call' Bec listened to the rings, over and over again before the phone finally went to answering machine. Trying again, dialling Roxy again, the phone was ringing but no-one was answering. She needed her sister, needed her to tell her that everything was ok and she wasn't answering, time after time, ring after ring there was no answer. Where was she? What was so important? Finally giving up Bec left a message for Roxy, praying that whatever she was doing it would be over soon.

"Rox... Rox please phone me, Roxy it's really important please I need you" she muttered, not wanting anyone else to hear her, people around here had judged her enough recently.

Anything would be a distraction, anything at all so she started to dig through her bag which turned out to be the worst thing she could have done... At the bottom of her bag, forgotten amongst all the junk she had in there was one last sheet of painkillers left over from a time that seemed so long ago.

***

"Oh seriously Rox will you just turn that bloody thing off" Jack laughed as they had their passion interrupted by Roxy's phone blasting out her Cascada ringtone for what must have been the 8th time.

"I'm thinking someone wants me" Roxy suggested, looking over at her phone desperate to check the number.

"Yeah someone does want you... Me" Jack grinned, reaching over to hit the power button on Roxy's phone before kissing her neck, making her forget all about whoever was trying to get in contact.

***

When Danielle pushed open the door to the living room she giggled as she saw Ronnie still engrossed in the photo album she'd given her for her fake birthday, she must have looked at those photos a hundred times but it didn't seem to stop her from looking at them again. It was as if by learning all these details then it would make up for a past spent apart from each other. Looking up as she finally noticed that someone was standing watching her, she beamed when she realised that person was Danielle.

"Not bored of that thing yet?" Danielle asked moving over to Ronnie and sitting down next to her, leaning slightly into her side and resting her chin on Ronnie's shoulder. Smiling as Ronnie leant over and kissed Danielle's forehead.

"Never" Ronnie promised, stroking the picture of Danielle dressed up in a cute little costume for some school play she'd done when she was younger. As much as it hurt Ronnie to see all these memories that she could never be a part of it was also comforting to be able to fill all the gaps and get a clearer picture of who her daughter was. Finally remembering where Danielle had been all afternoon Ronnie quickly looked her daughter up and down looking for any signs of upset before broaching the burning question. "How did things go today?"

Danielle sighed and pulled herself in even closer to Ronnie before answering. "Not too good, ended up arguing with my therapist and then I stormed out of there..." Danielle confessed, watching as Ronnie tried to hide her look of shock.

"Oh Danni... Look we can sort out so that you talk to someone else, and i'll make sure they know how useless that bloke you've been talking to is! I'll be giving them a piece of my mind!" Ronnie raged slamming the photo album as she got up and stomped off in the direction of the phone.

"Mum! Mum will you just sit down a second and listen! I don't want to talk to anyone else, i'm sticking with Steven ok?" Danielle insisted, smiling at how much Ronnie wanted to protect her, how fiercely angry she had gotten when she thought someone had tried to hurt her baby.

"But you said..." Ronnie began, sitting back down but unable to hide her look of confusion.

"I know and I did get angry but he provokes a reaction, he helps me get out all these feelings that i've been bottling up inside. I think he might even be helping" Danielle grinned, slightly amused at how her reaction to this man was changing.

"Oh baby girl sometimes you confuse me" Ronnie smiled wrapping her arms around Danielle and pulling her in close. Inhaling the smell of her hair that had become so familiar and comforting. Danielle gripped onto Ronnie's hand the way she always did when she wanted to feel secure, bigger hands but it felt like the same grip she had as a baby twenty years ago, clinging onto her mother and desperate not to let go.

"I'm an enigma, it's part of my charm" Danielle laughed, leaning back into Ronnie as they got themselves into a comfortable position on the sofa. Danielle closing her eyes and letting herself fall asleep to the rhythm of Ronnie's hearbeat.

...The unbelievable crash that caused both of them to simultaneously wake up, their hearts pounding, had come from the hallway. Eyeing the clock Ronnie saw that it was already quarter to ten, it couldn't be Glenda making that noise, she'd gone with Peggy to Aunt Sal's for a girls weekend and as for Roxy she'd said she was staying over at Christian's for the night with Amy. It left of course just one option but what the hell could Bec be doing that was causing all that noise. Both Ronnie and Danielle bolted towards the hall to see Bec sprawled out with a lamp smashed next to her, she reeked of alcohol even from where Ronnie was standing she could smell it.

"Oh god she's been drinking" Danielle sighed, witnessing the biggest step backwards she suddenly realised how disappointed and upset Ronnie must have been when she saw her sitting in the bathroom with that blade, shaking the thought she looked at Ronnie as if to ask what they would do next.

"Or worse..." Ronne said what they both had been thinking, Bec's behaviour was erratic, her eyes unfocused, she looked like the stranger they'd witnessed the night of Danielle's birthday party and it wasn't nice to see at all.

"Hey Bec come on lets get you up" Danielle begged attempting to pull her aunt up off the floor.

"I want Roxy! Where the hell is Roxy! I called her like a million times! Get her now!" Rebecca slurred, a determined look in her eyes that made both Ronnie and Danielle realise it would be best to just give her what she wanted. They could do with Roxy's help and support right now anyway.

"I'll give Christian a ring" Danielle smiled at her mother leaving, Ronnie to deal with Rebecca.

"_Hello darling,,, Roxy? She's not here babe... She said she was? Oh well... Danni babe she probably had a reason to keep it secret, don't tell your mum ok." _

Christian's phone-call was hurried, he seemed worried when he realised that he'd dropped Roxy in it and was quick to try and get Danielle to cover it up. She had no idea where Roxy could be... It couldn't be anywhere bad she had Amy with her... What was going on?


	76. Great Expectations

"Is she on her way?" Ronnie asked, she was sat back on the sofa now with Bec asleep in her lap. She stroked her little sisters hair still looking concerned, she didn't know what Bec had taken or even if she'd taken anything at all and she certainly didn't know what she was going to say to Glenda about this.

"Roxy is... Roxy's asleep. Christian said, thought i'd leave her to get some rest we can deal with Bec" Danielle felt awful lying to her mum but she guessed Roxy must have a reason whatever that reason was for not telling the truth about where she was staying. There was no point in causing worry or an argument now.

"Oh... I hope this one here doesn't wake up before she gets home then, she seemed pretty adamant that's who she wanted" Ronnie sighed watching as Danielle slumped down into the armchair next to the sofa matching Ronnie's expression of worry and fear as she looked at Bec who was still sleeping oblivious to all the agitation she had caused. "Dan check her bag, see if she's got anything on her"

Danielle looked at Ronnie slightly surprised "we can't go through her stuff mum!" she insisted. As bad as this situation was, it didn't excuse that complete betrayal of privacy.

"Yes we can, she lost all right to privacy when she pulled a stunt like this! Why would she do this?! She went out to the shop and she comes back five hours later barely able to stand. If she's been taking drugs again then with the amount of alcohol she's drunk it could be dangerous!" Ronnie snapped clearly getting agitated by the situation, Danielle decided it would be easier to just do what Ronnie had asked and started searching. Looking over she saw how worried Ronnie was, it made her painfully aware of what she'd been doing to Ronnie.

The quiet was only interrupted by Ronnie swiftly directing Bec's head towards a bucket that sat by Ronnie's feet as she began to throw up, pulling back Bec's hair Ronnie cringed whilst Danielle had to turn her head unable to watch.

"Well whatever she's had, I think it's all out her system now..." Danielle gagged, placing down Bec's bag having found nothing incriminating inside.

"Come on honey, shush it's ok" Ronnie soothed pulling Bec back onto her lap once it was clear she had finished being sick. Stroking her sisters hair she held on tightly, still not wanting to confront the situation.

"Where's Roxy?..." Bec muttered before turning her head and falling back asleep.

***

Roxy couldn't help but lie awake. Guilt did that to you, it made a good nights sleep almost impossible. Jack was snoring away next to her which did nothing to help the situation, he was just acting as a constant reminder of what she was doing and how it would all end badly no matter how much she tried to convince herself it would be fine. Getting up she made her way over to Amy's travel cot which was set up in the corner of Jack's room. She, like her father, was sleeping soundly and Roxy tried to let herself get lost in the fantasy world where this situation was utterly perfect. It was everything she'd dreamed of, everything she almost had with Sean. Deciding to snoop, Roxy gently began pulling out Jack drawers, hunting through socks and pants before stopping on what she so didn't want to find. Folded in half was a photo, she pulled it out the drawer and gently opened it to see her sister smiling back at her, laying in Jack's arms it was taken from the happy days of their relationship. They looked so... In love.

Roxy knew that Ronnie didn't feel that way anymore, Ronnie's brain didn't actually seem to process any thoughts that didn't involve Danielle but that didn't mean that Jack wasn't still pining over his ex. Why keep a photo in your underwear drawer if they mean nothing to you? Shoving the photo back Roxy didn't let the nagging pain of reality intercept her perfect fantasy world, crawling back into bed with Jack she kissed him gently until he blinked open his eyes and responded to her kisses.

"You want this don't you Jack?" Roxy whispered, desperately seeking affirmation of Jack's feelings for her. Stroking her hands along his chest, she looked into his eyes trying not to show how desperate she was for Jack to confirm that she was the one.

"So much" he replied, stroking her hair. Roxy's racing heartbeat calmed slightly once she'd heard Jack's response. Bringing her lips to his neck she began kissing him, unable to see the look of doubt that flashed across his face before he let his body take over from his heart responding to Roxy.

***

Fluttering her eyes open Bec was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea which she tried to contain whilst searching her brain for an explanation of what exactly had happened the night before. Craning her neck she noticed Danielle sat looking at her from her bed, a look that wasn't exactly friendly.

"Oh you're awake then?" Danielle snapped, she couldn't help feeling so angry. This feeling had played on her mind all night, how weak Bec had been caving in and letting temptation take over.

"Well my eyes are open and i'm aware that you're angry at me... I'd say that constitutes as being awake" Bec joked, forcing herself upwards she gagged slightly trying to contain the constant desire to throw up.

"Will you quit it! Quit pretending that everything is normal!" Danielle ranted, how could Bec lay there as if nothing had happened. She'd just threw away weeks of recovery on one night of 'fun' and she didn't look even slightly fazed by it.

"Why are you getting angry at me?" Bec gasped, trying to figure out what was going on her head was so clouded she could barely think straight never mind process any reason why Danielle would be so annoyed.

"Because you just gave in! You let us down! Do you know how hard i've been struggling recently?!" Danielle cried, pulling up her sleeve she reveal the criss cross of now healing cuts that tracked her arms, the art of self destruction.

"Oh god Danni!" Bec gasped, suddenly aware of everything that had been happening recently, the reasons behind the upset and worry that had cloaked the household. Reaching out she took Danielle's arm, stroking her finger across the marks as if to prove that they were really real, that this situation was really real.

"...And you just give in! How could you just give in?!!" Danielle spat pulling her arm away with a fierce aggression that scared Bec. Danielle was furious because Bec hadn't just let herself down she'd let Danielle down, she'd suddenly made a relapse so much more real and so much more painful. It made it seem as if addiction could triumph, it made it feel like she could never win.

"Dan!" Bec tried to interrupt, bring her hand to her niece's face trying to find a way in but not being able to get past the shield of anger and disgust.

"When I felt on the edge I didn't do it! I talked to mum and just talking to someone made it easier to stop why didn't you talk to us!" Danielle begged, there was a sense of guilt creeping in, she felt responsible for the fact that Bec hadn't gone to Ronnie. Danielle was the one that had put restrictions on their relationship.

"I tried! Ok I called Roxy! I called her time after time! I left her a message begging her to stop me doing it!" Bec admitted with fierce insistence, remembering how Roxy had ignored her when she needed her.

"She didn't answer?" Danielle asked, the anger had slipped slightly now it was just concern that leaked through.

"Completely ignored me" Bec sighed, she glanced at her phone, still Roxy had made no attempt to contact her.

"What about me or Ronnie?" Danielle asked, the feeling of guilt was growing stronger.

"Didn't think you needed that pressure... I was trying to help" Bec admitted, calling Ronnie hadn't even crossed her mind, it wasn't even an option because she had enough to deal with.

"Bec..." Danielle started, trying to stop Bec as she started to walk away.

"Oh Dan..." Bec started turning around just before she reached the door.

"What?" Danielle asked with a hopeful and supportive smile, she was determined to be there for Bec throughout everything.

Bec reached into the pocket of her coat which hung on the door handle, pulling out the still full packet of pills she threw them in Danielle's direction. Danielle caught them and looked at them for a minute before looking at Bec as if to ask for an explanation.

"I never touched them" Bec smiled sadly before making her way towards the bathroom. Leaving a surprised looking Danielle completely speechless.

_Choices... Sometimes they can be so difficult to make, sometimes they're easy and they just make sense. Either way when it comes to making a choice you always end up wondering 'what if'. For Rebecca her 'what if' was what if she'd taken those pills she'd found laying in her bag, well she'd have probably felt great for all of what... An hour or two? But ultimately it would set her back so far, she'd lose the respect she'd just about clawed back and it would make her the person that Janine thought she was. So she made another choice, a different choice, sure it was still a bad one but ultimately it was far less stupid than the only other option she could think of. Trying to shake off the feeling of falling she shoved the pills into her coat pocket. Sprinting across the Square she quickly caught up with Bradley. "Hey... Doing anything tonight?" Bec asked with a big smile that she'd plastered on her face despite the fact that inside she felt like a wreck. "Er no... Why do you ask?" Bradley nervously smiled back ignoring the fact that Gumbo was pulling fiercely on his lead desperate to go home. "Do you want to come out with me and get really, really drunk?" Bec asked laughing, blushing red. "Well... That's certainly the strangest offer i've had" Bradley began letting out a bemused chuckle. "Sorry ignore me I sound stupid" Bec backtracked, cursing herself for sounding so stupid. "Wait. I said it was strange... Not that it wasn't a good offer" Bradley laughed pulling back an embarrassed looking Bec, suddenly aware that he was holding onto her arm for just a little too long he pulled back his own cheeks flushed red "one question... Why really, really drunk?" Bec laughed before replying "doesn't it sound like fun?" she winked._


	77. That's What You Get

Roxy placed her key in the door carefully so as not to alert attention to her arrival, as she opened the door she prayed that Ronnie wouldn't be standing on the other side as she was certain her face would give away every single detail. All she wanted to do was creep in undetected, put Amy down and then get some rest herself. There was no chance of this happening however as Danielle was stood waiting for her, arms crossed, furrowed brow she looked... Well she looked exactly like Ronnie when she was in a bad mood, this wasn't a good sign.

"Hey Dan... You ok?" Roxy asked nervously trying to cover her look of guilt she just knew was etched on every inch of her face. Keeping her head down she pushed past Danielle playing Amy down on her play mat. She hoped that Danielle's answer to her question would be that either she was fine or that whatever problem she did have was in no way connected to her and her little indiscretion.

"Where were you last night?" Danielle asked sternly, Roxy's face immediately dropped. This would require some quick thinking, which in all honesty wasn't exactly Roxy's strong point.

"You know where I was. I stayed at Christian's... Big girly night" Roxy chuckled, kneeling down she focused all her attention on tickling Amy's belly. _If there was ever a time for you to be cute and distracting babe this is it! _Roxy thought, sadly Amy's mind reading skills weren't exactly up to par and she simply yawned and turned away from her mum.

"You're a liar" Danielle accused, taking Amy in her arms she knew this was the only way to get Roxy's full focused attention.

"What?! Dan what is this all about? What's going on hon?" Roxy asked trying to steady her voice so as not to give anything away. Surely Danielle couldn't know, how could she know? This was her and Jack's little secret.

"Last night, things happened..." Danielle started before being interrupted by a worried looking Roxy.

"Things?" Roxy asked, her secret looked like it was balanced on very shaky ground right now, her mind raced through a hundred different situations, all the possible ways that Danielle and more importantly Ronnie could have found out about exactly where Roxy had spent the night.

"It doesn't matter now... What matters is that when we needed to get in contact with you you weren't answering your phone and when I called Christian he didn't have a clue about what was going on. You know if you're going to lie about something then at least get your lie straight with the person who's supposed to be covering for you!" Danielle ranted angrily in her aunts direction, she didn't exactly know where Roxy was but she figured that if Roxy felt the need to lie then it was bad. More importantly she hadn't responded to Bec, and as much as it pained Danielle to admit it she resented the fact that her evening with her mother had been interrupted by Bec's drama.

"I can explain" Roxy started, racking her brains for an excuse a reason that she could offer to Danielle.

"Where were you?" Danielle asked again, stroking Amy's hair she rocked her little cousin gently as she watched Roxy fidget awkwardly with her top.

"Just at a friends alright?! God Dan... I was at my friend Emma's place, I haven't seen her in ages. Thing is babe Ronnie hates her, thinks she's a bad influence on me and to be honest I just didn't want to deal with the drama... What's all this anger hey? Where did you think I was?" Roxy asked running her hand along the side of Danielle's cheek before tickling Amy's chin.

"Why didn't you answer your phone then?" Danielle challenged, still not certain she believed what Roxy was telling her.

"Bloody battery's dead ain't it? I can't find my charger anywhere" Roxy laughed, watching as the suspicion slipped from Danielle's face and was replaced with an embarrassed flush. Roxy let out a little sigh of relief, she'd dodged that bullet... For now.

"Oh god Rox i'm so sorry... Seem to have a habit of accusing people at the moment" Danielle sighed rubbing her head with her free hand whilst Amy tugged at her hair, remembering what had happened with Bec.

Handing Amy back to Roxy Danielle made her way to the bedroom, Bec clearly wasn't in a cheerful mood there was music blasting from the room. '_Misled, you've always been misled' _the song shouted at her. Opening the door Danielle stood in the doorway and just hovered for a minute before Bec noticed that she was standing there, turning down the volume she looked over at Danielle and smiled, almost nervously not quite knowing what the reaction was going to be.

"I shouldn't have walked out on you earlier, not after what you told me" Bec started, she didn't know exactly what would make things better here. She had been so angry earlier that Danielle's revelation had almost slipped unnoticed amongst everything else.

"You had every right to walk away, I just accused you. That wasn't fair of me" Danielle admitted, offering back a warm smile which brought them back together. They were family yes, but most of all they were friends who seemed to have lost their way.

"Oh come on Danni. I came in completely trashed last night, of course you were going to assume i'd taken something... Ronnie thought so too didn't she?" Bec asked, shaking her still aching head. She would regret her actions last night but it hadn't been all bad...

"We were wrong. I should have asked you straight out, not just jumped to conclusions." Danielle sighed wrapping Bec into a protective hug. As the pulled apart Bec brought her hands to Danielle's arm, stood in silence she simply looked at Danielle.

"When did we stop telling each other everything?" Bec whispered sadly, she could hardly believe it, could hardly believe that things had gotten so bad for Danielle and she didn't have a clue.

"Forget it ok" Danielle insisted pulling her arms away, she bowed her head the way she always did when someone mentioned her self-harming. It was supposed to be a private thing, her release, just her and the cold blade but now everyone was involved.

""You can't ask me to do that... You showed me them now you need to tell me what's going on" Bec requested, gently trying to get Danielle to open up to her.

"You don't need my problems on top of your own... You said you called Roxy, you said you needed Roxy and then you go out and drink yourself into an oblivion. There was something wrong for you to do that." Danielle asked quickly changing the subject.

"I found the pills in my bag, from before. I had an argument with Janine and all of a sudden there was an option, something to consider..." Bec explained, feeling ashamed as she admitted to that moment of weakness.

"Roxy's phone wasn't charged, you know she would have been there in a split second otherwise." Danielle assured, defending Roxy.

"I guessed she must have been busy, it didn't really have to be her I wanted to talk to someone... I just didn't want to relapse, didn't want to repeat the same mistakes" Bec admitted, relieved to hear that Roxy hadn't simply ignored her.

"So you went out drinking instead? Bec that isn't better, alcohol is still a drug, you can still get addicted to alcohol" Danielle warned, it was a strange situation feeling protective over your aunt, especially when you were having just as many problems but somehow it was making Danielle feel better looking after someone.

"It wasn't like that, I just needed to have a good time, forget all that bad stuff" Bec defended, she had just wanted to do what normal teenagers do, drink and have fun but it would never be that easy, not with addiction in her past.

"And drinking alone, getting drunk that's a good time?" Danielle asked, still unaware that Bec hadn't spent the night downing alcohol on her own like some old drunk.

"I wasn't alone..." Bec admitted, a small smile creeping across her face at the memory of her company.

"Who were you with?" Danielle asked intrigued, she couldn't help but notice how the thought of this mystery person had lit up Bec's face.

"Just a friend" Bec muttered, wondering whether or not to share the information with Danielle, as much as she wanted to Danielle was still Stacey's best friend and there were going to be complications, she was sure of it.

"You don't have any friends" Danielle burst out, a bit harsher sounding than she would have liked it to, but basically it was true Bec hadn't really socialised with many people in the Square outside of her family.

"Oh thanks for that... I was with Bradley ok?!" Bec finally admitted, her cheeks blushing red as she registered the look of surprise on Danielle's face.

"You got drunk with Bradley?" Danielle asked astonished at this pairing she definitely hadn't seen coming.

"There are a surprisingly large amount of Doctor Who drinking games..." Bec giggled, her stomach turning at the thought of the amount of alcohol they'd consumed whilst getting strange looks from other people in the pub at the constant shouts of 'darlek!' and 'tardis!'

"Oh god" Danielle groaned, laughing at the thought of it.

"Stop teasing! Come on, lets go annoy Roxy instead" Bec suggested desperate to divert the attention away from her.

"Sounds like fun... Then afterwards maybe you can tell me all about Bradley!" Danielle teased, wrapping an arm around Bec the two made their way towards the living room.

"There's nothing to tell!" Bec lied, unable to hide her excitement.

"_I just can't believe you've actually been watching it!" Bradley grinned, barely able to contain his excitement. "Bradley I lived in Australia not some remote island without television, you guys sit around watching Neighbours why is it so hard to believe that Aussie's sit down and watch Doctor Who?" Bec laughed as she sipped her drink. "Well it wasn't so much Australian's in general watching Doctor Who that surprised me... More that you watched it" Bradley smiled nervously, a gorgeous girl that like sci-fi, either he was dreaming or it was all a big joke at his expense. "What's wrong with me?" Bec asked with mock offense. "Nothing you just seem a little too... Perfect" Bradley admitted his cheeks blushing crimson. "Perfect? I've just got out of rehab, i'm hardly a catch... Not that i'm suggesting this is a date or anything" Bec hurried, equally as nervous as Bradley was. "It could be though" Bradley burst out in a spontaneous act of confidence. "It could" Bec smiled, downing her drink. _

"Found your charger then Rox" Danielle smiled as she noticed Roxy intensely typing out texts on her phone, engrossed in the screen she barely even noticed the entrance of the two girls.

"What?... Oh yeah, yeah it was in the drawer" Roxy quickly covered, trying to keep up with all the details of her lie.

"Who you texting?... Look at the smile on her face Danni, it's so got to be a boy!" Bec teased, flopping down onto the sofa next to Roxy she tried to get a peek at the screen.

"Ooh you've got a man-friend?!" Danielle squealed sitting down on the other side of Roxy, desperately trying to peek at the screen that Roxy was now carefully shielding.

"I haven't got... I'm not texting anyone!" Roxy lied, getting flustered as she realised she was surrounded.

In Roxy's brief moment of confusion Bec was able to grab Roxy's phone, holding it up in the air away from Roxy, she gave a devious look to Danielle as they began playing a game with Roxy, teasing her and basically causing trouble.

"Soooo you won't mind me looking at it?!" Bec laughed, pretending to peer at the screen as Danielle giggled.

"Will you just give that back?!" Roxy moaned, desperately trying to reach out to grab the phone, but unable to as Danielle pulled her back, grabbing onto her arms Roxy knew fighting these two when they were in this mood was useless.

"Catch Dan" Bec laughed, throwing the phone in Danielle's direction, Danielle let go of Roxy to grab hold of the phone before darting over to the other side of the room.

"Hmm lets find out who Roxy's mysterious man friend is!!" Danielle laughed, poised threateningly over the 'messages' icon before throwing the phone back to Bec who sat on it to stop Roxy getting her hands on it.

"Will you two just leave it?!" Roxy snapped, trying to hide the fact that she was getting really annoyed and really scared about what the girls could discover.

"Aww Roxy why are you getting so angry!... Ooh vibrations!" Bec declared feeling the phone vibrate beneath her she retrieved the phone and threw it in Danielle's direction.

"A message from..." Danielle began, looking at the screen she saw the name 'Jack' normally she wouldn't have thought anything of it but today she was suspicious, today she opened the text message and discovered what deep down she had a feeling she might find.

_Last night was amazing, need to see you again soon. Take Amy out for a day out with her mummy and daddy? Then I cook you a romantic meal? Jack xx_

"Just a message reminding her to top-up. Nothing exciting. Come on Bec, I feel like a drink" Danielle muttered, lying as she dismissed what she had just seen to Bec. Chucking the phone a little too fiercely at Roxy, Roxy finally knew she'd been discovered.

"Erm ok... See you later Rox" Bec smiled confused at the sudden turn in events she simply shrugged before trotting off after Danielle.

Roxy sat alone, reading the text message she sighed deeply as she tried to figure out what she was going to do next. Could she silence Danielle? Would Danielle understand? So many questions that she couldn't get answered as she heard the slam of the door as Danielle and Bec left the house. What would she say to Ronnie? Anything? What was going to happen now? Too many questions, just too many.

**Right, so just been wondering about how people are feeling about this story, some feedback about what you're liking and disliking and any suggestions would really be appreciated. I don't want to be writing a fiction that people are hating so all comments are welcome. I do take into account the way people feel about things so anything at all would be great. Also any questions, anything that I haven't explained properly or anything you'd like to know, feel free to ask. Thanks for reading guys :D**


	78. I Could Be There For You

"See now I thought we were having a hardcore Roxy teasing session there and then you just freeze up? What's going on Dan?" Bec asked trying to keep up with Danielle's determined pace.

"Nothing I was just bored, come on doesn't the Vic sound like more fun?" Danielle tried to dismiss her change in mood but it was difficult, Bec could definitely sense that something was wrong but there was no way that Danielle wanted to discuss what she'd seen on Roxy's phone. No that was a later confrontation for when she'd calmed down a little.

"Yeah whatever" Bec groaned, linking her arm through Danielle's she decided to go along with whatever was happening.

On the way they passed Glenda who was wandering past dragging her suitcase fresh from her weekend at Sal's. Embracing the two girls, Glenda fired a hundred questions at them, how had things been whilst she was away? Was everything alright at home? How were they? Making quick conversation, Bec quickly made it clear to her mother that they wanted to get away, realising that everything wasn't alright she decided instead to ask Roxy about it when she got home whilst Danielle and Bec scurried off to the Vic.

The two girls got closer to the Vic when Danielle spotted a bored looking Stacey on the stall next to an equally bored looking Mo. Trade was scarily slow and Stacey wasn't exactly enthralled with the conversation with Mo, it just wasn't the same as having a giggle with Danielle.

"Coming for a drink Stace?" Danielle called out, it felt like forever since she'd seen her best friend but with everything that had been going on she'd just

"Sure, look after the stall for me nan will ya" Stacey grinned shoving her money bag at a perturbed looking Mo. Bounding across in Danielle's direction there was an instant happiness between the pair, their bond and friendship meaning more to each other than even they realised.

Smiling at Peggy as they reached the bar the girls ordered drinks, Bec choosing a coke much to Danielle's relief, settling down in a corner Stacey began to tell Danielle everything that had been happening recently, all of Mo's dodgy dealings and Jean's various adventures. Bec watched on surprised by how comfortable Danielle was with Stacey, how these stories were so familiar to Danielle and how at ease she seemed talking about the Slaters. Letting her mind wander she sat back unable to join in the conversation.

"Oh Dan it was disgusting, Nan had this bloke round and he just walks to the bathroom wearing absolutely nothing, oh you should have seen Uncle Charlie's face it was hilarious!" Stacey laughed as she tried her hardest to make Danielle smile.

She could sense that something wasn't quite right, there was something going on and Danielle wasn't sharing. Stacey cursed the Mitchell's in her head, she believed they were the cause of a lot of pain and she could never believe Danielle was one of them. Her eyes moved over to a bored looking Bec and she felt that familiar rage build up inside, she was exactly the same as Ronnie and Roxy, that same look, same presence about her. It was as if Danielle was the Mitchell that had broken the mold, Stacey never saw the familiarities between Danielle and the rest of her family even though they were painfully obvious to everyone else.

Bec drained the last of her drink, indicating to Danielle that she was going to get another she was relieved to get to the bar. Peggy was busy talking to a customer but as soon as she spotted her niece she made her excuses and rushed over, a big smile on her face.

"Hello my darling what can I get you?" Peggy asked warmly, peering over in Stacey and Danielle's direction, casting a protective eye over Danielle.

"Ooh think i'll go wild and have an orange juice" Bec laughed watching as Peggy poured the drink, Bec searched her pocket for change but Peggy waved her hand indicating that the drink was free.

"Hope you're planning on sticking to the soft drinks young lady, I heard all about you in here the other night!" Peggy tutted, causing Bec to squirm uncomfortably, it was impossible to get anything past Peggy she had eyes and ears everywhere.

"Oh I was just having a bit of fun Auntie Peg" Bec groaned, swirling her orange juice around with her straw she refused to make eye contact with Peggy.

"Well it won't be happening when i'm around, and i'll make sure that Trace knows not to serve you either!" Peggy grumbled whilst Bec simply nodded in agreement before taking a deep breath and returning to where Danielle and Stacey were still chatting away.

Bec had barely sat down when she noticed the door of the Vic opening, watching as Bradley walked in she felt her heart beating a little faster, a strange fluttering in her stomach as he gave her a little wave. Waving back she suddenly became aware that Stacey was waving as well, slowly turning to look at each other they glared before both turning back to the direction of a nervous looking Bradley who realised both girls thought the wave was directed at them.

Danielle watched slightly amused by the situation, trying to stifle a laugh as she watched Bec raise an eyebrow at an annoyed looking Stacey. Bradley gave Danielle a pleading look as he saw the tension between the two women develop and Danielle tried to indicate that Bradley should come over right now and sort this out!

Making his way over he sat opposite the three of them trying to make conversation despite the air of intense tension. Painfully aware that his wife was watching his every mood he couldn't help but keep glancing over at Bec, she'd been all he could think about all day and all he wanted to do was talk to her. These glances weren't unnoticed by Danielle who smiled at the nervous and subtle flirtation that was occurring between Bec and Bradley.

However, this also hadn't gone unnoticed by Stacey who in an act of jealousy sent her drink flying 'accidently' in Bec's direction. Sadly for Stacey completely missing Bec and drenching Danielle's jacket instead.

"Stacey!" Danielle snapped, standing up trying to shake as much of the drink off as possible.

"Oh Dan just take your jacket off you'll be alright, that'll wash straight out" Stacey assured not quite understanding just how annoyed Danielle was getting.

But Danielle couldn't simply take off her jacket, taking off her jacket would mean revealing her arms to everyone and she couldn't deal with the stares or the questions, frustrated and upset she ran off, heading upstairs. Bec realising what had happened quickly shot Stacey an angry glance before following Danielle. Danielle had peeled off her soaking wet jacket by the time she'd got upstairs, trying to think of something she could use to cover herself up, she didn't fancy pulling on one of Peggy's tops. Quickly unzipping her hoody Bec chucked it in a grateful looking Danielle's direction who pulled it on.

"Sorry about that downstairs" Bec sighed as she searched Peggy's cupboards for a biscuit, remembering where Ben had told her they were stashed.

"It wasn't you that did it was it? It was Stacey" Danielle smiled, grabbing a biscuit out of the packet that Bec had just located. Trying to show she was ok, not wanting Bec to question her about what had just happened.

"But she did it because of me" Bec groaned, she had thought she was going to be the one with complications, the one who made it difficult for her and Bradley to get together but that was forgetting that he had a wife to contend with.

"Yeah well she did look a little green eyed" Danielle laughed as much as she loved Stacey she knew that at the end of the day she was never going to be happy with Bradley. Bradley was a nice guy, he deserved someone great.

"Oh, but there's nothing going on" Bec insisted though her face told a different story. There was clearly some tension still existing with Stacey and Bradley and she wasn't going to stand in the way if there was a chance of them getting back together.

"I'm not blind Bec! Don't worry about Stace i'll sort her. She only wants Bradley when somebody else has him" Danielle admitted feeling slightly disloyal to her best friend but at the same time knowing that it was the truth.

"I don't 'have him' we just had a few drinks together thats all!" Bec laughed grabbing another biscuit before she headed out of the kitchen.

"Whatever!" Danielle teased following close behind as the girls made their way back down to the bar.

Stacey was leaning in ever closer to an uncomfortable looking Bradley, she'd taken the opportunity of Bec and Danielle's departure to put the moves on him, pulling down her top to show maximum cleavage she was trying her hardest to be seductive but Bradley just shifted awkwardly in his chair, downing his beer he made his excuses to go to the bar and get another.

"What happened to those girls?" Peggy quizzed shooting Bradley a look that made him feel like he'd done something way, Peggy Mitchell could be a scary woman sometimes.

"Erm Stacey spilled a drink on Danielle so they ran upstairs" Bradley explained, taking the cold beer from Peggy and dropping money into her hand he turned around to see Stacey looking directly at him, as he turned he saw Danielle and Bec emerging. Not quite knowing what do he suddenly noticed Bec beckoning him over. He was grateful to get away from Stacey especially when she was in this mood.

"What are you wearing that for?" Stacey huffed pointing to Bec's hoody and cringing slightly in distaste for the garment which Danielle pulled tightly around her.

"I'm cold alright" Danielle snapped immediately regretting the tone of her voice. Looking over to where Bradley and Bec were standing.

As Bec pulled Bradley over she couldn't help but smile at him as he gazed at her, it was the same familiar flutter she'd gotten earlier on when he'd walked in. But at the same time her head was forcing her to say things she really didn't want to say.

"Look if this is too weird then i'm just going to go home ok? I don't know if this between us is anything but i'm not going to get in the way of you and your wife Bradley" Bec mumbled, hating pushing him away but at the same time hoping to alleviate the tension and pull herself away before she got in too deep and ended up getting hurt.

"Me and Stacey are over, we have been for a long time" Bradley promised, his hand touching Bec's she wanted to move away from it but she couldn't deny herself the electricity that pulsated between them, it was a bigger rush than any drug.

"Then what's that all about?" Bec sighed looking over at Stacey who was shooting evils at the pair as she downed yet another drink whilst Danielle tried to talk to her.

"Look I like you, I really like you." Bradley insisted, ignoring his wife he turned Bec's head away, his hand touching her cheek she tried her hardest not to look into her eyes.

"It's too complicated" Bec muttered pulling herself away from Bradley's touch she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with Stacey's eyes locked on their every move.

"No it's not" Bradley whispered, throwing caution to the wind he leaned in and kissed her, she pulled back looking surprised before smiling and kissing him back.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Stacey yelled standing up and making her way towards the pair. "He's married, you hear! He doesn't want to get mixed up with a Mitchell" the Mitchell name being uttered like it was a swear word, something dirty.

"Stacey we've been separated for months! In fact i've been talking to a lawyer about starting divorce proceedings ok! Who I see is my business!" Bradley snapped, it wasn't often he got angry but seeing Stacey so unreasonable just made him furious.

"You're exactly the same as the rest of them you know that?!" Stacey spat shoving Bec angrily, it was less what had just happened that was angering her, more a general frustration with the Mitchell family as a whole. Bec just happened to be the one who was going to bare the brunt of Stacey's rage.

"Oy! What's going on here? Stacey Slater I should have known...." Peggy sighed, quickly making her way over to where the girls were standing.

"Oh leave it alone Peggy, your precious family aren't that great you know!" Stacey snapped, giving another dirty look to Bec.

"Right that's it. Gerrout of my pub!!" Peggy hollered, the expression on her face letting her know that she was deadly serious Stacey decided it wasn't worth carrying on this fight. She stomped out with Danielle quickly following behind her, shooting an apologetic glance towards Bec, Bradley and Peggy.

"Stace what the hell was that about?" Danielle asked, pulling her friend back she took hold of her arms trying to steady an angry looking Stacey.

"Everyone is leaving me! Everyone... I'm losing everyone I love to Mitchell's!" Stacey admitted, feeling frustrated she began to walk away as fast as she could, desperate to just get away.

"You're not losing anyone Stace, you've not lost me" Danielle called after her, trying to catch up she slipped her hand into Stacey's giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't hear from you for weeks Dan i've already lost you... and now she's got her claws into Bradley thats it, i'm all alone." Stacey huffed sadly, everything had felt like it was slipping away recently and there was no one to help pick up the pieces.

"I will always be your best mate, always. You've always been there for me, in your own special way" Danielle laughed, grabbing Stacey and forcing her into a close hug Stacey could do little else but smile.

_Danielle sat in the Slater's living room feeling so completely lost, her mind kept repeating every word that Ronnie had said to her as she began to explain to Stacey what had happened at the wedding. "I begged her... I begged her to believe me and she wouldn't" Danielle cried, the pain that ripped through her was worse than any other pain she'd ever experienced, rejection and loss. "I tell ya what she's going to get a mouthful off me I can tell you that now" Stacey slurred pouring herself another drink, she was mildly aware that she was angry but to be honest nothing was really making sense. "You don't understand!" Danielle cried in frustration, no one could understand this pain. "I do understand! That Ronnie Mitchell, she thinks she owns the Square ,she looks down her nose at everyone. Well you and me Dan we're gunna put her straight" Stacey insisted angrily, she so wanted to give Ronnie Mitchell a slap right now, there was Danielle standing before her, her heart breaking "I'm, i'm here for you Danielle, i'm your mate, i'm your best mate in the whole world i'm not gunna let you down" Stacey promised, it was all she could think to do, give Danielle any reassurance. "It's too late... I'm just going to go... I'm just going to get on a train and go" Danielle decided, she wanted to run away so badly, she wanted to escape from everything, maybe once she was gone Ronnie would realise her mistake and then it would be too late. "No you ain't, you ain't going anywhere, alright? Because me, I, me, Stacey Slater am gunna sort it out..." Stacey promised, running her fingers through Danielle's hair there was a closeness and a bond so strong between these two, if only Stacey was sober, if only she'd been able to stop Danielle... "Now excuse me, cos I need to be sick" she muttered making her way up the stairs._

"I'm worried about you Dan" Stacey admitted in a small voice, she needed to bring up the differences she'd seen in her best mate. There was something wrong she could see that.

"There's nothing to worry about Stace" Danielle promised, she hoped she looked sincere but she had a feeling that whatever act she put on Stacey would be able to read it.

"Quit lying to me Dan... Is it Ronnie? Has she been upsetting you again?" Stacey quizzed desperate to find an answer so that she could help.

"Stacey will you just leave it alone! She's my mother!" Danielle snapped, they'd gotten so close to being back to normal. Stacey could have kicked herself for bringing up Ronnie knowing the reaction it would get.

"Alright, alright i'm sorry. Want to come help me out on the stall? We can talk, gossip it'll be just like the old days" Stacey promised, reaching out to Danielle.

"Not today... I've got things to sort" Danielle muttered, turning away she sighed knowing that she had to face Roxy, there were things to be said, things to straighten out and questions that needed answering.

**Thank you so much for your feedback it really was appreciated, positive or negative it all helps. **

**One point I feel I have to address because SO many people have raised it is the hatred of Jack and Roxy... If the reaction i'm getting is hate then i'm doing it right. You're SUPPOSED to hate Jack and Roxy, they're no great love story, they're simply a plot device. I hope you notice that even when they're together I put in little touches of the pair of them not being committed to what they are doing. Roxy is always feeling guilty, clinging onto anyone at all and Jack is settling for a woman that he doesn't love to guarantee his position in his daughters life. It is the effect of their relationship rather than the relationship itself that will be important here.**

**Anyway as I said I really appreciated the feedback, always feel free to tell me what you think :D**


	79. Another Heart Calls

Danielle had considered going back to the Vic, or maybe even helping Stacey out on the stall give them a chance to talk properly. But these were just distractions, things that stood in the way of Danielle having to actually think about what she'd seen on Roxy's phone. Just remembering Roxy's guilty face, surely an indication that even she knew that what she was doing was wrong, sent a bubble of anger rising up inside Danielle. Even if Ronnie and Jack were truely over, even if Ronnie really didn't love Jack anymore, that didn't mean that what Roxy was doing wasn't a betrayal.

It wasn't even so much what Roxy was doing that was so bad, it was the simple fact that she was lying to Ronnie and now Danielle was in on that too. How could she lie to her mother after everything? How could she hurt her and betray her right now, when their relationship had just started opening up? No it was simple, Roxy had to make a choice. Either she told Ronnie or Danielle wouldn't hesitate to.

Building herself up as she walked home, going over everything in her head by the time she pushed open the front door she was feeling even more irritated than she had done before. Hunting around, checking the front room and the kitchen before heading upstairs to Roxy's bedroom where she eventually found her aunt sitting there on her bed. Danielle sighed, she really couldn't find the words, instead she braced herself for whatever excuse was about to come out of Roxy's mouth, surely there was nothing she could offer her? It was perfectly clear what had been going on.

Roxy looked at Danielle with sad eyes, she felt like a guilty child. Both sat waiting in anticipation for the other to say anything. Finally after the stand off of silence had lasted around five minutes Danielle finally got fed up and started to speak.

"You've been sleeping with Jack" Danielle stated watching as Roxy pulled her knees up towards her chin, she was trying to look as innocent as possible. Roxy's own special brand of manipulation as she tried to make Danielle sympathise with her, gain her support.

"Dan... Please, this isn't just a fling. We're trying to build a life together, you can't deny me that" Roxy offered a weak smile, all she needed was for Danielle to see that she was doing the right thing and maybe, just maybe she would keep quiet.

"If this isn't a fling, if it was something proper then you wouldn't be hiding it Rox. You're scared of mum finding out" Danielle sighed. Tidying up Roxy's bedside table she quickly sorted out all of Roxy's makeup, distracting herself from the situation with the comforting act of organizing.

"Danni babe, you don't want to hurt your mum do you by telling her? You'll just cause problems, push her away by bringing up something like this" Roxy soothed an attempt to guilt Danielle into doing exactly what she wanted her too. She knew it was dirty tactics but she was just hoping and praying that Danielle would go along with it, that she could keep her and Jack hidden for just another week... Or month... Or.... Well she didn't have a clue, it never seemed real, it never seemed like it would come out in public and to be honest Roxy didn't want it to. She was enjoying the guilt, the passion and the excitement. A relationship with Jack out in the open that was too boring for Roxy, too normal.

All of a sudden Danielle felt a wave of anger rise up in her and before she knew it she felt her hand connect with Roxy's cheek, the sound of the slap cut the air dead. There was nothing either woman could say. Roxy just looked astonished, touching her tender cheek and looking up at Danielle. It made her think about the fights she'd had with Ronnie, made her think about all the things that had been said.

"_Ronnie Mitchell... The Ice Queen... Heart of Glass" Roxy laughed "Letting a man pull a fast one on her!! Oh the shame of it, how will you ever live that down? Well no wonder you kept it quiet you poor pathetic sap'" she continued enjoying Ronnie's every uncomfortable squirm. "Do you wanna know why I kept it from you Rox, do you? I kept it from you because I wanted something for myself. I wanted something that had nothing to do with you... Just me. You are all over my life, you are in it, everything is about you and I wanted something of my own." Ronnie hissed, intimidating Roxy with her very presence as she leaned in ever closer. "Well finally, a bit of honesty hey? It's like getting blood out of a stone" Roxy mocked. "And you know what don't even start on me with men because at least I don't screw anything in a pair of trousers just to make me feel good about myself!" Ronnie spat. "No because you're frigid!" Roxy yelled "Oh that's nice! That's nice... Very mature" Ronnie chuckled heading back towards the door leaving Roxy to it. "Well at least I have fun!" Roxy shouted. "Fun? You're a liability! I don't live my life I live yours!" Ronnie complained completely exasperated by Roxy's continued resilience. "Poor hard done by Veronica! Such a martyr! No-one knows how you suffer!" Roxy mocked. "I've had enough of this" Ronnie sighed. "Oy! I am not finished!" Roxy shouted causing Ronnie to turn around. "What you going to do Rox? Throw yourself on the floor are you? Bang your little heels? Are you going to pout until you get what you want? That may have worked when we were kids but it doesn't work anymore! Now things are going to happen to you that you don't like and you're going to have to learn how to deal with it" Ronnie warned, Roxy nodding silently. "Now this conversation is over" Ronnie announced. "You wanted something of your own?! Well you had that didn't you? And look what happened there!" Roxy snapped, her parting shot was the one where she knew she'd gone to far. As Ronnie closed the door to the office Roxy braced herself as Ronnie slammed her head into the nearest wall._

This was oh so similar, pushing someone too far. Trying to get her own way, she should have anticipated that some pain was coming her way, she was Ronnie's daughter after all.

"How dare you think you can make me feel guilty about something that you are doing? Roxy grow up and take a bit of responsibility for what you're doing! If you really love Jack then you need to talk about it with Ronnie, but the way I see it this is just something to tide you over until the next idiot comes along!!" Danielle spat furiously, venting her anger at Roxy's selfishness. How dare Roxy get to sit there and have it all, have everyone protect her and look after her whilst Danielle stood exposed to all the pain and hurt this world could throw at her. It didn't seem fair, all Roxy did was use people yet she was the one to land on her feet, time after time.

"Dan..." Roxy gasped, but there was absolutely nothing she could say right now. She couldn't defend herself because everything Danielle was saying had some ring of truth to it.

"Roxy come on, you're an adult, you're a mum. Just really think about things... After everything mum has done for you over the years this is how you treat her?!" Danielle growled, she kept remembering all the little things that had happened over the months since she'd come to the Square. All the little arguments she'd witnessed between Ronnie and Roxy. She'd always assumed her mother was simply overreacting but finally she was understanding it.

"Is everything alright in here?" Glenda interrupted, after hearing the raised voices she'd decided it was best to come and check things out. Roxy's throbbing red cheek was a sign that things were far from alright but before she could ask anymore questions Danielle had darted from the room.

"Leave it mum" Roxy sighed turning back to her phone, it would all blow over she told herself, it would all blow over soon.

***

Scanning a sheet Ronnie tried to force herself to look interested in the figures in front of her which was quite difficult to do when Jack was acting like a teenager on the other side of the office, tapping messages into his phone and laughing at the responses, grinning and generally just being quite off-putting. She could only assume that he was messaging a girl and making some lame attempt at trying to get a reaction from her.

"Jack have you had a look at these?" Ronnie interrupted, waving the pile of papers in his direction. He didn't respond, simply stared at his phone waiting for yet another message to come through. "Jack?!" Ronnie shouted getting annoyed.

"What?" Jack grunted looking up at Ronnie, he was wishing and hoping for a flicker of jealousy but he got nothing. Just that stone cold look she reserved only for him it seemed recently.

"Don't tell me some poor mug has fallen for the Jack Branning 'charm' oh dear..." Ronnie laughed rolling her eyes she was showing that she completely in charge of the situation. Jack didn't stand a chance.

"Is that jealousy?" Jack bit back, a desperate attempt at banter. an argument... Well those normally led to passion didn't they? He could just imagine his lips meeting hers, his fingers finding their way to her shirt buttons... Roxy? Well she didn't really matter to Jack did she? Just a bit of fun.

"Oh yes Jack, I can barely operate knowing you're getting your leg over" Ronnie sighed, flicking her hair she noticed the look of longing that Jack was giving her. She didn't return it, contempt was a far better response.

"Is there any need for us to be like this?" Jack questioned. It was even more ego-destroying to see Ronnie's insistence on keeping up this cold front with him when he knew it had melted with so many others.

"Jack, we can work together, it's quite easy but I need you to concentrate when it comes to things with this business ok?" Ronnie demanded waving the pile of papers once again in Jack's direction.

"Fine" Jack grunted, making his way over to Ronnie's desk he grabbed the papers letting his finger scrape along the side of her hand she pulled back in disgust. Whoever his new woman was she felt sorry for her.

"Right, well i'm going to head home" Ronnie announced grabbing her bag and getting up, heading towards the door.

"What about those figures?" Jack asked quite obviously irritated.

"You can enjoy them" Ronnie winked, laughing as she left still completely in control with Jack Branning left looking like a love sick puppy.

***

Walking into the club Danielle took a deep breath, it was pointless trying to get through to Roxy so instead she decided to confront Jack, wasn't it him that had been declaring his love for her mother just a couple of weeks ago? Tapping on the office door she heard Jack yell "come in!" he looked surprised when he saw it was Danielle standing in front of him.

"Look if this is about hours and things then you should talk to your mum, she deals with all that stuff" Jack dismissed Danielle with a small smile, before returning back to his paperwork.

"This is about Roxy" Danielle announced immediately grabbing Jack's attention as he tried to work out exactly how much Danielle knew, or even if she knew anything at all. He readjusted his facial expression to prevent giving anything away, he would play innocent, let Danielle do the talking.

"Is Amy alright?" Jack asked, his furrowed brow creating the perfect expression of false confusion.

"Jack I know what's going on between you and Roxy so stop pretending. I don't think you love her though, she's going to mess everything up for you and you're not really interested are you?" Danielle snapped, she couldn't believe she was stood here having a go at Jack Branning but now she finally had her family she would do anything to make sure that they stayed together.

"Danielle... This isn't your business" Jack sighed, standing up he moved over to Danielle's side, watching her get upset he felt a pang of guilt and awkwardly wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Ronnie had almost gotten home before she'd realised she'd left her mobile phone sitting in the office, walking back she almost barged straight into the office but paused when she saw the sight of Jack with his arm around a girl... Her daughter. Pushing the door slightly so as to create a gap she strained to hear the conversation.

"I can't lie to my mum Jack... You need to tell her exactly what's going on" Danielle sighed, she was so worried about what Roxy was doing she needed someone to tell her everything was going to be ok.

"I promise you... I'm not playing games here Danielle" Jack assured, though in his mind he wondered whether this was a claim he could really make, part of him relished the thought of Ronnie finding out about him and Roxy, the reaction and the fireworks it would create.

"So it's love?" Danielle asked, narrowing her eyes at Jack she wasn't quite sure she believed him.

"It's love... And your mum will understand ok? I'll talk it all over with her, make promises never to hurt her 'little girl'." Jack smiled reassuringly, rolling his eyes which made Danielle burst out laughing. His lies were so smooth Danielle couldn't help but feel at ease.

That was all Ronnie could take, she couldn't quite believe what she'd heard, what it meant. Darting away it wasn't until she got outside the club that she started to breathe again. Her heart was racing, surely Danielle wouldn't? Surely Jack wouldn't? The two of them together made Ronnie feel physically sick. Walking away from the club in a daze Ronnie was completely unaware of just how wrong she'd gotten things, believing that Jack's mystery woman was Danielle when in fact it was Roxy who was getting away with lies and betrayal yet again.

"Well Roxy's supposed to be a grown up now, I was hoping she was going to start acting sensible" Danielle chuckled in response to Jack's 'little girl' comment.

"Yeah, I suppose the only 'little girl' in your mums life now is you" Jack winked.

"Jack... I'm sorry for just barging in here and having a go at you" Danielle smiled walking towards the door preparing to leave. Thinking of all the ways she could apologise to Roxy.

"You were just trying to protect your family... Me and Roxy will have a proper talk about things, work out how to talk to your mum." Jack assured, oh yes he couldn't wait for the explosions that he believed would send Ronnie running straight back to him.

"Ok" Danielle nodded. She would keep it from Ronnie for now, give Roxy and Jack a chance to talk to her.

"Danni, you know that whatever happens... She adores you ok?" Jack smiled, getting the daughter onside wouldn't hurt would it he thought.

**Sooooo sorry for the lack of updates, i've had the idea all ready in my head but not the time or energy to actually get it written down. Anyway thank you so much for all the reviews as usual, you know they mean the world to me :D**


	80. The Liar Is You

_The two little girls were dressed identically, their blonde hair both tied in bunches, their sparkling blue eyes shone out they were a picture. Due at a family even in less than an hour the elder sister was sighing as she examined the massive rip in her younger sisters tights. "Dads going to be angry at me isn't he?" Roxy frowned thrusting her bottom lip forward. "Don't worry, we'll swap" Ronnie smiled gently, only worrying that her tights would be too big for her little sister. Pulling on the ripped pair Ronnie sighed as she watched Roxy admire herself in the mirror. Suddenly realising that their father had entered the room Ronnie prepared herself for what was to come. "You're always trying to show me up Veronica aren't you?! Well I tell you something you can forget all about this party, if you can't even make an effort for me then you don't deserve to go!" Archie snapped, picking up Roxy in his arms he walked out the room leaving Ronnie all alone. Sometimes it wasn't easy protecting Roxy, but she was determined to always do it._

It was the most bizarre feeling of confusion, mixed up emotions and a complete and utter lack of words. Her heart kept telling her that she was wrong, that it wasn't what it seemed but at the same time her head was forcing her to relive that image of Jack, his arms wrapped around her little girl. _"It's love... And your mum will understand ok?" _Just the thought made her feel sick, what was Jack doing? Trying to collect the full set?!

Reaching the front door Ronnie sighed, bizarrely enough the person that she wanted to talk to most about this, the person who's advice she needed was the same person who'd hurt her by doing exactly what Danielle was doing now. Trudging into the bedroom Ronnie slumped down onto the bed next to Roxy who was already lying down staring up at the ceiling. Feeling slightly unnerved by Ronnie's presence and more so by the fact that Roxy could instantly tell that something was wrong she shifted slightly away from her big sister.

"Jack's got a new girlfriend" Ronnie announced brushing away her hair she turned her head slightly to face Roxy who was still staring straight ahead at the ceiling. She wondered if Jack had said anything to her, a brief word exchanged as she handed over Amy?

"Didn't think that would bother you" Roxy said feeling her voice shake as she said it. She didn't meet Ronnie's eyes too terrified that they'd give everything away in just the smallest of glances.

"It wouldn't bother me if he wasn't dating somebody so close to home..." Ronnie sighed, saying out loud was like admitting it was really happening.

Roxy could have jumped up and ran right there and then, it was obvious Ronnie knew what was going on so why wasn't she screaming and shouting? Her mind tried to run through a million excuses, so many things to say, all the words of defense she'd conjured up everytime she lay in Jack's arms. Sadly she didn't feel 'I slipped and fell on his...' was quite going to cut it.

"Ronnie I can explain" Roxy started reaching out to grab hold of Ronnie's arm as if to steady herself, prevent her from falling and to hold back Ronnie. After her slap from Danielle, Roxy wasn't sure she could handle anyone else hitting her today.

"What? You knew?!" Ronnie gasped pulling herself up she looked over at a guilty looking Roxy, how could Roxy keep something like this to herself?

"What?" Roxy mumbled her brain aching now as she felt herself get more and more confused with each and every passing second, she couldn't work out what was happening it all seemed like such a mess. Pulling herself up next to Ronnie she tried to work out exactly what was going on in her big sisters head

"About Jack and Danielle?!" Ronnie announced with an exasperated whimper, saying it out loud was like admitting that it was real, that it was actually happening that her daughter would do the exact thing that had almost destroyed Ronnie and Roxy's relationship.

"Jack and..." Roxy gasped trying to catch up with exactly what Ronnie was saying. "Hang on... What's going on?" Roxy babbled.

"You just made out like you knew?... I heard her asking him if it was 'love' Roxy.... She's my daughter! But I couldn't even barge in there and rip off his head because i'm so terrified of pushing her even further away!" Ronnie admitted, rubbing at her face Roxy watched completely in shock as she worked out exactly what had happened. Danielle was in fact talking to Jack about her and Ronnie had just got it all wrong... This was throwing Ronnie completely off the scent.

Then suddenly it dawned on her, this was her escape, her chance to shift the suspicion onto someone else. Ronnie already thought it was Danielle that was sleeping with Jack so why couldn't she just keep on thinking that? Ronnie was too scared of losing Danielle to ever confront her daughter about what was supposedly happening. Roxy could have Jack without Ronnie ever knowing a thing.

"Look Ron you've got to let her make her own mistakes, she'll soon realise that Jack's not worth wasting her time on. But if you go and speak to her about it she'll just get angry and push you away. You can't lose her now babe" Roxy insisted, she could feel the stabbing guilt in her stomach but she couldn't back out now.

"I want to kill him" Ronnie admitted snapping angrily as she thought about Jack's hands on her daughter, those same hands that had caressed both her and her sister and it made her feel physically sick. She didn't even know how she'd face Danielle never mind act as if she knew nothing at all.

"How about I have a word with Jack? Get him to back off" Roxy smiled sympathetically holding onto Ronnie's trembling hand.

"Thanks Rox, if I get involved it'll just end badly... You're the best you know" Ronnie smiled wrapping her arms around her little sister and hugging her close as Roxy sighed silently cursing herself for her deception.

"I need to clear my head, i'm going for a walk" Ronnie muttered quietly pulling herself off the bed, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror _I look tired and old... No wonder he's gone for the younger model_... Ronnie thought immediately snapping herself out of it as she made her way out into the Square.

Early evening brought a calming silence to the Square, it was still hot outside and only slightly dark. Hearing giggling Ronnie craned her neck to see Bradley giving Bec a piggy back ride round the Square, her arms wrapped tightly around Bradley's neck they looked so carefree and happy and Ronnie couldn't help but smile.

"Makes you feel a bit sick doesn't it?" Stacey huffed standing next to Ronnie and she watched the romantic scene that was playing out in front of them.

"It's kind of sweet... If you like that kind of thing" Ronnie sighed, turning to Stacey and giving her an awkward smile. She noticed that Stacey looked a little hurt, she guessed it didn't matter if you thought you were completely over your ex, it still hurt to see them with someone else.

"You seen Dan tonight?" Stacey asked trying to change topic as Bradley and Bec disappeared out of sight.

"I was hoping you'd know where she was" Ronnie admitted, deciding that she'd try her hardest to get information out of her daughters best friend in the most subtle way she could.

"That girls lost on me recently, she's been a little distant" Stacey sighed trying to figure out Ronnie's expression, searching for problems and hoping that Danielle really was ok.

"Do you know if she's seeing someone?" Ronnie asked gulping as she realised she'd just thrown subtlety completely out the window.

"Danielle? No, not as far as I know. Why has she mentioned someone?" Stacey questioned slightly surprised she tried to rack her brains for anything that Danielle might have mentioned or hinted at earlier but truely there wasn't a single thing she could think of.

"Stacey... Has she ever said anything to you about liking Jack?" Ronnie blurted out nervously, yep she was officially as subtle as a large elephant standing in the centre of the Minute Mart.

Stacey looked Ronnie up and down trying to figure out if she was serious before determining that she was and bursting out laughing at just how ridiculous the suggestion was. "Ronnie... Oh god Ronnie I know you've got a crap taste in blokes but I don't think things like that are inherited!!" Stacey giggled as Ronnie stood frowning.

"I saw it with my own eyes" Ronnie insisted trying to stop Stacey from ridiculing her. She crossed her arms at least attempting to look intimidating but Stacey wasn't having any of it.

"What did you see? Come on Ronnie be serious for a minute, this is Danielle we're talking about. You know sweet little Danni who's only been with one bloke in her whole life and we all know what happened there..." Stacey sighed rolling her eyes at Ronnie, she couldn't believe that Ronnie could even entertain the thought for a second.

"Ok Stace there are certain things a mother really doesn't need to know about her daughter" Ronnie interrupted putting up a hand to signal that Danielle's sex life really was an area she was quite happy to stay in the dark about.

"Right the point i'm making though is that Danielle is not going to be sleeping with Jack bloody Branning, if you want to suspect anyone in your family i'd say she's a bigger probability" Stacey joked pointing to Roxy who was rushing across the Square completely unaware that she was being watched as she headed to Jack's flat. "Oh god... Ronnie I was only joking but..." Stacey muttered as she watched Jack open his door pulling Roxy inside.

"I think you might have hit the nail on the head" Ronnie gulped watching Roxy lean in to kiss Jack before looking around and then darting inside.

The two women stood completely still, Stacey didn't dare say a word and Ronnie couldn't quite manage speech so they settled for an awkward silence. Glancing at her watch Stacey remembered that her mum was cooking her infamous 'sausage surprise' and was sure that she wouldn't appreciate Stacey skipping dinner. "I've got to go Ronnie... You going to be alright?" Stacey asked, it wasn't often you saw Ronnie Mitchell lost for words.

"See you later Stacey" Ronnie muttered walking off back towards the house. Her mind went into overdrive, rummaging through Roxy's bag which she'd left sitting in her room Ronnie quickly located Roxy's mobile finding on it more than enough evidence. Sitting alone in Roxy's bedroom she waited and waited until almost an hour later Roxy reappeared.

"Feeling better babe?" Roxy asked with a smile, sitting down on the bed she failed to notice the way that Ronnie flinched the moment she got close. An idea had already formed in Ronnie's head.

"Meet me at the club in half an hour will you?" Ronnie plastered on a fake smile. "Come straight through to the office, i've got something to show you ok?" she insisted watching her little sister and wondering what had happened to her... Or had she always been like this and Ronnie was just too blind to see it?

"Sure thing" Roxy grinned "Hope it's a nice surprise" she giggled as Ronnie got up, adjusting her clothes in the mirror and brushing her hair. Roxy hunted for her bag, finding it and checking her phone excitedly.

"You'll love it..." Ronnie beamed, grabbing her handbag she headed towards the door, checking her phone she saw the text she'd been waiting for. Confirmation that Jack would be exactly where she wanted him... Thing with Roxy is you can tell her something till you're blue in the face but it's impossible to get through to her unless she can see it with her own two eyes.

Waiting ten minutes before making her appearance she pushed open the office door, ready to go through with her plan. Slinking over to Jack's desk she touched him gently on the shoulder watching the ripple of pleasure he got simply from the friendly contact.

"Hey... Working hard?" Ronnie smiled, her top was pulled down slightly showing off some cleavage she bent down to look at Jack's paperwork. "Is that from that supplier?" She questioned innocently, pouting slightly as she pretended she was engrossed in the figures.

"Yeah..." Jack answered, gulping slightly as he saw the lace of Ronnie's deep purple bra poking out of her top, he shifted in his chair awkwardly trying his hardest not to stare but finding it almost impossible not to.

"Do you think we can talk?" Ronnie asked, glancing up at the clock knowing that she was limited when it came to time, she was going to have to hope that Jack was as desperate as she assumed.

"What about..." Jack asked nervously. Pulling at his collar he watched the way that Ronnie flicked her hair and crossed her legs, he was so turned on right now, he prayed these were signals.

"That conversation we had... The one where you said you loved me" Ronnie reminded him with a sweet smile, her hand running along his bicep once again.

"The one where you told me you didn't give a damn" Jack grunted, the rawness of the embarrassment of rejection still playing on his mind.

"Maybe I was wrong..." Ronnie teased suggestively, leaning in closer to Jack he could smell her perfume now, it was the one he loved on her, the one he'd bought her when they were together.

"Ronnie what are you saying?" Jack stuttered letting himself be drawn into Ronnie, his own arm reaching out allowing his hand to touch Ronnie's, moving his hand up to her cheek he still wasn't sure if this was what she wanted.

"I'm saying you're single... I'm single..." Ronnie leaned in but she wouldn't be the one to kiss him, no it had to come from him.

"Come here you" Jack growled, pulling Ronnie down so that she was sat on his lap, kissing her hungrily he knew what he was doing was wrong but this was right, he was with the right sister at last.

"Do you love me Jack... Do you love me?" Ronnie asked pulling away, looking over her shoulder her eyes met Roxy who couldn't speak as she watched what was happening from the door.

"Yes I love you, you're the one Ronnie, you've always been the one" Jack smiled kissing Ronnie once again, kissing her neck running his hands over her body she quickly grabbed hold of his wrists stopping them from roaming any further.

Roxy stood watching horrified, coughing to make her presence known to Jack. Ronnie quickly leaped up from Jack's lap. Wiping her lips she turned to Roxy.

"He doesn't give a damn about you" Ronnie sighed, walking over to her sister. "How does it feel being used Jack?" Ronnie asked a wide eyed Jack who sat looking horrified as he realised that Ronnie had tricked him.

"You bastard" Roxy whispered, her eyes filling with tears she ran over and slapped Jack before darting out the office, Ronnie was quick to follow.

"Rox" she shouted catching up with her sister she pulled her back. She hadn't expected Roxy to cry...

"You've proven your point alright?! I just want to forget this ever happened" Roxy sniffed, rubbing at her mascara stained cheeks, her whole body shook as she was flooded with guilt and embarrassment.

"It's not as simple as that... I want you out my house" Ronnie insisted, her voice cold and unfeeling as she dismissed her sister from her life.

"You don't want Jack! And Jack doesn't want me! Why can't we just forget about this? I'm the one who's ended up looking stupid ok? He loves you so there's no need for you to get jealous!" Roxy spat, shaking with anger.

"You think I give a damn about you letting Jack get his leg over? You think I care about your pathetic sex life? You think that i'm bothered by you fawning over a bloke that doesn't even care about you?! Roxy you are very much mistaken... But the minute you brought my daughter into this was the moment you crossed the line. I can't forgive you for letting me believe that it was her" Ronnie hissed, she could barely even meet Roxy's eyes all she wanted to do was find Danielle and hold her close, because doubting her even for a few minutes made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Ronnie I can explain! It was you that thought it! I just didn't let you think any differently" Roxy desperately tried to defend her actions knowing how upset Ronnie was and how serious this feeling was.

"You're a selfish bitch Roxy, you always have been and to be honest i'm sick of it. I'm sick of you using me and there's no way i'll let you use my daughter." Ronnie shouted storming off out of the club she marched across the Square, Roxy desperately trying to catch up. She could talk Ronnie round, she knew she could.

"Ronnie come back! Ronnie please I can explain alright?!" Roxy called, realising that people were watching this little scene that was taking place. Including her mother who grabbed her arm.

"Roxy don't" Glenda warned, pulling Roxy over to the bench and sitting her down Roxy explained everything that had happened to her mother.

"What the hell do I do now?" Roxy asked sadly, staring at her feet she wasn't sure there was anything she could do. She'd lost everything.

"Come with me" Glenda insisted grabbing hold of Roxy's hand she held on tightly, a determined look in her face she quickly formulated a plan.

"What?" Roxy asked slightly confused about what Glenda was suggesting _go where? _She thought.

"You've got a passport haven't you? Well come with me, let the dust settle darling" Glenda grinned.

"Australia?" Roxy stuttered hardly able to believe what her mother was saying.

Glenda nodded and to both their surprises Roxy nodded as well...

**Well i've been completely uninspired recently, hence the lack of updates but after a kick up the bum from Adia Rose who also suggested part of this chapter which in turn managed to get my imagination going into overdrive I managed to write. Anyway quite a long chapter which will hopefully make up for how slow i've been with updates. As always thanks everyone for reviews and support, it's a great help :D**


	81. Connected

"Wow... She's really gone hasn't she?" Bec sighed looking round Roxy's room with Danielle, the two of them had gone through Roxy's wardrobe and found most of it had gone. Bec watched as Danielle picked up Amy's knitted toy from the floor and held it close.

"Amy will be freaking out without this" Danielle worried "how the hell could Roxy just forget it, she knows it's her favourite." Danielle was almost pacing the room she was so freaked out, it had all happened so suddenly, everything was ripped apart.

"Guess she was in a rush" Bec frowned touching Danielle's arm she could see just how upset she was. Neither of them were completely sure what had happened though Danielle had a good idea what it was about. All they really knew was what Ronnie had told them, that Glenda, Roxy and Amy had gone.

Sitting round the room they simply stared at a space which was missing Roxy's unmistakeable personality and presence. As the two girls sat sadly on Roxy's bed, Ronnie pushed open the door. Ignoring their confused and upset faces she simply gathered up the rest of her things to move back into her own room.

"Mum..." Danielle started trying to get Ronnie to talk. Ronnie eventually stopped but she didn't know what she could possibly say to make this situation any better. Danielle simply handed her Amy's toy knowing that it would trigger some kind of emotional response. It had the desired effect, it was almost as if what had happened had only just hit Ronnie, shaking slightly Ronnie suddenly saw herself missing out on Amy's life just like she had with Danielle's.

"I'm going to head off, see Bradley" Bec whispered to Danielle, excusing herself from the room to leave mother and daughter to talk. The room was awkward enough and all Bec wanted to do was get away, later on she was determined to call Roxy and find out everything but right now she didn't even want to think about it.

"Sit" Danielle commanded patting the empty space on the duvet next to her, Ronnie did as she was told but she still looked a little in shock, like she hadn't properly registered everything that had happened, like she hadn't actually expected Roxy to go or if she did she only expected her to go to the Vic not the other side of the world.

Ronnie sat holding Amy's toy, stroking it softly. "She'll be lost without this" Ronnie muttered quietly.

"Did you find out about Jack, is this why she's gone?" Danielle interrupted, she needed answers and it was the only thing she could think of. The texts... Jack promising to tell Ronnie everything and now Roxy was gone. Danielle started blaming herself as if she was at fault for not lying and keeping it covered up like Roxy had begged her to, maybe if she had everyone would still me here.

"It's not as simple as that..." Ronnie sighed, rubbing her forehead she so desperately didn't want to tell Danielle what the real reason was. She didn't want to have to reveal that she'd doubted her daughter.

"What happened? Come on you might as well tell me. I know it had something to do with Jack." Danielle pushed, it didn't make sense how closed off Ronnie was being. She could tell that something was wrong.

"I thought someone else was sleeping with Jack and Roxy let me believe it" Ronnie muttered, she felt her cheeks burn red with embarrassment. She was searching for a way to get out of revealing the truth.

"Why would that matter? Who did you think it was?" Danielle questioned, still utterly confused and lost with what Ronnie was trying to explain.

"Just forget it ok" Ronnie insisted bowing her head slightly she turned away from Danielle unwittingly giving Danielle the answer she was looking for.

"You thought it was me sleeping with Jack..." Danielle gasped finally working out what Ronnie was trying to say

"I... I didn't know what to think, I saw you and him together in the office, the things you were saying..." Ronnie trailed as she noticed the hurt and pain embedded in Danielle's glare, it was almost disbelief as she tried to work out whether her mother was truely serious.

"Oh come on you're Ronnie Mitchell why wouldn't you barge in there screaming and shouting? Why wouldn't you just ask me? Why would you think that i'd do that?!" Danielle snapped, she could barely calm herself down she was just so frustrated with her mother.

"Don't you get it i'm terrified of losing you! I'm terrified of pushing you away and you don't think going in their screaming the odds would have done that?!" Ronnie retaliated

"You would have just sat back while I had a relationship with him?" Danielle questioned intrigued by just how far Ronnie would have gone for her, it was that peculiar sight of seeing Ronnie so exposed, so willing to do anything for her. Despite the pain of her mother doubting her there was something oddly reassuring in Ronnie's actions.

"No... Yes... I don't know what I would have done, the thought of the two of you together made me sick" Ronnie cringed, she truely couldn't stand even talking about it.

"But you didn't even know if it was true" Danielle challenged trying to work out exactly what part of her and Jack's conversation Ronnie had caught to come to the conclusion she had.

"Roxy confirmed it..." Ronnie sighed exasperated, she didn't have any explanation other than that she'd caught the wrong end of the stick and her sister had backed this up to protect her own guilty secret.

"That's why you made her leave?" Danielle asked as finally all the pieces fitted together and made sense at last.

"She lied to me about you, after everything with dad I just can't have that, I love you too much, I just want us to have a normal relationship" Ronnie insisted, she felt her heart aching when she thought about Archie and what he'd done.

"How can we ever have a normal relationship when you're too scared to ever say a bad word to me?" Danielle questioned, puzzled by just how much power she seemed to possess here, it wasn't power she was comfortable having.

"Tell me what i'm supposed to do? Be a bitch? I just want to be your mum and i'm still learning how to do that." Ronnie smiled taking Danielle's hand she wished she had all the answers, all the perfect solutions.

"But what about Roxy?" Danielle asked, she couldn't forget about Roxy however hard she tried, it was horrible being apart from her aunt and Amy.

"What about her? I've told you before that no-one is going to stand in the way of us, my own sister was prepared to potentially destroy our relationship just so that she could carry on her sordid little affair. What was I supposed to do, give her a hug and tell her everything's ok?" Ronnie complained, she hated the way that she was beginning to look like the bad guy here. She was just trying to protect her child in a way she'd failed to do up until now.

"No... but she's just a little far away" Danielle sighed, she knew that Ronnie had been right to put her foot down with Roxy, she knew just how much Roxy liked to take advantage of Ronnie but it didn't change the fact that she couldn't just nip in and give her adorable little cousin a kiss goodnight.

"I didn't mean for that, I thought she'd go to the Vic and stay with Auntie Peggy, didn't realise mum was quite so keen to get away" Ronnie puzzled... Why exactly was Glenda quite so keen on getting Roxy away?

***

"...Well after I hung out with you last night I went and found Danielle, we were sat in the cafe for ages talking and then by the time we got home it was late so we just went to sleep. Anyway we're sat at breakfast this morning and Ronnie just comes in and announces that mum, Roxy and Amy are gone... No explanation or anything. So Dan and me went to check it out and literally Roxy's bedroom is almost empty, all her clothes are gone, all of Amy's things are gone and thats it."

"Your family's very complex isn't it" Bradley noted with a sympathetic smile, he was sat leaning back in his computer chair whilst Bec sat cross legged on his bed looking deep in thought.

"Oh and yours isn't" Bec teased registering what Bradley had said as she snapped out of her trance. It was hardly a well kept secret that Max had gotten 'friendly' with Stacey or that Tanya had got together with Jack after splitting up with Max... The Branning's had their own complexities and issues.

"Well... Yeah alright but does Uncle Jack know that Roxy's taken Amy?" Bradley asked worrying about Jack's reaction, he'd already lost Penny and he was so determined to be a part of Amy's life that her being in a whole other country was never going to end well.

"I'm assuming not, I don't want to be the one to tell him either he's going to go mental." Bec sighed picking at some fluff on her socks.

"Well you can hang around here as long as you like, i'm sure Grandma won't mind" Bradley smiled knowing that Bec needed somewhere away from all the drama, somewhere she could forget about everything and have fun.

"Thanks Bradley, i'm just letting Dan sort out Ronnie, try and work out exactly what happened. Think it's best if I keep away, don't even know if I should still be hanging around now that mums gone." Bec pondered, brushing her hair out her eyes she had voiced the concerns that had been spinning round her head since the moment she'd found out her mum and Roxy had gone.

"You lived here before your mum came remember? This is your home it's where you belong" Bradley insisted, the panic in his voice obvious as he jumped up and moved over to the bed, sitting on the edge he reached out and grabbed Bec's hand.

"It's just weird though, without Roxy I just feel like a bit of a spare part." Bec sighed, wrapping her fingers around Bradley's and holding on tight.

"Bec please stay... I mean it" Bradley whispered, looking into Bec's eyes he could see a future, he saw someone that was down to earth and fun and he didn't want to lose it before it had even properly begun.

"I don't want to leave" Bec admitted with a small smile.

"Then don't" Bradley grinned trying to offer the perfect answer, he wanted to sound like the lead character in some romantic film but he didn't feel he quite pulled it off. It didn't seem to matter though, he never felt like he had to try and be something he wasn't with Bec.

"I wish things were easy, they never seem to get any better in that house" Bec sighed, she didn't think her family had ever heard of the concept of serenity or peace.

"Well I have something to cheer you up" Bradley muttered, he looked a little embarrassed.

"What is it?" Bec asked intrigued she didn't think there was anything that could cheer her up but Bradley had this determined little smile on his face she was willing to go along with it.

"Oh it's embarrassing" Bradley blushed reaching under his bed for the badly wrapped present. "I saw it this morning when I was out and I kind of just bought it... Well I thought i'd wait a bit before giving it to you but well now seems like a good time because you're all stressed and well...Open it"

"Oh my god... Oh he's so cute!" Bec squealed as she unwrapped a goofy faced bear, unconventionally cute he was absolutely perfect as Bec squeezed him tight to her chest stroking his soft, fluffy fur.

"Thought you'd like him" Bradley grinned, he loved seeing the smile on Bec's face and he loved it even more knowing that he was the one that had created it.

"Why are you so perfect?" Bec asked, letting the bear fall to the bed she wrapped her arms around Bradley's neck, staring into his eyes as if she was genuinely trying to find an answer, as if right now was too perfect to believe.

"Oh well it's a mixture of..." Bradley began to explain, teasing Bec.

"Oh shut up Bradley" Bec smiled silencing him with a kiss she held Bradley so close she could feel his racing heart. That safe feeling of ecstasy, an unbelievable pull to someone who just seemed so right.

"Turn him round... This isn't for his young innocent bear eyes" Bradley laughed breaking away slightly as waited for Bec to turn Mr. Bear around, the two of them burst out into a fit of giggles before finding each others lips once again.

***

"Do you think Roxy will come back?" Danielle asked as she snuggled up close to Ronnie on the sofa as Ronnie flicked through the channels trying to find something for the two of them to watch.

"I think it's inevitable, this is Roxy we're talking about. Mum will get sick and tired of looking after Amy whilst Roxy lives it up sooner or later" Ronnie sighed, though truth was she wasn't sure if Roxy would come back. After what had happened, after what she'd done to Roxy, showing her up in the worst way she could she didn't think Roxy would want to face her. She was still so furious at her sister but at the same time they had such an undeniable bond, it was closer than any other siblings she knew, they'd grown up relying on each other and to even think about spending their lives permanently apart made Ronnie ache. Taking comfort in the one thing that she had realised she could put her faith in she pulled Danielle closer and promised herself she would never doubt her daughter again.

"We're going to be ok aren't we?" Danielle asked, Ronnie couldn't help but love that wide eyed innocence that her daughter possessed. It was a purity that she could never remember having, everything about Ronnie's life had always seemed to be tainted... Apart from Danielle, she was permanently a good thing.

"Sure we are, it'll be just like when we were back in the flat." Ronnie reminded her, that strange good time, before things had got so complicated.

"Well that's if we ever see much of Bec again" Danielle laughed as she finished reading a text on her phone from Bec that told Danielle that she was going to stay round Bradley's for a little longer.

"Those two sort of came out of nowhere didn't they?" Ronnie smiled relaxing as she realised that at least one person in this family had finally got themselves sorted out and happy. Ronnie could keep calm knowing her sister was with someone she could trust.

"They're too cute!" Danielle grinned "I think she needs someone sensible and secure in her life."

"As Branning's go I think she's picked a good one" Ronnie nodded, cuddling her daughter close all she could think about was how she dreaded the day that Danielle came home with a boyfriend, she wanted to keep her little girl a bit longer yet before some man came and whisked her off her feet.

"Ooh keep this on I want to see the result" Danielle interrupted pointing to some reality show on the television, a crowd of people were gathered to see someone get booted off the show.

"I know I said i'd love you whatever but i'm not too sure now..." Ronnie teased motioning to the the television programme.

"Oy!" Danielle laughed wrapping her arms around her mother, trying to distract herself with the cute moment as she forced away any feelings of doubt that still lingered. As Ronnie kissed the top of Danielle's head she let herself finally relax, tomorrow was for worrying, tonight she just wanted to feel safe and loved.


	82. Cover My Eyes

"Right... Explain to me again what happens if I have three cards the same again?" Bec asked, sticking out her tongue in pure determination as she analysed the hand she held in front of her.

"Why do we bother playing cards when you don't understand the rules?" Danielle questioned, narrowing her eyes she couldn't help but laugh at Bec's expression.

"Because it's fun" Bec grinned, dropping her cards in the process. Leaning down to pick them up she was interrupted only by the sound of someone knocking. "You can get that" Bec smiled at Danielle.

"I can't go to the door in my pajamas!" Danielle gasped, there was no way she was going to open the front door wearing her turquoise pj's complete with fluffy sheep pattern. Her eyes begged Bec to do it instead.

"So am I!" Bec laughed pointing to her own pink zebra print pajamas, but sensing that there was no way that Danielle was going to budge on the issue simply sighed and made her way to the door. Smoothing down her hair as she passed the hallway mirror in an attempt to look at least halfway decent, Bec eventually reached the door and pulled it open. Immediately regretting doing so when she saw Jack standing in front of her.

"Is Roxy in?" Jack barked, he looked grumpy and tired, the bags under his eyes indicated he hadn't slept properly if at all and he was dressed down in sweats, it was strange not seeing him in a suit.

Bec shuffled nervously not knowing quite how to tell Jack exactly where Roxy and his daughter were at this exact moment in time. Deciding it was probably in her best interests to lie to him, somebody else could tell him the truth. "Not in" Bec smiled, well that technically was true.

"Well when will she be back?" Jack sighed rubbing at his eyes in some attempt to keep himself awake. He needed to do some serious damage control to guarantee a place in his daughters life. When he looked up again he could see behind Bec was Ronnie coming down the stairs, she stared for a second before turning her head away. She couldn't face Jack right now. "Ron! Ron!" Jack shouted as he saw Ronnie make her way back upstairs, pushing past Bec he barged his way up the stairs.

"Jack just leave" Ronnie muttered, running her hand through her hair she couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"Is Roxy here? Come on this is about my child Ronnie! I can't just walk away from Amy" Jack insisted, looking around he tried to get some indication that Roxy was around somewhere. He thought he'd of heard her by now, she wasn't exactly quiet especially when there was confrontation taking place.

"You should have thought of that before you messed Roxy around" Ronnie snapped, following Jack as he made his way through to Roxy's room. Pausing when he saw just how empty he was. Turning round to look at Ronnie, all she could do was bow her head as she watched the realisation spread across his face. Running to the wardrobe he slammed it fiercely when he found it was devoid of clothing. Pausing at Amy's cot he could see that her blankets were gone and in a rush of frustration kicked at it, breaking one of the wooden bars on the side. Ronnie flinched as she watched the scene.

"Where is she?" Jack shouted, tears springing up his eyes Ronnie could almost feel sorry for him. "Where's Amy?!" Pacing the room he pulled open each and every drawer desperately looking for a sign that Roxy and Amy were still around but finding nothing but disappointment.

"They've gone, Jack will you just leave. You're angry and upset and I don't want you in this house ok? Seriously Jack just leave, if you want to talk to Roxy then phone her." Ronnie insisted, she couldn't see Jack like this... Human, it wasn't normal.

"Where? Where is she?! Ronnie tell me!" Jack raged, his face burning red with anger as he lashed out knocking Roxy's lamp to the ground, Ronnie jumped out the way to prevent herself getting sprayed with the glass that leapt up as the the lamp hit the floor.

"Just get out, she's gone that's all i'll ever tell you!" Ronnie hissed, getting up in Jack's face, she was enjoying this ounce of power. Enjoying seeing him in pain, suffering because of his own selfish actions.

"Where is she?!" Jack snapped, grabbing Ronnie and pushing her as he did so. As she fell back against the door, slamming against the frame with the sheer force of his push she looked up shocked. Jack tried to step forward to pick Ronnie up but she flinched at the move. "Ron... I'm sorry, come on take my hand" Jack tried to force a smile, tried to show Ronnie that everything was ok but she was looking at him in a way she never had before.

"Just go" Ronnie muttered as she pulled herself up, as Jack stood rooted to the spot she suddenly snapped "now!" Seeing just how serious she was Jack tried once again to reach out to her.

"Ronnie it was an accident... Ron I was angry, come on you know i'd never hurt you on purpose don't you?" Jack begged as he exited the room, looking behind him as he did so and getting nothing but a hostile glare from Ronnie. Finally defeated Jack began to make his way down the stairs.

"She's in Australia, so get used to never seeing your daughter again!" Ronnie spat. Jack stopped dead in his tracks, unable to move or even breathe for a second before he continued down the stairs. Leaning against the door slightly he tried to steady himself. Hearing footsteps behind him he turned around to see Bec.

"This is mums phone number, you'll never get through on Roxy's mobile but there's a good chance she'll pick up on the home line" Bec sighed, as much as it pained her to do anything nice for Jack Branning, Amy was still his daughter.

"Thanks" Jack muttered, taking the piece of paper before leaving the house. Closing the door he could barely feel his legs, everything was rushing at him, all his big plans, every single devious action was coming back to haunt him. In the end he'd lost the only girl he really loved, his daughter.

"Well that sounded angry" Bec sighed, as Danielle packed away the cards. She didn't exactly feel like playing after everything that had happened. The two girls tidied up the room, straightening everything so that Ronnie had one less thing to worry about.

"I need to get out of here" Danielle declared, throwing down the packet of cards and grabbing her bag. There was just too much going on, she needed to clear her head. She hoped the cool air might serve to alleviate some of the stress that had weighed down the entire household these past couple of days. It was almost a determined march as she decided to head towards the tube station, knowing she would have to try and get past the market stalls before she could escape.

"Oy! Come over here" Stacey yelled as she saw Danielle passing by, spotting her friend Danielle smiled and made her way over to the stall. Standing nervously as a customer looked her up and down. Sadly for Danielle the 'girl who came back to life' was still very much a talking point.

"What's up Stace?" Danielle asked with a smile, she was hoping it wouldn't be much. Just a brief conversation before she could get on the tube and into central London, where everyone was anonymous, where she was just another girl and not the one everyone enjoyed talking about.

"Well i'm really bored, plus I could do with a hand. Come on Dan, stick around and help me out will you?" Stacey asked, flashing a big smile and hopeful doe eyes at her mate to try and convince her to stick around. In all honesty business was slower than ever and there was barely enough work to justify Stacey being there but still it was getting Danielle out of the house which surely had to be a good thing.

"I'm not sure..." Danielle trailed, eyeing all the other market traders she was sure every hushed word was about her. Perhaps it was paranoia or perhaps she really was as interesting as it appeared everyone thought she was.

"Seriously Dan, I need you and your fantastic way with the customers" Stacey pleaded, praying that flattery would win out in the end. Noticing how Danielle rolled her eyes before breaking out into a warm smile Stacey was sure she'd finally talked her round.

"Why do you need my help? I thought you could sell anything to anyone?!" Danielle teased, finally having the chance to turn round Stacey's many afternoons of bragging about her people skills and her ability to sell.

"Well I can, but you Dan are an invaluable tool" Stacey smiled "Example... Jane! Come over here a second will you?" Stacey yelled as Jane hovered outside the door to the cafe, looking around and hoping that there was someone else called Jane in the vicinity, Jane eventually sighed before making her way over.

"What's up Stacey?" Jane sighed, offering Danielle a small smile as Stacey bustled around in the racks of clothing, looking for something.

"Here it is!" Stacey hollered, pulling back she thrust a navy blue top in Jane's direction "I thought this would be perfect for you" Stacey smiled as Jane analysed the top and Stacey's motives.

"It's lovely Stacey, but I just haven't got any spare cash at the moment" Jane dismissed, thrusting the top back into Stacey's hands she tried to make her escape.

"Well because your a mate, 5% discount! Come on Jane this top was made for you!" Stacey insisted, holding the top up against Jane she nodded approvingly, nudging Danielle to do the same.

"Look it's still a bit pricey..." Jane trailed trying to back away from both the top and from Stacey, all she could think about was how Ian probably was getting a little agitated with the lunchtime rush right about now.

"See it's just been really hard recently... Danielle's had so many struggles but getting back out on this stall has really helped her, just seems a shame we're not making enough money. I don't want her locking herself inside that house again, too ashamed to come outside, it's terrible really" Stacey sighed, trying to make Danielle's sob story as sad as possible Stacey even forced out a couple of tears for dramatic effect. As Jane looked over at an increasingly uncomfortable and slightly horrified Danielle she gave a warm smile before digging in her pocket and thrusting the money into Stacey's hand.

The two girls watched as Jane bustled off back into the cafe, brand new top in hand. Stacey gave a smug grin before stuffing the money into her money belt.

"You just used all the pain and distress in my life to sell clothes didn't you?" Danielle asked, slightly astonished.

"Pretty much yeah" Stacey grinned, wrapping her arm around Danielle's shoulders the two girls burst out laughing at just how ridiculous it was. Danielle almost couldn't believe she was having fun but there she was, enjoying herself.

"Here comes Mrs Masood, think it'll work on her?" Danielle asked with a cheeky grin, scanning the racks she picked out a gruesome orange top that was way overpriced.

"Only one way to find out!" Stacey laughed, stepping forward as she beckoned for Zainab to approach the stall.

***

With an armful of Ronnie's freshly washed and ironed clothes Bec made her way upstairs to put them on Ronnie's bed for her. Not bothering to knock she hadn't heard anything from Ronnie all day and assumed that she'd gone out. Pushing the door open she saw Ronnie stood in her bra, looking over her shoulder at her back in the mirror. A dirty purple bruise had already formed where she'd hit the door with such a force. Noticing it immediately before Ronnie could grab a top from off the bed Bec rushed over.

"What the hell have you done to your back?!" Bec gasped, the closer she got the worse it looked. Touching it gently she watched as Ronnie noticeably flinched with pain.

"Oh you know how clumsy I am" Ronnie dismissed, smiling she pulled her top on taking the pile of clothes from Bec gratefully.

Bec smiled slightly unsure but carried on anyway, she had a couple of things or Roxy's that had been left behind in the wash basket which she'd cleaned with the rest of the clothes. Moving onto Roxy's room to put them on her bed for whenever she decided to return Bec was shocked at the state of the room, the smashed lamp, drawers pulled out and the bars on Amy's cot snapped and destroyed. Her memory suddenly recalled something from earlier.

"_Ronnie it was an accident... Ron I was angry, come on you know i'd never hurt you on purpose don't you?"_

She'd overheard it but assumed at the time he was talking about all the business with Roxy, now looking at the state of Roxy's room the bruise on Ronnie's back took on a whole new meaning. Walking back to Ronnie's room, her sister was now sat on the edge of the bed.

"That wasn't an accident was it?" Bec asked.


	83. Sympathetic Lies

It was an uncomfortable silence, Ronnie could see the concern etched on her little sisters face but didn't want to make a big deal out of what had happened. If anything, Ronnie had convinced herself, it was an deserved punishment for what she'd done. The more she thought about her 'seduction' of Jack the more ashamed she felt, she couldn't shift the image of Roxy's face, that shock and hurt. Of course she could stand around listing the many things that Roxy had done to her over the years but somehow it wasn't making her feel any better. "What happened, it was nothing. Really" Ronnie dismissed hoping in vain that Bec would let it drop. The girl was a Mitchell though, of course things weren't going to be that easy.

"I heard Jack apologising. He was apologising for hitting you wasn't he?" Bec questioned, trying to figure Ronnie out, she was sat there looking so calm it was almost eery. The Ronnie Bec thought she knew was strong and would have ripped Jack's head off the second he even tried to lay a finger on her. Maybe Jack had done this before... Panic flooded her.

"It was a push, nothing at all really. He was just angry, it was an accident" Ronnie insisted, hating how even Bec's stance was the same as Roxy's would have been in this situation. Painful similarities that reminded her that her other sister wasn't and probably wouldn't be around for a long time. There had been so many times over the years she'd wished she could get rid of Roxy, always assumed things would be better without her. It was only now she was really gone that she realised that Roxy was a part of her, bad bits included.

"Oh god and I..." Bec trailed remembering what she'd given Jack earlier on she couldn't believe she'd shown him even an ounce of compassion when he more than certainly didn't deserve it.

"What?" Ronnie asked raising her eyebrow intrigued by Bec's sudden panic. What could have shaken her up so much? She really looked worried by whatever it was, and whatever it was was clearly connected to Jack.

"I thought maybe he could bring Roxy home, I thought maybe if he threatened her with legal action over Amy or something then it would scare her into coming back... So I gave mums home number to him" Bec admitted, bowing her head she felt slightly ashamed of what she'd done. It was worse now knowing what Jack had done to Ronnie but at the same time the hope was still there.

Ronnie didn't reply, she couldn't muster up the energy to argue with Bec she simply sighed and gave Bec the standard big sister glare that indicated she didn't want to go any further with the matter. Seeing the look of concern and hurt on Bec's face Ronnie eventually spoke. "You really miss her don't you?" Ronnie sighed, picking at her nails she couldn't look at Bec, she simply chose to sidestep Bec handing over Glenda's phone number, part of her hoped that it would mean that Roxy would come home as well.

"We're a family" Bec insisted desperately craving normality, when Roxy was around things were just easier because she didn't feel so alone. She wanted to talk to someone, she wanted someone to share things with. It was as if this invisible wall had been built up between her and Ronnie that just didn't exist with her and Roxy.

"She's gone too far this time" Ronnie sighed remembering that she needed to stay strong, needing to keep in mind just how many problems Roxy had caused.

"She goes too far everytime" Bec smiled loosely hoping that it made Ronnie smile as well. If she couldn't see just how much Ronnie wanted Roxy back she'd find it easier to just sit back and let them deal with it themselves.

"That might seem cute for the first few months but trust me when you've put up with as many years of it as I have it starts to wear a little thin" Ronnie moaned, it was as if all she ever did was forgive Roxy for something. Roxy was an adult, she needed to start acting like one.

"I know she isn't perfect" Bec muttered slightly annoyed by Ronnie's refusal to budge, what was it with Mitchell's and stubbornness? How could she ever make things better and normal when Ronnie was so determined to stay angry.

"That night, the night that you needed her she was probably with Jack you know that right? She didn't just let me down she let Danielle down and you down. All of us got hurt because of her selfishness" Ronnie snapped trying to get Bec to stop defending Roxy, everytime Bec painted Roxy as the victim it made Ronnie feel more and more guilty.

"It doesn't matter anymore it's all in the past, Jack was using her!" Bec sighed refusing to give up on the hope that she could repair her fractured family. As much as it annoyed her that Ronnie was right.

"She shouldn't have expected anymore from him" Ronnie muttered bitterly, she'd certainly learnt the hard way that Jack could never live up to anyones expectations. He would always end up letting you down.

_Christmas day would always hold a different meaning to Ronnie now. Hearing that Sean wasn't Amy's biological father was hardly surprising, in fact Ronnie had been smugly pleased that her niece wasn't the offspring of a psycho. She'd comforted her sister, tried to make her feel better about her little indiscretion because that's what sisters did. They protected and watched over. It was hard feeling Roxy's pain when she was so happy herself, her and Jack back together and last and she was so sure that this time it would last, they'd get married, have kids, have a life at last because they were destined to be. Two hearts, beating together. Then Ronnie's world stopped, Sean worked it out before she did, how could she have missed those looks? Jack was Amy's father._

"You fell for him once upon a time" Bec reminded her gently, guessing that the situation had more to do with Ronnie's old feelings for Jack than Ronnie would let herself believe.

"Look Rebecca will you please just drop it, what happened happened and I just want to forget about it, all you need to do is forget what you saw and don't say a word to anyone... Especially not to Danielle" Ronnie insisted, the last things she wanted was for Danielle to be panicking about her, she had enough going on without this on top.

"She's your daughter! She's allowed to worry about you when she finds out some blokes knocked you about! Why would you keep something like that from her?" Bec enquired, her voice giving away her obvious concern. When would Ronnie learn that being straight up and honest with Danielle was the only way they were ever going to have a normal relationship. Once again she was caught in the middle of a situation she wished she had nothing to do with.

"Jack pushed me, that was it. Nothing more. Danielle would just get upset and she has enough to worry about without me adding to it" Ronnie sighed, glaring at her sister again she'd had the final word. Nothing would be said, what Jack did was to be forgotten right here, right now.

"Oh I give up" Bec muttered leaving Ronnie to it, tapping out a quick message to Bradley she felt she needed to see at least one smiling face today and she certainly wasn't going to find one in this house.

***

"Danielle you are literally my lucky charm, how about tonight we go and spend some of our fabulous profit on an amazing night out?" Stacey laughed flicking through the wad of cash in her money belt.

"Maybe" Danielle smiled nervously not wanting to commit to anything, going out meant tiny tops and short skirts in Stacey's world and there was no way of covering up her scars in those.

"Dan i'm serious how long has it been since we've been out, just you and me getting drunk and chatting up fit guys? I really need it, especially after these" Stacey sighed remembering what she'd received in the post that morning, pulling out the envelope from under a magazine Stacey shoved it into Danielle's hands.

Opening up the envelope Danielle took a look inside before pulling the papers out, Stacey's divorce papers... No wonder she wanted a night of fun and freedom, Danielle almost felt guilty refusing her best friend.

"Maybe a night in would be better? Come on we can get a movie and order some takeaway, big girly night. Thought you'd have had enough of guys" Danielle smiled encouragingly, it was a way she could spend time with Stacey and cheer her up whilst still staying in control and keeping her secrets covered up.

"Hmm maybe. Danielle you really haven't learnt the perks of having a mum who owns a club yet have you?" Stacey teased nudging Danielle the two girls were laughing away until Danielle noticed Stacey abruptly stop.

Walking into the Minute Mart were Bec and Bradley, the sight immediately filling Stacey with jealousy and the next thing she knew it had just overtaken her. Flying off she marched into the Minute Mart behind them, Danielle quickly shoved the money bag at a fellow stall owner and ran after Stacey.

"Ooh Jaffa Cakes! How romantic?" Stacey mocked, poking around in Bradley's basket. "Thought these would be more your style" Stacey laughed chucking a box of paracetamol at Bec.

"Stacey what the hell are you doing? This isn't you, you don't act like this" Danielle muttered pulling Stacey aside, it wasn't easy trying to stop Stacey at the best of times but now things were even worse.

"I'm sick and tired of all these happy couples rubbing it in my face! Come on Dan I just want to have a good time!" Stacey demanded tearing out of the Minute Mart with Danielle desperately trying to keep up.

"Stacey! Stacey come on the stall!" Danielle shouted as Stacey marched off. What had just happened? One minute she was Stacey, the next it was like a scene out of Fatal Attraction.

"She's gone again" Mo groaned popping up behind Danielle, grabbing the money belt from the stall owner who'd been covering Mo did what she'd be doing quite a lot recently and stepped in.

"How often has this been happening?" Danielle asked nervously, not sure if she should follow Stacey or not.

"Oh whenever she feels like going out or going shopping, you're supposed to be her best friend Danielle maybe you should have been paying a bit more attention. Girl's out of control I tell you, me and Charlie are at our wits end!" Mo grumbled watching as Danielle drifted away.

Finally finding herself back home Danielle went and searched for her mum, maybe Ronnie could make sense of all of this. It had all happened too fast for Danielle to begin to understand. But once again she found herself alone and so desire began to take hold. She turned on the radio, tried to find something to distract her. She moved upstairs and down, rearranged a cupboard, sorted a pile of magazines and took the rubbish out. Mundane tasks that were supposed to occupy her mind. She even tidied her room which proved to be her biggest mistake. Now she was here and underneath her bed held her box of secrets, pulling it out as she had done day after the day she was finally in control, blade to skin and the beauty of her ruby blood mesmerizing her as it seeped from the carefully formed cut. She'd moved onto her legs, all round her ankles it was the perfect way of keeping her secret safe because Ronnie would only think to look at her arms. Carefully cleaned up and covered with a plaster, it was her very own ritual, a way of protecting her secret this time. As long as nobody knew she was perfectly fine, her biggest mistake last time was believing she needed fixing, needed help.

The tranquility of her actions was only interrupted by the shrill ring of the telephone that almost made her jump out of her skin, racing to answer the ringing phone, wincing slightly at the pain of standing, Danielle skidded to a halt as the ringing stopped and the caller began to leave a message. Freezing at the sound of his voice Danielle held her finger poised over the 'delete' button.

"_Danielle, it's Steven. Sorry about calling you at home and leaving a message it's just i'm a bit worried about you missing our session today. Look if you just forgot and want to reschedule just get in touch with my receptionist ok and i'll fit you in whenever you want. Make sure you give me a ring, just let me know everythings alright..."_

Only when the answering machine flashed 0 could Danielle finally breathe again, she would need to be more vigilant with the phone from now on. It was the only way to protect herself, protect her secret.

**Big sorry! I feel awful for taking so long to update but i've really been struggling also i've been working loads and i'm basically exhausted lol. I've got lots coming up though so I hope everyones still reading, i'm actually a little excited about a few things including some wonderful R&D fluff which I know has been missing recently. :D**


	84. Getting Closer

The scent of cooking was strong and filled the kitchen, rushing to have everything completed for when Ronnie and Bec returned home Danielle desperately tried to pull together all the elements of the recipe she was following. Quickly dicing a forgotten onion it was a complete accident when the knife slipped and sliced deeply into her thumb, staring at it in shock she realised what a different feeling it was when it wasn't her in control. Still the sight of her own blood amused her in a strange way, she was getting used to the stinging sensation of cuts, she almost enjoyed the constant ringing reminder of her secret that ached with every bend and stretch that pulled on her criss-cross marked skin. Each and every mark was special, each a reminder that she could control her pain, she could control how much she allowed herself to experience. It was so different to the pain that had been forced upon her from the day she was born.

Leaving the food to simmer, Danielle turned her attention to tidying up and setting the table. Unlike herself and Ronnie who were quite good at keeping things clean and organised, Bec was an uncontrollable tornado of clutter and mess. A pile of magazines were strewn across the table, the pages wrinkled where milk from breakfast had been spilt as Bec had attempted to read and eat simultaneously with little success. Lifting them up her attention was drawn to the bold lettering that ran across one of the magazines, a story entitled _'Are you happy?' _What a question, Danielle thought to herself. Who could truely answer yes? Surely everyone was dissatisfied with something, if not everything.

Snapping herself back into reality Danielle suddenly remembered that she had pans boiling, probably boiling over by now she thought rushing over turning down the heat and mopping up some of the mess. Feeling the heat of the kitchen Danielle began to roll up her sleeves, stopping when she remembered how hard she'd tried to keep them covered up before realising that there was no one around to judge her. She looked at her arms with a mixture of pride and disgust, all the little scars healing nicely, nothing fresh at all the perfect way to keep her secret protected.

"Something smells good" Ronnie's voice called, cutting through the silence there was always something a little surprising about hearing Ronnie happy, even hearing her at all because Danielle had spent so many months believing that it would never happen. Sometimes it all felt like a dream.

"Thought i'd cook us something nice, we can't keep surviving on takeout and ready meals" Danielle smiled, giving her mother a teasing glare when Ronnie dared to put her handbag down on Danielle's just laid table.

"Who's the mum here, me or you?" Ronnie asked with a raised eyebrow and a broad smile. Tidying her things away Ronnie spotted one of Roxy's shoes lying just outside of the shoe cupboard where Roxy would have kicked it off. It laid on the carpet, a lonely reminder of what had gone

"I spotted that the other day but I didn't pick it up, in fact i'm not going anywhere near it. Roxy's feet ming!" Bec joked as she walked through the front door to see Ronnie standing by the forgotten shoe. Giving Ronnie's hand a reassuring squeeze before heading into the kitchen, following the smell.

"Hope you're sticking around for dinner, i've made way too much as it is" Danielle groaned as she spotted Bec hunting around for food in the cupboards.

"Yeah i'm sticking around... Just looking for a snack" Bec mumbled, her head buried deep as she searched looking for something appetizing.

"We'll literally be eating in ten minutes" Danielle tutted pulling Bec out of the cupboard.

"Exactly. One little snack won't hurt" Bec smiled, a packet of crisps in her fist which Danielle tried to remove, tugging on the bag met by a firm resistance from Bec.

"You'll ruin your appetite! You've already had jaffa cakes" Danielle complained finally victorious as she hid the crisps away leaving Bec to pout with annoyance.

"Actually I didn't, wasn't really in the mood after the run in with your crazy mate" Bec sighed remembering the clear awkwardness after Stacey's performance in the Minute Mart. Bradley had tried to pretend it hadn't bothered him but it was obvious that he was concerned and that meant pulling away from Bec right at the point she needed assurance from him the most.

"Bec don't, she's just struggling with everything at the moment." Danielle defended though she was pretty sure it was falling on deaf ears. No one else could see what was happening but she was scared that she was too weak herself to do anything about it.

The meal was uneventful, normal and nice but the gaping space at the table was even more obvious now that Danielle had cleared away all the mess. The seat where Roxy should have been sitting, Amy's highchair unoccupied. Danielle was quiet and thoughtful, missing a comment from Bec to Ronnie about how her back was, a swift kick under the table from Ronnie to Bec's shin soon shut her up. There wasn't the playful banter that normally accompanied dinner, everyone was too busy locked up in their own little worlds.

"This is really lovely Danielle, we should get you to cook more often" Ronnie smiled breaking up the monotonous sound of chewing that was filling the room. Danielle smiled and nodded in agreement but said little else, Ronnie shot Bec a look that encouraged her to join in with the praise.

"Yeah this is awesome Dan, glad you wrestled those crisps off me, i'm stuffed with this" Bec smiled gratefully.

"Even if you'd had the crisps you'd have still cleared the plate, you are the human dustbin" Ronnie teased, offering the leftovers to Bec.

"Oh thanks! Always good to know I have such a nice supportive sister" Bec huffed before taking what was left and finishing it off, lobbing a bit of sauce at Ronnie as she did so.

Danielle gave a smile at the banter but it was clear she wasn't really there, lost in her own thoughts she had barely touched her food, moving it around with her fork. Bec shot a look to Ronnie who nodded subtly in acknowledgement.

"Well as much as i'd love to stick around and help with the washing up I have... Well better things to do, enjoy ladies!" Bec laughed, trying to make her exit not look too obvious, she needn't have worried Danielle barely registered that she'd left.

Having nowhere else to go, well other than to the Vic and Bec certainly couldn't deal with Peggy tonight, Bec decided to give Bradley another go, she couldn't help but feel nervous. Bradley opened the door and couldn't help but look surprised when he saw Bec standing in front of him, he almost felt guilty and ushered her into Dot's house incase Stacey saw. He didn't know why he felt this strong desire to protect Stacey but he couldn't help it. Bec felt this winding feeling of jealousy in the pit of her stomach that she wanted to force away but she couldn't help it, it was human nature.

"Didn't think i'd see you anymore today" Bradley smiled, ushering Bec into the living room there was a strange and awkward tension that hadn't been there before, it made Bec regret coming round at all.

"I can go" Bec sighed trying to keep at least part of a smile on her face even though her head was telling her that every fear she'd had about getting involved with someone with such complications was being realised. How could she contend with an ex-wife he quite clearly still had feelings for?

"Don't... Don't go, I really don't want you to" Bradley begged, it was like he was watching someone else pushing away this gorgeous girl that he was seriously falling for, he wanted to jump in and stop them making such a mistake.

"Don't you? Because it feels like this isn't what you want. If you have a chance with your wife then you should take it, get out now before I really start falling for you...We're just a beginning. There's a whole story there with Stacey" Bec trying to push off the rejection she felt coming her way, she could feel her heart beating faster, all she wanted to do was run.

"Yeah including an ending which wasn't exactly happy ever after" Bradley insisted, reminding himself that however upset Stacey had been it didn't excuse the fact that they just weren't going to work out.

"What if ours isn't either?" Bec asked, looking into Bradley's eyes she hoped that he felt the same way as she did, she hoped that he wanted this as much as she did... A reassuring hand grabbing hold of hers told her that he did.

"It might not be... But its the mystery that keeps you reading" Bradley smiled, kissing Bec and leading her upstairs it seemed as if he truely had made his mind up.

***

"You don't look happy" Ronnie noted, her finger gently stroking Danielle's face almost as if she could feel the sadness and worry radiating from her, a burning sensation of pain that as a mother she desperately wanted to cure.

"I'm alright" Danielle assured with a weak smile that indicated she was anything but, all she could keep thinking about was Stacey. Another mess on top of all the rest that continued to make Danielle's life confusing.

Ronnie didn't believe her for one minute but she didn't say anything, somehow it seemed enough to just be there. She would do anything to know what Danielle was thinking and feeling, to be able to understand and therefore have a better chance of getting everything right.

"Do you think you can help someone that won't want to be helped?" Danielle suddenly asked, her voice was quiet she sounded like a scared little girl which only made Ronnie want to hold on tighter.

"Who?" Ronnie asked gently, she worried that maybe Danielle was talking about herself, reaching out and wanting Ronnie to help her.

"Stacey... She doesn't seem herself" Danielle admitted, she needed to say it out loud, say it to someone and get some kind of reassurance. She couldn't place her finger on exactly what was wrong but she knew there was something, and the the feeling in her stomach told her it was bad.

"Is this about the run in she had with Bec earlier? It sounds like its just a bit of jealousy" Ronnie assured, trust her sweet little girl to get all worried she thought to herself.

"I don't think its just that, she doesn't seem like Stacey anymore. She started talking about losing everything the other day and now she's lashing out. I know Stacey's always been a bit... Well a bit Stacey but this is extreme, this is different" Danielle explained, she could see that Ronnie thought she was overreacting, she didn't understand it, you had to be up close to Stacey to notice the differences but they were there.

"Maybe just try talking to her again, she's seeing her husband move on with someone new and she's hurting. All you can do is just be there for her." Ronnie promised "Talk about it, talk about it with her and talk about it with me, just don't keep it all bottled up if you're worried about something." A gentle sigh passed from Ronnie, kissing the top of her daughters head.

"I guess" Danielle muttered, leaning into her mothers embrace, letting herself feel protected and safe.

"Oh I almost forgot to ask, how did your session go? Everything ok with Steven?" Ronnie asked casually, she didn't notice the way that Danielle tensed at her question.

"It was fine, everything was fine" Danielle lied, it didn't matter that her ankles were stinging. All that did was remind her how good it was to be free, free from Steven, free from Ronnie's worrying. In control.

***

Creeping down the hallway wearing just Bradley's Star Trek t-shirt Bec tried to find the bathroom without making a sound. Reaching for the bathroom light she was suddenly aware of another figure behind her, cringing as she turned around she had a feeling she knew exactly who would be there.

"Mrs Branning... Hi!" Bec grinned nervously not quite sure what to say, surely there wasn't anything to say! Shifting from food to foot Bec couldn't help but notice the way that Dot purposely stroked the little gold cross that hung from her necklace.

Dot looked Bec up and down as Bec desperately tried to pull down the t-shirt to cover herself up as much as possible. She had a feeling her efforts were unappreciated by a perturbed looking Dot, who raised her eyebrows in a judgmental fashion.

"Rebecca isn't it?" Dot huffed, she hadn't imagined her first meeting with this girl would involve so few clothes. She was slightly shocked with Bradley as well, he was normally such a good boy...

"Certainly is." Bec grinned trying to keep as upbeat and friendly as she could "Would you like to use the bathroom first?" Bec offered, stepping aside to let Dot through.


	85. Me Versus You

Ronnie blew on her coffee, trying to feel alive and awake she drank deeply from the mug. Her fingers picked at the piece of toast on her plate, it was almost as if she knew right then that something bad was coming.

***

Danielle had hung around for almost quarter of an hour waiting for someone to come and set up the stall, dark clouds hung over her threatening to rain. She'd thought about going over to the Slaters putting on a happy face and trying to coax Stacey out of bed but decided against it, she couldn't cope with angry Mo again. Blowing away a stray piece of hair that dangled in her face she pulled her sweatshirt arms down so they covered her cold hands.

"Where's your mate? And what about this stall, are you actually planning on trading today?" The market inspector interrupted Danielle's thoughts with his shrill voice, he had a way of instantly annoying her, rolling her eyes she turned to face him.

"Stacey's coming" Danielle insisted, worrying she would instantly giving away her doubt. Clutching her phone in her pocket she tried to avoid the market inspectors glare whilst she scrolled through her contacts.

"She better in the next ten minutes. Young lady you should realise that this pitch is in a brilliant position. I could get another stall on there in an hour, one whose trader actually bothered to turn up once in a while. Thing about you young ones nowadays is they all think they can do what they like when they like without putting in any effort, not on my watch young lady, not on my watch" the market inspector lectured, his monotonous tone caused Danielle to lose complete focus as she turned away, dialing Stacey's number.

"Stacey? Stacey are you there? It's Danielle.... Stacey are you setting up the stall this morning?" Danielle asked, the phone had been answered but the only reply was silence. She could hear shuffling in the background but there was no indication as to where she was.

"Who is this? Danielle is this you?" A mans voice asked, it took her a couple of minutes to work out that it was Billy on the other end of the line, though why he was answering Stacey's phone was a complete puzzle.

"Billy? Why have you got Stacey's phone?" Danielle asked, out of the corner of her eye she could see the market inspectors exasperated expression, she shot him an angry glance and he scurried away to annoy someone else.

"You better get down here Dan. I'm cleaning at the club and I found Stacey slumped at the bar! No idea how she got in here, she's pretty drunk. Ronnie is going to go mental when she finds out how much booze has gone." Billy explained, he'd barely finished his sentence when Danielle started moving towards the club, desperate to get to Stacey and look after her.

The gentle snoring from the bar showed Danielle exactly where to find her best friend. Pulling up a stool next to her, Danielle stroked Stacey's matted hair gently. Smiling as Stacey opened her eyes, Danielle reached out to support Stacey who almost flopped backwards completely unaware of where she was and what she was doing.

"How'd you get in here hey Stace? Bit early to be drinking isn't it?" Danielle coaxed gently, she'd seen Stacey to hundreds of crazy things but there was something about this that just didn't seem right.

"Go away Danielle, just leave me alone. I'll give your precious mother money for the booze, I was just trying to have a little fun. I've got money Dan, I can give her money." Stacey slurred, fierce insistence that she could make everything better all by herself.

"Hey Stacey come on, how about I take you home and you get some sleep and i'll get the stall set up. Tonight we can go out and have a good time, alright?" Danielle suggested, she felt completely out of her depth here, Billy kept shooting her supportive glances but she could see he was relieved not to have to deal with it himself.

"Forget it Danielle, why don't you just leave me alone? You had no problem leaving me alone before. You can't, you can't be interested now. I just want to have a bit of fun alright? Go, go back to your precious family! Think i'll just avoid making friends from now on because everyone I love just ends up being destroyed by your 'family' I would rather be me than be one of them Dan, you made your choice" Stacey ranted, standing up and down whilst she did so, moving around, pushing her glass towards her and away from her Danielle watched completely mesmerized by the strange collection of movements, so completely out of control.

"Stacey what's this all about? Where has all this come from? We're best friends remember, always." Danielle tried to reassure Stacey, hands on her shoulders to steady her. Trying to understand Stacey's pain helped her blank out her own, dulled the annoyance of her fresh cuts.

Best friends, standing opposite each other, both empty, neither could see their own problems. Both uttering the constant mantra silently in their heads of "i'm ok." All Stacey wanted to do was run away and escape from herself and all Danielle wanted to do was focus so completely on someone else that she didn't have to see what she was doing to herself.

"I don't need you, I don't need Bradley and I don't need Sean. You're all dirty now, tainted with Mitchell and I don't need that." Stacey uttered, her voice filled with disgust.

"Stacey this is pathetic, will you just snap out of it?! There's something wrong with you..." Danielle shouted angrily out of pure frustration, she had no other way of getting through to her.

Without even thinking Stacey leapt at Danielle, swiftly slapping Danielle's face she felt a rage build up inside her. "Me pathetic? What about you Danielle? Your own mother didn't want you, she threw you away like a piece of rubbish, treated you like dirt of months and you still go crawling round her. You are pathetic, you." Stacey spat, stumbling away grabbing a bottle of vodka before she left.

"Danielle? You alright?" Billy asked quietly, he could see from Danielle's tear stained face she wasn't and tried to give her a reassuring smile. "How about I call Ronnie?"

"Please don't. I'm alright, Stacey just upset me a bit. Think i'll go home now" Danielle muttered, holding back tears she hung around awkwardly for a few minutes to make sure that Stacey was well and truely out the way.

***

"Morning!" Ronnie laughed as she saw Bec trying to slip into the house unnoticed, realising she'd been caught smiling and rolling her eyes Bec entered the kitchen. As she rummaged in the fridge for something to eat Ronnie casually added "Bradley didn't feed you then?"

"Didn't really fancy sticking around for brekkie, think Mrs Branning's seen enough of me to last her a lifetime..." Bec blushed, laughing as she saw Ronnie's shocked response the two sisters were in stitches as Bec gave a full account of her night time encounter with Dot, including reasonable impressions and a full reenactment.

"Well you haven't really lived until you've had a disapproving glare from Dot so I wouldn't worry too much, things to sort out at the club i'll see you later ok?" Ronnie smiled exiting the house leaving Bec to wallow in embarrassment.

***

"Why would I trust you? We're not friends, in fact I would say after I destroyed your laptop and took the car lot from you, you'd want to avoid me" Jack spoke with more than a little suspicion apparent in his voice, looking up and down at Janine he tried to figure out what her agenda was, why she was here at all.

"This isn't about trust, this is about power and the way I see it there's no-one else round here with as much potential as me. Maybe I went about things all wrong when I arrived but now is the time Jack, now is the time to take advantage of a bad situation and turn it to our advantage. You want to see Ronnie suffer as much as I do... As much as Archie does" Janine smiled, she wasn't going to pretend to be Jack's friend, she was simply going to capitalize on the already existing animosity that existed and turn it to her advantage.

Janine had failed before, she'd ended up looking like a fool and this time she needed to play a smarter game. She would do whatever she could to give herself all that she believed she deserved, money, businesses, friends... No longer would Janine Butcher sit back and be silent.

"Maybe you should fill me in on exactly what you're proposing here" Jack smiled back, walking over to the office door he closed it ensuring they wouldn't be interrupted. The humiliation he'd suffered in this very office at the hands of Ronnie still fresh in his mind, still itching and him and refusing to disappear.

"Maybe we should talk about this over dinner tonight? Won't Ronnie be in soon?" Janine panicked checking her watch, the last thing she needed was Ronnie picking up on anything too soon.

"Right fine, Fargos tonight." Jack grunted, watching Janine scurry off he wondered to himself what he was getting into. Looking at the picture of Amy on his desk he sighed, knowing that whatever he did, he would be doing it to guarantee his position in his little girls life.

***

Danielle hoped the house would be empty, she wanted to scream, shout and more importantly take control. She couldn't do it with anyone else around, it was too risky, she couldn't complete the almost ritualistic sequence of 'healing'. The moment she'd put her key into the lock she winced with annoyance, hearing music she knew that Bec must be inside. Wiping her eyes she tried to make herself look normal, she didn't want Bec to know she'd been crying.

"Hey Dan come and look at this!" Bec called, holding a magazine in her hands she planned to go over all the latest celebrity details with Danielle but noticed immediately that something wasn't right.

"She's always getting drunk and stumbling out of clubs" Danielle plastered on a fake smile, feigning interest in the article. Her face dropping when Bec closed the magazine and looked straight at her.

"Hey come on what's wrong?" Bec asked, Danielle looked pretty upset. She couldn't possibly know about what had happened with Ronnie could she? Bec thought angrily of Ronnie's insistence not to say anything, she just knew it would end up hurting Danielle more in the long run.

"She's hurting and she won't tell me. I knew there was something wrong" Danielle wept, she couldn't control the build up of tears that had been developing. Sobbing she let go of all her pain and anguish about Stacey not realising that Bec thought she was talking about something else all together...

"Listen I know Ronnie kept it a secret but I guess it's embarrassing having your ex do something like that, you know Ronnie she hates looking weak and Jack hitting her made her feel like that. Plus she didn't want you to worry, ok? She kept it a secret to protect you, but we won't let him get away with it ok Danielle? We'll make him pay I promise." Bec rushed, panicking as she saw the look of horror on Danielle's face.

"What?" Danielle stuttered, her brain processing what Bec had said, another secret making it's dramatic emergence at the worst time possible.

"You're not talking about Ronnie are you?" Bec sighed quietly, talk about foot in mouth hers was firmly lodged.

"Jack hit my mum?" Danielle gasped. Jack had hit Ronnie and Ronnie had told Bec about it... Not a word mentioned to her... Was she not important enough for this piece of information? Bolting up the stairs Danielle just had to get away from it all, all the lies and all the people that let her down.


	86. Blood Lust

Bec immediately cursed herself as she became aware of her mistake, chasing after Danielle she realised she'd locked herself in Ronnie's room. Listening to the gentle sobs that came from the other side of the door Bec felt pangs of guilt, sitting down against the door she tried to get Danielle to come out and talk to her. She had to try and repair the damage that she'd caused.

"Dan, come on out will you? Just come and talk to me, i'm sorry alright I thought that's what you were talking about... It was nothing though honest, Jack pushed her when they were arguing but that was it. Ronnie probably just didn't want to worry you with it. Come on Dan, talk to me" Bec begged, trying her hardest to play down the situation, anything to make Danielle feel better and to at least get her where she could see her. The haunting image of Danielle cuts kept flashing in Bec's mind and she knew she wouldn't be able to force them away until she could see Danielle.

"Please, leave me alone" Danielle cried, unsteady breathing as she tried to calm herself down. She needed peace and quiet, away from Stacey, away from Ronnie and away from Bec. She just needed to get away, into this whole other place where she began to feel like herself again.

"Dan..." Bec sighed, her hand pressed up against the closed door she could sense how useless her efforts were. Pulling herself up she decided the best thing to do was to get Ronnie, she needed to explain what was happening.

Listening to the footsteps that clambered downstairs and the reassuring bang of the front door Danielle finally felt her racing heart calm down. She could feel the tracks of drying tears on her cheeks, staring down at delicate veins Danielle tried to fight the familiar blood lust but knew it was useless, she was alone now and finally she could take control.

Bec felt like she was almost sprinting across to the club, knowing that if anything happened, if Danielle did anything to herself now it would feel like it was her fault.

***

Ronnie had walked in to the mess of a club that Stacey had left behind, Billy had made an attempt to start cleaning and he'd explained what had happened. Releasing a deep sigh Ronnie knew there was nothing she could do, she could hardly involve the police, Danielle would never forgive her. Her fingers traced the word that was scratched into the bar, deep and obvious, it read 'liar'. Who it was directed at Ronnie wasn't quite sure, from what Danielle had said Stacey felt as if everyone had betrayed her at the moment. Whatever was going on with Stacey didn't matter to Ronnie though, as cruel as that seemed all she could think about was how Stacey's issues would effect Danielle. Danielle could barely cope with her own problems, never mind the problems of someone else.

***

Stacey was a mess a complete and utter mess and everyone that tried to help was simply rewarded with abuse. It was as if she'd slowly been losing grip of everything she thought she knew recently, it was all slipping away and sometimes it felt like her body was in the possession of someone else and she was simply an onlooker. She'd felt it creeping up on her for a little while but now it was so bad she couldn't stop herself, she simply watched as the person that had taken over ripped to shreds every person she loved.

She could see her mum in the corner of the room watching her, she was the only person that looked as if she recognised her anymore. That of course was not a good thing.

Waiting until Jean made her way to the kitchen, a cup of tea seemed to be everyones answer to a problem, Stacey quietly slipped upstairs to grab a bag containing very little but just enough for her to survive. Finally creeping out of the front door she stumbled as fast as she could manage across the Square, heading towards the station to make her escape.

***

Bec almost crashed into Stacey as she ran, pausing to look at the girl that hadn't even acknowledged their near collision before snapping herself back into reality and continuing her run to the club. Slamming herself through the door and hurtling down the stairs she needn't have said a word to Ronnie, her expression said everything.

"I've screwed up" Bec uttered, her eyes desperate.

***

"_Be happy, alright? That's all I want" Lizzie smiled, squeezing Danielle's hand with her own shaky fingers. It was a struggle to even force her mouth to form the simple signal of happiness but there was no way she wanted Danielle to know just how close to the end she was. Let her believe they still had time, she thought._

"_I don't think I can be without you" Danielle admitted, her voice sounded so childlike, it was as if she'd slipped back into being a little girl which simply made her feel guilty. Guilty that she couldn't be strong enough to support her mother, father and brother. She wanted to hold them all up but she simply wasn't strong enough._

"_Follow your heart" Lizzie rasped, her voice barely able to make a sound she sipped at the water which Danielle had immediately offered out to her._

Blood has a certain aroma, sort of like metal, it starts to fade though Danielle thought. Maybe it was because she was becoming so used to it, it hardly registered when she breathed it in.

"_This isn't right" _

She could hear Lizzie's voice... Her mothers voice... In her head, trying to stop her but it was pointless she'd come too far now. She felt guilty even thinking about the woman that had raised her, especially as she sat here now in Ronnie's room. Could she love two women and give them the same title? Was that possible? Or fair even? Oh it was simply another complication, another cut dragged across her skin to give her brain something else to focus on.

***

"I need to go to her, she needs me" Ronnie panicked, dropping everything the moment Bec had been able to explain the situation to her. No words even needed to be exchanged between the pair to say what they both were thinking, the shared dark thought about what Danielle would do. "How could you leave her?"

The words hit Bec like a punch to the stomach, the way that Ronnie was looking at her. Had she been wrong to leave? She thought she needed to get Ronnie, the thought she'd done the right thing but now seeing Ronnie move away from her, one final look of upset and disgust Bec began to completely doubt herself. How stupid could she have been? Firstly she'd caused the situation in the first place with her big mouth and then she'd walked out when she knew precisely what Danielle would do to 'fix' things...

***

Ronnie's head was pounding, anger and frustration that her legs weren't carrying her fast enough. She thought she heard someone calling her name but she didn't care, they didn't matter all that mattered was Danielle. Remembering that dark feeling that had overtaken her at breakfast, she should have trusted herself then and there that something was going to go wrong.

"_How can you mother a child when you're just a child yourself. You haven't thought this through Veronica" Archie spat at his teenage daughter, yet another pointless attempt to explain to her exactly why she couldn't keep that thing that was growing inside of her. She never listened, too headstrong, too opinionated. "You're selfish, you have no idea about caring for someone other than yourself. Veronica here it is, truth time, you could be an adult and I still wouldn't think you capable of being a mother. Some people have just got that maternal my darling... Well there's always cats" Archie smirked taking almost a sick pleasure in her crestfallen expression._

Ronnie couldn't help but feel responsible, Danielle had been so well adjusted before... Before the Mitchell curse had claimed her, it was like a disease that crawled into anyone who entered the family and didn't stop until it destroyed them.

She'd walked so fast before, but now actually standing at the front door her legs couldn't move. Ronnie didn't want to go inside, she could hear the phone ringing from inside and so slowly unlocked the door. She didn't answer the phone, simply let it ring until it clicked to message.

'_This is a message for Danielle, Danielle it's Steven again. You still haven't phoned me back, please Danielle it's really important. It's been far too long since you've popped in, literally all I need is a phonecall, just a heads up to say everything is under control okay?'_

Pulling her hand through her already messy hair Ronnie sighed deeply, before making impossible footsteps to Danielle's bedroom. Finding it empty she walked silently to the empty bathroom before finally working out that Danielle was behind the only closed door in the house.

Pressing her forehead against the door she tried to find words to even start to confront what was happening. "Baby" she muttered clumsily, only succeeding in dredging up her own painful memories of the past. Surprised when she heard the click of the lock opening Ronnie pushed it open as Danielle immediately crashed into Ronnie. Clutching onto her with a deep and intense ferocity that echoed the moment they found each other again all the months before at the cafe.

Ronnie broke from the moment as her eyes peered over Danielle's shoulder at the carefully arranged array of equipment that was fanned out on the floor. It was scarily organised, Danielle even had antiseptic wipes to clean her cuts. It was all so planned, hardly a spontaneous action and that seemed to terrify Ronnie the most. It showed a complete and utter awareness that Danielle knew exactly what she was doing and proved to Ronnie that she truly had no understanding of this at all.

"I didn't want you to find out, it was supposed to be a secret" Danielle sniffed, sobbing silently into Ronnie's shoulder. Breathless little gasps of "i'm sorry" escaping as Ronnie tried to sooth her daughter.

Sitting Danielle down on the bed, Ronnie continued Danielle's already started attempt at trying to clean up.

"We're going to get away, just you and me ok? We need to get away" Ronnie uttered, formulating a plan in her mind as she desperately tried to hold herself together. Her hand reaching out to touch Danielle's face, a small gesture to show her that nothing mattered but them. She knew there was a hundred things to explain, everything that Bec had let slip and everything that had happened with Stacey but for now there was no need for words. A mother wordlessly starting to patch together the broken pieces of her child.


End file.
